for the first episode, [name] has decided to do something chill, trying out face masks and different snacks! and what better guest to invite than ✨tomorrow x together’s #choi yeonjun and #huening kai !✨
[name] understands a decent amount of korean, and can also speak it, though she still feels more confident in english and her native language.
masterlist
——————
[name] has never been one to openly go up to people and talk to them. she generally has never been someone who talked a lot, even after being one of the few successful youtubers and content creators internationally.
it is not like she had any speech difficulties or an anxiety disorder, she simply liked to stay in her own space, quietly watching her friends and others around her.
so, when she was invited to korea to be the host of a new youtube channel, she tried to think of reasons to decline. it wasn’t because she didn’t know anything about korea and k-pop - quite the opposite, actually. she grew up with her korean neighbors, grew up with k-pop videos and songs and even the food, all thanks to her colorful neighborhood and unsupervised internet access. but, actually staying there for months to film with strangers in front of a crew she has yet to meet properly?
yeah, no.
the reasons to decline came out pouring down without any difficulty.
well, how can she now explain why she is sitting on a stool, getting her make up touched up by one of the few successful make up artists in korea, someone who has worked with many idols and other celebrities?
well, to put simply - [name] sucks at saying no. not that she is some kind of people pleaser, but missing out on such opportunity simply didn’t sit right with her [cousin].
she remembers whining to her best friend, and cousin, about it,
“i don’t even know what to do in front of a camera! and now i am supposed to stand there for others to see?”
she was met with a deadpan look, which made her realize how stupid she sounded, but the spirit to decline was there, she swears.
said cousin is also standing in the room [name] is getting ready in, acting as some kind of manager who explains the small details to her, eyebrows drawn together, focusing the ipad she has gotten for her new manager role [no one asked her to take].
“how much do you know about the group?”
her cousin glances up to watch [name] sitting still in the stool, eyes closed as the artist tries their best to cover her dark circles.
“eh,” [name] gently shrugs, trying to hold still as much as she can, “back then they were called bts’ younger brothers. but they got good music, and soobin’s weird.”, she adds, humming one of their songs gently now that she is reminded of the group she is about to meet. “i like weird.”
“will the entire group be here?” [name] asks, her stomach dropping at the thought that she might have to deal with five men at once.
her cousin walks up to stand beside [name], the sound of her nails tapping on the display louder than before, “nope,” she plops the p, “just choi yeonjun and huening kai, you wanted a chill episode.”
“and yeonjun’s supposed to be chill?”
“if the shoe fits.” her cousin giggles, standing now in front of [name] as the make up artist has finished the final touch ups.
“you actually look like an adult.”
“ugh,” [name] whines, slumping in her seat, “can i for once not be the bullied?”
“no, get up, we gotta do some mic check.”
and that is how she ended up standing in front of a camera, her crew members sitting behind it and her cousin giving her one last prep talk before they invite the idols in.
“wait! what do you mean, ‘invite them in’? am i not supposed to meet them first?! without the camera?”
“no, be quiet i’m trying to get a cute behind the scenes pic.”
[name] could hear the poorly hidden laughs from her team, glaring at them over her cousins shoulder. her eyes start to sting because of the concealer [what was even the point of putting on makeup if they are going to use sheet masks?], and her chest feels as if someone has placed a stone on top of it, even though the black long sleeve top she is wearing was anything but tight. everyone one else around her is relaxed, being already used to the scheme of working with idols, and [name] simply couldn’t find the strength to calm her nerves.
it is as if her nervous system has just understood that she won’t be talking to a camera in the safety of her own four walls. instead, she will be hosting a whole new show with strangers every week, filming in a country that she is not too familiar with and with people whose language she does not completely understand.
should she-
“i swear to god, stop thinking weird stuff. your thinking-face makes me want to puke.”
[name] yells out her cousins name, not believing what she is hearing, “you are supposed to back me! not make me feel stupid.”
her cousin sighs, placing her [surprisingly gentle] hand on [name]s shoulder, “listen, bub. you have been doing this since you discovered that youtube might be the chance for you to marry jeongguk-“
“-i was sixteen and had unsupervised internet access!” [name] cuts in, scoffing as her cousn continues,
“you are the doer. and no one can outdo the doer. be yourself, the same self that is kind , and weird, and does weird noises, and sometimes scares off the people around her with-“
“-excuse me?”
“-but that same self that has already captured millions of hearts! do you actually think you would have gotten this request if it wasn’t for how popular you already are?” her cousin finishes, squeezing her shoulder in reassurance.
“maybe they just needed a clown?” [name] shrugs, feeling her heart slamming against her rips. should she just make a run for it?
rolling her eyes, [name]s cousin starts to move to stand with the rest of the crew behind the camera, deciding against commenting on [name]s words.
———
“okay, three, two, one - action!” the camera man shouts, nodding once to give [name] the final signal to start.
“hey guys!” [name] starts with her usual greeting, her mind entering the autopilot state, suddenly blending out all the other people standing behind the camera and the shuffling,
“as you can see, this,” she gestures around, pointing at the cozy setup of two sofas, a coffee table with various sheet masks and drinks placed on top, and fluffy pillows and blankets all over the place, “is not my usual setup. as you know, i like to try new stuff for and with you guys, and even though this time this idea did not come from from one of your comments,” she takes a moment to chuckle, her hand brushing a non existent strand of hair off her forehead, “i still would like to take you guys with me on this extraordinary journey!”
“cut!” yells one of the staff, getting up to pluck something off her top, “great job! just introduce whom you will be with and your plans, we will give them the cue to enter.” they explain, as [name] nods, her eyes focused on the camera as she sips on her iced latte.
“okay, three, two, one - action!”
[name] takes a deep breath, smile already on her soft lips, “and obviously, i won’t bore you on this self care day with only myself,” she places her hands on her hips and jokingly rolls her eyes, the usual familiarity of talking to an audience that is not present growing, “today, i will be accompanied by two very talented, very cool, and fu- uh, i mean really tall people! make some noise for tomorrow by together’s
choi yeonjun!”
the crew starts to cheer as yeonjun walks out behind the beige curtains from the side of the room, shy smile stretching his lips as he waves at everyone and the camera, before he comes to a halt next to [name], bowing gently, which [name] copies as she turns back to the camera,
“and huening kai!” [name] finishes, turning to watch the man walk put, bowing to everyone in the room and towards the camera, only ever stopping when he stands on the other side of her body, bowing to [name] one last time.
“cut!”
[name] immediately feels her shoulders harden as she lets out a shaky breath, eyes switching between the two men she stands between in, “hello,” she greets them once more, bowing her head to show some respect, “my name’s [name], thank you for being part of our first episode.”
they bow back to her, not flinching back when staff members come up to them to do something with their hair or clothes.
“i once saw a meme of you crying and sliding down the wall while you held a slice of toast!” yeonjun says, voice wrapped with excitement, “one of my favorite memes.”
[name] cringes at the thought of that moment being the one that they know of her, though she still thanks him quietly.
“glad i could make you laugh, i guess.”
she feels the heat crawling up her back up to her ears, her eyes dancing around the two men in hopes to find a way to make her look less stupid, awkward, weird, helpless-
“my english is good,” suddenly huening kai speaks up, his gentle voice soothing the tension, “but i sometimes feel uneasy.”
[name]s eyes light up, “i understand korean to a certain point! i grew up in an mixed asian neighborhood! fee free to talk however you like.”
yeonjun copies her kind smile, suddenly feeling mischievous, “so~ how old are you?”
“i will be referring to you in a respectful manner in the English language, thank you.”
“aw, man.”
———
“okay!” [name] claps once, now sitting on one sofa opposite to yeonjun and huening kai, excitement pumping through her veins, “now that we have introduced ourselves and found our place on the couch, shall we begin with the masks?” she turns to look at the two guys, one [kai] more cheerful than the other [yeonjun].
“i guess…” yeonjun answers, leaning forward to look at the different sheet masks, “why is this one a unicorn?”
[name] gasps, snatching the unicorn mask away from his eyes, “this one is only for those who know ball.”
huening kai claps as he laughs, elbowing a pouty yeonjun.
“can i have that?” he kindly asks, voice dripping with honey.
nodding, she hands over the unicorn mask and moves to grab the tiger one, “i wanted that one!” yeonjun protests, hand following hers.
forgetting that she is supposed to be the kind and generous host, [name] pokes out her tongue, mockingly laughing at him.
“you snooze you lose or whatever.”
“you’re whatever-“
“okay!” huening kai cuts in, turning towards the camera, the crew behind trying their best to keep quiet, “now we will be applying the masks everyone~”
that quickly shut the two bickering parties up, a pretentious smile now on [name]s lips while yeonjun clears throat, taking a bear mask off the table, “i guess that one is okay.”
they all quiet down, eyes focusing on the mask at their hands until one of the staff members speaks up, “[name], don’t forget to explain what you’re doing.”
“oh!” her eyes widen as she looks at the camera, sheepishly staring at her cousin once who only facepalms, “so, we will first put on the masks, i also got some headbands-“ she turns to look at the guys, “and afterwards we got hot girl drinks and question games!”
after having their headbands [for [name] it is one with cat ears, which she head to pry from yeonjuns strong grip, while the two guys had rabbit headbands] and sheet masks on their heads, [name] slowly moves towards the mini refrigerator next to her sofa, taking out several drinks to share with the guys.
“oh! i love bongbong!” huening kai says, taking it from her hands. yeonjun settles for an iced tea, humming as he leans back.
“now this is what i call relaxing and working.”
[name] takes out a card game given to her by a staff, shuffling through the cards while reading some questions, “okay, this will be good.”
she clears her throat and sips once from her latte, smirking as she reads one of the questions, “okay, kai~”
“[name]~”
“what is the weirdest thing you have ever eaten?”
“i don’t really think that i have-“
yeonjun sits up, “he once ate crocodile, on accident tho-“
“yah! are you huening kai?” kai shoves his shoulder, loud laughter escaping his mouth.
“oh-“ [name] speaks up, quickly halts as she watches the two men shove each other on the sofa.
“my mask!” kai exclaims, pushing yeonjun away who apologizes to the staff, his hands working to keep his sheet mask on his face.
“uhm, why not apologize to me?” [name] asks, giggling as she watches yeonjun mock her with a teasing voice.
kai speaks up again, “nothing, really. i try to eat the usual stuff, and sometimes when we diet i also stay with one food group.”
“okay! next question for you-“
“-what about me?!” yeonjun interrupts loudly, eyes widen and hand on his chest to show the betrayal he is met with.
“haters don’t deserve questions.” [name] answers, straightening her back and crossing her legs with an attitude.
yeonjun laughs loudly, “i will tell your manager!”
[name] points to her cousin sitting on the floor, who looks at them with amusement, “that’s her, obviously she is on my side!”
“manager, please do something about her attitude!” yeonjun pleads, hands put together, emphasizing his wish.
“i’ll make her do the dishes later.”
“ha! wait wha-“
“cut! five minutes.” [name] is once again vut off, the camera still filming her shocked face as she watches her cousin get up to talk with one of the make up artists.
she scoffs and gets up to dispose of her sheet mask, holding the bin towards a smirking yeonjun and huening kai who follow her movements.
“do you at least feel refreshed and bonita?”
yeonjun hums, “i feel amazing, actually. it’s nice to be right.”
huening kai laughs at his friends words, clapping into his hands, “we won’t be ever invited again.”
placing her hands on her hips, [name] tries to look intimidating, “you are aware that you have to be kind to the host you just met! i was told that you guys would be kind and shy!”
“we are shy!”
“yeah,” yeonjun agrees, nodding his head he elbows kai gently, “beomgyu, who is also in our group, would be louder!”
“i know you guys,” [name] can’t explain why, but it seems like that she know realizes that she is talking to two actual k-pop singers whom she used to follow, “i followed you during your debut era.”
huening kai groans, “i was so small then!”
[name] laughs as she listens to the two members talk about how horrible they looked during their debut days compared to today, falling into a comfortable conversation.
moving to the sofas once more, the three of them settle into their previous places, conversation still flowing as their make up is getting touched up.
“well, yeah. i mean, i am kinda used to working on my own, so it was scary and unusual before you guys showed up,” [name] explains, head straight as the make up brush dances on her cheek, “but i guess you two being chill and just talking to me helps, also my cousin being here.”
“your cousin?”
yeonjun turns to look at the staff, eyes lighting up, “ah! your manager is your cousin!”
huening kai also makes a sound of acknowledgment, nodding as he continues to listen to [name] speak, drink in hand.
“yeah. i watned to decline this offer but she told me that it would be a great opportunity. ‘m glad i listened.” [name] laughs, looking down at her hands, a sudden shyness washing over her.
the three don’t even notice the camera rolling again, the team wanting to capture the genuine conversation happening in front of them.
and for the first time in the past week, [name] feels all the tension, all the worries and doubts leave her muscles, her jaw not clenching every now and then, her posture straight but relaxed, her eyebrows, usually unintentionally drawn together, ease up. maybe staying here and talking to new, especially famous people, wouldn’t be that hard.
“well, we already knew you, thats why we accepted.” huening kai confesses, scratching the back of his neck, hair falling over his eyes, “we are actually preparing for a new comeback, yeah.” he nods, looking at yeonjun who smiles at him gently.
“oh! that’s cool! when will it be?”
“ah!” yeonjun shouts out, making [name] and kai flinch back. “so you are a paparazzi!”
her head falls back as [name] groans at his comment, picking a stray plastic straw off the table to throw it at him, “shut it! i was just curious!”
kai leans forward, his arm holding off his group member from getting up to do god knows what, “anyway! do you like korea, [name]ie?”
you smile at his kind attempt to cool you off, leaning back, “well, even though i was told a lot about it i still struggle to believe that i am here and, well, y’know, now working with idols or whatever. like, its weird.”
“working here?” yeonjun grabs aome chips from the bowl, gaze focusing on the talkshow host.
“i guess?” [name] hums as she think about how to speak out her mind, “it is just- ah. like. i have been working as a youtuber for so long, y’know? i met so many supporters! but it has always been me, and well, sometimes my cousin.” she shrugs, suddenly wanting to end the conversation here.
thinking about it, [name] really has a lot to catch up on emotionally. even though she has not left home for good, knowing that she will be spending an immense amount of time in a foreign country, surrounded by a language and people that she is not all too familiar with, it does seem more than she anticipated.
“you’re doing well, though.” shifting in his seat, yeonjun pulls his knees to his chest, getting comfortable on the sofa, “i know for example kai here-“
“-why am i always-“
“-had loads of issues when we first started. we all did. and you have been in this game longer, kinda. you’re kind, i actually want to stay here for a long time.”
hearing his words warms [name]s chest, she doesn’t know how to respond to his kind words, choosing instead to thank him quietly, a shy smile dancing on her lips.
kai raises his hand slightly, “we should definitely call the others! soobin always uses that one meme of you where you randomly fall from your chair-“
“-can y’all stop using my memes-“
“-they would love to meet you, i know it!”
[name] rolls her eyes, a quiet laugh leaving her lips, “i’m glad you guys find me amusing. i was 17 then, by the way, no need to bully a minor.”
“nuh uh,” yeonjun raises his pointer finger, as if to shush her, “we appreciate you. you’re a legend, man.”
“thanks, man.”
“how come you understand korean?” huening kai suddenly asks, head tilted.
“eh,” [name] nods to her cousin, “our neighbors are korean, and they always wanted to have daughters, only ever had sons. so whenever they had the chance, they’d invite us over and feed us or gibe us presents. korean vocalizations are similar to our native language, understanding it is easy.” [name] explains, voice light at the fond memories playing in her mind.
“but you don’t speak?”
shaking her head, she looks at her cousin in question, “do you?”
her cousin nods, voice soft, “more than before, but. yeah.”
“ah.” yeonjun and huening kai say in unison, clapping quietly, “languages are always good.” yeonjun adds, throwing a thumbs up.
and that is how the rest of the evening plays out, comfortably sitting on the sofas, eating snacks and getting to know each other. at one point, the crew has enough footage to stop filming, granting the others to get up and join in on the conversation as well.
it is only when the group members really have to move on to the next appointment on their schedule when they slowly get up to get ready. yeonjun even made [name] give them cards to sign and hang up on the walls for the following shows, bickering never ceasing.
“we won’t always film here, y’know?” she says, watching them pin the signed cards on the soft board on the wall behind the sofas.
“still! we are first!” kai laughes, offering her a high five which she gladly accepts, “thank you, i had a lot fun.”
[name] grins at his comment, accepting yeonjuns high five as well, “i should thank you guys. this was my first day and you made it amazing!”
scoffing, yeonjun releases a confident laugh, “of course, we are tomorrow by together,” he turns to wink at the camera, blowing it a kiss, “stay tuned.”
“camera’s off.” [name] deadpans, not even reacting anymore.
she follows them to the door of the building, holding quiet conversations until they leave, their hands waving up until the van doors close she can’t catch a glimpse of their figures.
sighing, she walks back to the studio, mind for once completely blank as she reminisces the past few hours.
if this is what this talk show has to offer, then she truly is glad that her cousin bullied her until she agreed, moments like these making it more than worth it.
—————————
episode 1 ✨done✨
stay tuned for the new episode next week!
💕highlights of today’s episode are💕
yeonjun laughing so hard, some of his drink came out of his nose! he had to beg for the camera team to delete the clip entirely.
huening kais dolphin laugh when [name] and yeonjun continued to bicker, totally disregarding the camera and everyone else in the room.
[name]s cousin faceplaming multiple times over the course of the filming process, not believing that her cousin actually built a following with that mimicry whenever she talks.
yeonjun moving wat too close to the camera to show the glow on his skin after taking off the sheet masks, becoming the beauty influencer the community deserves.
getting to know that weird guy that seems to like whatever you do shouldn't be this complicated, right?
wc: ~10k
masterlist
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you hate it.
it’s the way the rain soaks through your dirty converse shoes, leaving your socks wet and your feet cold. the way you still have five minutes to go and no one to pick you up and save you from this misery.
you hate everything about this, though can’t you help yourself and continue to move on. if it means your best friend of 10 years will be happy, you’d even swim through a frozen ocean.
maybe it is time for you to invest into a new pair of your everyday converse - in black, never in white. then, you wouldn’t mind walking through the rain, hiding your gift under your worn leather jacket, cheeks stinging from the cold wind nibbling at them.
your eyes move up the wall of the apartment building your best friend lives in, two of the four windows glowing from inside. she has told you before that most of the residents would be out for the weekend, granting her the opportunity to celebrate her birthday. this also means that it will be loud, no need to worry about the police knocking at the door.
you feel the bass vibrating through your body as you climb up the stairs, mixed with laughter and the sound of sneakers scratching along the floor.
what happened to the no shoes inside rule?
exhaling gently through your nose, you look down as you take out the gift from your jacket, glad that the wrapping paper seems to be dry entirely. all there is left to do is ring the bell or knock on the door, just as you always do.
though, something makes you hesitate, your lower lip stuck between your teeth, shoulders tensing as you continue to listen to the music merging from the other side.
your feet sting from the cold rain that soaked through. you hate it.
“aren’t you supposed to ring the bell?” a deep voice asks from behind you, pulling a small gasp from your throat.
you turn your head towards the guy, dressed in black. his blond hair spills from the sides of his beanie, his eyes gentle and looking directly at you.
you turn back towards the door, “yeah.”
raising your cold hand, you push the doorbell, sighing as your fingers sting slightly.
the two of you stand there, waiting [hoping] for someone to open the door, and freeing you from this awkward silence.
you hear the guy from behind you inhale, getting ready to talk to you again as the door suddenly swings open, revealing your best friend with a certain glow on her face.
“babe!” she throws her arms out to hug you, her voice echoing through the hallway.
you chuckle, trying to dodge her grappy hands, “‘m soaked through, don’t want you to get wet.”
you follow her inside as she steps away, turning to greet the guy behind you who wishes her a happy birthday in that same gentle tone from before.
your eyes shift towards the open living room filled with many faces you have yet to meet, all of them in their own bubble, laughing, talking, some even dancing around. you only ever look away when you feel blond guy walk over to the living room, his scent leaving a trail behind him.
dolce&gabbana, the one.
“why didn’t you tell me that it was pouring outside?” your best friends concerned eyes meet yours, hands resting on your shoulders.
you shrug, pushing your present towards her, “what would have changed?”
“i’d pick you up, or whatever.”
“and abandon the party?”
taking the gift from your hands, wonhee moves to place it at the small table next to the door, “i still don’t understand why you didn’t sleep here yesterday, anyway. you always do.”
wetting your lips quickly, you straighten your back, “uh, yeah. james wanted to meet.”
wonhees eyes light up, “oh! is he coming later?”
“we broke up.”
both of you stand there, looking at the other in silence. you gently rock on the heels of your feet, hands stuffed into your pockets.
you chuckle at how wonhee opens and closes her mouth, as if wanting to grasp the right words to say, her eyebrows raised.
“babe, i-“
“‘t’s fine, promise.”
and it really is, if you are being honest. sure, it sucks that he broke up with you and went to a party right afterwards, but what could you have possibly done?
wonhee shakes off her initial shock and takes a step closer to you, clearing her throat, “do you want me to, uh, i don’t know, like, we can- maybe go talk?”
drawing in your brows, you scoff at her cute attempt to be there for you, “what? won, it’s literally your party? let’s go, have some fun and stuff.”
“and stuff?” she repeats, shaking her head.
you shrug off your jacket and lay it down onto the table, moving towards the kitchen to wash your hands. wonhee follows you, preparing a paper towel for you ti dry your hands with.
you nod, “yeah, stuff! won, i saw it coming, i was prepared.” you tell her, throwing the paper towel into the bin, “i shouldn’t have told you here, ‘m sorry.”
“shut the fuck up, you better tell me everything!” she slaps your shoulder, eyes wide in disbelief, “what the fuck? like, out of nowhere?”
you groan, “ugh, i guess? it’s whatever, lets talk when everyone’s gone.”
wonhee nods, though her eyes tell you that she won’t be letting you off that easily. the two of you enter the crowded living room, people immediately beginning to walk up to wonhee.
you smile and introduce yourself to some of them, though you can feel the tension creeping up your back, your wet socks making you shiver. you bite back your discomfort and reply to some of the questions directed at you, laughing and joking about whatever topic the others talk about.
whenever you could, you looked around the room to check who else you might know, hoping to find a way to move to a quiet corner, maybe get the chance to calm yourself down.
“hey, babe.” a familiar voice speaks down into your ear, hot air fanning your neck.
you head spins to look at the person, his beanie gone, revealing his [oddly purposefully] messy hair, his pink lips stretched to a grin, as if he knew something you don’t.
you take a step back, “that’s not my name.” you look back to the group, all of them engaging with each other, no one noticing that you aren’t there anymore.
“that’s what won called you, though.” blonde guy nods to your best friend, hands shoved into the pockets of his black pants.
his parfum slowly circles around your space, gentle, warm, familiar.
“yeah, she’s my friend.”
“what’s your name then?”
you tell him your name, gulping as he tests it himself as if he is savoring some expensive wine, his plush lips making the bottom of your cold feet tingle.
what is his deal?
“i think i’ll go with babe, i like it.” he leans down, chuckling as you scoff at his words.
“i don’t remember giving you the permission to do so?” you roll your eyes, arms crossed in front of your chest, “how about you introduce yourself first?”
“oh, so you’re curious?”
you cringe, sigh escaping your moth at this poor flirting attempt, if you could call this flirting at all, “no, but calling you blonde guy all the time seems rather annoying, y’know.”
“i don’t mind, but if that’s what you want, babe,” you find yourself following his lead as he slowly steps away from the group next to you, walking towards the kitchen, “‘m heeseung. wonhee and i go to the same gym.”
“the uni gym?” you find yourself asking before you can hold back.
ugh, so much for wanting to be nonchalant.
heeseung nods, opening the fridge to take put two cans of whatever soda he could find, handing you one, “yeah, ‘m a third year. we help the new ones.”
“cool.”
you take a sip from the frizzy drink, eyes looking around the familiar kitchen. having a gossip session here later when everyone leaves will be amazing, you can already feel it in your veins.
“you?” his soft voice lulls you out of your thoughts, big brown eyes directed at you, “you guys are, what do girls say, besties?”
you pull your lips into a straight line, “yeah. since kindergarten.”
“cool.”
you move to speak up, any excuse you could muster up to end the conversation and move back to the living room, though heeseung is faster, almost eager in the way he leans back against the counter.
“i saw you a few times, when you came to pick her up. you a biology major?”
he shifts in his place, hands behind him at first, than back to holding the can in front of him, fiddling with the clasp.
your eyes widen slightly, “yeah, how’d you know?”
he clears his throat, tilting his head as his eyes look down at the can in his hands, a [surprisingly] soft strand of his dyed hair covering his forehead.
“saw you talking to jake a few times, bio is his second major.”
you raise an eyebrow in surprise, “what a small world.”
“yeah.”
“yeah.”
someone come and save you from this weird conversation, please. you have no idea what heeseung wanted when he approached you first, though you wish to go back to wonhee and find comfort in her presence.
you turn to place the soda can onto the kitchen table, not in the mood to drink any ore than you have to. even though you have told wonhee that you saw the break up coming, you still find yourself thinking about it all, the way the words spilled from his lips so mercilessly, as if he didn’t grieve the loss of your presence at all. and standing here in a dimly lit kitchen with an [annoyingly] attractive guy does not help at all. back then, you would have not a conversation with a guy such as heeseung at all, loyal to a fault to your lover. you guess you still need some time to get used to it all, get used to being free to do whatever you wanted without any doubt.
“i,” you speak up, mind in a haze, “i’ll go and see what wonhee’s up to. i- i guess i’ll see you around?” you shoot him a small smile, hopeful that be understands before you leave the kitchen. there is no reason for you to wait for him to reply, you have to find a calm corner and calm down.
you really want to change your socks, you think to yourself, back now leaning against the cold wall opposite to where wonhee was standing with another group of people you don’t care about.
the red light, the laughter, the heavy buss flying around the room, it all zooms in to you, air sticky and salty a way you can’t quite explain.
james would have loved it, taking your hand to drag you over to the beer pong table, or maybe over to his guys, as he would call them.
you don’t miss him, not really.
this pit in your stomach is because of the loss of your usual routine, your familiarity.
you are used to hanging out with james and his guys, are used to text him every now and then when he was somewhere else. you always wake up to his text and go to sleep with the thought of him.
so, what now? do you have to create a whole mew routine now?
you hate it.
your eyes dart to wonhee as you hear her loud laugh booming over the other noises, lips stretching to a smile as you watch her throw her head back, her whole being shaking as she laughs at something you probably would not find funny at all.
fuck james.
you’ll create a new routine, get your groove back. why should you waver because of something so minor?
nodding to yourself, you push yourself of the wall, determination beating through your veins.
———————————
“what a fucking loser,” wonhee yawns, stretching her arms above her head in hopes to shake her tiredness out of her, “so he just broke up with you and went to kiss everyone at that party?”
you look down at the video playing on your phone, the smell of black coffee in the cup next to you sobering you up, “apparently.”
this is not what you expected to see when you woke up to wonhee clinging to your side this morning. it was the restless vibration of your phone against the nightstand that pulled you out of your dreamless slumber, a heavy sigh leaving your nose.
wonhee takes a seat next to you, her head tilts to look at your phone laying on the table. she hums, taking a sip from your coffee.
“ugh,” she gags, turning her head away, “no sugar.”
you close your eyes as you throw your head back, biting back a groan, “guess he broke up with me mentally, like, some time ago.”
“tch,” your best friend shakes her head, hand running through her straight hair, “he was always weird, and you knew it.”
“he was easy, though.” you look up the ceiling, thinking about the many things that you liked about your ex-boyfriend.
besides his good looks, he was pretty easy to handle, never made you say something twice, and was a great guy in general. well, most of the time. wonhee would disagree with you, telling you over and over again that she got this weird vibe off of him.
she must have been right, you think now.
you get up to start preparing a light breakfast, the tiredness from yesterdays party pulling at your muscles.
who cares, it’s all in the past anyway.
you hear wonhee shift in her seat, her voice light as she speaks up after a while, “‘t’s just, like, it came out of nowhere? didn’t you guys plan to go to visit his family next month?”
you hum in agreement, “he also wanted to move in together some day.”
it’s quite for a second, then you two speak up simultaneously, “men.”
your best friend groans, a gentle thud echoes through the room as she rests her head against the kitchen table, “babe, what the fuck.” she looks at you as you set down two plates with avocado toast, no emotion visible on your face.
“are you really okay, though?”
you think for a moment, “i don’t know. i guess i, well, maybe it still has to settle in? i mean, well, yeah.”
you quietly curse at yourself your not speaking properly, frustration pulling your words from your mouth, “he’s a loser. whatever.”
“no, for real!” wonhee is quick to agree, “we’ll try to forget about him, i mean- kissing four girls right after breaking up with your long-term girlfriend? really?”
you nod, looking down at the paused video one last time before you delete it, not in the mood to be reminded of such event again.
and this is what wonhee and you decide to do the following weeks; getting into a new routine, ridding yourself from all the reminders left by your ex-boyfriend, going so far to deleting his number from your phone even. it stings, you must admit, losing your favorite person all of a sudden and not being able to do anything about it. james never contacts you after the break up, and before you can tell, an entire month passes.
you don’t know how to grieve it, if you are being honest. do you even have the right to do so? you feel okay, you guess, you don’t cry whenever someone mentions his name in passing, don’t fall into panic when you find one of his forgotten hoodies in your wardrobe or whatever. though you fall back into habits that automatically include him; you buy stuff from the grocery store you usually wouldn’t eat, cook way more than a single person should eat for one meal, leave a spot on your shoe shelf for him, and much more than you realize.
this is why you hate changing your routine, hate having to adjust yourself to things you did not decide for yourself.
you carry the lunchbox in your right hand as the other pushes the heavy gym door open, the sound of sneaker squeaking against the polished gym floors bouncing off the walls. you should wait herein the hallway, no need for you to enter the gym and disturb your friend during her class.
