The Story of a Young Adult.

Hello my name is Patrick but you can call me "Phat". I have OCD. A 20 year old aspiring artist who loves to draw digital images(or doodle), read books and write. This tumbleblog serves as my personal & doodle blog. I am single but not wild, I love fashion and photography. An introvert with a good sense of humor.  Online Users ♥F.A.Q.♥ | ♥DOODLES♥ | ♥PERSONAL♥ | ♥REQUESTS/WIPS♥

[doodletosmile]

My first ever tattoo!! Yes!! 😂😂😂

[doodletosmile]

Changes...

Is there a way to change my email for tumblr?

[kisstheartist]

Very helpful Q&A with loish. Topics discussed:

- Style development - Flexibility vs specialization - Colour  - Art as hobby vs art as career - What to do if your parents aren’t supportive

[loish]

I did a quick video interview last week, check it out if any of the above topics interest you :)

[staypozitive]

[chibird]

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming~There’s a new Finding Dory movie coming out in the future too! :D

Note: Apparently a random bunch of my most recent drawings have been making headway around the internet as an image set, yay! 

[doodletosmile]

Nice blog

Thank you.

[doodletosmile]

Liham ng Sawi

Hello, kamusta ka na? Sisimulan ko ang liham na ito ng ayos pero hindi ako sigurado kung hanggang katapusan ganoon pa rin.

Salamat sa lahat ng mga malisyoso mong galaw at dahil doon ako ay napaibig mo. Mabait ka, pero hindi ko alam kung totoo ka. Pero alam mo kung anong totoo, mahal kita. Gago ka! kasi sa araw araw na ginawa ng Diyos baliwala lang yon. Manhid ang pagkatao mo. Kahit ako'y pinagtatawanan nila kahit kailan hindi ako tumigil na mahalin ka pero may nasabi ka ba? wala. Hindi ko alam kung masama ka pero kasi sabi mo mabait ka kaya naniniwala ako sayo. Kaso lagi mo akong sinasaktan kahit na araw araw kitang minamahal. Araw araw.

Tapos ngayon sabi mo sige subukan nating maging mag kaibigan pero bakit hindi ko ramdam. Ang alam ko kasi kinakaibigan kita hindi yung ako lang ng ako. Hello? Subukan mo naman kahit minsan kilalanin ako, kausapin ako, o kaya sumubok kang kaibiganin ako. Hindi ko kasi ramdam. Samantalang ako binigay ko sayo lahat kahit na alam kong wala kang amor doon. Para sa lalaking sumira ng kaligayahan ko, makaramdam ka. Hindi ako manhid, alam ko kung totoo ka sakin.

Kung mawawala ka sa akin, ayos lang. Pero pucha sumubok ka. Tangina naman eh! Sinabi ko sayo ito noon, oo; marunong akong tumupad ng pangako. Hinding hindi ako mapapagod. Wag mong hintayin. Kung hindi mo ako kayang turingin na kaibigan edi sabihin mo. Hindi pati sa pagkakaibigan pinapaasa mo ako. Mahal kita pero tapos na ang mga araw na magpapakatanga ako sayo. Itatak mo yan sa bato.

[doodletosmile]

I miss you guys..

It's hard when you are a supervisor at night.. I miss drawing and trading art with you all.. Gosh..

[words-of-emotion]

[doodletosmile]

...

I am working now. I feel more of an adult than a teen. It's heavy to carry all of these stress. I am stupid still.

[c-atching]

[appreciateamate]

[evanborja]

just ridin’ around.

[doodletosmile]

Where is Joseph Sayers now?

I can't find anything on the web about him now. :( he's my forever crush not because of his' nude photos but his' beautiful face.

[namtan]

[lonewolfed-deactivated20160722]

[doodletosmile]

And so I was taught.

One of the greatest lectures I’ve heard is to love yourself before you love somebody else. One question I had in mind was, am I worth loving? I was in doubt all along. I too cannot even think of how I can be loved, I hate myself for the record. A friend of mine said, to love someone you must feel good about yourself, feel complete and whatnot. Will I ever be complete? What if I tell you that the only one who can complete me is the one I love? So what’s the sense? How can you make yourself complete on your own? Is it faith? Happiness? Or the balance of both happiness and sadness? How? Even right now I am still in shock people noticed that I do not love myself as much as some people do.

That no matter what I do, I cannot let my guard down. I wonder if this is a facade, to hide all my imperfections, to cover up with how wrong I am. For the betterment of the situation, I love myself that no one can ever imagine. There are times that I feel content just from within.

Every couple I’ve met in the past seems so happy with how they are, they were. How was their relationship? I bet it was not perfect but splendid. Loving is happiness, well I am not happy; so can I be loved? I need someone who can fill in through the spaces of my fingers, to hug and to hold. I need someone there for me always, and by always I mean forever.

I want to love, give myself to the world, experience to be hurt and that eternal happiness that love can bring. In my existence I want to be with someone worth gasping for air, worth my affection and my never ending care. This is my story, a man who wants to love while he’s incomplete.

The typical guy who said that relationship is not for him but in the long run asks for more than love itself.