i know that an aspect of tshd is how as yoshiki becomes less and less human ‘Hikaru’ becomes more and more human. But someone pointed out that ‘Hikaru’ isn’t just learning to be human/living with human i.e. respecting boundaries (not absorbing yoshiki without asking) or the value of human life (not killing people), he is also learning shame.
We see initially that while ‘Hikaru’ insta kill anyone who suspects his non-human nature, he still is pretty nonchalant about it to Yoshiki e.g. how he was always the one offering yoshiki to come feel his insides which could be a metaphor for being intimate/vulnerable wi the each other. He felt comfortable doing this with yoshiki because yoshiki was the first person to accept him as himself and not as Hikaru.
But we also see instances of ‘Hikaru’ getting rejected by the world around him. The old lady Matsuura, when he literally couldn’t walk through the gates during the summer festival, but also yoshiki. And I think Yoshiki’s rejection is what stuck to ‘Hikaru’ the most.
When ‘Hikaru ’ goes to kill Asako after she almost finds him out, Yoshiki stops them in time and gets mad at him. For ‘Hikaru’, his response was his monster’s survival instinct kicking in, and so for him it’s justified. He especially doesn’t understand why Yoshiki is still mad at him despite Asako was still being alive and him being able to keep his secret. He doesn’t understand why Yoshiki is rejecting him despite having accepted his monstrous nature before. And then Yoshiki stabs him. lol
Disclaimer. I am not saying that Yoshiki’s reaction wasn’t justified, it literally was. I’m just trying to look at this scene from ‘Hikaru’’s point of view.
After getting stabbed, ‘Hikaru’ gives half his insides to Yoshiki. I personally see this scene as ‘Hikaru’ repressing himself for the sake of Yoshiki, and I also noticed that after this scene, ‘Hikaru’ doesn’t offer to do the chest thing again. Matter of fact, he has already stopped casually being physical with Yoshiki as we see in the scene where yoshiki is crying about og!Hikaru.
We see ‘Hikaru’ becoming more and more ashamed of his non-human side, how he started calling himself a monster, how he started being disgusted by his behaviour when he loses control. And it goes to a point where he wanted to go back to the mountain so the people around him wouldn’t be affected by his “monstrous” self.
All this to say that it’s interesting how much we’re talking about how Yoshiki becoming more of a “moster”, losing empathy or becoming mixed. But we don’t talk near as often about how the human mindset and how deeply shame is attached to it is affecting ‘Hikaru’.
Anyway, this is just me ranting about my half-formed thoughts about my favourite character. didn’t even think about it too much so if it’s kinda incoherent, my bad lol.
