Dora

[itskurwanumber5]

Oh no Ilya doesn't find Shane folding his clothes hot. He thinks it's adorable. He's giddy. Because this dumb fuck has a fucking crush.

He has a crush and he's not even aware for fuck's sake.

[sabotage-on-mercury]

Ilya wants to do one of these "celebraties I don't think my husband can name" videos where he shows different singers to Shane because he thinks it's just too adorable how Shane has no clue about the music industry at all, only for the video to go like this:

- Oh that's Gaga. You know Lady Gaga? Of course, Ilya! She was in A star is born. Really good actress. She is more of a singer actually... Oh yeah that makes sense, I guess. You guess?! Please tell me you know Poker Face, lyubimyy. I know for a fact you have been to a club, you must have heard Poker Face before. I don't know, maybe. [Ilya starts singing Poker Face]. You're lucky you play better hockey than you sing, baby. Oi!!

- Oh I know how him! That's Armando! That's Pitbull. I'm pretty sure that's a human? Are you fucking with me Shanya. Of course baby. I know that he is a rapper but it feels so weird to call him Pitbull, when we met in Miami he said he was Armando. You met in Miami?? Yeah well, was a few years ago, he invited our team to this house- Pitbull invited the Montreal boring fucking Metros to his fucking house???

- Kesha! Do you know her songs? Absolutely none, no. How the fuck- Why am I even suprised you know her too. Oh we met at Roses birthday party in LA. She is so funny, I think you would like her! Maybe I should introduce you. What the fuck- You know what, I call her. Shane!

- Oh that's Kayleigh right? Kayleigh. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's her. That's Chappell Roan. Dykstra is playing her non-stop in the lockerroom. Oh, really? Pink Pony Club? Good Luck, Babe? Casual? Sounds familiar yes. [Ilya starts singing Casual] [Shane blushes] I think... I think I remember now yeah. Didn't know that was Kayleigh. How do you know all these people but have no clue what they do? Oh funny story, she is a good friend of Rose actually-

- Oh, that's Sam! Sam Smith. I've been to a concert. Met backstage. Really cool person. Shanya, you're surprising me? You go to concerts? Well uhm. When... when I was with Rose she got us tickets and - Yeah okey.

- Montero! Or Lil Nas X. Shall I guess: Another friend of Rose? Maybe, I should ask her. Actually we did this campaign together and- I hate you.

- Oh thats the actress from the movie. The movie with all the actresses. Oceans Eight. That's Rihanna. Yeah! Rihanna. I really liked her there, she should do more movies. Shane, she is actually a singer. Oh, that's cool. You're killing me. What? Should I know her? Shane. Lyubimyy. We literally had our first dance to her song.

- That's Benito! Nice guy. You know Bad Bunny? Who is a bad bunny? That is Bad Bunny. Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio. Okay yeah? He is literally the biggest singer in the world. Is he now? Yes! Oh, wow he didn't mention. Wait, you met Bad Bunny? Yeah, well we were at some galas together, but to be fair he said- Galas? Like how many? Dunno, like four, five times and- Ilya is your nose bleeding?

[doranymphs]

shane only agreed to do it to ragebait ilya

and it worked

rose is having a great time in the corner

she definitely put the idea into ilyas head to fuck with him

[outromoonyy]

"Moony and I decided that if we're both still single at thirty, we're going to marry each other."

James choked on his pumpkin juice. Lily, who had been lazily playing with the ends of James’s hair, froze. 

"You what?" James wheezed.

"It’s a pact," Sirius explained casually, reaching over to steal a piece of bacon off Remus’s plate. Remus didn't even look up from his book; he just automatically shifted his plate an inch closer to Sirius so it would be easier for him to reach. "If we hit thirty and neither of us has found a wife, we'll just tie the knot. For tax purposes. And because I can't cook."

Lily stared at them. She looked at Sirius, who was currently wearing one of Remus’s jumpers, and then at Remus, who was using Sirius’s knee as an armrest.

"Right," she snorted. "A pact."

"Yeah," Remus mumbled. "It’s practical. We already know we can tolerate each other."

"Tolerate," James repeated, incredulous. "Sirius, you literally threatened to hex a first-year yesterday because they bumped into Remus in the corridor."

"He was moving entirely too fast," Sirius defended, looking genuinely offended. "Moony has bad joints."

"And Remus," Lily continued. "You spent three hours last week mending a tear in Sirius's jacket by hand because he claimed the reparo charm makes the leather 'feel itchy.'"

"He has very sensitive skin, Lily," Remus defended. "You know he only sleeps on silk pillowcases."

James rubbed his face with both hands, looking like he was rapidly losing his grip on reality. 

"You two have lived in each other’s pockets for six years. You pushed your beds together since fourth year, you sign your Christmas cards together, Sirius only lets you cut his hair and refuses to study unless his feet are resting in your lap. Yesterday, I watched Sirius eat a piece of toast directly out of Remus's hand."

"My nails were drying," Sirius argued. "I couldn't risk smudging the polish." 

"You're already married!" James exclaimed, throwing his arms up. "You just haven't signed the paperwork! I feel like I'm third-wheeling a sixty-year marriage every time I sit in my own dormitory!" 