“babe?” you hear a familiar voice behind you, a groan leaving you as you turn around.
“you know what my name is, heeseung.” you don’t bother to greet him properly, eyes lazily mustering up his figure.
you didn’t notice back then as he wore black, oversized clothes, but heeseung has a nice build, you must admit. his strong neck running into his broad shoulders, his arms muscular and his chest proud.
fuck men, honestly.
“and you know that i don’t care.”
“do i?”
“well,” he flashes you a cheeky grin, “you do now.”
“okay.”
he nods to the lunchbox you are holding, “here for won?”
“mhm, made too much, didn’t want to throw it away.”
heeseung walks past you towards the open door, his hand gesturing for you to follow him inside.
you hesitate, “don’t have gym shoes.”
he chuckles, looking into your eyes in this alluring, confident way that makes your ears ring, “we aren’t in highschool anymore, babe.”
“stop calling me-“
“i can’t hear you!” he yells over his shoulder, already moving to the mirror your best friend standa in front of, stretching her upper body while talking to some person you have never seem before.
you take one last breath as you enter the gymnasium, eyes darting around, hoping to stay out of any trouble. the last time you entered a gymnasium, someone threw a ball against your head, leaving you with a red print for the rest f the week, an experience you are not too eager to repeat.
you hear wonhee call out your name excitedly, her eyes shining as she walks to meet you halfway.
“‘seung said you brought me food?”
you smile at your friend, “yeah, made too much, since, y’know” you shrug, hoping to come off as unbothered [you desperately hope you do].
wonhee takes the lunchbox out of your hand and moves to a bench at the wall, hands already moving to move a piece of the bimbap towards her mouth.
heeseung comes to stand next to you, the warmth of his body tickling your arm, “nothing for me?”
you look into his eyes, deadpan, “no. only the ones i like.”
you blink at him as he flashes you his pearly whites, eyes disappearing behind his smile, “you could like me, y’know. just gotta give me a chance.”
“and then what?”
“babe,” he [fucking] whines, “you have no idea how fun i can be, right-“ he turns to your best friend who is occupied with shoving her face into the lunchbox, “wonhee? tell her how fun i can be!”
wonhee snorts, shaking her head, “yeah, real fun in the time out corner coach designated for you only.”
you giggle at your friends comment, ignoring the way heeseungs head snaps back to you. you walk to sit next to her on the bench, kegs stretched out in front of you.
“when are you done?”
“have an hour left, coach said we’re gonna play some basketball.”
you nod, looking around the gymnasium to see different kinds of sports being performed all at the same time. you also watch heeseung approach the basketball court, shouting something to the guys that are already playing a match.
one of them passes the ball to him, and they begin a new match. you listen to wonhee as she explains the different rules to you, her voice laced with excitement that you knew all too well, as the two of you follow heeseung who dribbles past two other guys.
“oh,” wonhee flinches, “that’s a foul.”
you turn back to look at heeseung who now stands a fee meters away from the basket, ball in hand. his head turns to look at you, pointer finger stretched out towards you, “this one’s for you, babe!” his voice booms across the gym.
sinking in your seat in hopes to dissolve into thin air, you can’t help but watch him as he bounces the ball a few times before lifting it to throw it towards the basket.
without noticing, you hold your breath, and it feels as if time slows down as your eye follow the ball that- bounces off the basket?
next to you, wonhee bends over, laughing ao loud that everyone else seems to stop what they are doing to look at you two, and you, for some reason, look down at your hands, biting your lips to prevent yourself from following your best duends actuons.
the guys on the court laugh at heeseung as well, though he doesn’t seem to mind, hand scratching the back of his neck as he looks back to you, sheepishly grinning at you and wonhee.
“what a loser,” wonhee finally calms down and wipes away a stray tear from her cheek, “i love whatever is wrong with him.”
“well, he must be having the time of his life, i guess?” you try to be polite, but you cant help but bite you lower lip to stop your self from laughing at the situation from earlier.
the way he looked so cocky, smirking at you before he threw the ball.
yeah, you would never let him live that one down.
wonhee scoffs, “by time of his life, do you mean him embarrassing himself in front of his crush?”
that makes you halt.
“crush?” you try to keep your voice calm, not wanting to show that her words affect you in any way.
she nods, bumping her shoulder with yours, “babe, heeseung calls you ‘babe’, i guess the reason is pretty obvious.”
you roll her eyes, bumping her back, “no, he does so because you call me babe all the time. he’s just annoying.”
“hee’s” wonhee wiggles her eyebrows, laughing at your face painted in disbelief.
“he’s, as in he is. you know, like, two words?”
“yeah, sure. whatever you say.”
“what is that supposed to mean?”
“it means,” she sits up, empty lunchbox balancing on her thighs, “that it would be cute, you and him, like, a thing.”
“a thing?” you echo, scoffing, “i just got out of a relationship, remember?”
“yeah? with a total loser.”
“you never said that before the break up.”
“‘m pretty sure i did, actually-“
“ladies.” wonhee and you look up at heeseung who now stands in front of you, the redness on his cheeks and ears now more noticeable than before, “coach wants to start in five.”
nodding, you get off the bench and take the lunchbox back, “i’ll see you at four?”
your friend nods, stretching her arms, “i’ll see you then, babe.”
your eyes meet heeseungs one last time as you nod to him as well, your legs moving fast together out of the gym as soon as possible.
you hate it.
——————————————
“what are you doing here?”
When you first heard the doorbell, you jumped out of your chair, happy to spend some time with your best friend and to debrief about your current situation even more.
What you did not expect, however, is to be standing in front of heeseung, greeting you with a handsome smile and his parfum pulling you into a gentle hug.
Familiar.
“that is not how you greet guests!” wonhee scolds you, already stepping inside your flat, her shoes placed next to yours on the floor.
“yeah! I thought you liked me!” a new voice, jake, speaks up from behind heeseung, his head peeking from the side.
You roll our eyes, “you, I actually know and like,” your eyes shift to look at the other guy, “it’s him I don’t know.”
The fake blonde shrugs, his smile never ceasing as he takes a step forward to enter your home, not caring whether he was invited in or not.
“well, babe-”
Jake turns to look at wonhee, “babe?”
Your friend shrugs.
“-you now have the chance to get to know me!” he leans down a bit, head tilting and eyes staring directly into yours, before he straightens his back and takes a look around your flat.
You groan, “won,” your hand closes around your friends arm, “what are men doing in my home?”
Throwing her head back at your misery, wonhee can’t help but let the laughs spill from her mouth, “jake said that he needed some stuff for the presentation, I told him to tag along.”
Your eyes widen, “right!” you turn to look at your partner, “I finished all the readings and wrote down which notes to add.”
jake winks at you, “you are the very best, thanks.”
He licks his lips as if wanting to continue, though is jake shoved away by his very own friend, who shows not a bit of shame.
“anyway,” heeseung shoots a quick glare to jake who complains about his friend under his breath, something along the lines that men used to go to war or whatever.
Ugh.
“yes?” you turn to look at him once and then move to walk towards your kitchen table turned desk, your laptop and different papers filling up the space.
Heeseung follows, “what are you working on?”
Your eyes scan through the different papers in practiced ease, picking up the ones you plan to give jake, “presentation, and my thesis.” You are too polite to ignore him [is what you wish to believe].
“cool.”
“yeah.”
You move back to the couch in your living room, wonhee and jake sitting there comfortably, talking about god knows what.
“here,” you hand him the papers, “just tell me what part you want to present, I’ll handle the rest.”
“thanks, man!” jake looks through the content, leaning back in his seat, “we can leave the-“
“say, babe,” heeseung cuts off his friend, “what is your thesis about?”
You hear jake behind you groan, and wonhee laughing at him, as if it is the most natural thing in the entire world. As if this has always been part of your routine, something that would never change.
You clear your throat and answer his question, moving to sit at the other sofa next to the others. Heeseung copies you, the cushion dipping to adjust to his weight.
“so,” he clears his throat, “heard you and james broke up.”
“dude!”
“yo, man, what the fuck?”
You sigh to yourself, amused but also tired. Even though you have just met heeseung, you can tell that he does not have any ill intention, he might be just curious for all you know.
Familiar.
You nod, interrupting the train of hate from your friends directed at the blonde, “yeah, he broke up, actually.”
“what a loser.”
“no, for real!” wonhee agrees, turning to jake [who gasped louder than any of your friends when they first heard the news] to give him the details.
You blend their voices out, looking back to heeseung who not even once looked away, “it’s whatever, kinda saw it coming.” You shrug.
“did you, though?”
You swallow, looking down at your hands.
Did you really? You believed that things between you and james were going steady, it was him that made plans for the near future, and also him who broke you off as if it has been obvious to everyone. Well, everyone but you, you think.
“yeah, I guess.” You don’t want him to know that you still stay up at night, overthinking every little interaction you and your ex-boyfriend had before the breakup. You don’t want wonhee to know either, she spent the past month trying to help you move on, you feel, well, guilty?
“I, I didn’t want to be, rude, or whatever- fuck,” heeseung straightens his back, voice gentle in a way you have never heard before, “’m sorry, like, it must suck.”
“it does.”
“well, I would like to get to know you, like, for real.” He explains, almost hesitating, or more likely taking careful steps, as if you would jump away if he dared to utter something wrong.
Your eyes dart to where wonhee and jake are sitting, engrossed in their own gossip session, hunched over her phone as if it carried the nations secrets [which it probably does, knowing her].
You lick your lips, “heeseung, listen, i-“ you take a deep breath, heart beating loud in your ears, “I just got out of a relationship, don’t you think it would be, y’know, like, unfair?”
Confused, “unfair?”
You look away, “you seem to be a great guy, heeseung, i bet you are, but, I can’t- ugh.” You sit up, looking at him this time. You never had any issues with expressing yourself clearly, it frustrates you that you seem to struggle now out of all times, “I can’t give you whatever you hope to have with me, in a, what- serious relationship? Not now, I don’t even know if ever.”
You bite the back your groan, embarrassed that you are actually having this conversation in the four walls of your own home, with your best friend and another friend of yours sitting just a few meters away.
And you can’t even muster up the strength to be mad a t heeseung, his big brown eyes sparkle as he looks down at you, hair framing his forehead in this stupidly handsome way that makes your blood boil.
“we can try,” he starts, eyes looking at your lips for a second, then movung back to your eyes, “’m not as bad as you think I am.”
you shake your head, “listen, I can’t do this- like, casual stuff. I need commitment, I need clarity.” You begin to explain, now feeling a bit shy, “I never thought of you to be a bad person, or whatever. I just, I need time to adjust to new stuff, and well, people. Including you.”
Wonhees loud laughter and jakes exaggerated gasp reach your ears, signalling to you that they have not been listening to this somewhat conversation between you and heeseung.
You bite your lip, feeling oddly exposed. You didn’t lie to him; you don’t need to. Everyone knows that you are person who works the best with her routine, with the structure that you planned ages ago, finding comfort in it all.
You don’t want to break his heart, can’t stand the thought of being the cause of someone else’s heartbreak, the same way it has been done to you. Heeseung genuinely seems to be kind and fun guy to be around, you don’t want to break that warm spirit.
“then I’ll adjust, babe,” he sounds almost desperate, you note, leaning down close enough for his minty breath fan your cheek, “just, one chance, all ‘m asking for.”
“and what, do whatever I want you to?”
Heeseung salutes, oh god, he actually salutes, raising his voice for the very first time since he entered your home, “when a bad bitch tells me to do something, I will, ma’am.”
Wonhee and jake stop their session to look at you two, catching heeseung saluting and you hiding your face behind your hands.
“not that you are a bitch, y’know.” He adds, smiling at your embarrassed yet amused expression.
Calming down, you shake your head slightly, “y’know, let’s just go with the flow, slowly.”
His bright face sent an arrow right through your heart, and you genuinely hoped not to be the cause if it ever disappeared.
-----------------------
Your plan was to entertain heeseung for a while until he got bored, which you thought would be soon, since you don’t enjoy going out and are focused on finishing your thesis first.
Wonhee has told you a few times that heeseung is the kind of a person that enjoys basking in the attention of others at a party, loves going out and meeting new people. Jake also mentioned in passing that him and heeseung have this tradition of going to new bars even outside of town. So, all you ever heard about him is that heeseung is not a homebody, not someone who would stay in to do some course readings or ditch a party because a new episode of his favourite series just aired.
He isn’t like you, nor are you anything seemingly relatable to him.
So, what is he doing here, laying on your couch in your living room, phone in his hands, as you sit on your kitchen table, elbows deep into some research papers.
Wonhee has told you earlier that her and a few of the others would be going out to this show at their main bar, jake and some other guys tagging along.
You thought that’s ‘some other guys’ included lee heeseung, the epitome of social butterfly, as well.
What you did not think about was him who knocked at your door half an hour ago, one hand holding a back of snacks and the other carrying flowers that now found their new home on your coffee table.
You find yourself looking at his relaxed figure over and over again, unsure if you are supposed to speak to him or not.
Thinking back, james never randomly showed up at your place to just hang around while you worked on your notes. He would just go and hang out with his friends, claiming that he had enough uni stuff for the day and would much rather spend his time blowing off the stress – whatever that meant.
Looking back, you start to doubt his loyalty to you in some way, even though that thought alone makes you want to empty your stomach. Are you really that suffocating to be around, so much that your boy-, well, ex-boyfriend sought for comfort in another one’s arms?
Heeseung seems rather content, laying there and playing some weird game you don’t know, his feet dangling from the side of your couch.
You clear your throat, “are you, uh. Would you like to eat anything?”
His head turns towards you, eyes still focusing on his phone, “nah, babe. ‘m waiting for you to finish so we can try some new snacks.”
That piqued your interest, “new snacks?”
He nods, sitting up now, phone laying on the couch next to his thighs.
“I heard they got some new chips flavours, and yeah. Wanted to try them out with you.”
You leave your chair and sit down on the floor next to him, back leaning against the couch. You reach for the bag, pulling out the first snack you can find, as heeseung finds his new place on the floor next to you.
“salty coconut?” you turn the bag of chips to read the ingredients, eyebrows drawn together.
Heeseung leans into your space to read it with you, his voice close to your ear, “bet it slaps.”
You hold your breath when you realize how close your faces really are, turning your head to look at him. His eyelashes are pretty, so are the little moles on his cheek. Did he always have that scar on his upper lip?
“you in love yet?”
You scoff, shoving his upper body, “as if. Just curious about what skincare you use.”
His teasing grin only deepens, “your love.”
“leave.”
“sorry.”
That is how the rest of your evening played out. Even though you wished to get some writing done, you couldn’t bring yourself to leave your place on the floor, pressed against the side of heeseungs torso that radiated a comforting warmth your body seemed to yearn for.
With every new bag of chips you two tried, you felt him shift in his seat, moving closer even if it was just a centimetre. You laughed more at his terrible jokes, your cheeks buring from the heat rushing in your body. Maybe it was the familiar scent of his perfume that pulled you into a gentle hug, his addicting laugh and his teasing hand that caressed your neck from the side after he put his arm around your shoulder.
You hate changing your structured plans, hate that you have more readings to do next time you sat down on your desk.
But closing the door after waving him goodbye later that night, you come to the quiet conclusion that,
Maybe you don’t mind it that much at all.
--------------------------------
Scratch that, you do mind it.
Because how the hell did heeseung convince you to get up at seven in the morning on a Sunday, to go to one of his basketball games and cheer [his words, never yours] on him.
You are sandwiched between jake and wonhee, two gym rats that are a bit too hyped for your liking. The gymnasium is filled with fans, family and friends from all the players gathered down at the court, teams grouped up on their benches. You have yet to see heeseung, not that you are actively looking for him. You are just curious, last time you saw him hold a ball, he missed horribly, making you doubt if he was actually here on a sports scholarship.
“yo!” jakes voice booms next to you, making to follow his gaze direct down to heeseung who is approaching you three, a cloth? in his hand.
“hey, guys,” his gaze shifts to you, lingering a bit before he looks back to jake, “thanks for coming. ‘preciate it.”
Jake talks to him about the rival team, dropping some weird lore you wished to erase from your memory as soon as it reached your ears. Wonhee seems to be just as engaged, her elbows on your thighs to lean towards jake, totally ignoring you as you hiss out. This is the person you call your best friend.
“babe,” heeseung calls out, and you wish to smack his grin off his face that forms whenever you react to his pet name for you. He holds the cloth, which turns out to be a jersey of his, towards you, “for you. Would be cool if you wore it.”
Next to you, jake gasps, his hand hitting your arm in disbelief. Wonhee also seems to enjoy what for her must be a live theatre, her fingers pinching your thigh.
When have all these people around you gotten so violent?
You look at the jersey, its bright red and pale white inviting you to take it from his hands. You sigh, when you see his last name and the number seven on it.
“thank you, I’ll wear it with care.” You say out of politeness [yeah, sure] and give up fighting off the smile creeping onto your lips by the sight of heeseungs sparkling eyes, as if he genuinely couldn’t believe that you would accept.
You, too, can’t believe it, you think, as you watch him jog to his team, some of his mates slapping his back teasingly. Ever since you decided to give him a chance, heeseung has been nothing but a sweetheart, only ever offering, never deciding. But still, even though he only ever offers to go out on walks, to cook together, to study together and or to come and watch his game, you never decline, as if the word ‘no’ has been erased from your vocabulary entirely. Everything is just so easy with him. Heeseung is easy.
That soft spoken way of his, definitely not fake and pretentious as you first have assumed it is, his big eyes, following your every move. You cringe at the thought of it, but even his warm hands, the ones that gently play with your hair whenever you sit down next to him are all the reasons why it is so, how should you word it, calming to be with him, like a gently cloud swallowing you whole. You feel weightless, not caring for anything in the world when heeseungs around.
The game passes in a blur, your university’s team won fair and square, leaving the people in your section to celebrate at the top of their lungs.
The three of you are the first ones to move down, walking to the cabins to wait for your mutual friend – well, kinda-not-really-but-you-have-no-idea-what-else-to-call-him friend, in your case.
“what do you think about number eleven?” jake nods to one of the rival players passing by, hands stuffed into his pockets.
Wonhee and you follow his nod, her face ligting up as you scrunch your nose.
“heck yeah” – “oh hell nah.” You say at the same time, not even surprised that your types don’t match; it has always been like this.
Scandalized, jake turns to look at you, “what, why? Is it because he tripped earlier?”
You scoff, rolling your eyes at his words. “no, ‘m just not into blondes.”
“into what?”
Your group turns to look at where heeseungs voice came from, “forget it.” you shake your head, pinching the hem of the jersey you are wearing to draw his attention to it.
“here you go.”
Heeseung smiles brightly, hand scratching the back of his head, “that must be the reason why I played so well today, no?” he turns to ask your best friend who gags, her arm linking with jakes to drag him away.
“ugh, some of us are lonely!” she whines, not looking back as they disappear into the crowd.
You roll your eyes, twisting your body to look at heeseung who leans against the wall. His hands are in the pocket of his windbreaker; eyes already fixated on you.
He looks good, you note. Face flushed from his shower; hair dried with a towel and pushed out of his face. God really has his favourites, huh.
“you got a staring problem, pal?” you ask, giggling at the way he groans.
“way to ruin our moment.” he pushes himself off the wall, hand closing around the strap of his bag. He starts to walk towards the exit, nodding at you to follow him.
“our moment?” you ask, thanking him under your breath as he holds the door open for you.
Heeseung shrugs, “yeah. Star player, his cheerleader, he wins, they kiss type beat.”
You tilt your head, “didn’t know I got promoted to be your cheerleader.”
The walk to his car is short, some of his teammates dap him up, others congratulate him, though it all passes by quickly, leaving you two standing next to his black car. Without a word, he opens the door and waits for you to be seated before shutting it behind you, you watch him circle the car to get into the driver’s seat, his parfum now stronger in a closed off space.
The one.
“I like it.”
Heeseungs starts the car, one hand on the wheel while the other hands you his phone to choose a playlist, “like what, baby?”
“your parfum. It’s comforting.”
“’cause it’s mine?”
“because it is familiar.” You admit, not wanting to elaborate any more.
His brows draw together, eyes still on the road, “what do you mean.”
You shake your head, “can’t really explain,” god, you are such a bad person, “’t’s not like those other ones. They sting.”
“ah.”
Your favourite song fills the comfortable silence between you. It is always comfortable with him, you can’t recall a time where it felt awkward, a moment in which you desperately searched for a topic to fill the space.
He is the first one to speak up, “what did you guys talk about?”
You lean back against your seat, “eh, you have to be a bit more specific.”
His hand gently slaps your thigh, pulling a gasp from, “when you and won were making eyes at that one player.”
“we weren’t ‘making eyes’ at anyone! Jake just asked us if we found him attractive or not.” You don’t have to explain yourself; you know that. Though seeing the way his lips pout when he asks you about the guy, you can’t help but turn into jelly.
Fuck handsome men.
“what did you say?” heeseung tries to stay nonchalant, but you know better. The subtle way his grip tightens around the wheel, the other one playing with the hem of your jersey, are all obvious signs that he cares – a lot.
You shrug, repeating your answer from before “that I don’t like blondes.”
Heeseung hums.
----------------------------
“coming!” you yell out to the person knocking at your door, even though you can already tell who it is by the way he knocks exactly three times.
Swinging the door open, you first look at his leather jacket the two of you bought last week, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips.
It quickly fades as you look at his head, well, his hair.
His brown hair. Not blonde, the way it was just a few hours ago.
“the fuck?” is all you say as you step to the side to make room for him to walk inside, his airy laugh filling the silence of your home.
You shut the door and immediately turn to him, your hands already running through his soft hair.
Heeseung doesn’t hesitate and leans down, making it easier for you to touch him just how he wants you to.
“you like it?”
Ugh, screw him and his honeylike voice and his pretty smile and his neck and-
“i- what, like, why?” you find it hard to form a coherent thought, flashed by how good he looks.
He looked ridiculously good before, his blonde hair made his big brown eyes pop out more, but brown hair? And his soft pink lips? Heeseung better try not to provoke you any more if he values his ability to stand up right.
He shakes his head to mess up his curls a bit, hand moving to place a few stray strands in order, “don’t know, just felt like it.”
You gulp, hoping to calm yourself down a bit.
“looks good, hee. Even better with your new jacket.” You point out, a poor attempt to change the topic for a reason you can’t name.
His lips stay stuck in a big smile, twisting his upper body from side to side as if to present you the jacket one more time, “yeah, a really cool person helped me pick it out.”
“ah,” you walk towards your kitchen table, your own worn-out leather jacket draped over the back of a chair, “that one person who also owns a cool leather jacket? The one you always tried to steal?”
Heeseung chuckles at your words, draping his jacket over yours even though there are many other places in your home he could have used, “yeah, I kinda like her style. She is my style, to be honest.”
“yuck.”
“enough.” Heeseung picks you up, throwing you over his shoulders as you yell out in protest. He doesn’t seem to care, though, moving through your little flat in practiced ease, just as he has done many times before, until he reaches your bedroom.
Without hesitation, he kicks open the door, throwing you onto the bed, suddenly straddling you, “apologize.”
“what.” You push your upper body up to lean back on your arms, knee bumping agsinst the inside of his thigh, low.
“you ruined our couple-y moment. Apologize.”
“I aint do shit, hee. Get off.” You fall back onto your back as you try to push him off with both your hands against his chest. He doesn’t move, instead he plops down onto you, caging you between your mattress and his upper body.
“ugh,” you groan, head butting into his, “you are heavy, babe, get off!”
you are left cold when he jumps off, eyes wide.
“I changed my mind, come back.” You grumble, “you are warm.”
Heeseung ignores your [in his opinion fucking adorable] command, “what did you just call me?”
You lift your head again, confused. “what?”
He smirks, leaning over you this time, hands on either side of your head. His face is dangerously close to yours, his long bangs tickling your nose.
“you called me ‘babe’.”
You feel the heat creep up your neck. Trying to keep your cool, you search for the right thing to say.
“grown ass man getting worked up over a common nickname, by the way.”
you hear his hands slide over your sheets, his fingers playing with your earlobe. Has he always been this- bold? When did you two get this comfortable with each other, fuck, when did you let him get so close to you? Last time you checked, it was you telling him that you didn’t want to hurt his feelings, you knew that you needed time to get over your past relationship and the wounds it had opened from your past.
Have you moved on? You think so. Are you ready for something new? You don’t know. And this scares you more than you realized, not knowing, not having an opinion, a plan to organize it all.
Thinking back to the past few weeks, you have not been planning anything at all. With heeseung around, you didn’t need to. He would show up whenever, somehow always knowing where you were. His charming smile luring you in to follow him into whatever adventure he has planned for the two of you. He knew exactly what to say to push your buttons, knew how to tilt his head and soften his voice to soften your hardened features when his teasing went too far. He never went too far though, if you are being honest. Not then, not now, here, leaning down closer and closer to your face, his hot breath on your lips.
You should say something, tell him to get his ass off just like you always do. But something, this tingling all over your body, the needles pricking the bottom of your feet and the sound of your heart in your ears makes you hesitate. Instead, you feel your tongue wet your tongue, and just as you open your mouth to say something, heeseung dives in, his tongue chasing yours, lips putting on the right amount of pressure onto yours.
You breathe out through your nose, as if any consciousness has left your body, you tilt your head to the right, allowing him more room to deepen the kiss.
It isn’t romantic, if you are honest. It’s desperate, hungry, full of all the things left unsaid between you. You open your legs for him to lay between them, his forearms the only thing that keeps him from putting all of his weight on you. The hand that played with your earlobe moves to the side of your neck, his thumb caressing your jaw. His other hand is moving under your head, pushing it up to him, to his lips, insatiable at this point.
Your own hands wander up from his chest to his neck, cold fingers slowly warming up from the heat of his body.
It is only when your lungs scream at you to take a deep breath when you use your hands to push his lips away from you by his jaw, gasping.
Heeseung whines, sending shivers down your spine.
“just,” he pants, his hand under your head pushing it up a bit, “just a bit more, babe, please, i-“
“hee.” You cut him off, pushing him off even more to sit up. Your legs are still around his torso, his hands now circling around your thighs. “give me a moment, ‘kay?”
He nods, as if he could ever do anything but agree with whatever you say.
You lick your lips, sighing.
How could you explain to him that you have a weird feeling in your stomach, that your heart feels like it is bleeding out. How dare you, after giving him false hope, after allowing him to get closer to him even though you had told him that you would not let that happen.
What happened to your familiar?
You release him from your leg-lock and move to get up from the bed, ignoring the way his eyes follow your every move. Heeseung is still on your bed, sitting at the back of his heels, as if moving would make this entire moment disappear.
He might be right.
You clear your throat. “I, I need to take a breather. Be back in five.”
You don’t wait for his answer, can’t bring yourself to.
It is as if the weight of the situations come down crashing at you with all its weight; your lungs feel hollow as you put on your leather jacket and shoes, breath shaky.
You put your hands inside your pocket, and as soon as you confirm that you have your keys with you, you leave the flat, slamming the door behind you louder than you intended to.
The moon offers you a silent greeting when you reach the front of the building, streets void of any movement or sound.
Well, it is almost midnight on a Monday. What else do you expect?
Your feet move before you can think about it, moving you towards one of the few streetlights scattered around the neighbourhood.
You inhale, the cold air burning your lungs. You like it, though. A little pain never hurt anyone.
“babe?”
His voice makes your shoulders tense up, looking down to avoid his concerned eyes.
Heeseung comes to a halt next to you, adorned in the same leather jacket you talked about earlier.
He does look good.
He bends down a bit, hair falling in front of his eyes, “you okay? Did I do-“
“no.” you shake your head.
God, you are such an ungrateful person. How could you ruin a totally normal situation like that? What is wrong with you?
You speak up again, “you didn’t do anything, heeseung, promise.”
You sigh, turning your head to show him any kind of smile you could muster up, hoping to ease the tension.
“are you sure? Is it because we moved too fast? Should I have kept it for our first official date?” he falls into a monologue, a habit of his when he starts to overthink; you got to know this during the time you two spent together. “I should have make you feel happ-“
Something in you snaps.
no, no! listen, hee, listen i- i can’t, okay? i tried, and god did you make- you do make me happy, okay? i feel so good, so so good when you are here, but i-“ your voice cracks, an ugly sob inserting itself as you try to catch your breath, “i need space. i, i don’t want to live like this-“
“like what, baby?” heeseung looks around, as if his eyes are frantically searching for the reason you want to break things off, “i- everything was, is okay, it has always been?”
you sob again, wiping your tears with the back of your hand, “no, i- i can’t do this with this constant fear of being nothing-“ you inhale shakily.
It feels as if you are dipping your foot into an unknown lake, bottom an endless void that will swallow you whole if you are not careful enough.
“i don’t want to wake up and hope that you won’t pretend like ‘m not there! you have no idea how fucking- ugh, how disgusting it is!”
he scoffs, panic settles on his face, “what does that mean? i- when did i ever-“
“not you! not yet, it’s just, hee, i just need to work things through.” you close your eyes, leaning against the streetlight.
