aaa

update: the hockey gays got me ❤️🔥 update 2: project hail mary (occasionally still: good omens, percy jackson, wicked movie)

[equippedtolove]

SOMEWHERE in the depths of shane's messages there is a groupchat called 'our overlord and majesty jane + her servants (the raiders)' where, a couple weeks after tunameltgate, (and ilya seemingly being possessed by a soviet war general during practice) cliff had personally taken it upon himself to have every single raiders player beg and plead jane to take ilya back, for fear of their lives. the chat periodically comes alive during progressions in their relationship ('can't believe roz is whipped enough to move to OTTAWA, man!') and you BETTER believe it explodes after the fanmail video.

[stabthroughme]

Hollanov freak4freak in the Cens locker room:

When Lisa has a bad shift at work and suddenly has Wyatt planning how he wants to be buried/his funeral and Shane and Ilya both decide when they die (at the same time) they will be sharing a coffin. Or even better going full Classics mode and mixing their ashes together. They declare this out loud then return to stick taping.

Shane calling Lisa to ask if they (doctors) would do elective surgery to transplant their bones into each other on speaker phone. Ilya is beaming.

Shane watching Ilya tape his stick. Ilya who only developed his “way” of taping his stick post 2017 All Stars when he saw how Shane did it. They match. Shane acts like Ilya is performing a strip tease.

Ilya hearing Shane talk to the new Russian rookie in Russian, talking abt how if he ever needs anything to call Shane and/or Ilya. He knows how isolating it can be etc etc. Ilya finds it sweet but is irrationally possessive about Shane speaking Russian to anyone else ever.

Ofc they’re compatible blood types and at some point Shane discovers some new “health spa” thing that does private blood transfusions. He books an appointment for him and Ilya. On full volume on his headphones in the middle of the gym. The Ducklings (younger players) are now convinced Shane and Ilya are vampires. When they try to bring it up to anyone else Bood asks Ilya and Ilya beams and goes “we switched blood”. The same voice and tone as “we got Anya a little sister” after a long weekend where they acquired a kitten.

[sabotage-on-mercury]

Rolex invites Shane to the Royal Box at Wimbledon again and this time Shane accepts because Rolex specifically asked if he could bring his husband as well and fuck yes he can and together Ilya and Shane are ready to serve so much cunt. They both get dressed in some sharp, elevated summer suits, Ilya in Versace and Shane in Gucci, the dramatic sunglasses & the bitchiest, judgiest mogging are ON, they mirror each other as they cross their legs; occasionally they're holding hands or sit with Ilya's arm around Shanes waist, they are the epitome of power husbands & this is their playground. Do they have one clue what is going on on the court? Of course not. That doesn't stop them from having a fabulous time showing off each other. They know they steal the limelight looking as devastating as they do, together. Turns out these dreadful PR appointments are actually incredible fun when you have your husband/best friend / soulmate with you and Shane can't imagine how he ever did this without Ilya.

Now picture this, occasionally they whisper into each other's ears, sometimes its just sweet nothigns and sometimes it's some devastating chirps about tennis, and each time a precious smile breaks through, only for each other, but it drives the photographers wild.

(afterwards, Ilya is excited to have the perfect summer with Shane where they fuck their way across europe)

[bluegiragi]

long distance selfies

early access + nsfw on patreon

[ceruleanheaven]

guys i liedddddd 😭😭😭😭😭 i actually want it 😭😭😭 i want it so bad 😭😭😭😭 i want it so bad its ruining my life 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[gaygoatshane]

[leaveamessage]

Fouling in the MLH takes a steep decline the first year Shane & Ilya play together on the Centaurs, and they’re a bit confused why all their regular season games have been relatively un-physical. Then in one game against Toronto, some idiot (probably Dallas Kent) crosschecks Luca, and the Centaurs activate the Hollanov Power Play Special they’ve been training for all season and Toronto is swiftly, instantly, and absolutely fucked. Suddenly it becomes very clear why every team in the league is on their best behavior against Ottawa: because against Shane and Ilya’s power play, a foul will almost always cost you a fucking goal. That’s how insane their power play percentage is, and all the other teams can do is never give them a reason to be on the ice together. (Personally, the other Centaurs love this and go out of their way to draw fouls, just to see the immediate horror on the other team’s faces)

[flyora]

Happy Anniversary

[twiggy-boy]