Sirius scoffed, rolling his eyes at Remus. "We are not inviting him to the wedding.”

James put his head down on the table and refused to speak for the rest of breakfast.

[brokentoasterrr]

ilya posts a video on instagram with the caption “my husband and the dog he didn’t want” and it’s shane cradling anya like a baby outside the vet’s office whispering “you were so brave, honey. we’ll get you a pup cup on the drive home and you can sit in my lap while papa drives. you did such a good job when the scary lady poked you. such a good girl” and people everywhere lose their fucking minds

[basietta]

[outromoonyy]

In the middle of a lazy afternoon in the dorm, Remus sliding his hand under Sirius's shirt just to feel his heartbeat, then pressing a kiss right over it and trying very hard not to smile when it immediately starts beating faster.

[outromoonyy]

James mentioning his parents in front of Sirius

[doranymphs]

every time i look at francois, i need to remind myself that he is forty and waaay out of my league

[bugslibraryy]

SOMEONE TALK TO ME ABOUT THE FIRST TIME ILYA BOUGHT SHANE FLOWERS ANS SHANES REACTION TO GETTING FLOWERS

[that-one-annoying-fan-girl]

Ilya and Luca being mutuals for years on their hollanov stan accounts. Where Ilya is posting unhinged stuff, memes and fights Shaydens. While Luca does hollanov fanfiction and fanart.

[sshurkis]

dorcas and remus are exes and I stand by it!

[doranymphs]

they both realized they were bi and then broke up and remained besties

[doranymphs]

so my thing about Connor's Met look is, that man literally looks like a Greek statue, and they couldn't use that??!?

don't get me wrong, he looked amazing, seriously im so proud of him

but I was expecting so much more considering the theme, like there was so much potential

then again he looked amazing and I will consume any content thrown at me🤭

[doranymphs]

hear me out

Antonio Cipriano as James Potter

🫠

[komaami]

Two of God's best creations 🥹❤️

[doranymphs]

a year ago, they were working at restaurants

i repeat, a year ago, they were working at restaurants

im so proud of them omg😭

[your-cab-is-definitely-here]

I'm thinking about that first night at the cottage, after the fire and the loons and "she was so funny and beautiful" and how they'd finally put the fire out and go back inside, both of them a bit quiet and feeling bruised and clingy, Ilya following Shane around while he does his nightly tasks around the cottage. Gradually they'd shift out of that quiet space into another round of sex, a bit slower and quieter maybe than they've been all day, and after, when Shane ducks into the bathroom to clean up and brush his teeth, Ilya sees to the bed. They've already changed the sheets twice today but luckily they can get away with not changing them again now, Ilya thinks, so he just straightens everything out and sorts out untucked corners and the like, hands moving on autopilot while his mind grapples with everything that's happened today. He doesn't quite notice, therefore, that he's just doing everything he'd normally do after he and Shane have fucked and Shane has left to go back to his team or his apartment or whatever.

And then, suddenly, Shane's voice behind him: "Um, Ilya? What are you doing?" and Ilya realises he's swapping their pillows, like he always does when he's sleeping in a bed that Shane has vacated. Reaching for the pillow that Shane was using, however briefly, bringing it briefly up to his face for a quick sniff of the residual smell of Shane's hair, that distinctive coconutty citrussy shampoo, before dropping it onto his preferred side of the bed so he can tuck his face into it and hold on to the little leftover pieces of Shane for a bit longer.

He twists around to face Shane, bashful and a bit shamefaced, and finds a look of complete and utter understanding. Like maybe Shane, too, is used to scavenging, to rooting for the crumbs of Ilya he's allowed to hold on to.

But tonight they don't need to. For the next two glorious weeks, they don't need to. They can gorge themselves on each other, feast off each other's bodies like kings, find out just how far the limits of their hunger go.

The sting of relief, of gratitude, is almost too much to bear. Too much to bear alone, so Ilya opens his arms, reaches, asks, like he never would have dared to before, and Shane makes a strangled sound and barrels into him, bearing down with all his body weight to press Ilya into warm wrinkled sheets that still smell like them both.

[hr-rep]

First dick pic that Shane sends Ilya is unprompted, has no message attached and shitty lighting, and makes Ilya drop his phone on his own face.

[doranymphs]

okay but before the outing the cens are on the road and troy is hanging out with ilya after a game just scrolling with a movie in the background or sm then the pic comes in and ilya does drop his phone on his face and troy is like 'bruh are you okay?' and ilya is unnaturally red and cursing in russian and saying 'is nothing you should go' and making excuses of sleeping early and troy is laughing and says jokingly 'you look like someone sent you a dick pic' and ilya freezes for a second too long and troy is like 'omg someone did??' and this is after new york conversation so troy is putting stuff together in his head (in horror, mind you) and ilya is shoving troy out of the room because he NEEDS to call his boyfriend now

[doranymphs]

In tlg, when ilya has the dream with his mother, she's looking at him, smiling at him, even holding his hand, but she is not talking to him.

it made me think what if that is because ilya has forgotten what she sounded like. like he has forgotten her voice. that's why she's not talking...