Ray

"you should smile more.” lol stfu. F1 and football enthusiast. Ferrari and Barca’s certified sufferer. Tech girlie. @chillipastacroissant on ao3.

[scaredycatshane]

Imagine, if you will, that you're Shane Hollander. The year is 2016 and you know that you are Down Bad for Ilya Rozanov. There is no escape. You also know you're just another name on his roster. You are suffering in silence, because that is what you do best.

Then, out of nowhere, he invites you to his actual house for the first time in 7 years of whatever the hell you two have going. He makes sure you come over early for the first time. He says it's because you flew in the day before the game. He gives you a tour and fucks you slow and sweet and sappy. He convinces you to stay the night, which you have never done before. This pattern of quick meaningless fucking is broken. He is being way too nice, and something about this gives you hope. Hope that he cares.

You take a little cat nap together in the sun. You wake up and he cooks for you, which he has never ever done. It's starting to sink in. This is a date. He cares about you. He wants you in his life. This is real and requited and you might even be able to have him for more than a couple hours in a hotel room 3 times a year.

Then he looks you in the face and says "Do you like girls?" Hold up, what the fuck?

When you deflect any further questions, he takes the opportunity to begin telling you how much he loves fucking other women, especially one he's known way longer than you.

So you jumped the gun. He doesn't feel the same, clearly. You're another name on a list, which you already knew. You let some dumb hope get the better of you and that's fine. Remember your place, this is all you can get. Take it gracefully.

Then this motherfucker moans your first name (again with the fucking firsts today), and all you can think is how amazing that fucking sounded and how you want to do it right back. You do, and fuck that felt perfect rolling off your tongue. You want to do it over and over and over again.

And then it all comes crashing down. You are another name on his list. He is your everything. You can't fucking do this. It's going to fucking kill you. You have to fucking leave. So you do.

The Tuna Melt Disaster wasn't a Classic Shane Hollander Freak Out. It was Ilya Rozanov's Fumble of the Century.

[headphonessandwich]

Finalists of the Loving Shane Hollander Competition

[brownbitchshit]

I think we as a fandom don't talk about enough how Ilya is a lover but Shane is a protector! Like yes they both are Loverboys and carers but Shane is ferally protective of Ilya since day 1.

Ilya couldn’t understand what the reporter is saying, Shane stepped up to answer for him.

He felt something was off with Ilya in Sochi, kept checking up on him.

After Sochi when Shane realized how dangerous Russia is for Ilya, he tried to convince Ilya to not go back by asking if it's safe, if he has to go back.

When Ilya opened up about his father, Shane climbed up on his lap and hugged him. In that entire episode he kept checking up on Ilya to see if he is okay, if everything back home is okay.

When they get to the cottage, Shane is taking his bag, making his food, making sure he is taken care of. When Ilya talks about the danger of having a Russian passport and marrying Svetlana, Shane is the one who stays up all night to make them 10 years plan.

When his mom questions Ilya's loyalty to Boston Shane defends him.

This isnt the end. In TLG, Shane defends Ilya to Hayden and JJ.

When the near plane crash happens Shane proposes to show Ilya that he is 100% sure about them.

Most importantly when the Commissioner threatens Ilya and Shane to destroy their career, Shane snaps and says he chooses Ilya.

Shane is constantly making sure of Ilya's wellbeing, planning things for him, defending and choosing him everytime. Ilya is 100% Shane's baby and Shane is an overprotective mother hen which I think is beautiful.

[hilarioushilarity]

Still laughing about how close Troy Barrett came to death

Role Model, Chp. 5

[themoonandmyman]

The best thing about Shane Hollander is that he is a jock, a hunk and a dweeb at the same time. Utter nerd. Autistic beefcake. my favourite sweet cheese

[probablyasocialecologist]

[hudconarchives]

wrap party “interpretive movement” (both angles)

[hollanderdiaz]

endless heated rivalry gifs 33/∞

[extraaa-30]

reheating ep1 and was struck all over again by just how kind shane's actions are during the press conference. like, he doesn't just notice ilya struggling and step in w/o drawing attention to it (while still managing to subtly ask if that's what ilya wants) to give him time to think of an answer* no, shane has to go full grade-school-short-answer mode and reuse the words from the reporter's question, repeatedly, to give ilya the chance to understand the question.