“whenever something happened, my parents would ignore me for weeks, heeseung. weeks. and i thought, i, i don’t know-“ you open your bloodshot eyes, looking at him as if he held the words you were searching for. maybe he did. “i didn’t think I’d carry this fear with me, in relationships, i didn’t know that it would affect me still. and james-“
“fuck him.” heeseung murmurs, taking half a step towards you.
“he also did that whenever i wasn’t the way he wanted me to, i just, i thought he wasn’t. and- i- fuck, i guess i still carry this open wound around.”
“i’ll help you heal, babe, we always helped each other out!” he almost begs, bending his knees slightly. his hands reach towards you, though he wouldn’t dare to touch you just yet, as if you will dissolve into thin air if he makes a wrong move, “please, we-“
“i don’t want you to mirror my wounds, hee. didn’t you notice?” you wet your lips, as if the salty tears rolling down your cheeks aren’t enough, “i get weird around you, my stomach hurts, i- i don’t know what to do with myself, you aren’t familiar.”
it is getting hard to distinguish whom you are telling this to, if you really try to save heeseung or convince yourself that you aren’t good enough for, well, him. the person that not even once shied away from being with you freely and openly. all you know is that you need to get away before you tell him even more, more of what you tried to bury deep inside you all those years ago.
“before i fell in love with you,” you gasp at his declaration, “i just liked you, a lot.” heeseung states. his presence blending out your environment, your attention belongs to him, entirely.
“you always made people around you laugh even though you were serious. wore those cool outfits that i try to copy til date- just. you- you are everything, everywhere.” he breathes out, as if a heavy stone has been lifted from his chest, freeing him from whatever he was holding down, “and i admire you. i want to be better for and with you.”
heeseung takes a step back, hands gesturing around as if there is a crowd watching him, watching you two, “haven’t you noticed how everyone always runs to you for advice? for comfort? simply for you?”
your sob ripples through the air, you can’t bring yourself to look at him anymore, “but what about me!”
heeseung quiets down, running a hand through his dark hair.
you continue. “what about me, fuck, hee. i can’t even bring myself to talk to wonhee at times.” you feel your mouth run dry, “‘m so fucking scared to be air again, to not be worth to be acknowledged again, just because i have an own opinion! but i also can’t-“ you groan, your head hitting the streetlight behind you, “i can’t seem to break free from this, either. i’m just so, so exhausted.”
he steps closer, if he were to raise his hand, he would be able to hold your face, “lean on me, i can carry it.”
you shake your head, gently pushing him away, “i,” you begin, “can’t do that to you. i need to work on me. by myself.”
“please,” his voice cracks, lower lip trembling, “just, just let me- i- let me love you, please.”
“heeseung, i can’t. not now-“
“when? tell me, when are you ready?”
your answer, barely above a whisper, “don’t know.”
his eyes are glassy, clear evidence of the tears he seems to be holding back.
that is what you meant, from the very beginning you knew that this, you, would never forgive yourself of you were the reason to why this warm spirit broke. and now, looking at him and the shell he has become because of your stupid fear; you know that you won’t ever get over this heartbreak you caused.
“what now?” his voice is just above a whisper. He bites down on his lip, not trusting himself to keep calm if you continue to cry even more in front of him.
You look down at your new pair of converse heeseung got you last week.
“we stop hanging out. For a while, I guess.”
“for how long,” he takes your face into his hand, thumb brushing over your cheekbone, “I can wait, just give me a date-“
“please leave me alone for the time being, hee.”
His hand falls to his side, as of someone has sucked its strength out; maybe that is what you did.
He feels his throat close up, “babe-“
“hee. Please.” You interrupt, pushing yourself off the light, “that is what I meant from the very start. I can’t do this to you.”
This seems to light the fire inside of heeseung. It’s the way his nostrils flare and his arms raise, “you are doing nothing to me, but us! Babe, we were happy just minutes ago- what, how- I, what happened?”
“there is no us, heeseung!” you snap, getting angry. Not at him, never at him.
This anger is directed to you; you can feel it. it is directed to you, your parents, fucking james, your dumb habit of hiding behind familiar stuff, not trying to become a better person. Not even for him.
“’m selfish, ‘m scared, fuck- heeseung, we kissed once and I dipped. I can’t do this, not right now.” You take a deep breath, “please, just leave.”
Heeseungs straightens his back, as if something in him is switched on. He nods once, eyes never leaving yours. He then looks away, nodding again. And before you know it, he turns away, legs moving faster than his usual walking pace.
You stay still, watching his figure get smaller and smaller the more h moves away from you. Something in you screams at you to call him back; to close your arms around the home his shoulders have become and beg for his forgiveness. The selfish, scared part of you tells you to stay put, to let himself free from your unworthy self, silencing your yearning heart.
Fucking great.
You just hate yourself so much.
--------------------------------
it is so hard to get back into fanfic writing g after only wiring academic papers for the past year! please excuse any spelling or grammar mistakes, I refuse to proofread!
It’s the first time you have seen the mall so empty, the usual crowd nowhere to be seen.
It must be because heeseung might be only person on earth who gets up an hour before the stores open on a Monday, his frantic knocks against your door pulling you out of your bed.
When you opened the door and saw his smug grin your first reaction was to shut it again, rolling your eyes at his laugh merging form the other side.
“babe!” he called out, muffled.
You ripped the door open again, “sh! People are fucking sleepin’, hee!”
He stepped inside, his parfum mixed with cold air hitting invading your senses.
He didn’t even give you enough time to get ready after he told you that he would be taking you to the mall, no context or anything of that kind.
As you enter the first store, you are met with a tired greeting from one of the workers, the usual upbeat song that would be blaring through the boxes replaced with an rnb melody.
It is definitely too early to be here.
You hold back a yawn, feet dragging as you follow heeseung around, “what are we looking for?”
He hums, eyes going through the various jacket displayed on the rail.
“just looking ‘round.”
You stop abruptly, “so you dragged me out of bed-“
“I didn’t drag you, baby.”
“-to just look around? On a Monday? Three hours before class?” you squeeze out, trying your best to not hit him square across the face.
He shrugs, smiling at your expression. “you had to get up anyway.”
“in two hours, hee! What the fuck.” You groan, throwing your head back.
What must have you done in your previous life to be punished in such cruel way?
Heeseung doesn’t comment, instead, he takes your hand in his, putting it into the pocket of his windbreaker. Your hand stays in his as you two enter the second store.
Snipes.
You pull your hand out of his pocket, ignoring the way his head snaps to you.
Taking a deep breath, you decide to look around and give him some space to get done with whatever he planned to get here, humming along the song playing in the background.
It doesn’t take long for heeseung to appear by your side once again, holding a pair of shoes.
Black converse.
“c’mere, babe.” His soft voice. the even softer grip of is hand around your wrist pulls you to one of the chairs in the store, making you sit down.
He kneels down in front you without any hesitation, hands working on your used laces.
“hee,” you bend down, holding his hands to stop him, “uh, what?”
You watch him bite his lip, chuckling at your confused state. “babe, please don’t get me wrong, but those,” he points dow to your favorite, and well, only pair of converse, “need to leave. Can’t have you embarrass me like that.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” you hate the way you can feel your lips pout.
Is this really what you have become?
Heeseung laughs, wetting his lips. “let’s just say, I would like to, y’know?”
“uh, no?”
He groans, shutting his eyes once, as if gathering any remaining strength he has left, “I want to buy you something, ‘kay?”
He looks into your eyes with such seriousness that makes you hold your breath,
What the fuck.
“unprovoked?”
Someone come and throw you out of the window. Why would you say it like that?
His shoulders shake as he laughs at you, “well, yeah. That is what, like, we do.”
You can’t help but smirk at his answer.
“oh, do we now?”
He looks down again, hands starting to remove your old shoes and helping you put the new ones on.
It’s odd. You found comfort in your old pair, the memories it holds grounding you. Though, you must admit that this new pair, its black radiant and the white almost competing with the stars in heeseungs eyes as he watches you, it all just feels so- freeing? Should you be thinking that?
“what do you think, babe?” he raises, back bending to level with your face.
time stops as you look into his eyes, mouth running dry.
You nod, “like ‘em.”
That is all heeseung needs to hear, spine straight as he takes the shoe carton to the checkout.
You jump out of your seat, bending down to grab your old pair and follow after him.
“wait,” you hold his arm as he pulls out his wallet, “you can’t just- like, buy them?”
He chuckles, “of course I can. I want to.”
He turns to hand over his credit card, telling the cashier to keep the box.
“are you two a couple?” he asks, hands quick as he works on the rest.
Heeseung looks down at you for a second, “no, we are not.”
The guy nods, smiling. “well, you know what they say about couples buying each other shoes.”
What?
Before you can ask, heeeung takes back his card, his other hand reaching to hold yours.
“yeah thanks, man. Have a good one.”
He walks you two out of the store, and you can’t help but look back one last time, watching your old pair being thrown into a stray box.
“want to eat something?” you turn to look at him again.
Your eyes move to the big clock displayed in the middle of the mall.
Summary: for a new series for their youtube channel, the company has decided to invite seven fans, and or casual k-pop listeners, to spend a week with one of the members of the popular group „enhypen“ ! and lucky [are you really?] you, and thanks to your cousin wanting to tease you a bit, you have been selected to spend a week with park sunghoon! Not only is it that you now have to spend half of your two-week vacation with a complete stranger. It’s just, well, it seems that the two of you are somewhat get along way too well even though you have just met.
Idol!sunghoon x foreigner!reader / strangers2? / out of character sunghoon? / both are so awkward, please send help / but they are trying their very best, ok / fluff / no smut / maybe some tension? / no slow burn! / kinda right person wrong time, maybe?/ I have no idea where this is going / im not even an enhypen fan, but I have had this one specific scenario in my head for the past week and need to write it down or else- / idk. / open end? / maybe angst?, who knows / love goes beyond language type beat
[name] is not a real person, and she won’t be you 100%! This is a fictional setting, I do not know park sunghoon and therefore can only guess how he would be in such setting. I hope to not offend anyone, but please also remember to be kind and understanding. Thank you.
Bold text: Korean
Cursive text: readers native language (if English happens to be your native language, idk. It could also indicate a dialect)
Normal text: english
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Cool wind bit on your cheeks as you stood outside the meeting point given to you by the company, your scarf only shielding you up to your mouth. Your gaze was directed down to your shoes, the ones your cousin had picked out because she couldn’t have you “embarrass her on national tv”, her direct words, not that you could have said anything against it.
Or maybe you could, should have done that. Then you wouldn’t be standing here in the cold, heartbeat echoing in your ears and the feeling of your fingertips lost.
If only you had shut up about this new series of the company, then your cousin wouldn’t have jokingly applied there in your name, claiming that you wouldn’t get picked up anyway since you were in Korea to spend your winter vacation, nothing else.
Should you fix your hair one last time? you still had five more minutes before the actual meeting happened.
Keeping your sigh down was harder that you have anticipated as thousands of thoughts swirled across your mind, the uncertainty of it all weighing down on your chest. You didn’t even know which member of the group you would be meeting, believing the camera team that will be following you wanting to get a raw and unfiltered reaction of you. Shit, you didn’t even know how to act in front of the camera, and a stranger whose fanbase would hunt you down of you were to offend him in any way. Maybe you should run away while you still can, it’s not like they would be able to find you.
Yeah, you should definitely do that.
Determined, you rose your gaze from your shoes to look up front, only to be met with the sight of two women, hiding the lower part of their face behind a mask, their eyes indicating that they were smiling at you.
“that must be her, huh?” you heard one of them speak up, not understanding anything.
After all those years watching bts run videos, one might think that you would pick up at least a bit of Korean, yet to no avail.
“excuse me,” one of them approached you gently, her voice quiet, “are you [name]?”
You cleared your throat before speaking up, hoping that your voice wouldn’t crack.
“yes, I am waiting to be picked up by Na Seon-In.” you replied, head nodding along your words.
Fuck, it was actually happening. This can’t be, you didn’t think that they were actually coming, or actually, you hoped that they have forgotten about you, freeing you from your anxiety and this dread of meeting an actual fucking k-pop idol. A young one at that, someone who was around your age. Fuch, fuck fuck-
“that is me! We thought you wouldn’t be able to find the place!” she spoke up enthusiastically, turning around to tell the other woman something in korean.
You actually struggled greatly to find this place, apple maps not helping at all. Thankfully you had asked some kind strangers to help you out, the language barrier lifted as one of them also spoke English fluently.
Miss Na Seon-In turned around to face you once more, her voice laced with the previous excitement, “let’s go inside a café, there we can talk everything over before it begins.”
Nodding, you follow the two women to a nearby café, your toes staring to hurt after standing in the cold so long. You are definitely getting a hot chocolate; you can’t afford to move like a robot when you meet the idol.
-----------------------
You set your cup back down on the table, eyes looking at the document Miss Na Seon-In placed in front of you, while explaining the content of the contract at the same time.
The café was relatively empty, only two other couples besides your group sitting inside, the lights dimmed down even though it was only nine in the morning and slow r&b music seeping through the boxes.
“you will spend the first hour with the camera by yourself, walking around and looking at the city, this is all to get the viewers to know you before you meet the member, of course you can go wherever you want,” she explained, using the pen in her hand to guide you through the bullet points on the contract, “then you can give the camera to one of our staff, the filming will be done by the member for the first day.”
“tell her to stay close by, so she doesn’t get lost before they meet.” Choi Ha-Rin spoke up, looking at her friend before sending you a kind smile.
You met her smile with one of your own, understanding the struggle of not being able to communicate in a certain language when needed. Fuck, you hope that you get paired up with jake or jay, at least then the non-existent language barrier would lessen your worries.
“ah, yes!” Seon-In exclaimed, head snapping back to you, “Ha-Rin said that it would be better for you to stay close this area, just so you don’t get lost!”
Nodding, you smile at the two, “it would be better for everyone involved, I guess.”
The briefing session continued for another thirty minutes before they showed you how to work with the camera, explaining all the different setting and also showing you the best angles to film yourself from. As they continued to talk about the upcoming events, the realization that you would actually meeting a k-pop idol started settling down, your shoulders cramping up and your hands colder from your nervous sweat.
If it wasn’t for the clause of not talking about the events until after the week, you would have immediately gotten your phone out to talk to your cousin, she would definitely know how to calm you down.
Fuck, why would she sign you up anyway? Didn’t she know that she would be spending the first half of the day on her own for the entire week? How dare she betray you like this? You should have taken her last piece of her favorite snack while you still had the time, she didn’t deserve the happiness of enjoying herself anymore, you will be getting your revenge.
Your hate train for your cousin is interrupted as the two women guide you to the exit of the café, Seon-Ins kind voice somewhat soothing your worries.
It was too late to regret; you will do your very best! This is something others could only dream of! Instead of embarrassing yourself, you will try to show a charming and kind side of yourself to the world! And then, you will take revenge!
---------------------------
You can only scoff at your past self as you found yourself sitting in front of the camera recording you, the background showing the park draped with a certain noon sleepiness, the leaves of the tree next to you rustled gently. You could feel your butt cooling down as you shifted in your seat on the bench, your fingers once again turning red from the wind.
Showing your kind and charming self to the world? Yeah right. You were sitting in front of the camera without saying anything for the past ten minutes must have been really charming. You felt bad for the person that was going to edit this footage, it would be a real pain to find anything useable that would introduce you the viewers. You attempted to speak up every now and then, paring your lips, eyes dancing around the void park in hope to find the right thing to say.
You cleared your throat for the nth time before deciding thatit was enough embarrassment for the day and started to speak your very first word to the camera.
“okay, I, hm,” you shift in your seat once more, “talking to a camera is harder than it seems, as I was only ever watching others speak to the cam.”
Okay, not bad.
You bit along your lower lip, using your free hand to push away some of your hair from your forehead.
“I was told to spend some time by myself before I would meet, uh, the, yeah, the idol. I have no idea who it is,” this time you rose from your seat to walk towards a convenience store across the street, wanting to free your mind from unnecessary worries, “I don’t even know how to prepare myself; I just hope not to embarrass myself, for real.”
Sighing, you enter the store and are immediately met with warm air and a worker from the store, greeting you with a rather tired voice from standing next to the door for god knows how long, “lets see…”
You continued to film yourself, and at times also showed some of the store, trying to get more comfortable.
“should I buy something for the member?” you ask into the camera, looking directly at the lens before looking along the shelves once more, “maybe a key chain? Or, like, a plastic flower? Maybe a heating pad?” you bent down to look at the different heating pads, the prices acceptable.
Before you knew it, you found yourself talking more and more to the camera while also walking around the shelves of the store, time suddenly flying by, which causes you to pay for everything you bought in a hurry and speed walking towards the second meeting point.
“fuck, I, oh, sorry- i- I didn’t realize how much time already passed!”, you spoke while looking down to avoid tripping on the stairs, coming to a hasty halt when you finally arrived, “thank god, it seems that I am not too late.” You smile at the camera, a little cloud forming in front of your mouth as you breathed out the breath you didn’t know you were holding in, the excitement coming down crashing on you.
You knew that you were now supposed to film yourself to catch your reaction when seeing the member, but fuck, you really want to turn it off and take a minute to calm down our nerves.
The streets were busier than before, people now leaving their workplaces to go out for their lunches, students walking home and drivers honking at whatever crossed their paths. How were you supposed to know who the member was? Would he be able to find you, instead?
“okay,” you filmed yourself looking around the streets, not noticing a figure in dark clothes approaching you from behind, “he should be here any minute now.”
The member came to a halt two steps behind you, his cap and face mask leaving only his sharp eyes to be exposed. He wouldn’t admit it, but he, too, felt quite nervous. And that nervousness only doubled when he found out that the person he was about to meet didn’t speak any Korean. He knew that the company did this on purpose to get more material, but he wouldn’t make a fool out of himself.
Just as he was about to speak up, you turned around and got startled when you saw a man standing right behind you, his tall frame and dark clothes adding to the shock.
“oh my god,” you caught yourself speaking out before you could find your composure, eyes widening, “i- uh.”
The camera was still directed at our face, perfectly catching your off-guard expression.
“hello.” He bowed down his head, keeping his voice quiet, “I am sunghoon.” He spoke out carefully, his tongue wetting his lips under his back facemask.
You cleared your throat, copying his bow and introducing yourself as well.
aint no way that they would do this to you.
It wasn’t that you did not like sunghoon, no. you thought that he was a very interesting character, but, well. He didn’t speak any English, at least not as much as you hoped.
The both of you then stood there, quietly starring at the other for an entire minute. Your arm stayed up high, this time turning the camera to film the two of you.
Okay, so you saw him. What now? What did Seon-In say you were supposed to do after meeting? You introduced yourselves as anyone else would do if they are supposed to meet with someone they didn’t know. Okay. Cool.
“okay,” sunghoon spoke up first again, determined to make the best of the situation, “we can, uh, go to, café, and- uh- crew is there.” He tried to hold back the cringe he felt from hearing himself speak english, hoping that you understood him to know what he wanted to do. It seemed just as him, you were also unsure what to do next, whether it was due to the shock of meeting him or simply because you genuinely didn’t know.
He looked down into your eyes, watching as they lit up in realization, “okay! Yes! Thank you so much!” you bow down your head once more, wanting to respect his culture. You smiled up at him, grateful that he seemd to understand how you were feeling.
Sunghoon found himself copying your smile, his finger pointing towards the camera, “I can- uh- film.”
You looked at the camera one last time before handing it over to him, happy to grant your arm some rest.
You stepped forward, signalizing that you were ready to go to the café he was talking about, watching him as he adjusted the camera angle to film the two of you from above. That is how you spent the walk to the café, quietly walking next to each other, looking at your surroundings and greeting each other with an awkward smile whenever your eyes met. You could, however, not see sunghoon smile at you, as he was still covering his face with a mask that he did not take off until you finally settled down at a table in the café, the camera now placed at the edge to film you two.
After meeting with other crew members, who told you both what you were supposed to do today, you were once again left alone with sunghoon, sharing a somewhat comfortable silence.
This time, you decided that it was your turn to speak up first, “so, do you know what you want to eat?”
You watched him as his eyes snapped to meet yours before looking down at the menu again, lis tongue quickly wetting his lips, “I want, the, uh, tiramisu? Yes.” He nodded to himself, then looked back at you, “and you?”
“hm,” your eyes dance along the menu, happy to see that they have an English translation, “I think i- hm, do you want to share the strawberry cake with me?” you asked, looking at him.
Sunghoon gazed at you intensively, as if to make sure he understood you correctly, “you eat tiramisu, then, too?”
You sat up straight, happy that you seemed to communicate well with him, “yeah! If you want?”
All he did was nod before calling the waiter over to your table, ordering your cakes along with the drink of your choice. You couldn’t help but look at his side profile as he was still ordering everything, still unable to comprehend that you were deadass sitting in a café with a k-pop singer, about to share some cakes and what not. And this would be going on for the rest of the week.
Oh wow.
The silence returned once more as the waiter walked away to ring in your orders, the sound of other people inside blending into the background.
“so,” you sat up straight, hoping to make the best out of the situation, “how old are you?”
Someone fucking punch you in the face for being so awkward.
“I am,” sunghoon also sat up, pushing away a stray strand from his eyes, “twenty-three. My birthday, uh- was, two days ago.” He answered kindly.
Hearing that, you thought of the little gift you had bought for him at the convenience store, “oh! Wait!”
You turned in your seat to grab something out of your coat pockets, biting down on your lip to calm your nerves.
“here,” you push the heating pad and a snowflake key chain towards him, chuckling at the coincidence that the snowflake suited his name of “ice-prince” in the k-pop community, “happy belated birthday!”
Sunghoon stared down at the things in your hands, lips parted slightly. His expression was quite normal, you’d say, neither his eyes widened nor did he raise his eyebrows in surprise.
Though you could tell that he was somewhat taken aback from the sudden gift, as he could only open and close his mouth, searching for the right words to say.
Sunghoon didn’t know how to react, if he was being honest, since he did not expect anything like this. But seeing the excitement in your eyes, the apples of your cheeks rising as you smiled at him with such genuine intention, he couldn’t do anything but take the pad a d key chain from your hands, bowing his head slightly and smiling back at you just as happy.
“thank you very much, i-“ he swallowed down, “I am really happy, thank you.”
Fuck, he felt bad that he did not think of doing such kind gesture to you as well. You must think that he was rude or bothered to be here. He couldn’t even thank you properly.
So, he did what he was trained to do to express his gratitude and turned towards the camera to show it his new gifts.
“everyone, she even got me a late birthday gift,” he quickly flashed you a smile before he continued, “ah, I feel so bad now, I can’t even thank her properly.” Kissing his teeth, sunghoon once again thanked you.
You smiled at him, then looked at the waiter that suddenly approached your table to bring your cakes, your tea and sunghoons iced americano.
Now with your table filled with your orders, you picked up the camera to show it to the viewers, “here we have tiramisu-“ you begin, cutting off to chuckle as sunghoon starts to pick up the plate to enhance your presentation, “thank you, dear sunghoon!”
His eyes crescented as he smiled at your words, continuing with your presentation, “here, strawberry cake, and- uh, iced americano, and tea!” he finished, lifting each item towards the camera to get a closer look.
You moved to place the camera back to the edge, sunghoon however decided to take it off your hands to turn the lens towards you [and the table] instead, mumbling to himself, “here we can see the pretty view better…”
Unsure what he was saying, you simply threw up a peace sign and smiled at the camera, picking up the fork with your other hand.
“okay!” sunghoon clapped once, setting the camera back down and picking up his own fork. He couldn’t afford you two to stare off towards the other in silence, he had to take the reign. His showed his fork to the camera, gesturing to you to follow him suit.
Laughing, you copied his moves, “here, guys! Sunghoon will try the cake first, right?” you look back at him, your faces closer now that both of you leaned down to the camera.
Signaling with your fork down to the cake and then back at him, you watched as he nodded before eating a piece of the strawberry cake first.
You started at him as he tasted the cake, his eyebrows drawing together and his head slightly nodding, a clear sign that he liked the cake.
Smiling to yourself, you also take a piece of the cake, from the opposite side, and hum happily as you are met with the fresh take of the strawberries.
“that tastes so good.” You sighed, washing it down with a sip of your tea.
And after that, the two of you continued to talk about your preferences, what fruit was the best, which drink would be better, how iced americano was overrated [he scoffed at you, you refused to back down] and much more. Even though the language barrier was pretty prominent, you couldn’t deny that you quickly blended away the fact that you were casually chilling with a k-pop singer and discussing different opinions on food with him. Whenever sunghoon needed a word that he couldn’t remember in English, he used his phone to translate, at times even handing it over to you when he struggled to understand what you were saying.
You didn’t even notice how fast the time passed. After having left the café to walk around the busy streets of seoul, sunghoon had insisted to get you a hat and a mask as well to protect your privacy, which you didn’t understand as you used a new camera to continue filming your day.
“no, no, wait.” He had said, shaking his head unsatisfied with the hat you had picked out. The camera was in your hand, switching from showing your deadpan expression to his serious one, eyeing the two bucket hats in his hands. One was black, rather fluffy, perfect for the falling temperatures outside. The other was in a warm beige town, the fabric soft and thin.
“both colors look good on her, everyone,” sunghoon pushed his face towards the lens directed at him, scoffing, “I think,” he lifted the black hat, “this one, good.” He looked back at you for approval, nodding to his choice.
You took the hat from his hands, as he now began to film you, humming as you looked at the black hat deep in thought, “but then, you can’t even see my eyes.”
You quickly got used to use your hands while communicating with sunghoon, the both of you finding out that it made talking to each other easier.
“better, no can photograph your- uh, face.” He nodded, taking the hat back to pay for it.
You wished to speak up, wanting to tell him that he did not have to pay for it, though you understood very fast that it would not reach his ears. Even back then, at the café when you at least wanted to pay for your own order, it felt lie sunghoon was read to throw you across the room if you dared to bring that topic up again.
Following him to the cashier, you stood a step behind him and watched him pay for the head while also talking to the camera. Even though you had been in korea for a week already, you still had to get used to smiling with your eyes due to the mask blocking half of your face, so when sunghoon and you stepped out and he put the hat on your head, you leaned back to smile at him with your eyes, hoping to convey your gratitude.
Adjusting the hat, you turned your body toward him, “thank you, sunghoon, really.”
You believed that he also flashed you a toothy smile as you watched his eyes close up a bit, leaning down, “you call me, hoon.” He nodded confidently, pushing the camera high to capture you both at the same time.
You felt heat rush into your neck, slowly creeping up to your ears, as you heard him offer you to call him by a nickname. It must be due to how tired you were, you had been up since seven in the morning and had not the chance to rest so far. That must be why you felt so weird, why this kind offer if his made you feel so taken aback.
You cleared your throat, nodding, “okay, hoon.” Why were you feeling so embarrassed all of a sudden? And fuck, why did he have to say that in front of the camera, you could already feel the hate messages creeping into your dms. Did he hate the way you pronounced his name so much that he wished to help you out?
His airy chuckle reached your ears as the two of you began your walk towards your hotel.
As you reached a streetlight, you felt sunghoon suddenly come to a halt, looking back you before turning back to face the camera, “everyone,” he started, lifting his hand to wave at the camera, “today, we sleep now. We will start- uh, tomorrow, again, good night and see you.” He bowed his head and the pushed the camera closer to you, signaling you to wave at the camera as well.
“ah,” you straightened your back, copying his wave, “see you, everyone! We will be back tomorrow!” you copied him and switched back to your mother tongue, chuckling at his surprised face.
With the camera now turned off, you believed that your ways would part here now, and that you would see him again at the first meeting point tomorrow. Your shocked face must have been visible even with the mask and hat covering majority of your face, as sunghoon laughed and gestured to you that he would walk you back to your hotel.
“in dark, you have to help the girl.” He nodded, eyes all serious, not accepting words of protest.
Touched by his kind words, you quietly thanked him and told him the name of your hotel, which he seemed to know, as he began to walk immediately without any delay.
The air between you was filled with small talk, sharing some facts about the other, him laughing at your poor attempts of speaking any kind of Korean that you picked up from all those years of being a casual listener, and you mirroring that when he tried to pronounce one word in your native language.
Now standing in front of the entrance of your hotel, you turned to face him, unsure what to do.
As if he understood your dilemma, sunghoon moved to grab [you stopped questioning him entirely] your head and squeezed it through your new fluffy hat, wishing you a good night.
Scoffing, you gently slapped off his hand, “yeah, yeah. Good night to you, too, hoon.”
Laughing at your tone, he waved at you one last time and began to walk away, home, you believed. You watched his tall frame slowly disappear into the night, before walking into your hotel, straight to the elevator and up to your room.
------------------------------------
“okay, okay, I waited enough! Now tell me every little dirty thing you did!” your cousin whined as you finally settled into your shared kind sized bed, both of your faces covered by a korean skincare sheet mask.
Groaning, you swatted her hand on your shoulder away, “I signed an nda!” you began, shifiting in your position, “but it was very, hm, nice?” you couldn’t help but giggle, “I thought it would be so, like, I don’t even know, awkward? Uncomfortable? But it was good, his English isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”
“what are the chances of getting paired up with park sunghoon?” she laughed, leaning back while scrolling on her phone, “you think anyone saw you?”
You shrugged, “well, he bought me a hat and a mask, he might have felt something, or whatever.”
“twitter’s clean.”
“hm, well. Lets hope that it will stay a secret until the videos are released. Wouldn’t want him to be in, like, you know, a stupid scandal just because of a misunderstanding.”
