If you think helendale is toxic and should be seen like that then you watched with your eyes closed and never listened to the actors give insight into that relationship and you should stick to ignoring female characters so you can center your gay ships and their two seconds of screen time
hi anon!! i’d actually really love to have this conversation with you!! it’s a shame that you’ve came to me with a lot of negativity, unaware of my other posts and opinions on The Newsreader but I’m more than happy to express those opinions.
I’d also like to say before I start infodumping, that I’ll be speaking on Helen & Dale’s romantic relationship in season1 - season2, not their platonic relationship in season3!! This is also by no means a hate post or trying to make people who enjoy this ship feel ashamed, I would just like to point out my own observations and analysis’ on the other side of these two’s relationship that isn’t spoken about.
Of course, Helen & Dale have their sweet and tender moments. (shown above.) It’s undeniable that they are the most romantic dynamic within the show, from how they connect and support each other. There is so much love and affection between them, but a misconception I’ve seen online is that they’re not toxic, which they most definitely are. They’re not as toxic, (nor the same kind of toxic dynamic) as Dale’s dynamic with Tim, which his repression pushes Tim away, but I’d argue; Dale’s repression hurts Helen also.
Dale’s repression comes from his struggles with his sexual identity and his own individuality. From the trauma of what happened between him & Adam; this has made him emotionally unavailable with relationships (platonic, romantic & familial) and so so frightened. He, even unconsciously, is too afraid to be his complete and true self, which builds a huge wall between him & Helen truly being able to connect & trust each other to a full amount. Of course, he adores Helen. He loves her while his feelings for Tim are merely carnal, which is something I went deep on here. However, that love for Helen came from worship. Of course he’d worship her in season1, she’s everything he wants to be. Everything he wishes he was. Loved by the public. A skilled journalist & newsreader. To Dale, that’s a dream. That’s inspiring. A need. I believe he specifically wanted to be in Geoff’s shoes, (hence the whole strange dynamic with Kay in season3.) but Helen was someone that had that position he yearned for. She’s perfect, to him. Dale wants that kind of stability so badly, to fill the emptiness that he feels with the public’s love, unaware that that emptiness comes from his repression. I’m not implying that he somehow used Helen to build his career (which I know a lot of people say, which is completely untrue), it was as if she were a deity to him.
There are multiple cases that I’ve noticed, where Dale prioritises his dream over Helen. One being whenever Helen had ran out of medication when she was on the verge of a breakdown, she calls him and asks if he can go to her office, which he denies so he can film, she pleads for him to at least bring her some water; he denies again. Of course, Dale had no idea that Helen was on the verge of a mental breakdown, he knows she’s mentally unstable, but he doesn’t know the full extent of it. You could argue that he denied because he was pressured with time, but we’ve seen before that, that’s not been a problem. However, I do not think he did this intentionally to be malicious, but it’s showing the subtle beginning of what Dale becomes at the end of season2 & throughout season3. His career comes first.
(I have to mention that this is beautifully paralleled in season3 with Dale & Kay on the phone, after Dale has his own mental breakdown on air, which told me that this scene was indeed important.)
Before this, Dale tells Helen that they should keep some distance because of gossip around them at work. It’s understandable, but it’s prioritising his career over Helen once again because of some rumours that wouldn’t ever impact him negatively, when they’re in a relationship; this actually boosts his career with the ‘Golden Couple’ name. If anything, those rumours impact Helen negatively, not Dale. Dale is praised whenever it turns out that he is actually with Helen, while Helen immediately assumed that people were slut-shaming her when Dale makes her aware that there are rumours. This ties in with my discussion of Helen & how the patriarchy affects her further down in this post. It’s quite interesting that Dale is so flustered over uncomfortable remarks thrown his way, when Helen, a woman, is treated and spoken about even worse than some cheeky teasing.
I’m not going to mention arguments, as every relationship will have disagreements and only ever agreeing with each other is most likely a signal of toxicity, but their arguments are intense. Of course, they come to a conclusion and find peace with each other, but before/during, Helen is seen that she gives Dale the silent treatment, an unhealthy coping mechanism and Dale responds in a defensive way, a normal way to respond but the incorrect way, which only makes the tension and situation between them worse. To me, these two coping mechanisms come from their own trauma which blossoms in their relationship from their misunderstanding of each other. They need communication, but do not understand how to give it due to the emotional unavailability and almost self-sabotage habits Dale has.