Something something the religious imagery in phm with the whole "hail Mary, full of grace" sacrificial lamb something something

something something Eva Stratt being named after the first woman, the first scapegoat, the reason the garden died (paving the Sahara, nuking Antarctica) while simultaneously being the reason any of them are alive

Idk

[mutinsfromthemoon]

a lot of the centaurs learning that shane fucking hollander hockey robot is a YAPER. some of them are walking towards the locker room and as they get closer they start hearing very animated voices talking loudly and they recognizes ilya and shane’s voices and shane is explaining something to ilya and ilya is laughing hard at that and they’re just going back and forth about this topic and having fun with it and then the teammates finally round the corner and walk in and see ilya sitting on the bench half dressed fishing to putting his hockey gear and shane standing up gesturing with his hand talking very animated and still in his compression clothes and then it hit them that they genuinely didn’t know nothing about shane outside his PR image and they learn that not only shane talk loudly and a lot but shane and ilya are genuinely best friends on top of being married. and of course ilya wouldn’t be wiling to marry someone that doesn’t make him laugh or understand his type of humor. the chemistry of hockey husbands are in and out of the rink. that’s soulmates shit fr

[sonja-cherno]

We've talked about Grace's rainbow symbolism in this scene, but I haven't seen anyone pointing out the detail of Stratt having a line of countries' flags behind her on her first appearance

[hrsocials]

.one hundred and eight. stan time.

[mutinsfromthemoon]

they’re doing one of those fun videos interviews with the communications intern. the guys walking through the tunnel before hitting the ice and drawing question from a cup the intern is holding. shane picks one and reads it out loud “if you could spend a day with anyone in the world, who would it be?” and he doesn’t even hesitate “i already do that” and the intern is like “wait what do you mean?” and shane gestures vaguely in ilya’s direction and ilya that was right behind him with troy and others centaurs, just open the biggest grin on his face and all the guys start groaning and booing cus they’re disgustingly in love and can never be normal about each other

[prigorie]

hollanov met in december 2008 and got married in july 2021. approximately 12 years and 7 months. it's very possible that by the time they got married, shane had been in ilya's life for longer than his mom

[hr-rep]

Shane getting criticized for not using pride tape and he’s caught on a mic later that week saying I didn’t realize it wasn’t the sucking dick that made me gay but the rainbow . Which is how he comes out.

[aslongasitsblack]

yes shane not realising people are flirting with him but also shane not realising that HE is flirting with men he finds attractive shane who naturally flutters his big brown sparkly eyes more often whenever hes talking to a big strong handsome man shane who automatically tilts his head slightly down so his gaze is directed upwards shane whose voice turns soft and buttery while he’s delivering smooth jabs and quick compliments shane whose mouth quips into a glint of teeth and scratches the back of his neck so his bicep strains against the cuff of his t shirt shane who says ‘yeah you’d like that?’ without thinking and hums round and airy ‘mhmm’ in acknowledgement shane insisting ‘i was NOT flirting with him.’ when ilya brings it up later and ilya shrugs and says ‘you cannot help it…you’re super gay…i don’t mind, im the only one that makes you nervous’ and grins wickedly while shane blushes and makes a sound in the back of his throat as ilya descends upon him

[notevengonnaanswerthat]

[honeyybrii]

shane effortlessly defying ilya's internal self deprecation with the most blunt, heartstopping, to the point sincerity is such an important part of their dynamic to me

"but you know me, i'm lazy, so." "i don't know that side of you at all."

"is that what we are going to do? relax?" "i hope so. i would like to relax with you. for once."

"because you like to be bad." "hey, that's not what this is. you and me. maybe it was at first but, not now, and not for a long time."

to the point where it even usurps other peoples interpretations of ilya before he gets the chance to internalize them -

"but, you hate him." "no. i mean, i get that. but no. i love him."

and ilya has that exact same subtly gobsmacked expression every time he does it

[darlingofdots]

they don't really use pet names when they're around other people but their teammates learn very quickly that there is ilya (positive) and ilya (negative) and rozanov (fuck yeah that was fucking gorgeous) and rozanov (if you do not shut the fuck up immediately i swear to fucking good) and shane (adoring) and shane (sad) and hollander (that's how you fucking do it!) and hollander (sit your fucking ass down or we will have a problem) and these distinctions are way more important to keep track of than the five times a month hollander calls cap "baby" and cap's face goes all sappy