A very quick Raiders rewrite:
-Deep Cut begins by finding the map in Big Manās house, and heading to the recently-resurfaced Spirhalite Islands for profit and adventure. No āpaying off the cityās debtā backstory; Iām already tired of the writers tacking on these flimsy ājustifiableā reasons for Deep Cut to be bandits. Itās starting to feel like theyāre scared these characters wonāt be likeable unless everything they do helps to build a puppy orphanage somewhere or sthgā¦the characters are *already* likeable, the fans have made that clear for 4 years now; have some faith in your audience. T_T Itās okay for them to just *want* to be themselves, without some moral imperativeā¦
-Anyway, the tornado kicks up and crashes the helicopter as normal, and the protagonists are now castaways, living from their hideout ship and scavenging for tools on the nearby islands. They find the bot and the tanks as normal, and start finding plans and messages left behind by the āengineerā who built them, when he visited the island long agoā¦
-The protags begin raiding the islands for the valuable relics they find, fantasizing about how much theyāll be able to sell them for when they get back to Splatsville (i.e. they still get currency valuations, even if we donāt necessarily have a monetary goal to save up for. Weāre tracking potential profit here). The relics all seem to have some kind of mysterious power, likely due to the Spirhalite used in their constructionā¦and as they gather them, the Salmonids on the islands gradually become more belligerent. We make no connection between those things, thoughā itās a game; naturally itāll get tougher as you progress, right?
-Mythic Salmonids guard special complete relics, and once they are defeated, the star projectors will appear, and the bot will play music for each member of Deep Cut, as normal. Once each song is sung, a vault will open up, and the protags will be able to take the relic. Each time this happens, Salmonids from the surrounding islands will be seen processing into the sea, heading towards the island at the center of the spiral. Also, weāll see the patterns on the ominous door light up, as normal.
-The star projectors show the gleaming tower, the Salmonids processing towards the tower, and the ātreasureā rising from the base of the tower, in that order. We (the protag) wonāt know what the treasure is until laterā¦although when the ominous door lights up with the 3-headed beast pattern, we (the audience) will start to suspect that it wonāt be goodā¦
-The botās radar picks up a strong signal from the central island, and the protags are certain thatās where the big treasure is. According to the engineerās notes, it will appear if they bring the mythic relics to that location, and sing once again (in their case, as a trio). So they head to the Mess Hallā¦the journey to the bottom is as difficult as normal, but once they get to the throne room, the Salmonids stop attacking. Instead they simply stare at the protags as they make their way down the hallā¦like, I imagine it as the area being PACKED with the usual mobs, but theyāre all just idling around tracking you with their eyes and itās super creepy and unsettling. ^^ And now you (the audience) KNOW something is up, but itās a game; the only way to find out is to keep goingā¦
-The protags pass through the glowing ominous doorā as normal, they donāt really pay that much attention to it or its patterns. ^^; They make it to the āaltarā in the middle of the pool, but nothing is thereā¦just an opening to the sky, far above. So they place the mythic relics in special spots on the floor, the bot plays a special song, and Deep Cut sings together. A final star projector rises from the water, and displays the three headed beast constellationā¦and NOW, finally, they begin to realize they may have made a mistake. ^^; Particularly when a massive golden egg descends from the skylight, and starts to hatchā¦
-The Salmonarch fight can pretty much function exactly the sameā¦one thing I would add thoughā in the part of the fight where you make it back to the hideout ship, I would let you find a final letter from the engineer that you missed until now: in it, he says the thing about the locks not being able to hold much longer, and regrets coming to the island and trying to hunt down all the treasure, warning anyone who comes after him not to use the tools he created for that purpose. Is this to imply that he was the one who woke up the Salmonarch all those years ago and *caused* the huge invasion that Deep Cutās families had to fight off? Perhapsā¦ š
-So now you know (protags and audience) that this whole adventure was a reeeally bad idea, and you need to defeat the eldritch fish-god you accidentally summoned and set things right. And from there you do the final section of the boss fight with the drill attack, once again pretty much the same as the canon. Roll credits!
-As for the post-game: I would have the protags decide not to take the relics away from the islandā¦instead they opt to just take out their Spirhalite. Both items are less powerful and less valuable when separated, but this should calm the Salmonids while preventing anyone from making the same mistake they did anytime soon. ^^; And at least they wonāt have to go home empty-handed.
After this, Deep Cut and the Mechanic repeatedly return to the islands to scavenge and hunt for Spirhalite, and to locate more relics, just for the love of the game. Maybe Iād add a super-hard mode for putting each relic back where it was taken from; I think that would be a fun challenge. It would imply that any relics found post-game are being taken just for the fun of having to replace them, but I think that fits the tone of Splatoon XD
ā¦And thatās it; thatās the rewrite. Roughly, anywayā¦I donāt expect this to become like #re_rise or anything, but I have to admit that I didnāt do much research for this. ^^; That is to say, I could see myself modifying it when more info becomes readily availableā¦or not. The story is just so thin; thereās really not much to add outside of a light rework like this.
So why did I bother? This is getting into what I had planned to write during my spoiler-full review, but basicallyā I just wanted the narrative to be a bit tighter, and less vague. Lampshading that Deep Cut doesnāt know whether or not they caused the big final boss battle is not engaging; thatās the kind of thing the audience should be asking themselves until YOU, the WRITER, provide them with the answer.Ā
The question there is essentially ādo the protagonists have agency in the plotā-- why would you make an already weak story even weaker by being noncommittal about that?? Do your job and make a decision! >_<
I chose to just make it their fault (although not entirelyā¦if they had found the final letter earlier, or if the engineer had left more warnings, things might have gone differently). In the alternate universe where it definitively *wasnāt* their fault, I would want to put more emphasis on the Salmonids setting everything up in the shadows, while the protags are totally unaware. Someone needs to have agency; itās one or the other. We canāt have the entire cast of characters just watching the plot happenā¦
And speaking of the Salmonidsā my secondary goal with this rewrite was to make them less of a collective narrative punching bag. Like, in the canon story; itās supposedly okay to bother them, itās okay to steal from them, AND itās okay to punish them for reacting (?) to being bothered and stolen from. Again, since we donāt know why the Salmonarch was born at this specific moment, I canāt say definitively that it *was* a reaction, but the most obvious framing of the story suggests that interpretation. The next most likely interpretation is that the Salmonids simply lack personhood and that they only exist to be bothered, stolen from, and punished; which is even worse, so Iāll stick with the first option. ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
Anyway, at least in my version, although itās okay to punish them, itās *not* okay to steal from them, or even really to bother them (to an extent). Essentially, if youāre gonna bother them, it should just be in good fun; donāt meddle in things you donāt understand, and donāt let your greed get the better of you. Yāknow, basic kidsā media morals that the writers could easily have built this story aroundā¦like, rather than forcing literal thief characters to be āgood role modelsā, why not just use them to teach life lessons? At this point, having Deep Cut gloss over and justify their dubious actions is starting to feel kind of slimy; theyād actually be more wholesome if youād just let them admit that they do bad things occasionally, and take responsibility. Even in a jokey, flippant wayā¦I think Iād prefer it.