Skipping on, I personally believe that the kiss he shared with Tim was cheating, even if Tim initiated it first, and Helen had all the right to feel so much rage, heartbreak and betrayal all at once. It completely shattered that sweet Dale she always had in her head, the one that could never hurt her, the man who saved her life. Of course she forgives, but I don’t think she ever forgot.
Now, with Helen, we have an understanding to why throughout season 1 - season 2, she does not give these unhealthy traits any mind; because Dale is the best man she’s ever met. Helen’s entire experience with men has been miserable, to her resentment for her father for abandoning her to the implied sexual abuse from Lindsay (that I’d argue isn’t just implied). She suffers from the patriarchy on such a high level for being not just a woman, but one that is confident in who she is. Not to mention, she’s a woman who is confident in her position in work who suffers from mental health issues (which was discovered was Borderline Personality Disorder in season3.) She is struck down time and time again by men & the patriarchy for this. Of course, her love for Dale is adoring and passionate. Dale saved her life. She hadn’t ever paid Dale any mind before he did so and she found out that their chemistry was fresh and pure, unlike anything she had ever experienced with any other man. To Helen, nobody will ever reach that level, ever. Who could ever rise up to that? The man that saved her life? I know as someone that has a personality disorder, that something so undeniably loyal and heroic that is; you’d immediately attach yourself to that said person. Not to mention, Dale’s worship interlocks with Helen’s attachment, she sees that devotion and it makes her affection grow. I wouldn’t say it blinds her per se, but his actions in comparison to the men in her life; is nothing.
Despite all of this, worshipping another person / being attached to someone is unhealthy, hence why I described their relationship as toxic. Again, I’m not saying they don’t love each other, they very much do, but it started from codependency. This feeling is addictive and feels nice but will inevitably crack and crumble, as we see with Helen & Dale through season 2. Helen quite literally says to Dale in the season finale of season 2, that she cannot function without him. This is unhealthy. And that’s alright, observing that their relationship had flaws is alright, because there were flaws. Toxicity isn’t just yelling and screaming at each other, it’s the quietness that disguises itself as peace of Helen & Dale’s relationship.
It’s truly a push and pull dynamic between them, Dale’s emotional unavailability and Helen’s attachment, that would’ve been a never ending cycle if they chose that white-picket-fence future that would’ve been miserable for both of them. It’s shown that they were always better as friends in the last season, although I am disappointed that we didn’t get much of their romance that was left behind, it was for the best. Their friendship is beautiful and it made their connection even more stronger than it was when they were romantically involved.
With my own perception, I view both dynamics (helen & dale / tim & dale) with a critical lens. Dale was not good for either of them and that’s exactly what I find so fascinating about those ships. Of course, I’m assuming you saw my username is ‘timdales’ and I made a timdale post which I can completely understand you immediately came to the assumption that I’m one of those people who say malicious things about helendale as a romantic ship, which I’m very much not!! I appreciate both ships in the same exact way, as Dale subconsciously has his own ways of demeaning them for his own career while it’s also subconsciously coming from his shame & repression throughout season1 - season2 too, even if one is more pushed away than the other. In the tags, I stated that they are ‘two sides of the same coin’, I was not talking about the aspects of their individual relationships; I was talking about how Dale’s emotional unavailability affects those two dynamics in a way that is hurtful. The same hurt. The same tragedy.
Even then, Helen and Dale’s bond is so much stronger than what Tim and Dale’s could ever be, and I would never ever disagree with that. That’s just fact.
Sorry to put you through that whole think-piece!! I’m just quite passionate about this show and the layers behind the characters & their relationships.
Of course, I’m not expecting you to understand where I’m coming from or change your perception of me, and I’m not even expecting you to read all of this!! But I wrote this to go a bit more deeper than a silly post I made. I’ve been meaning to write about the other side of Helendale’s dynamic, and I write this with absolutely no disdain and I hope you have a lovely day/night!! If you, or even anybody else who sees this post, has any disagreements, I’d love to talk about it so we can come to an understanding!! I apologise if my original post came off ignorant, and I hope we can see eye to eye.
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