You continued to talk well into the night, trying to avoid of talking about sunghoon and the things he told you, wanting to respect his privacy and the contract you had signed. And even though you quickly calmed down from meeting him after having spent the entire day with him, you couldn’t shake off the anticipation of seeing him again tomorrow. There was so much you’d like to talk to him about, places you’d like to see with him and his weird humor following you around. Even though you feel into a comfortable silence every now and then because it was hard to come up with a topic to talk about in the spot, sunghoon not even once had made you feel uncomfortable your weird in any way. Any sort of awkwardness that might have been rising as quickly covered by a weird noise he made or a bad joke he told you.
You sigh to yourself quietly. The soft snores of your cousin sleeping next to you, the tiredness in your muscles and the warmth you felt with the thought of seeing sunghoon again tomorrow lull you into a dreamless slumber.
-----------------------------
Leaving the warmth of the hotel lobby and stepping outside into the cold morning air draped over korea took more courage than you’d like to admit. You did not have the same privilege to sleep in as your dear cousin did back inside, and now you also ahd to walk to the arranged place where you and sunghoon would meet for the entire week.
Just as you began to walk towards the direction, you heared a loud voice booming from hebind you and something grabbing your shoulder, making you yelp up.
“what the fu-“ you were interrupted by a familiar voice laughing at your shocked expression, eyes snapping down to watch sunghoon laugh at you bent over, the other hand tightly holding onto the camera that was filming him.
“I cant- I, honey,” he managed to talk out, now standing up straight to look at your deadpan expression, “I am sorry, but, you scream so, wah, loud.” He continued to giggle, now pushing the camera towards you.
Scoffing, you pushed his hand out of your face and walk away, not in the mood to be the victim of his mean pranks.
“leave, I don’t want to talk to you anymore!” you groaned, desperately fighting off the smile that crept onto your lips.
You even wore the hat that he got you yesterday, and this is how he treats you first thig in the morning?! Rude.
You continued your aimless walk, ears picking up on his footsteps following you from behind. He was also talking to the camera, though you had no chance to understand what he was saying.
Sunghoon called out your name, now standing right next to you, “I am sorry, okay? Lets go- shopping? Maybe. I will buy you, uh, things.” He had his mask pushed down, revealing his his subtle smirk that he tried to hide away from you.
Thanks to the entire day you spent together yesterday, Sunghoon quickly got to understand that you were a very expressive person when you felt comfortable, and what better way to melt the nice between the next day by scaring you when you least expected it! and oh, was he glad that he did that, no one could have prepared him about how funny you would react!
He bit back a smile as you whined at him, complaining about his approach and even though he did not understand every single word that you uttered at him, he couldn’t help but hang onto your lips, wanting to hear everything that left them.
He turned back to the camera, laughing, “she is very, uh, dramatic, yes. It wasn’t even that scary, honey, you can calm down.”
Your eyes widened, “what?! Do you know how weird that- ugh. No. I don’t-. forget it I forgive you.” You shook your head; hands stemmed on your hips as if surrendering to his nonsense.
And that is how you started your second day of the week with sunghoon, once again walking around, talking even more than you did yesterday, lightly teasing the other and complaining about it to the camera as if it was some kind of supervisor that would aid you if the other was doing too much.
Other highlights of the day were also when you found a restaurant that sold food from your home country, where you turned to sunghoon and begged him to try out some with you, just to check if it was authentic or not,
“c’mon, hoonie, it is really good! You can eat japchae whenever!” you moved closer to him, the camera capturing the two of you walking along the somewhat busy streets, any sign of awkwardness somehow vanishing as time moved on.
And how could sunghoon even say no to your wishes, the way your voice rose with each word and your head tilting to the side. He never really liked standing too close to people he wasn’t entirely comfortable around, and even though he had only met you just yesterday, he also knew that he didn’t feel anything weird by being so close to your body. Quite the opposite, if he was being honest. He liked the sound your jackets made when they rubbed against each other, liked the gentle bumps that followed because for some reason you could walk in a straight line.
Mock groaning to tease you a little, sunghoon agreed and followed you inside the small restaurant, nose met with the smell of strong spices and warm food.
As soon as he placed the camera down at the edge of the table as he is used to, he couldn’t take his eyes off your excited face anymore, a smile of his own creeping onto his lips as he watched to talk in your native language to the restaurant owners and ordering whatever you wanted for the two of you.
Usually, he would be careful with how he acted around you, as you were a woman and his fans could at times react rather, how shall he word it, intense, whenever a person of the opposite sex was involved. And he was trained, he knew how he had to act, was no stranger to the whole public figure life codes and what not, but who cared. If his company was actually against him being genuine with someone else, they would have not make him and the other members spend a week with a stranger. It was bound to happen, getting comfortable, he meant.
And with this comfortable feeling and much more, this day also slowly came to an end. After getting something to eat and also getting some drinks to go, sunghoon kept his promise and actually took you to a shopping center, buying you some skincare products and a ring that you planned on gifting your cousin, as you told him before.
“so, your cousin is- here? In korea?” he asked, camera inside his pocket, as he decided to walk around with you without filming. He believed that you got enough footage for the day, and would only film again when it was time for you to go back to your hotel.
You nodded, eyes looking up at his, “yeah, she spent a year here and has friends she can meet,” you began, taking a sip from your tea, “i was sad that she would be alone while we are together, you know?”
Sunghoon hummed, his arm brushing against yours, “she can, uh, meet my friend. Members, you know?”
Sunghoon felt heat creeping up his cheeks as he watched you laugh at his words, head falling back, “who knows, maybe she can also spend a week with him?”
There has never been a time in which he was more grateful to have known jake as he does now, thanks to him and his constant bickering with jay in english, sunghoon is able to understand quite a lot of what you are saying. His only wish was to be able to speak to you just as comfortably as you do.
“yeah, maybe.” He agreed, looking around.
Where else could he take you? What else would interest you?
Just as he wanted to take out his phone to google some locations, you closed your hand around his bicep, stopping him from walking any further, “hoonie!”
“yes?”
“are there any art museums we could go to?”
“art?” he asked again, watching you nod, “wait a minute, I think…” he drifted away deep in thought, thinking of what way would be the best to reach the museum in seoul.
“maybe,” he began, straightening his back, “we go with taxi, to, uh the- museum. 10 minutes.”
And that is how you found you guys at the entrance of the Korean national art museum in seoul, camera in hand to film your spontaneous trip,
“hey guys!”, you started, moving closer to sunghoon to put the tow of you in the frame, “we decided to come to the museum! And now hoonie and I will rate the stuff here,” you faced him, “okay?”
Sunghoon just looked down at you, his face covered by a mask and hair hid by a beanie, “okay.”
And that is how you two speed-walked through different sections of the museum, pretending to be serious art critiques and rating every piece.
At times sunghoon would even go so far and claim that he could do the same piece with his left foot [he mostly relied on body langue to get the message through, but you understood] and laughed until your stomach hurt.
“ya,” he called out, taking the camera out of your hand to film you instead, “honey, go there and uh, walk like model to me.” He barley finished his sentence when he couldn’t hold back anymore and began laughing at your poor attempt to catwalk, the empty section you were currently in easing your worries that someone else might see you.
You walked back to him as he turned off the camera, his hand hovering at the small of your back to guide you to the next floor,
“why is it so empty today?” you asked, eyes only ever catching a few people either entering or leaving the room.
“oh,” he began, taking out his phone, “today, uh, is holiday at university. Many people go there.” He explained, handing yo over his phone.
“picture?” you asked, as if it was something you had always done. And well, today, you kinda did. Whenever sunghoon wanted you to take a picture, he just handed you his phone and walked to the place he wanted to be seen. As you had explained to him yesterday, you weren’t really allowed to use you phone while you were with him, all to protect his privacy and such. So, whenever sunghoon felt like you or him wanted a picture of the place you were at, he gave you his phone and let you do whatever you wanted.
It felt weirdly intimate and, well, you couldn’t deny that it made your cheeks heat up. Who would have thought that sunghoon could be such an attentive and sweet guy?
As he came back to check the picture you made, you couldn’t help but look up at his face, heart forcefully beating against your rips.
“good?” your voice was just above a whisper, not trusting it at the moment.
Sunghoon hummed, turning his head to look right back at you.
Clearing your throat, you took a step back and handed him his phone back, stepping towards the exit floor, “it is late now, maybe we should head back?”
He simply followed you, his hand once more placed at the small of your back while his other hand called for a cap.
Well, fuck.
--------------------------------------
The rest of the week was spent with just as much teasing and sneaky gazes that never really met. For some reason, sunghoon tried to use the camera as little as possible, even though filming your day was the entire purpose of why you two even met up.
Though, you weren’t one to complain, actually appreciating the private moments that only ever stayed between you two.
The other days you either went to different cafè and once again pretended to be professional taste testers, other times you simply sat down on a bench with some snacks and taught the other words in your native language. Sunghoon even told you about some songs he planned on covering, told you about his plans for the future with the band and even about his family.
Ad you didn’t hold back either, telling him just as much about your future goals, your friends and family.
There were times where your hands brushed against the others as you somehow started walking very close to each other, times where you wished that he might hold your and even times when he actually did.
Maybe it was a great idea to buy big hats that would cover your face, as you couldn’t begin to phantom how you would be explaining to others that you were walking around seoul while holding hands with a k-pop idol. Though you also liked it, this intimacy that was wrapped behind a veil with only you and sunghoon actually knowing what was going on, or well, at least pretending as if you knew.
If you were being honest, you had no idea what was happening and why it came all of a sudden; this hand holding, the leaning into each other and whispering into the others ear; the pictures he started to take of you when he thought you weren’t looking and the hours you were desperately scratching together to not part ways for the day.
How were you supposed to explain any of this to your people, how were you supposed to just part ways with sunghoon after your last day tomorrow? Though you were glad that you got to spend so much time with him, you dreaded the thought that all of this would fade into a faraway memory after tomorrow.
Sunghoon seemed to have the same thoughts, because unlike the other days where he would find a way to surprise [aka make you scream and laugh at your misery] you at the hotel entrance, this time, he simply gave you a singular red rose, the camera tucked away into his pocket and his smile not really reaching his eyes as it usually does.
He also didn’t take the camera out as you started walking aimlessly around the city, more in hidden backstreets instead of at the center of the city as you usually would. Your conversation was also rather airy, never rising as it always does, since sunghoon never had an inside voice when he was with you.
You hated to spend your last day in such gloomy mood, but you were just oh so sad that you wouldn’t be seeing sunghoon after today and would be leaving the country in just two days.
“so,” you spoke up first, wanting to rid you two of this foul mood, “what do you want to do, today? We only ever do what I want.”
Sunghoon didn’t answer immediately. Rather, he looked down at your hands – you didn’t even notice that you began to hold his – before he spoke, “maybe, your hotel?”
What.
“uh-“ fuck, what did he just say, “what do you mean?”
Sunghoon must have realized what his answer sounded like as he watched your horrified expression, “ah! No, no, honey, wait i- I mean, comfortable, we can, just, uh, talk.” His cheeks were covered in a peachy hue as he tried to explain himself.
Laughing at his face, you nodded and started pulling him along, “okay, hoonie. Lets get comfortable!”
----------------------------------------
Well, comfortable where exactly? On the singular king-sized bed, or maybe the wooden stool that held your pajama’s that you had yet to pack away.
“you know what,” you didn’t care anymore, this was your last day, and you didn’t want to spend it in any awkward silence, “lets just lay down, they change the sheets anyway.”
Nodding to yourself as if to confirm your own statement, you crawl to your side of the bed and tap down next to you, inviting sunghoon to make himself comfortable. And he didn’t hesitate to follow through, laying down right next to you.
You turned to your side, eyes looking at his directly as he copied you, “hey.”
He chuckled, “hello.”
That ripped a breathy laugh from your throat, unfamiliar emotions clawing at your heart.
“hm, we still have to film a bit of our last day.”
“yes, but, not now. Later”
Sunghoon shifts a bit shuffling closer to your body, his right arm rising to caress your cheek.
“hoonie?”
Sniffling, he cleared his nose before pulling away, “oh, sorry.”
Shaking your head, you smiled up at him, “no, it- uh-, I liked it. it’s fine.”
“are you sad, uh, you-, today is our last day.” He asked, tongue quickly sliding across his lower lip.
“I mean, yeah,” you shrugged, “it was really fun with you, even though you are really mean.”
You think back to yesterday at the karaoke booth, in which sunghoon laughed at you as if his lungs were cabled to a box, his strong voice bouncing off the walls as you tried your very best to sing along the unfamiliar sing he had chosen for you.
You only ever slapped his chest when he laughed at you, but your anger quickly vanished when you listened to him sing whatever song you chose, his gaze at times directed at you as if he was speaking to you through the lyrics. You wished that you understood the text, but even though you didn’t, it still felt warm and cozy, especially as his gentle voice and his even gentler hands reached towards you.
How could you ever forget about him?
Sunghoon pinched your cheek gently as he laughed at your words, his laugh deepening at your usual reaction of slapping his chest, “you are, ah,” he pushed himself up to his elbow, now looking down at you as he searched for the correct words, “you are easy to, uh- make fun.”
Gasping at his words, you also pushed yourself up, face now close to his as you balanced your upper body on your hands, “stop! I will bite! I really do, my mom told me that I used to bite others in kinderga-“
You were interrupted when sunghoon covered your eyes with his hand and leaned in to press a quick peck at the corner of your mouth, catching you off guard.
“huh?”
You look at him confused as he pulled away, now leaning his upper body against the headboard of the bed and refusing to meet your confused gaze.
You sat up straight, leaning toward him, each arm at one + side of his hips, yet he still refused to meet your eyes, looking up as you moved your face closer to his. The bedsheets rustled with each movement of your bodies, and you could see the tiny hair on his face.
“hoonie?”
“ah, honey, I just-“ he finally snaps, his hands wrapping around your waist to pull you into a hug, “don’t forget me, okay?”
Once again, “huh?”
You tried to pull away, your own hands now resting at the side of his neck, “sunghoon, hoonie,” you pressed your thumbs against his cheeks to make his eyes face you, “why would I ever forget about you? I should be the one saying that! Don’t forget about me! Okay?”
Sunghoon placed each of his hands on top of yours, gently squeezing them as he nodded, “okay.”
His voice came out rather meek, and you somehow struggled to believe that someone who was rumored to be cool and collected could sound so vulnerable.
“okay.”
---------------
Unfinished work alert!
This has been written in one sitting, I have not proofread anything and sunghoon is so out of character it hurts. But as I said, I just wanted to write it down and I believe that maybe even one of you would like it!
jude bellingham x reader
he knows that you like him, and even though he does not reciprocate your feelings, he simply can't stay away from you - giving you false hope over and over again, until... well, until you decide to move on.
you always had a soft spot for Jude, ever since the two of you met and became good friends, you quickly realized that saying 'no' to him would never be an option.
you first met through a mutual friend back in germany, gio reyna, whom you met because of your university course and such. it was a pure coincidence, you just needed something from him and went to pick it up after he had finished training, and that is where you first met him - jude bellingham.
it wasn't all cinematic, no emotion came crushing down on you when your eyes first met. instead, it was quiet, creeping up from behind, lurking in the shadows and gently taking a hold of you until you couldn't fight it off any longer.
what first began with a harmless follow request on instagram, later evolved into exchanging numbers and talking on a daily basis.
while you worked on your seminar presentations, jude would simply hit you up with a message, asking whether you wanted to hang out with him and a few friends or not. you were a studious person, pushing back your presentation wouldn't be bad, just for a night.
perhaps that is when you should have noticed it, that giddiness, that weird feeling in your stomach and the deep breaths you took every now and then, trying to calm your nerves- from what, you didn't know back then. now, you are aware, though it doesn't matter anymore.
you knew that jude was, or well, still is, a handsome guy, anyone with functioning eyes could tell that much. you were also well aware how popular he was with the ladies; charming smile, British accent, his big, sparkling eyes and the respectful stance he had whenever he talked to someone was enough to sweep anyone off their feet - even you.
so, when the evening you decided to meet up arrived, your hands nervously dancing along the hem of your shirt, eyes darling around the bar, searching for his broad figure, you were met with a gut that shouldn't have shocked you as much as it did back then.
it was stupid, really, getting hurt by such sight. him being surrounded by a few stunning women, who were definitely older than him, not that jude cared, apparently. young, handsome, and successful, who wouldn't want to indulge in that?
but you bit through, you still had a great time with your, actually his, friends, got a few new connections and talked with jude as well, though it wasn't as long as you wished.
a beat, and suddenly you found yourself being friends with jude for a year already, and you still could not decline whenever he invited you out, only to not pay you any attention. you had told your friends about the situation, though you never mentioned it was the young bvb star you had a bright future ahead of him. and your best friend would always tell you to get your shit together, to realize how badly you were being treated and that you deserved better.
but they didn't know him - not in the way that you did! he wasn't like that, no. because at least once during the evenings you spent together, he comes up to you, broad smile and pearly whites flashing, his arms inviting you for a hug. then, he'd ask you about your day, tell you something about his, and would always, always, hype you up if you felt insecure about your studies. because that's who he is, one of the kindest people ever.
you couldn't tell when he knew, you couldn't even tell when you did. but somehow along the lines, perhaps during one of your outings, he must have come to the very true conclusion that, oh, would you look at that - you liked him. even more than as just a friend.
you guess that is why he started to invite you out even more, though for the most bizarre reasons ever; he needed someone to pick him up from the club in the middle of the night, and he'd contact you.
at first you told yourself that it was due to the fact that he trusted you, more than anyone. a sweet lie, you chuckle as you think back to that time. how nervous you felt, trying your very best to look good even though he was wasted and wouldn't even look at you, too tired to keep his eyes open.
and that was how it always played out; he would call you if he needed someone to drive him somewhere, called you when he was bored and his other friends were too busy to hang out, called you because you always said 'yes'.
jude wasn't a bad person, he was still one of the kindest people you knew, even if he treated you as a last resort, he'd still keep the conversation going, still laughed and joked around with you, made you feel appreciated, he genuinely did!
you just wished that he would perhaps invite you to a game, give you his shirt to wear as you would watch him run around the field. you'd never lift your eyes off of him, you would dedicate so much to him.
he simply didn't care, you assume now. you can remember it as if it was just yesterday, when he told you that he invited someone else to a very important game.
"yeah, we went on a few dates, she also wants to watch me play." jude chuckled, growing as he stretched his arms to loosen up some tension built in his shoulders, "i'll try to score and dedicate it to her, bet she'll fall for me then."
and all you could do was muster up a smile, praying that it was convincing enough, all while you felt your heart slowly crumble down inside of you, scratching along your flesh.
you didn't cry, no, you weren't that sensitive, you guess. but it still hurt, watching him just move on with his life, looking at everyone with a certain interest, everyone but you.
that was when the self doubt came nagging on your ears, then moving up to your mind, ugly nails clinging along your head. it served as a constant reminder that he would never give you the chance you deserved - you deserved him.
you always helped him, never declined any of his offer! who else, if not you, could stand by his side and support him through thick and thin?
though, it seems to be true that even the most passionate among us could lose their spark. even if you still hoped him whenever he asked for help, you found yourself caring less and less about your appearance. suddenly, whenever his name popped up in your notifications, instead of your heart speeding up, you began to sigh in exhaustion, sitting your eyes to calm yourself before you answered.
and even though you still could never say 'no' to him, you found another way to not jump at any request he sent your way - you simply ignored his messages. or well, you muted them, causing you to see his messages hours after he had sent them.
your friends must have also noticed the shift in your attitude towards that guy you liked, because all of a sudden, you'd agree to meet up with them to go out for some drinks, something you usually had declined in case that jude called for you.
you even flirted with some guy, enjoying the attention that you had sought from another previously. even though you didn't want anything serious to happen with that guy, and as mean and selfish as it sounds, the attention you got from him that night boosted your confidence quite a bit. it made you realize that you were never the problem to begin with.
all these negative emotions, all the doubts, all the self consciousness you felt back then comes rushing down at you as you find yourself standing in front of a confused jude.
yo can't explain how he has found you, since you are still on university grounds, but that isn't the main focus of the situation you are currently in.
there he is, looking as handsome as ever, fresh trim and comfortable clothes, his eyes narrowed down at you.
"what is wrong with you?" he demands, the respectful tone you once oh so liked seemed to be gone.
flatly, "what?"
you have better things to do now, and if he couldn't get to his pint properly, you simply would walk away.
your eyes watch him as he takes a deep breath, as if to calm himself before he speaks up, "I called you so many times, yesterday, the day before. is your phone broken? want me to get you a new one?"
you don't know if it is to provoke him, or simply just to show it to him, but you hold your phone up, waving it slightly, "nope, still in tact."
that seems to anger him, "then why," he starts, voice falling deep, "why aren't you answering whenever i call you-"
"exam season, i'm kinda busy, you know?"
"too busy to talk for five minutes?"
"I guess."
he scoffs, hands placed on his hips, "i got some news, and, yeah. i guess you'd like to know."
of course, you did. you always do, but you don't want to fall into the same pattern that ate you up those last years. so, instead of saying anything, you decide to keep quiet, though your eyes are still focused on him, as if to tell him to continue.
he picks up your demand, "i'm transferring to madrid, i'll be moving next week."
you know you promised yourself to be nonchalant, you really try, but after hearing the new, you feel your mouth dry up.
your eyes widen slightly, and your throat seems to close up as well.
fucking...
"oh," you clear your throat, "well, uh, congrats! you always wanted to play there."
even though you genuinely meant it, it seems like your words madden jude more than ever, "that's it? 'congrats'?"
"what else do you want me to say? do you want me to cry and beg you to stay here?"
jude turns his head to the side, briefly closing his eyes. his tongue pokes against the inside of his cheek, and it looks like he tries his very best to stay calm, as if he couldn't believe what you just have said to him.
"why are you being like this?" is what he asks instead, now looking back at you.
this time, it is you who scoffs, not believing what you are hearing right now, "listen, i am genuinely happy for you, jude-"
"oh, so now we are back to first name basis, huh?" he interrupts, saying your name in a tone colder than you have ever witnessed.
whatever.
you continue, not in the mood to go along with his tantrum, "i am happy for you, and will always support you, but - yeah. i, uh, i gotta now, i have a date-"
"with whom?" he interrupts once again, but you don't care anymore.
"so, i guess i'll see you? maybe? yeah." you nod, whether it is to convince him or yourself, you don't know. but you have to leave right now, or else you might break down and yell at him.
without even looking at him, you force a smile, turn your head away and continue your walk towards the library, like you have had initially planned before jude cut you off.
the tension creeps to your shoulders, the books in your arms suddenly heavier than ever.
that hurt more than you'd like to admit.
but, it's too late anyway.
-----------
i am in love with my hot italian literature lecturer. like,,, yeah <3
Summary: for a new series for their youtube channel, the company has decided to invite seven fans, and or casual k-pop listeners, to spend a week with one of the members of the popular group „enhypen“ ! and lucky [are you really?] you, and thanks to your cousin wanting to tease you a bit, you have been selected to spend a week with park sunghoon! Not only is it that you now have to spend half of your two-week vacation with a complete stranger. It’s just, well, it seems that the two of you are somewhat get along way too well even though you have just met.
Idol!sunghoon x foreigner!reader / strangers2? / out of character sunghoon? / both are so awkward, please send help / but they are trying their very best, ok / fluff / no smut / maybe some tension? / no slow burn! / kinda right person wrong time, maybe?/ I have no idea where this is going / im not even an enhypen fan, but I have had this one specific scenario in my head for the past week and need to write it down or else- / idk. / open end? / maybe angst?, who knows / love goes beyond language type beat
[name] is not a real person, and she won’t be you 100%! This is a fictional setting, I do not know park sunghoon and therefore can only guess how he would be in such setting. I hope to not offend anyone, but please also remember to be kind and understanding. Thank you.
Bold text: Korean
Cursive text: readers native language (if English happens to be your native language, idk. It could also indicate a dialect)
Normal text: english
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Cool wind bit on your cheeks as you stood outside the meeting point given to you by the company, your scarf only shielding you up to your mouth. Your gaze was directed down to your shoes, the ones your cousin had picked out because she couldn’t have you “embarrass her on national tv”, her direct words, not that you could have said anything against it.
Or maybe you could, should have done that. Then you wouldn’t be standing here in the cold, heartbeat echoing in your ears and the feeling of your fingertips lost.
If only you had shut up about this new series of the company, then your cousin wouldn’t have jokingly applied there in your name, claiming that you wouldn’t get picked up anyway since you were in Korea to spend your winter vacation, nothing else.
Should you fix your hair one last time? you still had five more minutes before the actual meeting happened.
Keeping your sigh down was harder that you have anticipated as thousands of thoughts swirled across your mind, the uncertainty of it all weighing down on your chest. You didn’t even know which member of the group you would be meeting, believing the camera team that will be following you wanting to get a raw and unfiltered reaction of you. Shit, you didn’t even know how to act in front of the camera, and a stranger whose fanbase would hunt you down of you were to offend him in any way. Maybe you should run away while you still can, it’s not like they would be able to find you.
Yeah, you should definitely do that.
Determined, you rose your gaze from your shoes to look up front, only to be met with the sight of two women, hiding the lower part of their face behind a mask, their eyes indicating that they were smiling at you.
“that must be her, huh?” you heard one of them speak up, not understanding anything.
After all those years watching bts run videos, one might think that you would pick up at least a bit of Korean, yet to no avail.
“excuse me,” one of them approached you gently, her voice quiet, “are you [name]?”
You cleared your throat before speaking up, hoping that your voice wouldn’t crack.
“yes, I am waiting to be picked up by Na Seon-In.” you replied, head nodding along your words.
Fuck, it was actually happening. This can’t be, you didn’t think that they were actually coming, or actually, you hoped that they have forgotten about you, freeing you from your anxiety and this dread of meeting an actual fucking k-pop idol. A young one at that, someone who was around your age. Fuch, fuck fuck-
“that is me! We thought you wouldn’t be able to find the place!” she spoke up enthusiastically, turning around to tell the other woman something in korean.
You actually struggled greatly to find this place, apple maps not helping at all. Thankfully you had asked some kind strangers to help you out, the language barrier lifted as one of them also spoke English fluently.
Miss Na Seon-In turned around to face you once more, her voice laced with the previous excitement, “let’s go inside a café, there we can talk everything over before it begins.”
Nodding, you follow the two women to a nearby café, your toes staring to hurt after standing in the cold so long. You are definitely getting a hot chocolate; you can’t afford to move like a robot when you meet the idol.
-----------------------
You set your cup back down on the table, eyes looking at the document Miss Na Seon-In placed in front of you, while explaining the content of the contract at the same time.
The café was relatively empty, only two other couples besides your group sitting inside, the lights dimmed down even though it was only nine in the morning and slow r&b music seeping through the boxes.
“you will spend the first hour with the camera by yourself, walking around and looking at the city, this is all to get the viewers to know you before you meet the member, of course you can go wherever you want,” she explained, using the pen in her hand to guide you through the bullet points on the contract, “then you can give the camera to one of our staff, the filming will be done by the member for the first day.”
“tell her to stay close by, so she doesn’t get lost before they meet.” Choi Ha-Rin spoke up, looking at her friend before sending you a kind smile.
You met her smile with one of your own, understanding the struggle of not being able to communicate in a certain language when needed. Fuck, you hope that you get paired up with jake or jay, at least then the non-existent language barrier would lessen your worries.
“ah, yes!” Seon-In exclaimed, head snapping back to you, “Ha-Rin said that it would be better for you to stay close this area, just so you don’t get lost!”
Nodding, you smile at the two, “it would be better for everyone involved, I guess.”
The briefing session continued for another thirty minutes before they showed you how to work with the camera, explaining all the different setting and also showing you the best angles to film yourself from. As they continued to talk about the upcoming events, the realization that you would actually meeting a k-pop idol started settling down, your shoulders cramping up and your hands colder from your nervous sweat.
If it wasn’t for the clause of not talking about the events until after the week, you would have immediately gotten your phone out to talk to your cousin, she would definitely know how to calm you down.
Fuck, why would she sign you up anyway? Didn’t she know that she would be spending the first half of the day on her own for the entire week? How dare she betray you like this? You should have taken her last piece of her favorite snack while you still had the time, she didn’t deserve the happiness of enjoying herself anymore, you will be getting your revenge.
Your hate train for your cousin is interrupted as the two women guide you to the exit of the café, Seon-Ins kind voice somewhat soothing your worries.
It was too late to regret; you will do your very best! This is something others could only dream of! Instead of embarrassing yourself, you will try to show a charming and kind side of yourself to the world! And then, you will take revenge!
---------------------------
You can only scoff at your past self as you found yourself sitting in front of the camera recording you, the background showing the park draped with a certain noon sleepiness, the leaves of the tree next to you rustled gently. You could feel your butt cooling down as you shifted in your seat on the bench, your fingers once again turning red from the wind.
Showing your kind and charming self to the world? Yeah right. You were sitting in front of the camera without saying anything for the past ten minutes must have been really charming. You felt bad for the person that was going to edit this footage, it would be a real pain to find anything useable that would introduce you the viewers. You attempted to speak up every now and then, paring your lips, eyes dancing around the void park in hope to find the right thing to say.
You cleared your throat for the nth time before deciding thatit was enough embarrassment for the day and started to speak your very first word to the camera.
“okay, I, hm,” you shift in your seat once more, “talking to a camera is harder than it seems, as I was only ever watching others speak to the cam.”
Okay, not bad.
You bit along your lower lip, using your free hand to push away some of your hair from your forehead.