*already way more generosity than ilya is used to. this is supposed to be his rival, yet shane shields him from embarrassment so easily, automatically. and then he has the gall to respect ilya's intelligence too by answering in a way that arms him with the words to craft his own response?? fuck right the hell off.

and shane's little smile when ilya just goes "what he said" they are EQUALS!!!!!

[galecstatic]

they literally just be doing whatever the fuck this is

[mrmnn]

emotional support hand

[theaterkid13]

imagine you're the starving artist trope, actor trying to book roles, living paycheck to paycheck at a restaurant as a waiter where everyone agrees ur a bad waiter but youre hot so. you're a cinephile, love pop culture, dripping head to toe in queer culture and niche art films. anyway you audition for this really cool interesting show about queer hockey players and you end up doing a chemistry read with the most beautiful man you've ever seen whose the best actor you've ever worked with and just so happens to look eerily similar to you're celebrity crush favorite actor heath ledger and you know he's gonna get the part and you stay in contact! he's funny and sweet and so weird and loves the same weird niche art films that you do. you know he's gonna get it. and then you get the part too. and then you meet irl. you meet this walking greek god who looks like a reincarnation of your favorite actor of all time heath ledger and he has massive arms and a fat ass and good taste and you scare a bunch of kids together and bond for life. imagine living everyone's dream. imagine getting a hot bsf for life and you end up getting matching tattoos. imagine.

[bigandretired-deactivated202501]

[lavenderprose]

I know we’ve talked about this before but the retroactive realization for Shane Hollander that Ilya has been his future husband the entire time must have sent that boy spinning. What do you mean I introduced myself to my future husband. What do you mean my husband was there standing beside me the day I got drafted. What do you mean I jerked off to thoughts of my husband on the most important day of my entire life up to then. What do you mean my husband took my virginity. My husband and I watched each other grow up. My husband and I fell in love for the first time together. My husband was my first ex. My husband has been the most consistent, sensual, irritating, understanding, solid, loving presence in my entire life. Since I became a man, the thoughts I have reached for to comfort myself or bring myself pleasure have been those of my husband. I memorized the moles on my future husband’s body before I fully understood the wants and needs of my own. My husband taught me how to pleasure a man by pleasuring me. The first person I willingly came out to was my husband. My friends have NEVER known me at a time in my life when I was not in love with my husband.

[alexturntable]

I’m just gonna leave this here

[jaaneymann]

so almost all of the wuthering heights reviews are like this

[aslongasitsblack]

i think a very important part of shane hollander is that he never talks things out out loud, he figures them out fully in his head and THEN he will share, in tampa shane only approaches ilya when he has fully thought out his side of things, at the cottage shane only wakes ilya up to tell him the plan when he has every detail straightened out, he’s a very “just right” kind of guy, and like every single detail!! he’s not like “okay maybe you could play here or here and maybe we start like a thing together” NO! “ottawa. charity.”

and he gets visibly upset and unsettled when somebody tries to coax problems out of him before he has already essentially solved them, like when ilya suggests they hook up in montreal, when hayden brings up lily, when ilya tries to get them acting like a couple in boston, and when rose basically talks him into coming out

he freaks out at the fact that he can’t control every piece in the interaction and he feels he can’t sufficiently discuss these things out loud when he doesn’t have a grip on them himself

he never takes his problems anywhere, or to anyone and he’s very secretive about his interiority (and this isn’t just an ilya thing, he doesn’t have anyone he does this with)

and thats why its so special when david walks in on them that for once shane is actually forced to plan out loud and have somebody elses input and support into how he’s going to approach a situation that he’s not actually ready for

(and i think this is very important to bear in mind going into the long game, shane is a fixer not a talker, he doesn’t want to talk about problems until he already has a solution to them)

(and and because it always comes down to the fucking im sorry its also why he likes submitting to ilya, its all about giving up not only the control he has to exact over his life and material reality but also the control he experiences in his mind literally all the time)