Fart In It A Lil’ Bit

*🕺*

[donkeydarkmagic]

Nah guys the Jedi temple lowk reeks! Imma betray my master and turn to the dark side the first chance I get dude!

[donkeydarkmagic]

Can someone curse my firstborn? I don’t have the heart to give them a miserable enough childhood to make them a good person.

[donkeydarkmagic]

When a rat climbed into my hat I was hoping for like a ratatouille type situation but instead he’s just been pulling my hair to tweet racist things about the Turks

[donkeydarkmagic]

I am woke beyond my years

[donkeydarkmagic]

Finally finished sawing my ankle off with a butter knife so the feds can’t track me to Chuck E Cheese anymore. I’m coming for the rat.

[donkeydarkmagic]

Who the fuck invented shitting? Stupid extra step between taking off my pants and jackin off

[donkeydarkmagic]

Just found out my Hooters Buddy has been coming here to ogle at the waitress and our late night conversations aren’t the only thing that’s been keeping him going all month. Yeah man, me too.

[donkeydarkmagic]

Can everyone fuck off, I’m over here on 11 BCE tumblr trying to transcribe the ancient texts with #odyssey and all I’m getting is this AI slop Percy Jackson ripoff.

[donkeydarkmagic]

What do we do when the leopards have eaten all their faces and they’re still hungry?

[startrekvsfaceapp]

[sugarkat]

Objectively

the best

of the

Star Trek

movies.

[katharkness]

The best bit of the “nuclear wessels” scene, is that Nichelle Nichols and Walter Koenig literally went out and asked passerby. Not extras; genuine strangers on the street.

[serialephemera]

I want to emphasize: in 1986, during the Cold War, they had a man with a Russian accent thick enough to walk on wander the streets asking random people about nuclear technology. I’m amazed that people were (vaguely) helpful.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

A WHOLESOME AND INSANE MOVIE :D

[krakoansam]

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

C I N E M A

[tenaciousdecapitator]

While it’s unfortunate that Frances probably won’t be returning in the new Bigtop Burger season, I do think it’s hilarious that the reason why Ayo Edebiri isn’t returning to her voice acting role as a fry cook in an intentionally terrible food truck is because she became a massively successful Golden Globe/Emmy winning actress in between Bigtop Burger seasons by co-starring as a sous chef in a show about making sandwiches as high quality as possible.

[gregorsmissingarmor]

I got a little silly

[donkeydarkmagic]

Alien that just crash landed on Earth: Georp Glorp Dink Boing Dink Rododo

Me: Ok so does that have anything to do with The Simpsons or are we just talking about your stuff now.

[donkeydarkmagic]

Microwave conversation but Ted Mosby is there:

Microwave: Mmmmmmmmmm

Ted Mosby: I'm the worst fucking person in the world.

Microwave: I hate you Ted Mosby.

[donkeydarkmagic]

Hey doc do you know what’s wrong with my head? And don’t say it’s the evergrowing purple ooze infested cyst on the side of my neck again because the ancient tablet, of which I was the first to read aloud in a thousand years, said that I’d be fine.

[donkeydarkmagic]

Top Expert: climate change is real, we’re killing our planet like we have a second one. The ramifications of our actions are irreparable.

Bottom Expert: I like to take it in the ass

[donkeydarkmagic]

Tried to Shazam the sound of my heart healing itself slowly over the years, unfortunately there’s nothing like the sound of my own growth because it is mine and mine alone.