“I was told to spend some time by myself before I would meet, uh, the, yeah, the idol. I have no idea who it is,” this time you rose from your seat to walk towards a convenience store across the street, wanting to free your mind from unnecessary worries, “I don’t even know how to prepare myself; I just hope not to embarrass myself, for real.”
Sighing, you enter the store and are immediately met with warm air and a worker from the store, greeting you with a rather tired voice from standing next to the door for god knows how long, “lets see…”
You continued to film yourself, and at times also showed some of the store, trying to get more comfortable.
“should I buy something for the member?” you ask into the camera, looking directly at the lens before looking along the shelves once more, “maybe a key chain? Or, like, a plastic flower? Maybe a heating pad?” you bent down to look at the different heating pads, the prices acceptable.
Before you knew it, you found yourself talking more and more to the camera while also walking around the shelves of the store, time suddenly flying by, which causes you to pay for everything you bought in a hurry and speed walking towards the second meeting point.
“fuck, I, oh, sorry- i- I didn’t realize how much time already passed!”, you spoke while looking down to avoid tripping on the stairs, coming to a hasty halt when you finally arrived, “thank god, it seems that I am not too late.” You smile at the camera, a little cloud forming in front of your mouth as you breathed out the breath you didn’t know you were holding in, the excitement coming down crashing on you.
You knew that you were now supposed to film yourself to catch your reaction when seeing the member, but fuck, you really want to turn it off and take a minute to calm down our nerves.
The streets were busier than before, people now leaving their workplaces to go out for their lunches, students walking home and drivers honking at whatever crossed their paths. How were you supposed to know who the member was? Would he be able to find you, instead?
“okay,” you filmed yourself looking around the streets, not noticing a figure in dark clothes approaching you from behind, “he should be here any minute now.”
The member came to a halt two steps behind you, his cap and face mask leaving only his sharp eyes to be exposed. He wouldn’t admit it, but he, too, felt quite nervous. And that nervousness only doubled when he found out that the person he was about to meet didn’t speak any Korean. He knew that the company did this on purpose to get more material, but he wouldn’t make a fool out of himself.
Just as he was about to speak up, you turned around and got startled when you saw a man standing right behind you, his tall frame and dark clothes adding to the shock.
“oh my god,” you caught yourself speaking out before you could find your composure, eyes widening, “i- uh.”
The camera was still directed at our face, perfectly catching your off-guard expression.
“hello.” He bowed down his head, keeping his voice quiet, “I am sunghoon.” He spoke out carefully, his tongue wetting his lips under his back facemask.
You cleared your throat, copying his bow and introducing yourself as well.
aint no way that they would do this to you.
It wasn’t that you did not like sunghoon, no. you thought that he was a very interesting character, but, well. He didn’t speak any English, at least not as much as you hoped.
The both of you then stood there, quietly starring at the other for an entire minute. Your arm stayed up high, this time turning the camera to film the two of you.
Okay, so you saw him. What now? What did Seon-In say you were supposed to do after meeting? You introduced yourselves as anyone else would do if they are supposed to meet with someone they didn’t know. Okay. Cool.
“okay,” sunghoon spoke up first again, determined to make the best of the situation, “we can, uh, go to, café, and- uh- crew is there.” He tried to hold back the cringe he felt from hearing himself speak english, hoping that you understood him to know what he wanted to do. It seemed just as him, you were also unsure what to do next, whether it was due to the shock of meeting him or simply because you genuinely didn’t know.
He looked down into your eyes, watching as they lit up in realization, “okay! Yes! Thank you so much!” you bow down your head once more, wanting to respect his culture. You smiled up at him, grateful that he seemd to understand how you were feeling.
Sunghoon found himself copying your smile, his finger pointing towards the camera, “I can- uh- film.”
You looked at the camera one last time before handing it over to him, happy to grant your arm some rest.
You stepped forward, signalizing that you were ready to go to the café he was talking about, watching him as he adjusted the camera angle to film the two of you from above. That is how you spent the walk to the café, quietly walking next to each other, looking at your surroundings and greeting each other with an awkward smile whenever your eyes met. You could, however, not see sunghoon smile at you, as he was still covering his face with a mask that he did not take off until you finally settled down at a table in the café, the camera now placed at the edge to film you two.
After meeting with other crew members, who told you both what you were supposed to do today, you were once again left alone with sunghoon, sharing a somewhat comfortable silence.
This time, you decided that it was your turn to speak up first, “so, do you know what you want to eat?”
You watched him as his eyes snapped to meet yours before looking down at the menu again, lis tongue quickly wetting his lips, “I want, the, uh, tiramisu? Yes.” He nodded to himself, then looked back at you, “and you?”
“hm,” your eyes dance along the menu, happy to see that they have an English translation, “I think i- hm, do you want to share the strawberry cake with me?” you asked, looking at him.
Sunghoon gazed at you intensively, as if to make sure he understood you correctly, “you eat tiramisu, then, too?”
You sat up straight, happy that you seemed to communicate well with him, “yeah! If you want?”
All he did was nod before calling the waiter over to your table, ordering your cakes along with the drink of your choice. You couldn’t help but look at his side profile as he was still ordering everything, still unable to comprehend that you were deadass sitting in a café with a k-pop singer, about to share some cakes and what not. And this would be going on for the rest of the week.
Oh wow.
The silence returned once more as the waiter walked away to ring in your orders, the sound of other people inside blending into the background.
“so,” you sat up straight, hoping to make the best out of the situation, “how old are you?”
Someone fucking punch you in the face for being so awkward.
“I am,” sunghoon also sat up, pushing away a stray strand from his eyes, “twenty-three. My birthday, uh- was, two days ago.” He answered kindly.
Hearing that, you thought of the little gift you had bought for him at the convenience store, “oh! Wait!”
You turned in your seat to grab something out of your coat pockets, biting down on your lip to calm your nerves.
“here,” you push the heating pad and a snowflake key chain towards him, chuckling at the coincidence that the snowflake suited his name of “ice-prince” in the k-pop community, “happy belated birthday!”
Sunghoon stared down at the things in your hands, lips parted slightly. His expression was quite normal, you’d say, neither his eyes widened nor did he raise his eyebrows in surprise.
Though you could tell that he was somewhat taken aback from the sudden gift, as he could only open and close his mouth, searching for the right words to say.
Sunghoon didn’t know how to react, if he was being honest, since he did not expect anything like this. But seeing the excitement in your eyes, the apples of your cheeks rising as you smiled at him with such genuine intention, he couldn’t do anything but take the pad a d key chain from your hands, bowing his head slightly and smiling back at you just as happy.
“thank you very much, i-“ he swallowed down, “I am really happy, thank you.”
Fuck, he felt bad that he did not think of doing such kind gesture to you as well. You must think that he was rude or bothered to be here. He couldn’t even thank you properly.
So, he did what he was trained to do to express his gratitude and turned towards the camera to show it his new gifts.
“everyone, she even got me a late birthday gift,” he quickly flashed you a smile before he continued, “ah, I feel so bad now, I can’t even thank her properly.” Kissing his teeth, sunghoon once again thanked you.
You smiled at him, then looked at the waiter that suddenly approached your table to bring your cakes, your tea and sunghoons iced americano.
Now with your table filled with your orders, you picked up the camera to show it to the viewers, “here we have tiramisu-“ you begin, cutting off to chuckle as sunghoon starts to pick up the plate to enhance your presentation, “thank you, dear sunghoon!”
His eyes crescented as he smiled at your words, continuing with your presentation, “here, strawberry cake, and- uh, iced americano, and tea!” he finished, lifting each item towards the camera to get a closer look.
You moved to place the camera back to the edge, sunghoon however decided to take it off your hands to turn the lens towards you [and the table] instead, mumbling to himself, “here we can see the pretty view better…”
Unsure what he was saying, you simply threw up a peace sign and smiled at the camera, picking up the fork with your other hand.
“okay!” sunghoon clapped once, setting the camera back down and picking up his own fork. He couldn’t afford you two to stare off towards the other in silence, he had to take the reign. His showed his fork to the camera, gesturing to you to follow him suit.
Laughing, you copied his moves, “here, guys! Sunghoon will try the cake first, right?” you look back at him, your faces closer now that both of you leaned down to the camera.
Signaling with your fork down to the cake and then back at him, you watched as he nodded before eating a piece of the strawberry cake first.
You started at him as he tasted the cake, his eyebrows drawing together and his head slightly nodding, a clear sign that he liked the cake.
Smiling to yourself, you also take a piece of the cake, from the opposite side, and hum happily as you are met with the fresh take of the strawberries.
“that tastes so good.” You sighed, washing it down with a sip of your tea.
And after that, the two of you continued to talk about your preferences, what fruit was the best, which drink would be better, how iced americano was overrated [he scoffed at you, you refused to back down] and much more. Even though the language barrier was pretty prominent, you couldn’t deny that you quickly blended away the fact that you were casually chilling with a k-pop singer and discussing different opinions on food with him. Whenever sunghoon needed a word that he couldn’t remember in English, he used his phone to translate, at times even handing it over to you when he struggled to understand what you were saying.
You didn’t even notice how fast the time passed. After having left the café to walk around the busy streets of seoul, sunghoon had insisted to get you a hat and a mask as well to protect your privacy, which you didn’t understand as you used a new camera to continue filming your day.
“no, no, wait.” He had said, shaking his head unsatisfied with the hat you had picked out. The camera was in your hand, switching from showing your deadpan expression to his serious one, eyeing the two bucket hats in his hands. One was black, rather fluffy, perfect for the falling temperatures outside. The other was in a warm beige town, the fabric soft and thin.
“both colors look good on her, everyone,” sunghoon pushed his face towards the lens directed at him, scoffing, “I think,” he lifted the black hat, “this one, good.” He looked back at you for approval, nodding to his choice.
You took the hat from his hands, as he now began to film you, humming as you looked at the black hat deep in thought, “but then, you can’t even see my eyes.”
You quickly got used to use your hands while communicating with sunghoon, the both of you finding out that it made talking to each other easier.
“better, no can photograph your- uh, face.” He nodded, taking the hat back to pay for it.
You wished to speak up, wanting to tell him that he did not have to pay for it, though you understood very fast that it would not reach his ears. Even back then, at the café when you at least wanted to pay for your own order, it felt lie sunghoon was read to throw you across the room if you dared to bring that topic up again.
Following him to the cashier, you stood a step behind him and watched him pay for the head while also talking to the camera. Even though you had been in korea for a week already, you still had to get used to smiling with your eyes due to the mask blocking half of your face, so when sunghoon and you stepped out and he put the hat on your head, you leaned back to smile at him with your eyes, hoping to convey your gratitude.
Adjusting the hat, you turned your body toward him, “thank you, sunghoon, really.”
You believed that he also flashed you a toothy smile as you watched his eyes close up a bit, leaning down, “you call me, hoon.” He nodded confidently, pushing the camera high to capture you both at the same time.
You felt heat rush into your neck, slowly creeping up to your ears, as you heard him offer you to call him by a nickname. It must be due to how tired you were, you had been up since seven in the morning and had not the chance to rest so far. That must be why you felt so weird, why this kind offer if his made you feel so taken aback.
You cleared your throat, nodding, “okay, hoon.” Why were you feeling so embarrassed all of a sudden? And fuck, why did he have to say that in front of the camera, you could already feel the hate messages creeping into your dms. Did he hate the way you pronounced his name so much that he wished to help you out?
His airy chuckle reached your ears as the two of you began your walk towards your hotel.
As you reached a streetlight, you felt sunghoon suddenly come to a halt, looking back you before turning back to face the camera, “everyone,” he started, lifting his hand to wave at the camera, “today, we sleep now. We will start- uh, tomorrow, again, good night and see you.” He bowed his head and the pushed the camera closer to you, signaling you to wave at the camera as well.
“ah,” you straightened your back, copying his wave, “see you, everyone! We will be back tomorrow!” you copied him and switched back to your mother tongue, chuckling at his surprised face.
With the camera now turned off, you believed that your ways would part here now, and that you would see him again at the first meeting point tomorrow. Your shocked face must have been visible even with the mask and hat covering majority of your face, as sunghoon laughed and gestured to you that he would walk you back to your hotel.
“in dark, you have to help the girl.” He nodded, eyes all serious, not accepting words of protest.
Touched by his kind words, you quietly thanked him and told him the name of your hotel, which he seemed to know, as he began to walk immediately without any delay.
The air between you was filled with small talk, sharing some facts about the other, him laughing at your poor attempts of speaking any kind of Korean that you picked up from all those years of being a casual listener, and you mirroring that when he tried to pronounce one word in your native language.
Now standing in front of the entrance of your hotel, you turned to face him, unsure what to do.
As if he understood your dilemma, sunghoon moved to grab [you stopped questioning him entirely] your head and squeezed it through your new fluffy hat, wishing you a good night.
Scoffing, you gently slapped off his hand, “yeah, yeah. Good night to you, too, hoon.”
Laughing at your tone, he waved at you one last time and began to walk away, home, you believed. You watched his tall frame slowly disappear into the night, before walking into your hotel, straight to the elevator and up to your room.
------------------------------------
“okay, okay, I waited enough! Now tell me every little dirty thing you did!” your cousin whined as you finally settled into your shared kind sized bed, both of your faces covered by a korean skincare sheet mask.
Groaning, you swatted her hand on your shoulder away, “I signed an nda!” you began, shifiting in your position, “but it was very, hm, nice?” you couldn’t help but giggle, “I thought it would be so, like, I don’t even know, awkward? Uncomfortable? But it was good, his English isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”
“what are the chances of getting paired up with park sunghoon?” she laughed, leaning back while scrolling on her phone, “you think anyone saw you?”
You shrugged, “well, he bought me a hat and a mask, he might have felt something, or whatever.”
“twitter’s clean.”
“hm, well. Lets hope that it will stay a secret until the videos are released. Wouldn’t want him to be in, like, you know, a stupid scandal just because of a misunderstanding.”
You continued to talk well into the night, trying to avoid of talking about sunghoon and the things he told you, wanting to respect his privacy and the contract you had signed. And even though you quickly calmed down from meeting him after having spent the entire day with him, you couldn’t shake off the anticipation of seeing him again tomorrow. There was so much you’d like to talk to him about, places you’d like to see with him and his weird humor following you around. Even though you feel into a comfortable silence every now and then because it was hard to come up with a topic to talk about in the spot, sunghoon not even once had made you feel uncomfortable your weird in any way. Any sort of awkwardness that might have been rising as quickly covered by a weird noise he made or a bad joke he told you.
You sigh to yourself quietly. The soft snores of your cousin sleeping next to you, the tiredness in your muscles and the warmth you felt with the thought of seeing sunghoon again tomorrow lull you into a dreamless slumber.
-----------------------------
Leaving the warmth of the hotel lobby and stepping outside into the cold morning air draped over korea took more courage than you’d like to admit. You did not have the same privilege to sleep in as your dear cousin did back inside, and now you also ahd to walk to the arranged place where you and sunghoon would meet for the entire week.
Just as you began to walk towards the direction, you heared a loud voice booming from hebind you and something grabbing your shoulder, making you yelp up.
“what the fu-“ you were interrupted by a familiar voice laughing at your shocked expression, eyes snapping down to watch sunghoon laugh at you bent over, the other hand tightly holding onto the camera that was filming him.
“I cant- I, honey,” he managed to talk out, now standing up straight to look at your deadpan expression, “I am sorry, but, you scream so, wah, loud.” He continued to giggle, now pushing the camera towards you.
Scoffing, you pushed his hand out of your face and walk away, not in the mood to be the victim of his mean pranks.
“leave, I don’t want to talk to you anymore!” you groaned, desperately fighting off the smile that crept onto your lips.
You even wore the hat that he got you yesterday, and this is how he treats you first thig in the morning?! Rude.
You continued your aimless walk, ears picking up on his footsteps following you from behind. He was also talking to the camera, though you had no chance to understand what he was saying.
Sunghoon called out your name, now standing right next to you, “I am sorry, okay? Lets go- shopping? Maybe. I will buy you, uh, things.” He had his mask pushed down, revealing his his subtle smirk that he tried to hide away from you.
Thanks to the entire day you spent together yesterday, Sunghoon quickly got to understand that you were a very expressive person when you felt comfortable, and what better way to melt the nice between the next day by scaring you when you least expected it! and oh, was he glad that he did that, no one could have prepared him about how funny you would react!
He bit back a smile as you whined at him, complaining about his approach and even though he did not understand every single word that you uttered at him, he couldn’t help but hang onto your lips, wanting to hear everything that left them.
He turned back to the camera, laughing, “she is very, uh, dramatic, yes. It wasn’t even that scary, honey, you can calm down.”
Your eyes widened, “what?! Do you know how weird that- ugh. No. I don’t-. forget it I forgive you.” You shook your head; hands stemmed on your hips as if surrendering to his nonsense.
And that is how you started your second day of the week with sunghoon, once again walking around, talking even more than you did yesterday, lightly teasing the other and complaining about it to the camera as if it was some kind of supervisor that would aid you if the other was doing too much.
Other highlights of the day were also when you found a restaurant that sold food from your home country, where you turned to sunghoon and begged him to try out some with you, just to check if it was authentic or not,
“c’mon, hoonie, it is really good! You can eat japchae whenever!” you moved closer to him, the camera capturing the two of you walking along the somewhat busy streets, any sign of awkwardness somehow vanishing as time moved on.
And how could sunghoon even say no to your wishes, the way your voice rose with each word and your head tilting to the side. He never really liked standing too close to people he wasn’t entirely comfortable around, and even though he had only met you just yesterday, he also knew that he didn’t feel anything weird by being so close to your body. Quite the opposite, if he was being honest. He liked the sound your jackets made when they rubbed against each other, liked the gentle bumps that followed because for some reason you could walk in a straight line.
Mock groaning to tease you a little, sunghoon agreed and followed you inside the small restaurant, nose met with the smell of strong spices and warm food.
As soon as he placed the camera down at the edge of the table as he is used to, he couldn’t take his eyes off your excited face anymore, a smile of his own creeping onto his lips as he watched to talk in your native language to the restaurant owners and ordering whatever you wanted for the two of you.
Usually, he would be careful with how he acted around you, as you were a woman and his fans could at times react rather, how shall he word it, intense, whenever a person of the opposite sex was involved. And he was trained, he knew how he had to act, was no stranger to the whole public figure life codes and what not, but who cared. If his company was actually against him being genuine with someone else, they would have not make him and the other members spend a week with a stranger. It was bound to happen, getting comfortable, he meant.
And with this comfortable feeling and much more, this day also slowly came to an end. After getting something to eat and also getting some drinks to go, sunghoon kept his promise and actually took you to a shopping center, buying you some skincare products and a ring that you planned on gifting your cousin, as you told him before.
“so, your cousin is- here? In korea?” he asked, camera inside his pocket, as he decided to walk around with you without filming. He believed that you got enough footage for the day, and would only film again when it was time for you to go back to your hotel.
You nodded, eyes looking up at his, “yeah, she spent a year here and has friends she can meet,” you began, taking a sip from your tea, “i was sad that she would be alone while we are together, you know?”
Sunghoon hummed, his arm brushing against yours, “she can, uh, meet my friend. Members, you know?”
Sunghoon felt heat creeping up his cheeks as he watched you laugh at his words, head falling back, “who knows, maybe she can also spend a week with him?”
There has never been a time in which he was more grateful to have known jake as he does now, thanks to him and his constant bickering with jay in english, sunghoon is able to understand quite a lot of what you are saying. His only wish was to be able to speak to you just as comfortably as you do.
“yeah, maybe.” He agreed, looking around.
Where else could he take you? What else would interest you?
Just as he wanted to take out his phone to google some locations, you closed your hand around his bicep, stopping him from walking any further, “hoonie!”
“yes?”
“are there any art museums we could go to?”
“art?” he asked again, watching you nod, “wait a minute, I think…” he drifted away deep in thought, thinking of what way would be the best to reach the museum in seoul.
“maybe,” he began, straightening his back, “we go with taxi, to, uh the- museum. 10 minutes.”
And that is how you found you guys at the entrance of the Korean national art museum in seoul, camera in hand to film your spontaneous trip,
“hey guys!”, you started, moving closer to sunghoon to put the tow of you in the frame, “we decided to come to the museum! And now hoonie and I will rate the stuff here,” you faced him, “okay?”
Sunghoon just looked down at you, his face covered by a mask and hair hid by a beanie, “okay.”
And that is how you two speed-walked through different sections of the museum, pretending to be serious art critiques and rating every piece.
At times sunghoon would even go so far and claim that he could do the same piece with his left foot [he mostly relied on body langue to get the message through, but you understood] and laughed until your stomach hurt.
“ya,” he called out, taking the camera out of your hand to film you instead, “honey, go there and uh, walk like model to me.” He barley finished his sentence when he couldn’t hold back anymore and began laughing at your poor attempt to catwalk, the empty section you were currently in easing your worries that someone else might see you.
You walked back to him as he turned off the camera, his hand hovering at the small of your back to guide you to the next floor,
“why is it so empty today?” you asked, eyes only ever catching a few people either entering or leaving the room.
“oh,” he began, taking out his phone, “today, uh, is holiday at university. Many people go there.” He explained, handing yo over his phone.
“picture?” you asked, as if it was something you had always done. And well, today, you kinda did. Whenever sunghoon wanted you to take a picture, he just handed you his phone and walked to the place he wanted to be seen. As you had explained to him yesterday, you weren’t really allowed to use you phone while you were with him, all to protect his privacy and such. So, whenever sunghoon felt like you or him wanted a picture of the place you were at, he gave you his phone and let you do whatever you wanted.
It felt weirdly intimate and, well, you couldn’t deny that it made your cheeks heat up. Who would have thought that sunghoon could be such an attentive and sweet guy?
As he came back to check the picture you made, you couldn’t help but look up at his face, heart forcefully beating against your rips.
“good?” your voice was just above a whisper, not trusting it at the moment.
Sunghoon hummed, turning his head to look right back at you.
Clearing your throat, you took a step back and handed him his phone back, stepping towards the exit floor, “it is late now, maybe we should head back?”
He simply followed you, his hand once more placed at the small of your back while his other hand called for a cap.
Well, fuck.
--------------------------------------
The rest of the week was spent with just as much teasing and sneaky gazes that never really met. For some reason, sunghoon tried to use the camera as little as possible, even though filming your day was the entire purpose of why you two even met up.
Though, you weren’t one to complain, actually appreciating the private moments that only ever stayed between you two.
The other days you either went to different cafè and once again pretended to be professional taste testers, other times you simply sat down on a bench with some snacks and taught the other words in your native language. Sunghoon even told you about some songs he planned on covering, told you about his plans for the future with the band and even about his family.
Ad you didn’t hold back either, telling him just as much about your future goals, your friends and family.
There were times where your hands brushed against the others as you somehow started walking very close to each other, times where you wished that he might hold your and even times when he actually did.
Maybe it was a great idea to buy big hats that would cover your face, as you couldn’t begin to phantom how you would be explaining to others that you were walking around seoul while holding hands with a k-pop idol. Though you also liked it, this intimacy that was wrapped behind a veil with only you and sunghoon actually knowing what was going on, or well, at least pretending as if you knew.
If you were being honest, you had no idea what was happening and why it came all of a sudden; this hand holding, the leaning into each other and whispering into the others ear; the pictures he started to take of you when he thought you weren’t looking and the hours you were desperately scratching together to not part ways for the day.
How were you supposed to explain any of this to your people, how were you supposed to just part ways with sunghoon after your last day tomorrow? Though you were glad that you got to spend so much time with him, you dreaded the thought that all of this would fade into a faraway memory after tomorrow.
Sunghoon seemed to have the same thoughts, because unlike the other days where he would find a way to surprise [aka make you scream and laugh at your misery] you at the hotel entrance, this time, he simply gave you a singular red rose, the camera tucked away into his pocket and his smile not really reaching his eyes as it usually does.
He also didn’t take the camera out as you started walking aimlessly around the city, more in hidden backstreets instead of at the center of the city as you usually would. Your conversation was also rather airy, never rising as it always does, since sunghoon never had an inside voice when he was with you.
You hated to spend your last day in such gloomy mood, but you were just oh so sad that you wouldn’t be seeing sunghoon after today and would be leaving the country in just two days.
“so,” you spoke up first, wanting to rid you two of this foul mood, “what do you want to do, today? We only ever do what I want.”
Sunghoon didn’t answer immediately. Rather, he looked down at your hands – you didn’t even notice that you began to hold his – before he spoke, “maybe, your hotel?”
What.
“uh-“ fuck, what did he just say, “what do you mean?”
Sunghoon must have realized what his answer sounded like as he watched your horrified expression, “ah! No, no, honey, wait i- I mean, comfortable, we can, just, uh, talk.” His cheeks were covered in a peachy hue as he tried to explain himself.
Laughing at his face, you nodded and started pulling him along, “okay, hoonie. Lets get comfortable!”
----------------------------------------
Well, comfortable where exactly? On the singular king-sized bed, or maybe the wooden stool that held your pajama’s that you had yet to pack away.
“you know what,” you didn’t care anymore, this was your last day, and you didn’t want to spend it in any awkward silence, “lets just lay down, they change the sheets anyway.”
Nodding to yourself as if to confirm your own statement, you crawl to your side of the bed and tap down next to you, inviting sunghoon to make himself comfortable. And he didn’t hesitate to follow through, laying down right next to you.
You turned to your side, eyes looking at his directly as he copied you, “hey.”
He chuckled, “hello.”
That ripped a breathy laugh from your throat, unfamiliar emotions clawing at your heart.
“hm, we still have to film a bit of our last day.”
“yes, but, not now. Later”
Sunghoon shifts a bit shuffling closer to your body, his right arm rising to caress your cheek.
“hoonie?”
Sniffling, he cleared his nose before pulling away, “oh, sorry.”
Shaking your head, you smiled up at him, “no, it- uh-, I liked it. it’s fine.”
“are you sad, uh, you-, today is our last day.” He asked, tongue quickly sliding across his lower lip.
“I mean, yeah,” you shrugged, “it was really fun with you, even though you are really mean.”
You think back to yesterday at the karaoke booth, in which sunghoon laughed at you as if his lungs were cabled to a box, his strong voice bouncing off the walls as you tried your very best to sing along the unfamiliar sing he had chosen for you.
You only ever slapped his chest when he laughed at you, but your anger quickly vanished when you listened to him sing whatever song you chose, his gaze at times directed at you as if he was speaking to you through the lyrics. You wished that you understood the text, but even though you didn’t, it still felt warm and cozy, especially as his gentle voice and his even gentler hands reached towards you.
How could you ever forget about him?
Sunghoon pinched your cheek gently as he laughed at your words, his laugh deepening at your usual reaction of slapping his chest, “you are, ah,” he pushed himself up to his elbow, now looking down at you as he searched for the correct words, “you are easy to, uh- make fun.”
Gasping at his words, you also pushed yourself up, face now close to his as you balanced your upper body on your hands, “stop! I will bite! I really do, my mom told me that I used to bite others in kinderga-“
You were interrupted when sunghoon covered your eyes with his hand and leaned in to press a quick peck at the corner of your mouth, catching you off guard.
“huh?”
You look at him confused as he pulled away, now leaning his upper body against the headboard of the bed and refusing to meet your confused gaze.
You sat up straight, leaning toward him, each arm at one + side of his hips, yet he still refused to meet your eyes, looking up as you moved your face closer to his. The bedsheets rustled with each movement of your bodies, and you could see the tiny hair on his face.
“hoonie?”
“ah, honey, I just-“ he finally snaps, his hands wrapping around your waist to pull you into a hug, “don’t forget me, okay?”
Once again, “huh?”
You tried to pull away, your own hands now resting at the side of his neck, “sunghoon, hoonie,” you pressed your thumbs against his cheeks to make his eyes face you, “why would I ever forget about you? I should be the one saying that! Don’t forget about me! Okay?”
Sunghoon placed each of his hands on top of yours, gently squeezing them as he nodded, “okay.”
His voice came out rather meek, and you somehow struggled to believe that someone who was rumored to be cool and collected could sound so vulnerable.
“okay.”
---------------
Unfinished work alert!
This has been written in one sitting, I have not proofread anything and sunghoon is so out of character it hurts. But as I said, I just wanted to write it down and I believe that maybe even one of you would like it!
unedited, unfinished draft of something I had laying around for a while. I am not sure when I will be finishing this up.
summary: [name] promised herself not to get too attached to anyone or anything during her exchange year in America. a week in, she not only gets attached to a stray cat, but also to its owner, slowly but surely.
It wasn’t every day that she decided to leave her home and spend an entire day at campus without her headphones. Nor is it that she would ever decide such thing anyway, instead, it was time running faster than ever this morning, her alarm not ringing loud enough, the stove plotting against her, all of those causing her to forget more than just her headphones. Now she has to deal with the loudness of the people from this foreign, yet still somewhat familiar continent, the cars in the background, the little stones screeching under the pressure of her foot as she walks ahead.
Los Angeles is humid in that golden, almost disorienting way – air heavy with anticipation and car exhaust, with laughter and chatter carrying itself around the park. She has always liked spring, liked the way in which wearing just a hoodie or long sleeve shirt was enough to get by. Though [name] isn’t sure if it is the same here in America. Maybe it is her imagination, or maybe it is her brain that was washed by all the stuff she had seen about America back then, but the sun up high along with the greenery surrounding her made this spring afternoon feel hotter than ever.
She adjusts the strap of her heavy bag, suddenly missing her headphones even more.
