Not a Damsel in Distress

Dorcas Clara Meadowes “The witch with fire in her heart and magic on her fingertips and a smile made for war. The girl who danced and laughed and drank and bled, always with the stars in her eyes. For dreams of death but hopes of living”

[natexserena]

and our parents called our names, until just you and i were left…

[doemeadxwes]

Marlene: So, Mary, me and Dorcas-

Mary: No.

Marlene: What? You don't even know what I was gonna say!

Mary: I don't have to. Anytime you start off with 'me and Dorcas', the safest answer is always no.

Marlene: Huh...

Mary:

Mary:

Mary: What did you do?

Marlene: Weeellll......

[wolfofhogsmeade]

Meadowpin & Physical Affection

@doemeadxwes

[wolfofhogsmeade]

[1978] Here’s Why || Meadowpin

[wolfofhogsmeade]

It was so utterly strange. Though they had never been a couple, not even for a day, Remus had always felt more loyal towards Doe than many boys seemed to be with their girlfriends. He did not question why she said these kind of things, and did not point out that technically, he had the right to be with whomever he liked, without telling her. That was simply not the kind of relationship they had, not only because they were best friends. Doe had spend so may years loving a lie, an idea. It would probably take her longer than one night to understand that the person she thought she had known did not exist - that he was not one, but two, and gradually one of the two was killing the other.

The feeling of her small, warm body pressed against his own was enough to make Remus’ breath tremble. His potions had almost completely numbed him to the pain in his body, and Doe’s sweet smell, her soft touch… just being close to somebody he trusted, Remus treasured all of it. He feared that she would move away or even leave if he spoke, but at the same time he could hardly ignore what she was putting out into the room. Because he did owe this girl an explanation, and he wanted her to understand that what she thought of his love life was not entirely true. With one of his hands rubbing Doe’s back, Remus tried to think of a good way to put it.

“I don’t get with other girls”, he said slowly, looking at the window over Doe’s head as she closed her eyes. “I slept with one, like I told you. And it was just that, it was… just sex. I was lonely, and she found out what I was, so it happened… but that was it. After her I’ve never even touched anyone”, he said truthfully. The whole issue was horribly shameful, and for a moment Remus did ask himself why he had to justify himself. It was not like Dorcas was a virgin, either. “Look, Doe… I can’t sleep with someone who doesn’t know who I really am. It’s not fair on them, as much as it might put me on the side shelf. That’s why… I stopped kissing you in the bathroom. That, and that you were really emotional about your mom, I would have felt as if I took advantage of you. Now… I’m sorry if it led to you believing I was lying to you. I guess I was, in a way, but… not the way you thought.”

[doemeadxwes]

Dorcas felt as if he wanted to crawl into a hole and sleep there for a very long time. Instead she just kept her eyes shut and her breathing even and tried to deny that any of this was happening. “Okay,” She said quietly. She couldn’t explain why it made her so jealous. Why she wondered why he had chosen someone else over her, told someone else his secret before her. However, Dorcas kept her mouth shut and wondered if he even wanted her here in the first place. “Should I just leave then? Is this too much for you?” She asked and pulled away from him to finally look at him. She had no idea what she was doing, sometimes things with Remus could be so hard. It was a roller coaster of emotions, and she was getting sick.

She nervously ran a hand through her hair, and thought about her next words before they left her lips. “I understand that you don’t want to be with me, you’ve made it crystal clear. I would just would appreciate it if you wouldn’t bring it up, because I’ve made myself look like a fool in having feelings for you. I’m trying to get over it, so can we just drop it?” She asked him. She didn’t want to keep reliving the torment of unrequited love, and she hated being reminded how he felt about dating her. 

“I don’t care that you’re a werewolf, and you might not believe me now, but eventually you’ll see. If I didn’t find out for this long do you really think that changes anything? I’ve spent almost every day with you for seven years, so it offends me that you still think my opinion would change.”

[doemeadxwes]

[1981 AU] Little Surprises

[doemeadxwes]

The words that she wanted to come out of her lips weren’t easy and it seemed like she wouldn’t be able to force them out. But she had too before this went on any further. She had to tell Remus no matter how he felt about her afterwards, because being dishonest and hiding it from him would only hurt them both. When she was seventeen years old she had found out that she would probably never be able to have children and she cried in the same way she was crying now. She had thought of herself as both broken and unlovable, because why would anyone want someone so damaged? Why would anyone want her when they could be with someone 100% healthy. But then she had remembered why she had loved Remus Lupin for all of those years. In all the time she had known him he had never been perfect or healthy, but she fell in love with all the pieces that weren’t broken. And even the pieces that were broken Dorcas found beautiful, and Remus had found the same broken beauty in her.

No matter how hard it was going to be Dorcas had to tell him because she loved him. She loved him so much she would leave him if he didn’t want the baby and let him have the life he had wanted.

