I told them I didn't want to do this. Parade around with people I'd probably never see again so they could celebrate my birthday. They could've done that from afar, or through a screen. But no, I gave in to the damn pleas for me to just pop out for the night and now I was here wanting nothing more than to be back home curled up in bed.
My eyes scanned the rooftop, seeing some faces of people I'd recognized, a few artists, and people I've never shared more than two words with.
But I found myself looking for one person specifically, I know she probably wouldn't be here and I shouldn't want her to show but I was still looking.
But they were here celebrating me turning twenty-six. And I swear if one more person asked me how it felt to be twenty-six I might slap em. I felt no different than I did twenty hours ago.
"Will you stop being so tense?" I felt an arm nudge me before I heard the voice, but knew who it was: Malik. My little cousin. "It's your damn birthday, and you look like you would rather be anywhere but here."
"I would," I replied dryly, and he snorted and I accepted the shot he gave me, not bothering to ask what it was before I gulped it down, making a face as it burned down my throat.
"Too bad. You needed to show face. Let people know you're alive." I rolled my eyes as I looked at the source of the voice: Devon.
"Trust me if I die, they'll be some of the first to know," I mumbled as I looked around again. "Every damn thing I do is broadcasted, my death might make national news." There was no humor in my voice, but they still laughed and my eyes rolled again.
As I looked around, I saw more people coming in. I knew who one of them was: Kehlani, and some of their friends.
I didn't have a personal relationship with Kehlani but I had seen them in passing at parties over the years.
"Any kind of publicity is good publicity." Marcus my manager said and I raised my eyebrow at him, and he cleared his throat. "Almost any is good."
"Well, I've been here. People have seen me, so that means I can go."
I hated public spaces so much, hated being the center of attention and it was ironic because of the job I chose.
"Aht, no you're not." He said and I grunted, listening to the sound surrounding us.
"You might as well get comfortable. Go get you a shot, and go find you a lady friend to make it worth your while." Devon said and I bit my lip, as I cleared my throat. "I know I am." He mumbled lowly, and as I looked at him he was already eye fucking some broad across the roof. "I'll catch up with y'all later." He muttered as he walked in her direction and my head shook.
"I'm telling y'all he gon catch something from one of these ladies one of these days," Marcus said and Malik and I shrugged.
But I thought about what he said, about someone to spend the night with—it wouldn't be anyone here but I had a few girls on rotation that knew what it was and I could call them up. Maybe.
Never anything more than a temporary fix, a temporary distraction, always temporary.
"Where's Simone?" I asked Malik since she had been the one mainly telling me to get my ass out here for this and she wasn't even here.
"She'll be here in a few minutes, she just texted me." He answered and I hummed, as someone I didn't know came up to me and wished me a happy birthday, and I thanked them before they walked away and I clicked my tongue.
"Kai?" I turned to find the voice, and I saw Kehlani there, I blinked.
"What's up?" I asked them, and I saw from the corner of my eye Malik and Marcus disappearing and I wanted to say something but I didn't want to be rude to Kehlani.
"I wanted to come say happy birthday!" I smiled and chuckled nervously. "I'm surprised you even had a party." She teased and I laughed.
It was no surprise to anyone that I hated going out, I always said it, but I did have those rare moments where I would actually want to go, but again, those are real rare.
Or if I was getting paid for it, then I'd go out no problem.
"I got dragged out, you won't see me for another month." I joked and they laughed.
"Ain't that a shame?" My face shifted as I looked at them at the subtle flirting or maybe I was imagining it, because she didn't look bothered.
The music that was playing turned into one of my old songs, and I bit my lip, and shifted on my feet.
"I listened to your new album yesterday," I said to them and she looked surprised.
"Oh really? I didn't know you—okay, what was your favorite record?"
"It's definitely gotta be wondering/wandering," I said after a moment. "It stood out to me it's been on repeat."
They smiled, and I couldn't help but mirror it. "I love that! It's one of my favorites too, I'm glad you like it."
"Hey guys, excuse me I was wondering if I could get a picture?" We both looked to the side seeing a man with his camera and the once sincere smile I had faded a bit.
"If you're cool with it," I said looking down at Kehlani and she nodded.
"Yeah of course, come on." She stood beside me and I stood a little awkwardly not knowing how to pose but they leaned into me like they'd known me for years, and I slowly raised my arm to hang loosely off their shoulders.
A little distracted by the smell of their perfume, she smelled nice, like vanilla or something, and we let the man get his pictures.
"These are great. Thanks guys." He raised his hand at us as he walked away, and I let my arm fall from their shoulders and took a deep breath.
"It was good talking to you, happy birthday again, enjoy yourself."
"Thank you, and I'll try."
"Yeah, and we definitely get in the studio sometime." They added as they did a double-take.
"For sure," I said, but whether or not that would be something that would happen was up for debate, I've had so many people mention us working together and never hear from them again, not that it ever bothered me.
She wished me happy birthday again, before she left me alone, and I went to my friends hugging Mo (Simone) seeing she had gotten here.
I stayed until they sang happy birthday to me per my friend's request, I didn't care to get any cake, I didn't like it that much.
But after that, I went home, I showered off the party and lounged in the living room, getting a text from Ali, one of my situationship asking if she could come over and I stared at the message for a minute before I responded and told her to come over.
She already had the gate code—and was one of the only ones outside my friends and family to have it, but she was my favorite so I gave her more than I did the others.
I got a text from Rudy my security asking me if I wanted her to come up and I told him to let her in, I scrolled through Instagram while I waited for her to get in here.
I liked a few posts from fans wishing me happy birthday and I checked my notifications and saw: Kehlani has started following you.
My head tilted sideways as I looked at it. Maybe she was being serious.
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