The walk from campus to her apartment isn’t that long, filling her with relief that she is able to walk around a bit and not rely on any kind of transportation in form of a vehicle. Though it has been a week since she has arrived here in the states, [name] still must get used to a lot around here; the loudness, the touchy-ness and almost robotic friendliness of the people here a stark contrast to what she is used in her home country. She is halfway down the street leading to her apartment when she feels something fluffy brush against her ankle, almost like a gentle breeze. So, when she looks down to find a fluffy cat looking up at her with its big, yellow eyes, she almost jumps away.
An orange cat, quite cute actually, the way it looks up to her and gently meows. [name] doesn’t regret a thing as she crouches down and meows right back at it, her hand scratching its chin, a chuckle leaving her as the cat leans against her hand. [name] raises her head to look around, anything to find out if that little guy [at least, that is what she thinks it is] has an owner or someone looking for him. There isn’t a collar in sight, nor anything else that would help her make out where he has come from. And even though [name] wouldn’t mind spending the rest of her evening petting a cat and meowing at it, she still has some chores waiting for her back home, and a new chapter that she has to prepare for her seminar in the morning.
With a heavy sigh and even heavier heart, she straightens her legs and softly waves at the cat, a small, yet in her eyes very tragic, goodbye. She tries to continue her walk home, mind already preparing a small to-do list she plans to work through for the rest of her evening. Turning her head back one last time to see the cat, she finds herself come to a halt when she sees the cat standing next to her, head looking up, eyes focused on her.
“eh,” she begins, at a loss for words, “do you want more scratches?”
It must be that American air that made her ask a cat a genuine question.
She sighs, hands on her hips, “I really wish I could, but, I, I kinda have to leave, you know?”
The cat meows at her again, tone rather persistent if she may add.
[name] starts looking around once again, hoping to see a figure that is desperately looking for their cat, or anything, really. Though for the first time since she has set foot on American soil, she finds herself completely alone outside of her apartment, the streets echoing with each step she takes, no car in sight and no sound from any house merging.
Maybe if she just keeps walking without paying that little guy any mind, he’ll go home on his own. what if they live in the same direction? She can’t just shoo him away if that is the case now, can she?
That is how the two strangers find themselves in front of a closed door of [name]s apartment building, fluffy [that is what she has named him during their 5-minute walk] sitting next to her, as if it is the most normal thing on the world. As if they have always entered this building together or whatever.
“ugh, you can’t be-“ [name] pauses to take a deep breath, fingers clutching the bride of her nose as if she has witnessed the biggest disappointment to mankind, “you can’t be here, fluff. Really, don’t you think your family will miss you?”
All she receives is a small meow. [name] scoffs, of course that would be all she gets.
She squads down, eyes stern, “listen, I love you, okay?”
Orange eyes slowly blink back at her, as if it understands what she is saying.
“I feel weirdly connected to you, as if you are the first person – kinda thing - that has understood me here. But you gotta return home, man.”
The cat blinks back at her once more before it shakes his head as it sneezes.
“well,” [name] gets up, posture straight, “this is where we part.”
[name] throws herself onto her couch after she placed the bowl with canned tuna on the floor next to her small coffee table. She cannot believe that this thing has managed to convince her to let it crash at her place for the time being.
The quiet sound of wet food being eaten fills the silence of her small apartment, the smell of canned tuna filling her nose.
“ugh.” She groans, head resting against the back of her couch.
When she was told that America will be a crazy chapter in her life, she did not expect this. An orange cat, time management problems – which she never had before – and those weird schedule times of university courses.
Instead of letting her thoughts distract her, [name] decides it is finally time to get up and at least clean her kitchen. Or do something, really.
A chuckle leaves her throat as she thinks back to the time her mother told her that it seemed like she has bees up her ass, never sitting still, always somehow moving. Even though she is a self-claimed homebody. And now that homebody has to share her space with another homebody as it seems. At least she likes cats, she guesses.
That night, [name] finds herself sharing her bed with fluffy, who takes up more space than her, disregarding their sizes. He sprawls across her bed like a king, has already claimed every surface of her apartment within his first hour here, hissed at [name] when she moved to quickly, and he somehow still seems to like her. One paw presses against her arm, his soft purrs lulling [name] to a soft state, almost asleep yet still conscious. She didn’t talk to fluffy that much, besides a few meows here and there when she genuinely couldn’t resist anymore.
[name] figured that someone is probably missing him, and as soon as she finishes her classes the next morning, she will try to find any clue of a missing cat announcement or whatever. A new sense of determination pulses through her veins, fluffy’s soft snores easing her mind.
Yeah, that will do.
It isn’t until the next morning, outside a coffee shop near the street she found fluffy on, when her eyes catch a glimpse of a missing cat poster, its picture showing a cat with the same audacity as the one currently sitting inside her home.
LOST CAT — LUFFY
orange tappy, orange eyes, attitude problem.
last seen near UCLA campus.
REWARD.
please call: [number]
Huh.
[name] fishes out her phone from her back pocket and snaps a quick picture of the flyer with the intention of calling as soon as her classes finish.
Relief washes over her as she continues her way to campus. She would have killed to have a cat of her own, but getting attached while she is on an exchange program is simply too much of a risk she isn’t willing to take. She already loves fluffy – or well, luffy – a lot, but it will be the best option for both parties to sperate before any of them grows attached.
Studies first, attachment later.
Her gaze stays fixed on the ground as she moves along the trees, only ever rising when she feels someone get closer to her. A guy.
Oh, man.
He seems kind, she thinks, kinda. They all do, if she is being honest. [name] is aware that she has to get used to this very open and communicative culture that would become her new home for the next year, though she simply can’t bring herself to mirror everyone’s enthusiasm here.
“hey,” the blonde guy speaks up, voice laced with kindness with a hint of confidence, “saw you around yesterday and actually wanted to talk to you, but, like, you kinda vanished, and I didn’t get the chance anymore.”
She blinks once, “okay.”
“I’m jack.” He introduces himself, offering her his hand to shake, which she does.
“[name], nice to meet you.” She actually wants to smash her head against a wall for sounding so flat and disinterested. This is her chance to get connections, she has to pull herself together.
He flashes her his teeth in a cheeky grin, “you too! I know ‘t’s weird, like, why would I just come here, but I, uh, I saw that we share a class and there is this group project comin’”
[name] looks down at his lips in concentration, not wanting to miss anything he says. She must admit, he does speak fast, and the dialect is also something she has yet get used to.
“oh,” she straightens her back, “do you want to work together?”
“yeah! Would that be okay?”
She shrugs, she needs someone to work with anyway, “sure.”
After exchanging numbers, and another round of thank you’s from jack, both part their ways to move along with their days.
She fucking hates group projects.
The call was brief.
The voice on the other hand – a man, rather old, though not grandpa-age-old - thanked her profusely. Said he’d arrange a pick-up from her place, which she at first tried to decline.
But of course, people could be persistent, so now she is standing in front of her apartment building, freshly changed into comfortable clothes and face bare. She holds Fluffy in her arms as if he was a newborn, though the cat doesn’t seem to mind.
The person on the phone said that [name] would be able to recognize the person that would come to pick the cat up, and even though she highly doubts it because she has only been here for a week, she also stopped trying from the very beginning. She guesses that the person would understand who she is when they see her holding their cat in her arms.
“how long does it take” she murmurs under her breath to fluffy, who doesn’t pay her any mind and stays fast asleep inside her arms.
Lucky guy.
Just as she is about to annoy him some more, she hears a soft, almost hesitant voice from in front of her. [name] looks up and is immediately met by the sight of a tall guy. Hoodie half-on, hood up and cappy pulled down to hide his face. The sleeves of his hoodie are pushed up, revealing the ink dancing around his skin in an interesting formation. His right hand holds a carrier – for fluffy – and his other hand clutches around his phone.
[name] doesn’t mean to react, though she can’t help herself and take a step back, that tall and somewhat hidden appearance making a shudder run down her spine.
“oh,” she clears her throat, “you must be here for him, right?”
Stupid ass question, she scoffs at herself, of course he is.
“yeah,” his voice was deep, eyes briefly glancing at her before they focus on the ball of fluff sleepin inside her arms, “luffy, c’mon.”
He takes a step forward, [name] takes one back.
As she sees the confusion settling on his features – which are actually quite pretty, if she may say so – she speaks up to explain herself, “proof?”
“proof?”
“yeah, something that shows me he’s with you. What if you just pretend to be his owner or whatever” She gently pushes her arms forward as she gestures to luffy. She has heard some crazy stuff about Americans, she is not about to risk anything. Is that mean? She guesses so, but oh, who cares.
The man nods, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he whispers a small “fair.”, unlocking his phone to show [name] a rather, well, interesting picture of them both wearing cowboy hats and fake mustaches.
“here you go.” She mutters, holding her arms up for the stranger to take luffy, who seems not so pleased to see his owner. He even looks quite annoyed.
Luffy lets out a soft, miserable mewl, clinging onto her sleeve as the stranger in front of her encloses his hands around Luffy’s small body.
“I think he likes you more than he likes me.” He scoffs, rolling his eyes at his cats’ behavior.
[name] doesn’t say anything, just a gentle smile as she takes a small step back.
“thanks again, honestly.” He speaks up again, “and about the reward-“
“it’s fine.” She cuts him off, holding her hand up slightly to stop his hand from taking something out of his pocket.
A frown settles upon his handsome features, “no, it’s what was promised, like-“
“it’s really fine. Thank you.” She nods to emphasize her point.
“’ight. I ‘preciate it.”
[name] nods one last time, starting to walk towards the door at the same time the guy picks up the carrier to get along as well. Both smile at the other as a form to say goodbye.
And with that, she walks up the stairs.
[name] decides to meet up with jack that very week, the end of her first week here in the states. LA has finally shaken off its gloomy spring morning and has started to blister properly. She is still in a haze – assignments, essays, settling into her new apartment, faces that blend into each other – and the air around the campus is still to calm, students had to yet settle into the new semester.
As she places her bag onto the wooden table, jacks soft voice meets her ears halfway, laced with tiredness form the day before, “I fucking hate that guy, for real.”
She chuckles at his greeting, “yeah, it is quite mean, no?”
It’s not like she has never worked on a group assignment before; no. [name] has worked on a fair share of projects until now, her university somehow believing that group assignment would help students to get better grades. What she isn’t used to, though, is having a group assignment in her first week of the semester, the professor way to passionate in the way he talked about his expectations for the class.
“Where are you from, by the way.” Jack sits up as he asks her, eyes curious and brows raised.
[name] raises her eyebrows, “that obvious?”
Her accent has always been subtle, at least that is what she thinks. [name] has been speaking English for a long time, she had to. Schools valued it, and to be honest, all the fanfictions that are somewhat bearable are written in English, she has to know the language to appreciate fine arts.
Jack shrugs, shooting her a grin as he takes out his MacBook from his bag.
“[Country], you know. Multicultural and all.” She answers, spine straight as she sits down on the hard bench.
“that’s crazy.” Is all he says before both settle for a comfortable silence, eyes focusing on the document that explains their project requirements in great detail.
A gentle breeze caresses her cheeks, its warmth easing the tension in her upper body. Is she supposed to say anything else? Keep the conversation flowing, or should she stay quiet? This is why she isn’t a fan of group projects. What is she even supposed to do now? If given the chance, [name] would simply do all the work by herself, her experience with group projects breaking her trust in others regarding that topic. though jack seems to take it just as seriously, not once has he touched his phone nor tried to find reasons for why he couldn’t stay any longer. Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as it has been before.
Hope blossoms inside her chest. This could be her chance to start anew, grow and learn to be an optimistic person, instead of someone who doubts others before they could get any chance. Maybe being here, in a foreign continent, stuck between people who smiled way too much for her liking, would help her change her perspective of life as well.
Yeah, that is it.
She nods to herself, subtle but there. She will give jack a chance, she will try to reach out first as well. No more closing in, no more staying at home all day when she has the chance to go out and meet new people.
If she grows close enough to jack, who knows. Perhaps he would like her enough to introduce her to his own friends, just because he believes that she is cool enough, or whatever. [name] isn’t looking for any serious attachments here, anyway. All she wants it to fight against her own habit of closing herself off to people, she wants to step out of her comfort zone, even if it is just this one time.
At least, that’s what she has thought those few days ago, when her and jack just started to work on their project.
How was she supposed to know that he would grow to like her immediately afterwards? Yes, it was her that planned to change her ways during her stay in the states, but she also needed some time to make peace with her decision. She wasn’t aware of how it would lead her to her current situation, standing amid a garage sale with a group of guys she has never met before.
Even though the weather is mild and clouds filled the sky, the perfect time to have a quiet tea on her balcony, in her opinion, the loud voices of those guys jack has introduced her to find their place in this peaceful vibe.
While there are may other people here who want to wander through the different stands and leave some money for those who are selling, the sound of bargains and music stands no chance against jack and his crew, some of them even holding cameras to film their adventures.
[name] has yet to meet all of them, jack has told her before that some of his friends would arrive later due to an earlier schedule.
“I bet you guys would get along just fine, [name],” he began, voice rough after all the studying they had done, “you’re, like, a bit quiet, but, like, they all are cool and wouldn’t mind you taggn’ along, y’know.” He finished, hopeful that he could persuade his new friend to join him for his weekend activities.
“but-“ [name] started, unsure if she was mentally prepared to step out of her zone that fast.
Jack cut her off, blue eyes rolling, “nah, save it, man. I’ll textcha the location, ‘kay?”
She wants to go home.
She misses her couch, her book.
Hell, she even misses fluffy’s mean look even though it's been almost two weeks since she last saw him.
[name] is aware that jack seems to trust her enough to introduce her to his friends, but she is also aware that he cant stand next to her the entire time and make them wait for her grow more comfortable around her new environment.
They all seem so, how should she phrase it, energetic? Chaotic, maybe, if she is being honest. Loud conversation flowing around, laughter, shouting and weird movements fill in her senses. They kind of remind her of her cousins back home, just as wild and unpredictable.
“yo, vin!” the one with black hair yells out all of a sudden, arm raised in a greeting as his [fuck, she forgot his name], eyes focus on ‘vin’ behind her.
Curious, she tilts her head back to see the newcomer, and is met with a familiar sight. It feels like as if she has seen this guy before, his tall frame and sharp features ringing a bell inside her mind.
Dirty-blonde hair, a tank top that reveals many of his scattered tattoos along his sun-kissed skin, loose pants, and his phone in hand. He greets black-hair-guy with a big grin, eyes looking ahead and nowhere else.
Is he someone she might have seen on campus? Those tattoos, that nose piercing. She knows them from somewhere, her eyes narrow as she gazes down at the lawn, mind trying to find the right pieces.
“and this,” Jack comes up from her side, his warm and gently resting on her shoulder as he pulls [name] out of her thoughts, “is [name], exchange program and all, she’s pretty chill.”
[name] looks up to face the guy that has just arrived, watching as his eyes widen a bit from the sight of her.
So she is right, they do know each other, kinda.
“that’s vinnie, vin, vincent-“
Vinnie interrupts his friend with a tight smile, arms crossing in front of his chest, “vinnie’s enough.” He clears his throat, slightly shifting in his stance, “[name], right? Uh, like, how, how have you been?”
Jack seems happy with his work, squeezing her shoulder one last time before he moves back to joke about something with the others, at least, that’s what [name] thinks.
[name] mirrors his actions, crossing her arms, quickly glancing to her side as if to collect her thoughts, “good, thank you. Uh, this, okay this sounds weird, but have we met before? I know we did, but I, yeah.”
It seems as if a new sense if realization washes over vinnie when he hears her question, lips pulling into a soft smile.
“I came to pick up the cat, almost been a week.”
Her eyes widen a bit, suddenly the face in front of her matching with the one she has seen last week, “oh! How is he?”
Vinnie laughs at her question, his hand reaching up to scratch his nape, “uh, yeah, he’s fine, a bit of a troublemaker, like, always. But he’s good. Thanks again for taking care of him.”
[name] feels herself break into a bright smile, the news about her first friend here somehow filling her with a certain warmth.
“you are very welcome, i’m glad he’s okay.”
And that’s how the two of them find themselves in a, well, comfortable?, silence, glancing around the garage sale, taking small steps ahead as they somewhat decided to just walk around. [name] did say that she wants to make more connections and step out of her comfort zone, though what is she supposed to do now?
She subtly [she hopes it is subtle] looks up at his tall figure every now and then as they continue their walk in silence, eyes soaking in his sharp features. Up from his eyebrows and big, brown eyes, to his sharp nose and all the way down to his lips and his chin.
When she catches herself actually checking out a literal stranger, she straightens her spine to clear her thoughts.
Get it together, that’s so embarrassing.
“so,” she decides its time to speak up, this is her chance, “uh, do you do this often?”
Someone throw her out of a window this fucking now.
Vinnie chuckles next to her, head turning to face her, the amusement very much present on his face, “well, not really,” he shrugs, stopping to look at a cap that is placed on one of the tables, “but, miles wanted to try something for a new video thing, y’know?”
She didn’t, but whatever.
“oh, okay.”
“and you?”
She looks up at him again, trying to collect her thoughts, “yeah, back when I was a kid. My parents made me sell my own toys. Was a hard time.”
[name] smiles as she looks down at her hands, the mentioning of her parents making her miss them even more.
“that’s crazy,” they continue their walk, slowly heading to the group, “I hate losing things I like, would have hidden them all or something.” He grins, mouth opening to say something more before he is interrupted by one if his friends calling him for something.
With a quick wave, vinnie steps away and greets his friend with a handshake, loud voices suddenly becoming even louder.
Well, that was nice, she thinks. One more person she knows now, one more step ahead. Though she couldn’t shake away the feeling that she is missing something. Jack, vinnie, hell even the others even though they didn’t talk that much to her, all seem familiar. As if they have met before, which can't be the case. This is her first time she is in America, and she doubts that any of them would have come to her small town back home.
She watches as the one with brown hair, she thinks his name is miles, walks towards her, hands in his pockets. All if them have welcomed her with open arms when jack first introduced her to the round, though this is the first time any of them has come up to her to talk.
“aye, wanna check out that book stand? Jack’s told me you like, uh, those philosophy books, and stuff.”
[name] smiles at his kind attempt to make her feel included, gladly accepting his offer.
Just as she has done before with vinnie, miles and her walk around the remaining tables in a comfortable pace, falling into an even more comfortable conversation initiated from his side.
That is how she finds herself, 15 minutes later, arms straining from the two heavy bags filled with books she was carrying, heading towards the car jack had picked her up with previously.
“oh, shit.” Jacks eyes widen when he sees the bag she is carrying, gently coming up to take those from her.
“i-“
“shut up.”
“okay?”
Placing the bags into his trunk, he turns back to speak up again, “wanna come with us to get some drinks? The guys like you, so, like, no pressure or whatever.”
She walks up to the passenger side of the car, taking in his words. She has thought the complete opposite, actually. Thinking that she has been a bit too quiet, less invested in their doings which made them take a step back from her. And honestly, she really wants to go home for the day, all the tables filled with various things, people yelling around the field to sell their stuff and the guys talking loudly than ever kind of drained her for the rest of the evening.
“would it be weird to decline?”
Jack scoffs, already opening his side of the car, “dude, no it wouldn’t. ill drive u back, yeah?”
[name] wasn’t joking last time when she said that she believes that the others did not like her that much.
After jack has dropped her off and waved her goodbye that evening, she was pretty sure they wouldn’t meet again other than for their project. Heck, maybe she isn’t that bad to spend time with, she has her funny moments, she thinks. She hopes. But all of them are guys, men, people. With her being the only woman there, it might have made them feel uncomfortable, at least that’s how she perceived it when she stood next to them during that garage sale.
That is why it isn’t hard to understand her shock when jack has invited her to meet with the others for a film night at their place.
At. Their. Place.
She is aware that it’s a stupid idea, accepting the invitation of still somewhat strange men. Even though jack and her have met up after that garage sale, to work, to talk, to hang out, she still is unsure of all of that.
That’s also what [name] has told him right after he invited her yesterday, she has always been direct with her thoughts and concerns. And bless him, instead of getting offended as she has initially thought, jack met her concerns with understanding, emphasizing that he understands and that he will see what he can do to make it more comfortable for her.
“you actually want me to come?” her voice was laced with hope during that call, shocked at his persistence.
“not only me,” his voice came easy from the other side of the line, “miles and vi-, uh, like, the others also liked you a lot. you’re chill, and that.”
After that, jack has called her once more to let her know that some other girls would be there, two of their closest friends who stay at their own place. He even has given her their numbers, to text and ask them if she needed [she didn’t, felt too shy to be honest].
This is how she finds herself standing in front of a big door, the sound of a heavy bass and laughter seeping through from the other side.
[name] shifts in her place, the sole of her feet pulsing with anticipation, hands clutching around the snacks she has bought along. Why has she become so shy all of a sudden, she never had such problems back home.
Ugh, whatever.
Just as she steps forward to ring the bell, a cheerful voice greets her from behind, stopping her actions.
“[name], right? Jack told me about you.” Her bright voice spreads a certain warmth in [name], easing the tension in her shoulders.
Her eyes take in her appearance quickly, long black hair, warm eyes and bright smile. She is a bit shorter than [name], still matching the rest of the height difference with a confident stance.
“yeah, hey,” she greets back, slightly startled when the woman in front of her steps forward to hug her quickly, “and you are?”
“huh? Oh, ah, yeah. Im Rachel, but like, everyone calls me Rae. So, yeah.” She laughs, stepping back.
They continue to stand there, mustering the other with their eyes until both of them start to giggle.
“that was so awkward, like, oh god.” Rae shakes her head, moving ahead to ring the bell, “but it’s nice to meet you.”
[name] shrugs, growing shy, “yeah, uhm. You too. I just didn’t know what to say-“
“ah, its fine,” rae waves, smiling at her, “wouldn’t be my first time.”
[name] opens her mouth to respond, though she stops once the door opens and both of them are met with the sight of a very flustered jack, cheeks red.
“I almost fell down the fucking stairs.” Is the first thing he says as he steps aside to let the two women enter, hand running through his hair to calm his nerves.
[name] can’t help but let her eyes wander around the hallway, taking in all those posters – which are mostly from some animes she hasn’t seen – and all the shoes, the jackets and even a plastic plant. It isn’t her place to judge, but from the way the posters are lined up, the way some random piece of clothing is left to catch dust in a a corner, it is pretty obvious that this house belongs to a group of guys.
“uh, yeah, so,” jack breaks the silence, reaching to take the snacks from [name]s hands, “the guys are upstairs, we kinda got this, like, cinema room, and yeah. I’ll prepare the snacks.” He explains, head nodding towards the staircase.
“want me to help?”
“nah, thanks. You and Rae go up, everyone’s waitin’” is all he says before he moves towards their open kitchen.
Rae smiles at [name], taking her hand in her own to lead her up the stairs, “so, jack kinda told me you’re not from here?”
[name] nods. “I’m from [Country], yeah.”
“I’ve been to different countries thanks to work, though never to [Country]. Whatcha got there?”
Shrugging, [name] follows Rae towards the new room on the second floor, looking around the hall, “you know, buildings, different cultures. It’s mostly calm, though.”
As they enter the cinema room, lights dim and various voices mixing, [name] takes a second to take in her environment. Couches lined up, in hopes to mimic actual cinema seats, a coffee table in front of each. The white wall opposite to it all functions as the screen she assumes, and she stays correct as she catches a glimpse of the projector in the far back. It actually looks quite nice, she must say.
“ladies!”
Miles is the first one to notice their arrival, voice booming across the room as he makes his way towards them. He pulls Rae into a quick hug and daps [name] up, making her giggle at his actions.
“hey, where’s jules?” rae asks, eyes in search for ‘jules’
Miles shrugs, leading the way to the others, “she cancelled, somethings came up I guess.”
Ah. Jules must be the second girl Jack has mentioned last time. A pity, even though [name] has just met Rae, she already has grown to like her. Well, the two of them are still holding hands, she hopes Rae feels the same.
It is after they both sit down and grab a drink, listening to one of the guys talking about his latest date, when [name] feels the cushion of the couch dip as someone takes place next to her.
“hey.” Voice low, vinnie gets comfortable next to her.
He smells nice, she notes. He also makes her feel weird, if she is being honest. Not in a bad way, but that air around him, his sharp eyes taking in each of her movements and everything else just seem quite intense.
Just like last time, he is wearing a tanktop, paired with shorts and slippers. Seeing his tattoos this close is actually quite nice, and even though she wants to stay as subtle about it as much as she can, being an art history major with a huge passion for arts in general makes it hard to resist.
[name] blinks. “hi.”
“so, you listen to Deftones?” He begins, leaning forward to take a cup from the coffee table in front of them.
[name] stares at him, not prepared for such question.
“uhm, no? not really. Do you?”
Vinnie clears his throat, “yeah, they’re nice, but like, I totally listen to others as well, y’know. Like – uh, yeah.” He shifts slightly, “uh, have you- have you seen luffy yet?”
Her eyes widen, voice high, “he’s here?”
“yeah, uh, I also live here and him and hera stay here with me. You can, like, you can see him if you want.”
Vinnie straightens his spine and shifts in his seat once more, his wide eyes not straying from [names] face. His cologne invades her space, in no way stingy or aggressive. Instead she feels comfortable, his scent only intensifying the warmth inside of her caused by his presence.
[name] looks around, everyone else, Rae included, is still talking, and jack has yet to return with the snacks. It isn’t as loud as it was when they first entered the room, some she has yet to meet are sitting down and looking at their phones. She wouldn’t be missed if she quickly goes ahead and sees fluffy for a second.
“what about the movie?” she asks, turning back to face vinnie, voice low as if she was telling him a secret.
“jack’s probably smockin’ ‘fore he comes up, we have like ten minutes.”
He stands up, back straight.
[name] copies him, following him out of the room to his own, she assumes.
“and hera is also a cat?”
Vinnie opens his door, broad back turned to her, “uh, yeah. Had her first, luffy’s been around for a few months now.”
They enter his room and the first thing she notices is the huge bed in the middle. The second thing she sees is a desk, a screen and a pc. There is also a mic, a comfortable desk chair and some figures on the desk. The room is big, decorated in darker colors, the colored posters along the wall a stark contrast to the general palate to the dark furniture.
She watches as vinnie tries to flick away a stray sock from his bed, hand scratching his upper arm, an attempt to look casual.
“hera’s probably downstairs, and luffy…” he looks around, but [name] has already found that bright orange fur hiding under his desk.
She crouches down, voice airy, “fluff! Hey there, baby. You remember me?”
She lifts her hand towards his nose, hoping that he would remember her. His tiny head softly bumps against it, allowing her to scratch his chin “oh, you’re such a baby, you like it?”
“so, you also got a cat?”
Oh, she forgot that he is also there.
Straightening her legs, [name] clears her throat before she answers, “uh, no. it was a dream of mine but my dad kinda hates animals inside the house.”
“you live alone now, though? I mean, Jack mentioned it once, I guess.”
Vinnie sits down on the edge of his bed, arms behind him to support his weight as he leans back.
[name] squads down once again when she feels Fluffy’s soft fur brushing against her leg, petting him some more.
“yeah, well. To study, y’know? Wouldn’t be smart to get attached.” She explains.
Vinnie nods, eyes wandering around his room as if searching for something as he speaks up again.
“uh, so. Are you with jack, or something?”
“you mean in a relationship?”
“I guess.”
Rolling her eyes, she lifts her head to look at him, “nah, more like his wingman.”
Vinnie licks his lips, nodding once more, “cool, cool. So like, you know that we, like, stream and shit, yeah?”
[name] takes a second to gather her thoughts, not sure where this conversation is going, “ah yes. Uh, jack told me after a week of hanging out, for our project, I don’t know if he told you-“
“yeah, he did.”
“yeah, so. He told me. It’s cool, not my bubble or whatever, but I respect it.” she finishes her explanation, unsure if that is what vinnie wanted to know.
After jack explained to [name] that him and his friends she met during the garage sale are all professional streamers with a rather large following, she was not sure what to think. But after talking it out and being honest from the very beginning, they both reached the conclusion that [name] would try to not show up in front of the camera if they were to film around her, nor would she share any information about them.
It was more about her safety rather than the others, as jack has told [name] about the different hate trains him and his friends had to witness.
This also explains why she felt as if she has had seen the others once when she first met them.
She didn’t really imagine meeting famous people when she promised herself to step out of her comfort zone. It hasn’t been long since she stepped on to American soil, though she feels as if she has been here for ages already.
Vinnie runs his hand through his hair, lips pressing into a tight smile, “cool, cool. So, you have tiktok?”
“I don’t.”
His head snaps to her, “no?”
Petting the cat one last time, she gets up and slowly walks towards one of his posters, looking at its details, “I had it, like, before the pandemic. Needed storage, deleted it and now its been a few years.”
“that’s crazy, what do you do then?”
“reels?”
“be for real, now.”
[name] narrows her eyes at his judgmental tone, scoffing as he raises his hands in some kid of defense, “I don’t know, it’s just when I’m bored. Leave me alone.”
“I am leaving you alone.”
“no, you’re not.”
“I deadass am.”
“no.”
Vinnie gets up, hands stemming on his hips, “I think it’s my right to know-“
“you’re a guy, you don’t have any rights.”
“oh, okay miss ma’am. am I even allowed to breathe anymore?”
“not with that attitude.” She rolls her eyes, not bothering to fight off the smile on her lips, “no wonder fl- uh, luffy’s got an attitude.”
Vinnie mock gasps, hand on his chest as if he has just witnessed the biggest betrayal known to mankind, “excuse me?”
Scoffing, she starts to walk towards the door, “shall we go back to the, uh, cinema room thingy?”
