I'm following closely the discussions you post about beta-reading (thank you for your service! 🙏 your kindness and patience astound every time) and I'm genuinely baffled by how many people seem to operate under the assumption that an author is obligated in any way whatsoever to take any of the feedback they receive from beta-readers.
I've had three beta-readers in three different fandoms, with all of whom I'm still in very good relationships, and this is literally the first time it's occurred to me that anyone might expect the beta-reader's word to be taken as gospel truth and law.
To my knowledge, my beta-readers have never expected me to reply to each and every remark they make on a draft - I reply only whenever they've asked a direct question or when I don't fully understand and need clarification or want to discuss some problem. In all the rest of the cases - the advice has been given, whether or not I take it in not really up to anyone but me. We can discuss the fic separately, or chat in general about our fandom, but they will only see the end result in the published fic or the next draft in any case.
For me, the feedback a beta-reader gives me is exactly like advice from a friend - I am under no obligation to take it, I can ask more than one person for advice, and I ultimately know my own thoughts, feelings and circumstances best and the final decision is mine alone. What I actually owe to someone who's been kind enough to give me advice is to take time to think about it in good faith and not dismiss it outright, and to thank them. No more and no less.
I believe a beta-reader doesn't know my story better than I do. They are usually not any more qualified to say how it should be written than I am. They are just as subjective and bring as many of their own tastes and prejudices as I do. They cannot and should not dictate how much time and effort I put into writing or editing a story. Hell, some of the people who volunteer to be beta-readers aren't even as good at spag and characterization as they claim they are!
And at the end of the day, even if they are completely in the right (even if we assume there is even such a thing as objective "right" in fic-writing) and I am completely in the wrong, this is my fic, my decision, and my right to make my own mistakes.
(Of course, if (general) you find yourself dismissing everything or most of what your beta-reader tells you, then maybe you either don't really need one, or need a very different type of beta-reader, or simply don't vibe with this person in this exact capacity. Author/beta-reader is a kind of personal relationship, and as every personal relationship, you're free to choose whom and how to have it with, or not have it at all.)
Thank you for letting me put my thoughts into writing here, and for running this blog!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us all!
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