Sobs were coming at a more rapid pace and the tears rolled down her cheeks like a waterfall, “Remus....” She breathed as her voice cracked, “I’m pregnant.”

[doemeadxwes]

[1981 AU] Little Surprises

[doemeadxwes]

His unwavering kindness and the obvious concern in Remus’ voice only made Dorcas resent herself more. Her back was pressed firmly against the locked bathroom door and her head was in her hands and she could barely stop herself from shaking. The loving way he called her sweetheart, was almost too much to bear and a sob tore free from her throat. The loving voice on the other side of the door was one she had betrayed and hid things from, and she couldn’t imagine Remus ever forgiving her.

It was torture knowing the warm embrace and solid comfort Dorcas desperately needed was on the other side of the door. That all she would have to do would be to open it and let the man she loved envelope her in his arms and allow her to cry every tear she had. But she had betrayed him. “I’ve.... I’ve done something...” Dorcas whispered, but she knew that Remus would be able to hear her. She knew she would have to tell him. Their baby was growing inside of her and the last thing she wanted was for it to come into the world unwanted. She wanted Remus to love it as much as she knew she would, as much as she already did. “I did something and didn’t tell you...” Another sob broke from her lips, “and you’re going to hate me.”

[maraudersalbum]

“Happy 17th Birthday, Marly.”

“Thanks, Dorky. Although going to Italy so we could have some of their Gelatos and dragging me to France may or may not be too much.”

“Oh come on, you’re 17 now - and you passed your Apparation test. We can apparate now.”

“Yeah, but travelling all these long distance is making me tired.”

“We can’t go back yet!!”

“What?”

“Er… Paris has the best chocolates. Come on, let’s go.”

Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadowes in Paris to celebrate Marlene’s 17th. Dorcas is actually distracting her since the others are still finishing the surprise back at the McKinnon manor.

Taken by an Enchanted Camera

[msmarlenemckinnon]

@doemeadxwes

[natexserena]

I love you long, long after you’re gone.

[doemeadxwes]

[1981 AU] Little Surprises

[doemeadxwes]

She had been stupid to think that Remus wouldn’t ask her immediately what the healers had said. He was always so concerned about her wellbeing she should have known. She looked at him sitting on the couch as if she was frozen in time, she wished she could freeze his smile on his face forever, because once he found out she was sure that she would never see it again. As Dorcas stood in the doorway, her nose still pink from the cold winter wind, she could not make another move towards him. Her feet were planted firmly on the hardwood and the only thoughts going through her head was, he is going to hate me. 

When Dorcas had first gone searching for a cure to her “disease” it was because Remus had proposed to her and she foolishly hoped that one day, if it was made possible, he would want to start a family with her. So she went searching in secret for some magic medicine that would somehow allow her to have children and the only person she could tell was her brother. He was the only one who could understand why she so fiercely wanted to be a mother, to be a mother like their mother. She had felt horrible keeping the secret from him, because she knew first hand what it was like when the person she loved hid something from her. But every time she had wanted to tell him why she was gone so often on “errands” she stopped herself. She didn’t know if it was because she didn’t want to get her hopes up by making it real and admitting it, or get his hopes up, or maybe she was afraid he would tell her stop. Tell her that he didn’t want kids even if she could have them. So she kept it to herself and naively thought it could never work until it did.

Dorcas watched him pat the cushion next to him in slow motion, and instead of taking the place next to him she turned on her heel and rushed to the bathroom in their bedroom and locked the door with magic behind her. She couldn’t face him and the last thing she wanted to do was tell him.

[doemeadxwes]

[1981 AU] Little Surprises

The doctor had told Dorcas everything she had wanted to hear since she had been diagnosed as unable to birth children in her seventh year. He had spoken to her deepest desires when he told her with a smile on his face, “The experimental medication worked. You’re pregnant.” But Dorcas couldn’t be as happy as she wanted too even when she touched her stomach and knew with certainty that her baby was growing inside of her. Remus’ baby was growing inside of her. Being a mother was all that Dorcas had ever wanted, but she had done it behind the back of the only person she had ever loved. Remus and Dorcas hadn’t talked very much about having children even after they had become engaged because it had always seemed impossible for them. Dorcas had been told by science that she couldn’t have children, and Remus had never wanted them in fear of passing on his curse. A part of Dorcas had always wondered if that was why he loved her so much, because he would never have to tell her no. Things had been simpler that way without using protection and without the possibility of starting a family.

But that was all about to change. Dorcas had returned from a curse breaker mission because she was feeling weak. She woke up every morning feeling sick and would throw up even if there was hardly anything in her stomach. Her illness made her such a liability to her team that they sent her home to be examined even though the mission had just began. She came home to find out that she wasn’t sick at all, she was just pregnant. Her gut reaction to the news had been joy and excitement, but it only took a few moments for it to transform into fear. Remus is going to hate me, he is going to think that I lied to him. 