“yeah, sure. Whatever. We will be speaking again.” He waves his finger in front of her face, amused tone not ceasing a bit.
“yeah, yeah. Lead the way.”
Vinnie doesn’t understand why he feels this way about [name]. well, actually, he doesn’t even know what way he is talking about. it’s just, ever since they met again during that garage sale, he cannot help but want to get to know more about her. Is it because of her shy yet kind attitude, the way she tries to pay attention to whoever is talking right now, eyes wide and focused?
Or maybe it’s the calm energy around her, something he at times strays far away from. He knows that he can be loud, he is aware of his surroundings and that his job kind of requires him to be expressive and what not. So, seeing her be calm and talk in that soothing voice whenever someone asks her something, it’s just a nice contrast to what he is used to.
During that movie night yesterday, where he managed to get her away from the loudness to the quiet of his room, talking to her without anyone seeing. It was nice, incredibly so.
She was mean to him when he least expected it, pet luffy as if he was her own, and was a good listener. Additionally, she kind of seemed to not care about his status on social media, or how big his following actually is.
Well, at least that’s what he hopes. So far, he hasn’t seen her take any pictures during their gathering, nor has anything been leaked about their latest things. Vinnie is even unsure if he has seen her hold her phone in her hand at any time during the movie night. That was a good sign, no?
So, the next morning after the movie night, as vinnie walks down the stairs to the kitchen, he makes it his mission to get to know more about [name]. not in a stalker way, nah. But who knows. Having a calm friend that isn’t like one of the idiots he calls his own would be nice. A fresh breath of air, a warm blanket, a cold drink.
And what way would be the best to get more information about the lady that has been swirling around his mind every now and them?
Jack.
That same jack that is sitting on a bar stool at the kitchen counter, phone in one head as he uses the other to take a bite out of his toast.
He has to be subtle, vinnie thinks. Jack is smart, and his jokes are annoying. If he ever finds out that vinnie wants to know more about his new friend, he’d never be able to save himself from his teasing.
His voice is raspy when he speaks up, low with some rest sleepiness, “‘sup.”
Jack nods back at him, small smile on his lips as he types on his phone.
Interesting.
Vinnie moves behind the stool jack is sitting on, eyes glancing at his phone in hopes to catch the reason why he is smiling.
His eyes catch jacks chat with [name], currently texting her about something that’s funny.
[name] is funny, he can admit, but jack? Not a chance.
His arms reach towards the cereal box, taking it out and bending down to get a bowl next.
“so, uh. Movie was nice, right?”
Jack hums, eyes looking up at his friend, “yeah. [name] actually recommend it.”
Vinnie nods, eyebrows rising in surprise, “cool. So, like, she’s cool with the rest?”
“yeah, I think she just needs some time to get around. She’s actually really fun, y’know.”
Jack puts his phone down, standing up to place his plate into the sink.
“yeah.” Vinnie turns around, lower back now pressing against the counter as he crosses his arms in front of his chest, “she got any social media? Or something.”
Smooth.
Jack nods, walking towards the living room, “yeah, she has an instagam. But, like a private one, y’know,” he breaks off to yawn, “fifty followers or something.”
That’s all he says before leaving the kitchen, leaving vinnie to stand alone, thinking.
Which is not always a good thing, if he may say so.
So, what if he just goes through jacks two thousand followings, in hopes to find her account. yeah, he could also just ask jack, but, nah. It’s not that deep. He thinks.
“bro, just let me tag along, c’mon.”
Vinnie follows jack to the front door, bag pack on his shoulders, cappy on backwards. It’s the perfect outfit to fit in, a cool college student who is going to meet up with his friends to work on a project. Chill. If only he actually was a student going out to meet his friends on campus.
It’s just that said friend won’t let him tag along, nor has he any way to contact the other friend, as he simply couldn’t find [names] instagram profile, no matter how hard he tried.
Who the fuck follows two thousand plus people anyway? Jack is crazy, that’s for sure.
“dude, listen, I love you, I’d press you against that wall and make out with you-“
“woah, okay that’s a bit too much-“
“-but I really need to finish this up. [name] has some other courses, and I have a stream scheduled outside of LA. Today’s the day, y‘know.”
Vinnie bends down to slip on his sneakers, voice eager, “and ‘m not ‘bout to annoy you guys. I’ll just be quiet, doing my stuff.”
“like what, read manga?”
He shrugs, “sure.”
Jack pats his friend’s shoulder, “then do it at home. you’re goddamn vinnie hacker, my wet dream-“
“you too, man.”
“and probably every other girl’s as well. I can’t risk getting swarmed or whatever, [name] would kill me, and she’s got a mean punch, so.”
Vinnie takes a deep breath. He doesn’t want to use this method; it’s something he doesn’t really enjoy, a last emergency resort, somehow. Though his dear friend does not leave him with any other option.
That is why he claps his hands together, pulling his lower lip out to a nasty pout, and putting on his best puppy eyes, a performance for the theatre.
“pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease-“
“shut the fuck up and get your car keys.”
Too easy. Way too easy.
“‘sup, [name]?” vinnie eagerly [eagerly? No, he is just being polite, yeah] greets her, sitting down on the bench opposite to her.
Jack follows suit, apologetic look in his eyes, not sure how he would explain it to her. It’s not like he doesn’t enjoy spending time with his best friend. it’s just, well, he knows him quite well. Too well. Knows that vinnie has an amazing talent at getting distracted in record time, never sitting still and running his mouth in light speed. Jack hopes that [name] doesn’t mind or well, hopefully doesn’t notice it.
“hey, vinnie.” [name] smiles at him, sitting up straight.
Her notes are already on the table, spread out along with her markers and some snacks. If she had known that vinnie would come along as well, she would have brought some more. She doesn’t feel as weird around him as she did back when they first met during the garage sale, their last conversation during the movie night easing the edges of their relationship. She couldn’t help but watch him that evening, couldn’t help but notice that he likes to shift in his seat, plug the fine hair on his face, at times even pulling his lips between his teeth. She hoped he wouldn’t notice, and as for now it seems as if she has been subtle enough.
Her eyes shift from his broad figure to jack, quietly watching as he pulls out his notes. This would be the last time they meet for their project, and even though [name] is grateful to finish all this early, thus making it easier for her to focus on her other studies, she also worries that this might be the last time they hang out together. Jack has become a great friend of hers, he has been even kind enough to introduce her to his other friends, trusting enough to tell her about their, well, other job as streamers and content creators. So far, she has yet to see them create any kind of content or stream, and for some reason she is holding back from simply looking them up. This trust jack has given her has risen to an eminent position, too valuable to risk anything just because of her curiosity.
After exchanging some small talk, [name] and jack immediately lock in, eyes focusing on something displayed on their laptops. [name] even writes something down in her notebook, her shoulders rounding forward as she leans down in concentration.
Vinnie swears that he isn’t watching her to be weird, but he simply can’t help himself. Something about her, the way she pulls her lip between her teeth or tits her head when she reads something from. The paper. Just, everything about her little mannerisms ends his concentration with no mercy.
His phone feels hotter than ever in his sweaty hand, his leg can’t stop shaking, and his pulse rings through his ears.
He promised jack that he wouldn’t bother them. He swore.
“I need a cold cigarette,” jack says, the first one to speak up after an hour has already passed, “or a new brain, anything.”
Next to him, [name] chuckles, sitting up straight, “coffee would be nice.”
This is it, vinnie thinks, immediately getting up, “wanna get some?” he asks, trying to keep his voice low.
Just as jack starts to get up from his seat, vinnie starts to cough aggressively, desperately trying to get his friend to understand, blinking with his eyes in some weird way. At first, he just freezes, looking up at his handsome friend with no clue, but when jack hears [name] start to shift to grab her phone out of her bag, he immediately plops back down onto his seat, winking at his friend knowingly.
“[name], you know my order?” he asks her, watching her get up and walk towards vinnie.
[name] nods, smiling at him, “yeah, no worries.”
The two of them wave at jack before leaving for the next café, walking side by side as a comfortable silence wraps itself around them-
Well, at least it is comfortable for [name].
Vinnie could feel his heart pound against his rips with such a force that he feels like throwing up. He never knew how to shut up, so why can’t he think of anything to say now? Should he ask her about her family? Or maybe if she liked to game?
“are you also leaving for L.A. tomorrow?” she is the first one to break the silence, looking at his eyes.
Vinnie clears his throat, stepping forward to open the door of the café. His eyes follow her as she enters first, eagerly following her inside.
“uh, no. jack’s with this group for some new game,” he begins, standing next to her, “I’m doing more independent stuff these days.”
“oh, cool.”
Just as vinnie tries to speak up once more, desperate to keep the conversation flowing, the loud voice of the barista interrupts him, kindly asking them about their order.
As if on autopilot, he states their order, even [gently] pushing [name] away to pay for it.
“I wanted to treat you guys!” [name] scoffs, smiling up at him, “thank you, though.”
Vinnie nods back at her, pressing his lips into a smile, not trusting his voice at the moment.
Why couldn’t he talk to her just as he did yesterday? They even bickered, he could be calm next to her, confident, even. Why isn’t it working out now?
unedited, unfinished draft of something I had laying around for a while. I am not sure when I will be finishing this up.
summary: [name] promised herself not to get too attached to anyone or anything during her exchange year in America. a week in, she not only gets attached to a stray cat, but also to its owner, slowly but surely.
It wasn’t every day that she decided to leave her home and spend an entire day at campus without her headphones. Nor is it that she would ever decide such thing anyway, instead, it was time running faster than ever this morning, her alarm not ringing loud enough, the stove plotting against her, all of those causing her to forget more than just her headphones. Now she has to deal with the loudness of the people from this foreign, yet still somewhat familiar continent, the cars in the background, the little stones screeching under the pressure of her foot as she walks ahead.
Los Angeles is humid in that golden, almost disorienting way – air heavy with anticipation and car exhaust, with laughter and chatter carrying itself around the park. She has always liked spring, liked the way in which wearing just a hoodie or long sleeve shirt was enough to get by. Though [name] isn’t sure if it is the same here in America. Maybe it is her imagination, or maybe it is her brain that was washed by all the stuff she had seen about America back then, but the sun up high along with the greenery surrounding her made this spring afternoon feel hotter than ever.
She adjusts the strap of her heavy bag, suddenly missing her headphones even more.
The walk from campus to her apartment isn’t that long, filling her with relief that she is able to walk around a bit and not rely on any kind of transportation in form of a vehicle. Though it has been a week since she has arrived here in the states, [name] still must get used to a lot around here; the loudness, the touchy-ness and almost robotic friendliness of the people here a stark contrast to what she is used in her home country. She is halfway down the street leading to her apartment when she feels something fluffy brush against her ankle, almost like a gentle breeze. So, when she looks down to find a fluffy cat looking up at her with its big, yellow eyes, she almost jumps away.
An orange cat, quite cute actually, the way it looks up to her and gently meows. [name] doesn’t regret a thing as she crouches down and meows right back at it, her hand scratching its chin, a chuckle leaving her as the cat leans against her hand. [name] raises her head to look around, anything to find out if that little guy [at least, that is what she thinks it is] has an owner or someone looking for him. There isn’t a collar in sight, nor anything else that would help her make out where he has come from. And even though [name] wouldn’t mind spending the rest of her evening petting a cat and meowing at it, she still has some chores waiting for her back home, and a new chapter that she has to prepare for her seminar in the morning.
With a heavy sigh and even heavier heart, she straightens her legs and softly waves at the cat, a small, yet in her eyes very tragic, goodbye. She tries to continue her walk home, mind already preparing a small to-do list she plans to work through for the rest of her evening. Turning her head back one last time to see the cat, she finds herself come to a halt when she sees the cat standing next to her, head looking up, eyes focused on her.
“eh,” she begins, at a loss for words, “do you want more scratches?”
It must be that American air that made her ask a cat a genuine question.
She sighs, hands on her hips, “I really wish I could, but, I, I kinda have to leave, you know?”
The cat meows at her again, tone rather persistent if she may add.
[name] starts looking around once again, hoping to see a figure that is desperately looking for their cat, or anything, really. Though for the first time since she has set foot on American soil, she finds herself completely alone outside of her apartment, the streets echoing with each step she takes, no car in sight and no sound from any house merging.
Maybe if she just keeps walking without paying that little guy any mind, he’ll go home on his own. what if they live in the same direction? She can’t just shoo him away if that is the case now, can she?
That is how the two strangers find themselves in front of a closed door of [name]s apartment building, fluffy [that is what she has named him during their 5-minute walk] sitting next to her, as if it is the most normal thing on the world. As if they have always entered this building together or whatever.
“ugh, you can’t be-“ [name] pauses to take a deep breath, fingers clutching the bride of her nose as if she has witnessed the biggest disappointment to mankind, “you can’t be here, fluff. Really, don’t you think your family will miss you?”
All she receives is a small meow. [name] scoffs, of course that would be all she gets.
She squads down, eyes stern, “listen, I love you, okay?”
Orange eyes slowly blink back at her, as if it understands what she is saying.
“I feel weirdly connected to you, as if you are the first person – kinda thing - that has understood me here. But you gotta return home, man.”
The cat blinks back at her once more before it shakes his head as it sneezes.
“well,” [name] gets up, posture straight, “this is where we part.”
[name] throws herself onto her couch after she placed the bowl with canned tuna on the floor next to her small coffee table. She cannot believe that this thing has managed to convince her to let it crash at her place for the time being.
The quiet sound of wet food being eaten fills the silence of her small apartment, the smell of canned tuna filling her nose.
“ugh.” She groans, head resting against the back of her couch.
When she was told that America will be a crazy chapter in her life, she did not expect this. An orange cat, time management problems – which she never had before – and those weird schedule times of university courses.
Instead of letting her thoughts distract her, [name] decides it is finally time to get up and at least clean her kitchen. Or do something, really.
A chuckle leaves her throat as she thinks back to the time her mother told her that it seemed like she has bees up her ass, never sitting still, always somehow moving. Even though she is a self-claimed homebody. And now that homebody has to share her space with another homebody as it seems. At least she likes cats, she guesses.
That night, [name] finds herself sharing her bed with fluffy, who takes up more space than her, disregarding their sizes. He sprawls across her bed like a king, has already claimed every surface of her apartment within his first hour here, hissed at [name] when she moved to quickly, and he somehow still seems to like her. One paw presses against her arm, his soft purrs lulling [name] to a soft state, almost asleep yet still conscious. She didn’t talk to fluffy that much, besides a few meows here and there when she genuinely couldn’t resist anymore.
[name] figured that someone is probably missing him, and as soon as she finishes her classes the next morning, she will try to find any clue of a missing cat announcement or whatever. A new sense of determination pulses through her veins, fluffy’s soft snores easing her mind.
Yeah, that will do.
It isn’t until the next morning, outside a coffee shop near the street she found fluffy on, when her eyes catch a glimpse of a missing cat poster, its picture showing a cat with the same audacity as the one currently sitting inside her home.
LOST CAT — LUFFY
orange tappy, orange eyes, attitude problem.
last seen near UCLA campus.
REWARD.
please call: [number]
Huh.
[name] fishes out her phone from her back pocket and snaps a quick picture of the flyer with the intention of calling as soon as her classes finish.
Relief washes over her as she continues her way to campus. She would have killed to have a cat of her own, but getting attached while she is on an exchange program is simply too much of a risk she isn’t willing to take. She already loves fluffy – or well, luffy – a lot, but it will be the best option for both parties to sperate before any of them grows attached.
Studies first, attachment later.
Her gaze stays fixed on the ground as she moves along the trees, only ever rising when she feels someone get closer to her. A guy.
Oh, man.
He seems kind, she thinks, kinda. They all do, if she is being honest. [name] is aware that she has to get used to this very open and communicative culture that would become her new home for the next year, though she simply can’t bring herself to mirror everyone’s enthusiasm here.
“hey,” the blonde guy speaks up, voice laced with kindness with a hint of confidence, “saw you around yesterday and actually wanted to talk to you, but, like, you kinda vanished, and I didn’t get the chance anymore.”
She blinks once, “okay.”
“I’m jack.” He introduces himself, offering her his hand to shake, which she does.
“[name], nice to meet you.” She actually wants to smash her head against a wall for sounding so flat and disinterested. This is her chance to get connections, she has to pull herself together.
He flashes her his teeth in a cheeky grin, “you too! I know ‘t’s weird, like, why would I just come here, but I, uh, I saw that we share a class and there is this group project comin’”
[name] looks down at his lips in concentration, not wanting to miss anything he says. She must admit, he does speak fast, and the dialect is also something she has yet get used to.
“oh,” she straightens her back, “do you want to work together?”
“yeah! Would that be okay?”
She shrugs, she needs someone to work with anyway, “sure.”
After exchanging numbers, and another round of thank you’s from jack, both part their ways to move along with their days.
She fucking hates group projects.
The call was brief.
The voice on the other hand – a man, rather old, though not grandpa-age-old - thanked her profusely. Said he’d arrange a pick-up from her place, which she at first tried to decline.
But of course, people could be persistent, so now she is standing in front of her apartment building, freshly changed into comfortable clothes and face bare. She holds Fluffy in her arms as if he was a newborn, though the cat doesn’t seem to mind.
The person on the phone said that [name] would be able to recognize the person that would come to pick the cat up, and even though she highly doubts it because she has only been here for a week, she also stopped trying from the very beginning. She guesses that the person would understand who she is when they see her holding their cat in her arms.
“how long does it take” she murmurs under her breath to fluffy, who doesn’t pay her any mind and stays fast asleep inside her arms.
Lucky guy.
Just as she is about to annoy him some more, she hears a soft, almost hesitant voice from in front of her. [name] looks up and is immediately met by the sight of a tall guy. Hoodie half-on, hood up and cappy pulled down to hide his face. The sleeves of his hoodie are pushed up, revealing the ink dancing around his skin in an interesting formation. His right hand holds a carrier – for fluffy – and his other hand clutches around his phone.
[name] doesn’t mean to react, though she can’t help herself and take a step back, that tall and somewhat hidden appearance making a shudder run down her spine.
“oh,” she clears her throat, “you must be here for him, right?”
Stupid ass question, she scoffs at herself, of course he is.
“yeah,” his voice was deep, eyes briefly glancing at her before they focus on the ball of fluff sleepin inside her arms, “luffy, c’mon.”
He takes a step forward, [name] takes one back.
As she sees the confusion settling on his features – which are actually quite pretty, if she may say so – she speaks up to explain herself, “proof?”
“proof?”
“yeah, something that shows me he’s with you. What if you just pretend to be his owner or whatever” She gently pushes her arms forward as she gestures to luffy. She has heard some crazy stuff about Americans, she is not about to risk anything. Is that mean? She guesses so, but oh, who cares.
The man nods, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he whispers a small “fair.”, unlocking his phone to show [name] a rather, well, interesting picture of them both wearing cowboy hats and fake mustaches.
“here you go.” She mutters, holding her arms up for the stranger to take luffy, who seems not so pleased to see his owner. He even looks quite annoyed.
Luffy lets out a soft, miserable mewl, clinging onto her sleeve as the stranger in front of her encloses his hands around Luffy’s small body.
“I think he likes you more than he likes me.” He scoffs, rolling his eyes at his cats’ behavior.
[name] doesn’t say anything, just a gentle smile as she takes a small step back.
“thanks again, honestly.” He speaks up again, “and about the reward-“
“it’s fine.” She cuts him off, holding her hand up slightly to stop his hand from taking something out of his pocket.
A frown settles upon his handsome features, “no, it’s what was promised, like-“
“it’s really fine. Thank you.” She nods to emphasize her point.
“’ight. I ‘preciate it.”
[name] nods one last time, starting to walk towards the door at the same time the guy picks up the carrier to get along as well. Both smile at the other as a form to say goodbye.
And with that, she walks up the stairs.
[name] decides to meet up with jack that very week, the end of her first week here in the states. LA has finally shaken off its gloomy spring morning and has started to blister properly. She is still in a haze – assignments, essays, settling into her new apartment, faces that blend into each other – and the air around the campus is still to calm, students had to yet settle into the new semester.
As she places her bag onto the wooden table, jacks soft voice meets her ears halfway, laced with tiredness form the day before, “I fucking hate that guy, for real.”
She chuckles at his greeting, “yeah, it is quite mean, no?”
It’s not like she has never worked on a group assignment before; no. [name] has worked on a fair share of projects until now, her university somehow believing that group assignment would help students to get better grades. What she isn’t used to, though, is having a group assignment in her first week of the semester, the professor way to passionate in the way he talked about his expectations for the class.
“Where are you from, by the way.” Jack sits up as he asks her, eyes curious and brows raised.
[name] raises her eyebrows, “that obvious?”
Her accent has always been subtle, at least that is what she thinks. [name] has been speaking English for a long time, she had to. Schools valued it, and to be honest, all the fanfictions that are somewhat bearable are written in English, she has to know the language to appreciate fine arts.
Jack shrugs, shooting her a grin as he takes out his MacBook from his bag.
“[Country], you know. Multicultural and all.” She answers, spine straight as she sits down on the hard bench.
“that’s crazy.” Is all he says before both settle for a comfortable silence, eyes focusing on the document that explains their project requirements in great detail.
A gentle breeze caresses her cheeks, its warmth easing the tension in her upper body. Is she supposed to say anything else? Keep the conversation flowing, or should she stay quiet? This is why she isn’t a fan of group projects. What is she even supposed to do now? If given the chance, [name] would simply do all the work by herself, her experience with group projects breaking her trust in others regarding that topic. though jack seems to take it just as seriously, not once has he touched his phone nor tried to find reasons for why he couldn’t stay any longer. Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as it has been before.
Hope blossoms inside her chest. This could be her chance to start anew, grow and learn to be an optimistic person, instead of someone who doubts others before they could get any chance. Maybe being here, in a foreign continent, stuck between people who smiled way too much for her liking, would help her change her perspective of life as well.
Yeah, that is it.
She nods to herself, subtle but there. She will give jack a chance, she will try to reach out first as well. No more closing in, no more staying at home all day when she has the chance to go out and meet new people.
If she grows close enough to jack, who knows. Perhaps he would like her enough to introduce her to his own friends, just because he believes that she is cool enough, or whatever. [name] isn’t looking for any serious attachments here, anyway. All she wants it to fight against her own habit of closing herself off to people, she wants to step out of her comfort zone, even if it is just this one time.
At least, that’s what she has thought those few days ago, when her and jack just started to work on their project.
How was she supposed to know that he would grow to like her immediately afterwards? Yes, it was her that planned to change her ways during her stay in the states, but she also needed some time to make peace with her decision. She wasn’t aware of how it would lead her to her current situation, standing amid a garage sale with a group of guys she has never met before.
Even though the weather is mild and clouds filled the sky, the perfect time to have a quiet tea on her balcony, in her opinion, the loud voices of those guys jack has introduced her to find their place in this peaceful vibe.
While there are may other people here who want to wander through the different stands and leave some money for those who are selling, the sound of bargains and music stands no chance against jack and his crew, some of them even holding cameras to film their adventures.
[name] has yet to meet all of them, jack has told her before that some of his friends would arrive later due to an earlier schedule.
“I bet you guys would get along just fine, [name],” he began, voice rough after all the studying they had done, “you’re, like, a bit quiet, but, like, they all are cool and wouldn’t mind you taggn’ along, y’know.” He finished, hopeful that he could persuade his new friend to join him for his weekend activities.
“but-“ [name] started, unsure if she was mentally prepared to step out of her zone that fast.
Jack cut her off, blue eyes rolling, “nah, save it, man. I’ll textcha the location, ‘kay?”
She wants to go home.
She misses her couch, her book.
Hell, she even misses fluffy’s mean look even though it's been almost two weeks since she last saw him.
[name] is aware that jack seems to trust her enough to introduce her to his friends, but she is also aware that he cant stand next to her the entire time and make them wait for her grow more comfortable around her new environment.
They all seem so, how should she phrase it, energetic? Chaotic, maybe, if she is being honest. Loud conversation flowing around, laughter, shouting and weird movements fill in her senses. They kind of remind her of her cousins back home, just as wild and unpredictable.
“yo, vin!” the one with black hair yells out all of a sudden, arm raised in a greeting as his [fuck, she forgot his name], eyes focus on ‘vin’ behind her.
Curious, she tilts her head back to see the newcomer, and is met with a familiar sight. It feels like as if she has seen this guy before, his tall frame and sharp features ringing a bell inside her mind.
Dirty-blonde hair, a tank top that reveals many of his scattered tattoos along his sun-kissed skin, loose pants, and his phone in hand. He greets black-hair-guy with a big grin, eyes looking ahead and nowhere else.
Is he someone she might have seen on campus? Those tattoos, that nose piercing. She knows them from somewhere, her eyes narrow as she gazes down at the lawn, mind trying to find the right pieces.
“and this,” Jack comes up from her side, his warm and gently resting on her shoulder as he pulls [name] out of her thoughts, “is [name], exchange program and all, she’s pretty chill.”
[name] looks up to face the guy that has just arrived, watching as his eyes widen a bit from the sight of her.
So she is right, they do know each other, kinda.
“that’s vinnie, vin, vincent-“
Vinnie interrupts his friend with a tight smile, arms crossing in front of his chest, “vinnie’s enough.” He clears his throat, slightly shifting in his stance, “[name], right? Uh, like, how, how have you been?”
Jack seems happy with his work, squeezing her shoulder one last time before he moves back to joke about something with the others, at least, that’s what [name] thinks.
[name] mirrors his actions, crossing her arms, quickly glancing to her side as if to collect her thoughts, “good, thank you. Uh, this, okay this sounds weird, but have we met before? I know we did, but I, yeah.”
It seems as if a new sense if realization washes over vinnie when he hears her question, lips pulling into a soft smile.
“I came to pick up the cat, almost been a week.”
Her eyes widen a bit, suddenly the face in front of her matching with the one she has seen last week, “oh! How is he?”
Vinnie laughs at her question, his hand reaching up to scratch his nape, “uh, yeah, he’s fine, a bit of a troublemaker, like, always. But he’s good. Thanks again for taking care of him.”
[name] feels herself break into a bright smile, the news about her first friend here somehow filling her with a certain warmth.
“you are very welcome, i’m glad he’s okay.”
And that’s how the two of them find themselves in a, well, comfortable?, silence, glancing around the garage sale, taking small steps ahead as they somewhat decided to just walk around. [name] did say that she wants to make more connections and step out of her comfort zone, though what is she supposed to do now?
She subtly [she hopes it is subtle] looks up at his tall figure every now and then as they continue their walk in silence, eyes soaking in his sharp features. Up from his eyebrows and big, brown eyes, to his sharp nose and all the way down to his lips and his chin.
When she catches herself actually checking out a literal stranger, she straightens her spine to clear her thoughts.
Get it together, that’s so embarrassing.
“so,” she decides its time to speak up, this is her chance, “uh, do you do this often?”
Someone throw her out of a window this fucking now.
Vinnie chuckles next to her, head turning to face her, the amusement very much present on his face, “well, not really,” he shrugs, stopping to look at a cap that is placed on one of the tables, “but, miles wanted to try something for a new video thing, y’know?”
She didn’t, but whatever.
“oh, okay.”
“and you?”
She looks up at him again, trying to collect her thoughts, “yeah, back when I was a kid. My parents made me sell my own toys. Was a hard time.”
[name] smiles as she looks down at her hands, the mentioning of her parents making her miss them even more.
“that’s crazy,” they continue their walk, slowly heading to the group, “I hate losing things I like, would have hidden them all or something.” He grins, mouth opening to say something more before he is interrupted by one if his friends calling him for something.
With a quick wave, vinnie steps away and greets his friend with a handshake, loud voices suddenly becoming even louder.
Well, that was nice, she thinks. One more person she knows now, one more step ahead. Though she couldn’t shake away the feeling that she is missing something. Jack, vinnie, hell even the others even though they didn’t talk that much to her, all seem familiar. As if they have met before, which can't be the case. This is her first time she is in America, and she doubts that any of them would have come to her small town back home.
She watches as the one with brown hair, she thinks his name is miles, walks towards her, hands in his pockets. All if them have welcomed her with open arms when jack first introduced her to the round, though this is the first time any of them has come up to her to talk.
“aye, wanna check out that book stand? Jack’s told me you like, uh, those philosophy books, and stuff.”
[name] smiles at his kind attempt to make her feel included, gladly accepting his offer.
Just as she has done before with vinnie, miles and her walk around the remaining tables in a comfortable pace, falling into an even more comfortable conversation initiated from his side.
That is how she finds herself, 15 minutes later, arms straining from the two heavy bags filled with books she was carrying, heading towards the car jack had picked her up with previously.
“oh, shit.” Jacks eyes widen when he sees the bag she is carrying, gently coming up to take those from her.
“i-“
“shut up.”
“okay?”
Placing the bags into his trunk, he turns back to speak up again, “wanna come with us to get some drinks? The guys like you, so, like, no pressure or whatever.”
She walks up to the passenger side of the car, taking in his words. She has thought the complete opposite, actually. Thinking that she has been a bit too quiet, less invested in their doings which made them take a step back from her. And honestly, she really wants to go home for the day, all the tables filled with various things, people yelling around the field to sell their stuff and the guys talking loudly than ever kind of drained her for the rest of the evening.
“would it be weird to decline?”
Jack scoffs, already opening his side of the car, “dude, no it wouldn’t. ill drive u back, yeah?”
[name] wasn’t joking last time when she said that she believes that the others did not like her that much.
After jack has dropped her off and waved her goodbye that evening, she was pretty sure they wouldn’t meet again other than for their project. Heck, maybe she isn’t that bad to spend time with, she has her funny moments, she thinks. She hopes. But all of them are guys, men, people. With her being the only woman there, it might have made them feel uncomfortable, at least that’s how she perceived it when she stood next to them during that garage sale.
That is why it isn’t hard to understand her shock when jack has invited her to meet with the others for a film night at their place.
At. Their. Place.
She is aware that it’s a stupid idea, accepting the invitation of still somewhat strange men. Even though jack and her have met up after that garage sale, to work, to talk, to hang out, she still is unsure of all of that.
That’s also what [name] has told him right after he invited her yesterday, she has always been direct with her thoughts and concerns. And bless him, instead of getting offended as she has initially thought, jack met her concerns with understanding, emphasizing that he understands and that he will see what he can do to make it more comfortable for her.
“you actually want me to come?” her voice was laced with hope during that call, shocked at his persistence.
“not only me,” his voice came easy from the other side of the line, “miles and vi-, uh, like, the others also liked you a lot. you’re chill, and that.”
After that, jack has called her once more to let her know that some other girls would be there, two of their closest friends who stay at their own place. He even has given her their numbers, to text and ask them if she needed [she didn’t, felt too shy to be honest].
This is how she finds herself standing in front of a big door, the sound of a heavy bass and laughter seeping through from the other side.
[name] shifts in her place, the sole of her feet pulsing with anticipation, hands clutching around the snacks she has bought along. Why has she become so shy all of a sudden, she never had such problems back home.
Ugh, whatever.
Just as she steps forward to ring the bell, a cheerful voice greets her from behind, stopping her actions.
“[name], right? Jack told me about you.” Her bright voice spreads a certain warmth in [name], easing the tension in her shoulders.
Her eyes take in her appearance quickly, long black hair, warm eyes and bright smile. She is a bit shorter than [name], still matching the rest of the height difference with a confident stance.
“yeah, hey,” she greets back, slightly startled when the woman in front of her steps forward to hug her quickly, “and you are?”
“huh? Oh, ah, yeah. Im Rachel, but like, everyone calls me Rae. So, yeah.” She laughs, stepping back.
They continue to stand there, mustering the other with their eyes until both of them start to giggle.
“that was so awkward, like, oh god.” Rae shakes her head, moving ahead to ring the bell, “but it’s nice to meet you.”
[name] shrugs, growing shy, “yeah, uhm. You too. I just didn’t know what to say-“
“ah, its fine,” rae waves, smiling at her, “wouldn’t be my first time.”
[name] opens her mouth to respond, though she stops once the door opens and both of them are met with the sight of a very flustered jack, cheeks red.
“I almost fell down the fucking stairs.” Is the first thing he says as he steps aside to let the two women enter, hand running through his hair to calm his nerves.
[name] can’t help but let her eyes wander around the hallway, taking in all those posters – which are mostly from some animes she hasn’t seen – and all the shoes, the jackets and even a plastic plant. It isn’t her place to judge, but from the way the posters are lined up, the way some random piece of clothing is left to catch dust in a a corner, it is pretty obvious that this house belongs to a group of guys.
“uh, yeah, so,” jack breaks the silence, reaching to take the snacks from [name]s hands, “the guys are upstairs, we kinda got this, like, cinema room, and yeah. I’ll prepare the snacks.” He explains, head nodding towards the staircase.
“want me to help?”
“nah, thanks. You and Rae go up, everyone’s waitin’” is all he says before he moves towards their open kitchen.
Rae smiles at [name], taking her hand in her own to lead her up the stairs, “so, jack kinda told me you’re not from here?”
[name] nods. “I’m from [Country], yeah.”
“I’ve been to different countries thanks to work, though never to [Country]. Whatcha got there?”
Shrugging, [name] follows Rae towards the new room on the second floor, looking around the hall, “you know, buildings, different cultures. It’s mostly calm, though.”
As they enter the cinema room, lights dim and various voices mixing, [name] takes a second to take in her environment. Couches lined up, in hopes to mimic actual cinema seats, a coffee table in front of each. The white wall opposite to it all functions as the screen she assumes, and she stays correct as she catches a glimpse of the projector in the far back. It actually looks quite nice, she must say.
“ladies!”
Miles is the first one to notice their arrival, voice booming across the room as he makes his way towards them. He pulls Rae into a quick hug and daps [name] up, making her giggle at his actions.
“hey, where’s jules?” rae asks, eyes in search for ‘jules’
Miles shrugs, leading the way to the others, “she cancelled, somethings came up I guess.”
Ah. Jules must be the second girl Jack has mentioned last time. A pity, even though [name] has just met Rae, she already has grown to like her. Well, the two of them are still holding hands, she hopes Rae feels the same.
It is after they both sit down and grab a drink, listening to one of the guys talking about his latest date, when [name] feels the cushion of the couch dip as someone takes place next to her.
“hey.” Voice low, vinnie gets comfortable next to her.
He smells nice, she notes. He also makes her feel weird, if she is being honest. Not in a bad way, but that air around him, his sharp eyes taking in each of her movements and everything else just seem quite intense.
Just like last time, he is wearing a tanktop, paired with shorts and slippers. Seeing his tattoos this close is actually quite nice, and even though she wants to stay as subtle about it as much as she can, being an art history major with a huge passion for arts in general makes it hard to resist.
[name] blinks. “hi.”
“so, you listen to Deftones?” He begins, leaning forward to take a cup from the coffee table in front of them.
[name] stares at him, not prepared for such question.
“uhm, no? not really. Do you?”
Vinnie clears his throat, “yeah, they’re nice, but like, I totally listen to others as well, y’know. Like – uh, yeah.” He shifts slightly, “uh, have you- have you seen luffy yet?”
Her eyes widen, voice high, “he’s here?”
“yeah, uh, I also live here and him and hera stay here with me. You can, like, you can see him if you want.”
Vinnie straightens his spine and shifts in his seat once more, his wide eyes not straying from [names] face. His cologne invades her space, in no way stingy or aggressive. Instead she feels comfortable, his scent only intensifying the warmth inside of her caused by his presence.
[name] looks around, everyone else, Rae included, is still talking, and jack has yet to return with the snacks. It isn’t as loud as it was when they first entered the room, some she has yet to meet are sitting down and looking at their phones. She wouldn’t be missed if she quickly goes ahead and sees fluffy for a second.
“what about the movie?” she asks, turning back to face vinnie, voice low as if she was telling him a secret.
“jack’s probably smockin’ ‘fore he comes up, we have like ten minutes.”
He stands up, back straight.
[name] copies him, following him out of the room to his own, she assumes.
“and hera is also a cat?”
Vinnie opens his door, broad back turned to her, “uh, yeah. Had her first, luffy’s been around for a few months now.”
They enter his room and the first thing she notices is the huge bed in the middle. The second thing she sees is a desk, a screen and a pc. There is also a mic, a comfortable desk chair and some figures on the desk. The room is big, decorated in darker colors, the colored posters along the wall a stark contrast to the general palate to the dark furniture.
She watches as vinnie tries to flick away a stray sock from his bed, hand scratching his upper arm, an attempt to look casual.
“hera’s probably downstairs, and luffy…” he looks around, but [name] has already found that bright orange fur hiding under his desk.
She crouches down, voice airy, “fluff! Hey there, baby. You remember me?”
She lifts her hand towards his nose, hoping that he would remember her. His tiny head softly bumps against it, allowing her to scratch his chin “oh, you’re such a baby, you like it?”
“so, you also got a cat?”
Oh, she forgot that he is also there.
Straightening her legs, [name] clears her throat before she answers, “uh, no. it was a dream of mine but my dad kinda hates animals inside the house.”
“you live alone now, though? I mean, Jack mentioned it once, I guess.”
Vinnie sits down on the edge of his bed, arms behind him to support his weight as he leans back.
[name] squads down once again when she feels Fluffy’s soft fur brushing against her leg, petting him some more.
“yeah, well. To study, y’know? Wouldn’t be smart to get attached.” She explains.
Vinnie nods, eyes wandering around his room as if searching for something as he speaks up again.
“uh, so. Are you with jack, or something?”
“you mean in a relationship?”
“I guess.”
Rolling her eyes, she lifts her head to look at him, “nah, more like his wingman.”
Vinnie licks his lips, nodding once more, “cool, cool. So like, you know that we, like, stream and shit, yeah?”
[name] takes a second to gather her thoughts, not sure where this conversation is going, “ah yes. Uh, jack told me after a week of hanging out, for our project, I don’t know if he told you-“
“yeah, he did.”
“yeah, so. He told me. It’s cool, not my bubble or whatever, but I respect it.” she finishes her explanation, unsure if that is what vinnie wanted to know.
After jack explained to [name] that him and his friends she met during the garage sale are all professional streamers with a rather large following, she was not sure what to think. But after talking it out and being honest from the very beginning, they both reached the conclusion that [name] would try to not show up in front of the camera if they were to film around her, nor would she share any information about them.
It was more about her safety rather than the others, as jack has told [name] about the different hate trains him and his friends had to witness.
This also explains why she felt as if she has had seen the others once when she first met them.
She didn’t really imagine meeting famous people when she promised herself to step out of her comfort zone. It hasn’t been long since she stepped on to American soil, though she feels as if she has been here for ages already.
Vinnie runs his hand through his hair, lips pressing into a tight smile, “cool, cool. So, you have tiktok?”
“I don’t.”
His head snaps to her, “no?”
Petting the cat one last time, she gets up and slowly walks towards one of his posters, looking at its details, “I had it, like, before the pandemic. Needed storage, deleted it and now its been a few years.”
“that’s crazy, what do you do then?”
“reels?”
“be for real, now.”
[name] narrows her eyes at his judgmental tone, scoffing as he raises his hands in some kid of defense, “I don’t know, it’s just when I’m bored. Leave me alone.”
“I am leaving you alone.”
“no, you’re not.”
“I deadass am.”
“no.”
Vinnie gets up, hands stemming on his hips, “I think it’s my right to know-“
“you’re a guy, you don’t have any rights.”
“oh, okay miss ma’am. am I even allowed to breathe anymore?”
“not with that attitude.” She rolls her eyes, not bothering to fight off the smile on her lips, “no wonder fl- uh, luffy’s got an attitude.”
Vinnie mock gasps, hand on his chest as if he has just witnessed the biggest betrayal known to mankind, “excuse me?”
Scoffing, she starts to walk towards the door, “shall we go back to the, uh, cinema room thingy?”
“yeah, sure. Whatever. We will be speaking again.” He waves his finger in front of her face, amused tone not ceasing a bit.
“yeah, yeah. Lead the way.”
Vinnie doesn’t understand why he feels this way about [name]. well, actually, he doesn’t even know what way he is talking about. it’s just, ever since they met again during that garage sale, he cannot help but want to get to know more about her. Is it because of her shy yet kind attitude, the way she tries to pay attention to whoever is talking right now, eyes wide and focused?
Or maybe it’s the calm energy around her, something he at times strays far away from. He knows that he can be loud, he is aware of his surroundings and that his job kind of requires him to be expressive and what not. So, seeing her be calm and talk in that soothing voice whenever someone asks her something, it’s just a nice contrast to what he is used to.
During that movie night yesterday, where he managed to get her away from the loudness to the quiet of his room, talking to her without anyone seeing. It was nice, incredibly so.
She was mean to him when he least expected it, pet luffy as if he was her own, and was a good listener. Additionally, she kind of seemed to not care about his status on social media, or how big his following actually is.
Well, at least that’s what he hopes. So far, he hasn’t seen her take any pictures during their gathering, nor has anything been leaked about their latest things. Vinnie is even unsure if he has seen her hold her phone in her hand at any time during the movie night. That was a good sign, no?
So, the next morning after the movie night, as vinnie walks down the stairs to the kitchen, he makes it his mission to get to know more about [name]. not in a stalker way, nah. But who knows. Having a calm friend that isn’t like one of the idiots he calls his own would be nice. A fresh breath of air, a warm blanket, a cold drink.
And what way would be the best to get more information about the lady that has been swirling around his mind every now and them?
Jack.
That same jack that is sitting on a bar stool at the kitchen counter, phone in one head as he uses the other to take a bite out of his toast.
He has to be subtle, vinnie thinks. Jack is smart, and his jokes are annoying. If he ever finds out that vinnie wants to know more about his new friend, he’d never be able to save himself from his teasing.
His voice is raspy when he speaks up, low with some rest sleepiness, “‘sup.”
Jack nods back at him, small smile on his lips as he types on his phone.
Interesting.
Vinnie moves behind the stool jack is sitting on, eyes glancing at his phone in hopes to catch the reason why he is smiling.
His eyes catch jacks chat with [name], currently texting her about something that’s funny.
[name] is funny, he can admit, but jack? Not a chance.
His arms reach towards the cereal box, taking it out and bending down to get a bowl next.
“so, uh. Movie was nice, right?”
Jack hums, eyes looking up at his friend, “yeah. [name] actually recommend it.”
Vinnie nods, eyebrows rising in surprise, “cool. So, like, she’s cool with the rest?”
“yeah, I think she just needs some time to get around. She’s actually really fun, y’know.”
Jack puts his phone down, standing up to place his plate into the sink.
“yeah.” Vinnie turns around, lower back now pressing against the counter as he crosses his arms in front of his chest, “she got any social media? Or something.”
Smooth.
Jack nods, walking towards the living room, “yeah, she has an instagam. But, like a private one, y’know,” he breaks off to yawn, “fifty followers or something.”
That’s all he says before leaving the kitchen, leaving vinnie to stand alone, thinking.
Which is not always a good thing, if he may say so.
So, what if he just goes through jacks two thousand followings, in hopes to find her account. yeah, he could also just ask jack, but, nah. It’s not that deep. He thinks.
“bro, just let me tag along, c’mon.”
Vinnie follows jack to the front door, bag pack on his shoulders, cappy on backwards. It’s the perfect outfit to fit in, a cool college student who is going to meet up with his friends to work on a project. Chill. If only he actually was a student going out to meet his friends on campus.
It’s just that said friend won’t let him tag along, nor has he any way to contact the other friend, as he simply couldn’t find [names] instagram profile, no matter how hard he tried.
Who the fuck follows two thousand plus people anyway? Jack is crazy, that’s for sure.
“dude, listen, I love you, I’d press you against that wall and make out with you-“
“woah, okay that’s a bit too much-“
“-but I really need to finish this up. [name] has some other courses, and I have a stream scheduled outside of LA. Today’s the day, y‘know.”
Vinnie bends down to slip on his sneakers, voice eager, “and ‘m not ‘bout to annoy you guys. I’ll just be quiet, doing my stuff.”
“like what, read manga?”
He shrugs, “sure.”
Jack pats his friend’s shoulder, “then do it at home. you’re goddamn vinnie hacker, my wet dream-“
“you too, man.”
“and probably every other girl’s as well. I can’t risk getting swarmed or whatever, [name] would kill me, and she’s got a mean punch, so.”
Vinnie takes a deep breath. He doesn’t want to use this method; it’s something he doesn’t really enjoy, a last emergency resort, somehow. Though his dear friend does not leave him with any other option.
That is why he claps his hands together, pulling his lower lip out to a nasty pout, and putting on his best puppy eyes, a performance for the theatre.
“pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease-“
“shut the fuck up and get your car keys.”
Too easy. Way too easy.
“‘sup, [name]?” vinnie eagerly [eagerly? No, he is just being polite, yeah] greets her, sitting down on the bench opposite to her.
Jack follows suit, apologetic look in his eyes, not sure how he would explain it to her. It’s not like he doesn’t enjoy spending time with his best friend. it’s just, well, he knows him quite well. Too well. Knows that vinnie has an amazing talent at getting distracted in record time, never sitting still and running his mouth in light speed. Jack hopes that [name] doesn’t mind or well, hopefully doesn’t notice it.
“hey, vinnie.” [name] smiles at him, sitting up straight.
Her notes are already on the table, spread out along with her markers and some snacks. If she had known that vinnie would come along as well, she would have brought some more. She doesn’t feel as weird around him as she did back when they first met during the garage sale, their last conversation during the movie night easing the edges of their relationship. She couldn’t help but watch him that evening, couldn’t help but notice that he likes to shift in his seat, plug the fine hair on his face, at times even pulling his lips between his teeth. She hoped he wouldn’t notice, and as for now it seems as if she has been subtle enough.
Her eyes shift from his broad figure to jack, quietly watching as he pulls out his notes. This would be the last time they meet for their project, and even though [name] is grateful to finish all this early, thus making it easier for her to focus on her other studies, she also worries that this might be the last time they hang out together. Jack has become a great friend of hers, he has been even kind enough to introduce her to his other friends, trusting enough to tell her about their, well, other job as streamers and content creators. So far, she has yet to see them create any kind of content or stream, and for some reason she is holding back from simply looking them up. This trust jack has given her has risen to an eminent position, too valuable to risk anything just because of her curiosity.
After exchanging some small talk, [name] and jack immediately lock in, eyes focusing on something displayed on their laptops. [name] even writes something down in her notebook, her shoulders rounding forward as she leans down in concentration.
Vinnie swears that he isn’t watching her to be weird, but he simply can’t help himself. Something about her, the way she pulls her lip between her teeth or tits her head when she reads something from. The paper. Just, everything about her little mannerisms ends his concentration with no mercy.
His phone feels hotter than ever in his sweaty hand, his leg can’t stop shaking, and his pulse rings through his ears.
He promised jack that he wouldn’t bother them. He swore.
“I need a cold cigarette,” jack says, the first one to speak up after an hour has already passed, “or a new brain, anything.”
Next to him, [name] chuckles, sitting up straight, “coffee would be nice.”
This is it, vinnie thinks, immediately getting up, “wanna get some?” he asks, trying to keep his voice low.
Just as jack starts to get up from his seat, vinnie starts to cough aggressively, desperately trying to get his friend to understand, blinking with his eyes in some weird way. At first, he just freezes, looking up at his handsome friend with no clue, but when jack hears [name] start to shift to grab her phone out of her bag, he immediately plops back down onto his seat, winking at his friend knowingly.
“[name], you know my order?” he asks her, watching her get up and walk towards vinnie.
[name] nods, smiling at him, “yeah, no worries.”
The two of them wave at jack before leaving for the next café, walking side by side as a comfortable silence wraps itself around them-
Well, at least it is comfortable for [name].
Vinnie could feel his heart pound against his rips with such a force that he feels like throwing up. He never knew how to shut up, so why can’t he think of anything to say now? Should he ask her about her family? Or maybe if she liked to game?
“are you also leaving for L.A. tomorrow?” she is the first one to break the silence, looking at his eyes.
Vinnie clears his throat, stepping forward to open the door of the café. His eyes follow her as she enters first, eagerly following her inside.
“uh, no. jack’s with this group for some new game,” he begins, standing next to her, “I’m doing more independent stuff these days.”
“oh, cool.”
Just as vinnie tries to speak up once more, desperate to keep the conversation flowing, the loud voice of the barista interrupts him, kindly asking them about their order.
As if on autopilot, he states their order, even [gently] pushing [name] away to pay for it.
“I wanted to treat you guys!” [name] scoffs, smiling up at him, “thank you, though.”
Vinnie nods back at her, pressing his lips into a smile, not trusting his voice at the moment.
Why couldn’t he talk to her just as he did yesterday? They even bickered, he could be calm next to her, confident, even. Why isn’t it working out now?
—— a snippet about the story i mentioned earlier! even though its nit exactly about vincent, i still like him, he’s cool :)
NOT EDITED
————
“bro, just let me tag along, c’mon.”
Vinnie follows jack to the front door, bag pack on his shoulders, cappy on backwards. It’s the perfect outfit to fit in, a cool college student who is going to meet up with his friends to work on a project. Chill. If only he actually was a student going out to meet his friends on campus.
Its just that said friend wont let him tag along, nor has he any way to contact the other friend, as he simply couldn’t find [name]s instagram profile, no matter how hard he tried.
Who the fuck follows two thousand plus people anyway? Jack is crazy, that’s for sure.
“dude, listen, I love you, id press you against that wall and make out with you-“
“woah, okay that’s a bit too much-“
“-but I really need to finish this up. [name] has some other courses and I have a stream scheduled outside of LA. Today’s the day, y‘know.”
Vinnie bends down to slip on his sneakers, voice eager, “and ‘m not ‘bout to annoy you guys. Ill just be quiet, doing my stuff.”
“like what, read manga?”
He shrugs, “sure.”
Jack pats his friends shoulder, “then do it at home. you’re goddamn vinnie hacker, my wet dream-“
“you too, man.”
“and probably every other girls’ as well. I cant risk getting swarmed or whatever, [name] would kill me, and she’s got a mean punch, so.”
Vinnie takes a deep breath. He doesn’t want to use this resource; it’s something he doesn’t really enjoy. Though his dear friend does not leave him with any other option.
That is why he claps his hands together, pulling his lower lip out to a nasty pout and putting on his best puppy eyes, a performance for the theatre.
maybe i liked how the reader ignored jude and he felt the way reader was feeling before🤭.
could u do a part 2 where they find each other in madrid and jude start liking her and she does what jude did to her, u can choose if there’s going to be or not a happy ending 😄.
(no pressure, take care🩵).
i was actually thinking of first writing the events from judes perspective!!! but thats also a nice approach, i will definitely try to make it as angsty as possible!!!
jude bellingham x reader
he knows that you like him, and even though he does not reciprocate your feelings, he simply can't stay away from you - giving you false hope over and over again, until... well, until you decide to move on.
you always had a soft spot for Jude, ever since the two of you met and became good friends, you quickly realized that saying 'no' to him would never be an option.
you first met through a mutual friend back in germany, gio reyna, whom you met because of your university course and such. it was a pure coincidence, you just needed something from him and went to pick it up after he had finished training, and that is where you first met him - jude bellingham.
it wasn't all cinematic, no emotion came crushing down on you when your eyes first met. instead, it was quiet, creeping up from behind, lurking in the shadows and gently taking a hold of you until you couldn't fight it off any longer.
what first began with a harmless follow request on instagram, later evolved into exchanging numbers and talking on a daily basis.
while you worked on your seminar presentations, jude would simply hit you up with a message, asking whether you wanted to hang out with him and a few friends or not. you were a studious person, pushing back your presentation wouldn't be bad, just for a night.
perhaps that is when you should have noticed it, that giddiness, that weird feeling in your stomach and the deep breaths you took every now and then, trying to calm your nerves- from what, you didn't know back then. now, you are aware, though it doesn't matter anymore.
you knew that jude was, or well, still is, a handsome guy, anyone with functioning eyes could tell that much. you were also well aware how popular he was with the ladies; charming smile, British accent, his big, sparkling eyes and the respectful stance he had whenever he talked to someone was enough to sweep anyone off their feet - even you.
so, when the evening you decided to meet up arrived, your hands nervously dancing along the hem of your shirt, eyes darling around the bar, searching for his broad figure, you were met with a gut that shouldn't have shocked you as much as it did back then.
it was stupid, really, getting hurt by such sight. him being surrounded by a few stunning women, who were definitely older than him, not that jude cared, apparently. young, handsome, and successful, who wouldn't want to indulge in that?
but you bit through, you still had a great time with your, actually his, friends, got a few new connections and talked with jude as well, though it wasn't as long as you wished.
a beat, and suddenly you found yourself being friends with jude for a year already, and you still could not decline whenever he invited you out, only to not pay you any attention. you had told your friends about the situation, though you never mentioned it was the young bvb star you had a bright future ahead of him. and your best friend would always tell you to get your shit together, to realize how badly you were being treated and that you deserved better.
but they didn't know him - not in the way that you did! he wasn't like that, no. because at least once during the evenings you spent together, he comes up to you, broad smile and pearly whites flashing, his arms inviting you for a hug. then, he'd ask you about your day, tell you something about his, and would always, always, hype you up if you felt insecure about your studies. because that's who he is, one of the kindest people ever.
you couldn't tell when he knew, you couldn't even tell when you did. but somehow along the lines, perhaps during one of your outings, he must have come to the very true conclusion that, oh, would you look at that - you liked him. even more than as just a friend.
you guess that is why he started to invite you out even more, though for the most bizarre reasons ever; he needed someone to pick him up from the club in the middle of the night, and he'd contact you.
at first you told yourself that it was due to the fact that he trusted you, more than anyone. a sweet lie, you chuckle as you think back to that time. how nervous you felt, trying your very best to look good even though he was wasted and wouldn't even look at you, too tired to keep his eyes open.
and that was how it always played out; he would call you if he needed someone to drive him somewhere, called you when he was bored and his other friends were too busy to hang out, called you because you always said 'yes'.
jude wasn't a bad person, he was still one of the kindest people you knew, even if he treated you as a last resort, he'd still keep the conversation going, still laughed and joked around with you, made you feel appreciated, he genuinely did!
you just wished that he would perhaps invite you to a game, give you his shirt to wear as you would watch him run around the field. you'd never lift your eyes off of him, you would dedicate so much to him.
he simply didn't care, you assume now. you can remember it as if it was just yesterday, when he told you that he invited someone else to a very important game.
"yeah, we went on a few dates, she also wants to watch me play." jude chuckled, growing as he stretched his arms to loosen up some tension built in his shoulders, "i'll try to score and dedicate it to her, bet she'll fall for me then."
and all you could do was muster up a smile, praying that it was convincing enough, all while you felt your heart slowly crumble down inside of you, scratching along your flesh.
you didn't cry, no, you weren't that sensitive, you guess. but it still hurt, watching him just move on with his life, looking at everyone with a certain interest, everyone but you.
that was when the self doubt came nagging on your ears, then moving up to your mind, ugly nails clinging along your head. it served as a constant reminder that he would never give you the chance you deserved - you deserved him.
you always helped him, never declined any of his offer! who else, if not you, could stand by his side and support him through thick and thin?
though, it seems to be true that even the most passionate among us could lose their spark. even if you still hoped him whenever he asked for help, you found yourself caring less and less about your appearance. suddenly, whenever his name popped up in your notifications, instead of your heart speeding up, you began to sigh in exhaustion, sitting your eyes to calm yourself before you answered.
and even though you still could never say 'no' to him, you found another way to not jump at any request he sent your way - you simply ignored his messages. or well, you muted them, causing you to see his messages hours after he had sent them.
your friends must have also noticed the shift in your attitude towards that guy you liked, because all of a sudden, you'd agree to meet up with them to go out for some drinks, something you usually had declined in case that jude called for you.
you even flirted with some guy, enjoying the attention that you had sought from another previously. even though you didn't want anything serious to happen with that guy, and as mean and selfish as it sounds, the attention you got from him that night boosted your confidence quite a bit. it made you realize that you were never the problem to begin with.
all these negative emotions, all the doubts, all the self consciousness you felt back then comes rushing down at you as you find yourself standing in front of a confused jude.
yo can't explain how he has found you, since you are still on university grounds, but that isn't the main focus of the situation you are currently in.
there he is, looking as handsome as ever, fresh trim and comfortable clothes, his eyes narrowed down at you.
"what is wrong with you?" he demands, the respectful tone you once oh so liked seemed to be gone.
flatly, "what?"
you have better things to do now, and if he couldn't get to his pint properly, you simply would walk away.
your eyes watch him as he takes a deep breath, as if to calm himself before he speaks up, "I called you so many times, yesterday, the day before. is your phone broken? want me to get you a new one?"
you don't know if it is to provoke him, or simply just to show it to him, but you hold your phone up, waving it slightly, "nope, still in tact."
that seems to anger him, "then why," he starts, voice falling deep, "why aren't you answering whenever i call you-"
"exam season, i'm kinda busy, you know?"
"too busy to talk for five minutes?"
"I guess."
he scoffs, hands placed on his hips, "i got some news, and, yeah. i guess you'd like to know."
of course, you did. you always do, but you don't want to fall into the same pattern that ate you up those last years. so, instead of saying anything, you decide to keep quiet, though your eyes are still focused on him, as if to tell him to continue.
he picks up your demand, "i'm transferring to madrid, i'll be moving next week."
you know you promised yourself to be nonchalant, you really try, but after hearing the new, you feel your mouth dry up.
your eyes widen slightly, and your throat seems to close up as well.
fucking...
"oh," you clear your throat, "well, uh, congrats! you always wanted to play there."
even though you genuinely meant it, it seems like your words madden jude more than ever, "that's it? 'congrats'?"
"what else do you want me to say? do you want me to cry and beg you to stay here?"
jude turns his head to the side, briefly closing his eyes. his tongue pokes against the inside of his cheek, and it looks like he tries his very best to stay calm, as if he couldn't believe what you just have said to him.
"why are you being like this?" is what he asks instead, now looking back at you.
this time, it is you who scoffs, not believing what you are hearing right now, "listen, i am genuinely happy for you, jude-"
"oh, so now we are back to first name basis, huh?" he interrupts, saying your name in a tone colder than you have ever witnessed.
whatever.
you continue, not in the mood to go along with his tantrum, "i am happy for you, and will always support you, but - yeah. i, uh, i gotta now, i have a date-"
"with whom?" he interrupts once again, but you don't care anymore.
"so, i guess i'll see you? maybe? yeah." you nod, whether it is to convince him or yourself, you don't know. but you have to leave right now, or else you might break down and yell at him.
without even looking at him, you force a smile, turn your head away and continue your walk towards the library, like you have had initially planned before jude cut you off.
the tension creeps to your shoulders, the books in your arms suddenly heavier than ever.
that hurt more than you'd like to admit.
but, it's too late anyway.
-----------
i am in love with my hot italian literature lecturer. like,,, yeah <3