Instead of leaving the doctors examination room with a smile on her face she walked away with a burden on her shoulders. She had no idea how she was going to tell someone who had never wanted children that he was going to be a father. She felt as if her entire world was falling apart as she apparated outside of her apartment door and took a deep breathe as she looked at the door. Remus was going to be inside and their entire future was about to change. You can do this, she told herself as she began to ascend the staircase to her apartment number and opened the door.

Remus was waiting for her, and had even wanted to go to the appointment with her if he hadn’t had work to do. She was so glad he hadn’t, because seeing him so happy and peaceful on the couch made her heart ache. She was about to steam roll his future.

[wolfofhogsmeade]

[1997] Sweet Daughter || Hazel

It had been quiet in the castle for the major part of the day. Hogsmeade Weekends usually were. The younger children, eleven and twelve, usually took in the common rooms while the older ones were gone, finally taking up all the space they wanted without being shooed away. Only every once in a while, somebody’s steps could be heard on the corridor, and Remus had left his office’s door open to let in more of the air that began to smell so nicely of the summer. Of warm grass, and sea salt.

With Doe away for work and foot high towers of homework to correct, Remus had had every reason to stay in Hogwarts for the entire weekend. It was always better to spread the work onto as many days as possible, because at some point he became drowsy from the repetitive essays and did not trust his judgement anymore; and after all, every student deserved a fair grade. While he picked up his cooling coffee (not that he minded, with the rising temperatures), he thought to hear somebody by the door, and spoke to them without looking up from the sentence he was reading. “Yes, come in, one second”, he mumbled, and frowned at the parchment. “Why would you spell Dementor with a T, Jack”, he muttered, shaking his head and scribbling something onto the homework of Benjy’s and Marlene’s son.

@doemeadxwes

[doemeadxwes]

Hazel Lupin had always been an uneasy sleeper and a self proclaimed insomniac. She simply always had way too much going on in her head to ever fall asleep peacefully, and this night was no exception. Her mother’s letter was late, and that was enough to make Hazel sick with worry. Hazel was closer to her mother than most daughters were, because Dorcas Lupin wasn’t like everyone else’s mother. She was Hazel’s best friend. Dorcas didn’t fall into the category of a stay at home mom who only wanted to dress up their daughter’s in dresses. Instead, her mother would bring her to the muddiest hills when it rained and scream her head off alongside Hazel as the rolled down and got mud in places they didn’t think possible. Her mother didn’t read her fairytales, instead she acted out the adventures she had all over the world and never failed to answer her questions no matter how grown up they were. Hazel Lupin felt as if she had won the mother lottery every day of her life, and that only made it worse when she knew her mom was somewhere in the world risking her life. Her mother’s letter was five days later and it was never late.

The only person in the world who understood how much Hazel missed her mom was her father, and luckily for her he was down a couple staircases away. Hazel had learned everything she knew about sneaking around from her mother, so it went without saying that she was an expert at it. Much to her father’s dissapproval Dorcas had taught their daughter every trick she had up her sleeve when it came to avoiding trouble and curfew. 

It was late and by the time Hazel reached her father’s office his candle was just about finished. “It’s because Jack is a retard, and I’m not sure how he even remembers to breathe.” Hazel said entering his office and answering the comment he hadn’t thought she had heard. Jack’s mother might be her mother’s best friend, but merlin did she loathe that boy. Hazel immediately took a seat opposite of her father and the frown was prominent on her face. “I can’t sleep. I’m worried about mum.”

[greatesttravers-deactivated2017]

An Apple A Day [2004] OPEN

[doemeadxwes]

Dorcas chuckled at the fact that Regulus pretended not to remember her. “yeah that’s correct, it’s not like your brother was groomsmen at our wedding or anything.” Despite her sarcasm, Dorcas did wait patiently to receive her husbands potions, knowing what kind of hell awaited her if she got the wrong ones. 

[peter--pans-bitch-deactivated20]

Amber Heard and Blake Lively

[msmarlenemckinnon]

@doemeadxwes

[metadefumaca]

[madam-bones]

The Ministers Wife // 2000 // Open - Au

[doemeadxwes]

Every time her eyes found Remus Lupin her heart seemed to skip a beat and a smile instantly found it’s way to her lips. The smile she had already had in place only widened once Remus reached her side and a blush touched her cheeks when he leaned in to plant a warm and comforting kiss on her cheek. “The drinks are just as wonderful as the occassion, Amelia.” Dorcas replied.

[mcgonahgall]

SERENATE + FUTURE AESTHETIC.

↳ “I want to be here with you. I just got scared that if we moved too fast things weren’t going to work out, and I really don’t want that to happen because I’ve waited. I’ve waited a really long time for this.”

[doemeadxwes]

Dorcas Meadowes AU Moodboard // 

I think my body forgot to tell my brain that we are getting old.