Pinned post 2.1.1 Slightly More Future-Proof Edition
General information and rules
You can request stuff if requests are open, please check the ask button to see if requests are OPEN or CLOSED, I'll have it up there in all caps.
Please read the will/won't write sections before requesting
Please specify reader's gender if possible. I will write any gender, but it helps to know what I'm working with up front
I reserve the right to turn down any requests
I have a kofi you can support me on, obviously not required, but always appreciated.
Do not follow: minors, blank/ageless blogs (please put your age or age range in your bio before you follow), men dni blogs, women dni blogs, proship/comship/"anti-censorship," harry potter fans, daredevil fans (this one's personal don't worry about it just don't ask)
Anons: 🪶, 🌽,🔎,🌨️
More information under the cut. Character list at the very bottom.
Will write:
Any gender of reader
Smut
Fluff
Light angst in some specific cases
Hurt/comfort
My ocs. I write about those little guys from my head a lot.
Miscellaneous kinks: bondage, dom/sub, breeding, toys, pegging, daddy/mommy as a title i guess, monsterfucking, threesomes, omo/watersports (block the tag #jarate moment if you don't want to see that bc i know this one's pretty out there compared to other kinks i write), pretty much any position
Won't write
Yandere
"Dark" romance
Incest
Pedophilia
Rape, noncon, or dubcon
Whatever booktok daddy dom borderline abusive boyfriend the leon residence evil fans that drove a lot of us normal people away think he is
Miscellaneous kinks: choking, scat, cg/l, feederism/fat fetish, any oppression/bioessentialism kink, any request that's vague about consent and yes that has happened before
And the orb is either stabilized or removed, idk. It's the first time he and her are being completely naked and he feels her hands on him more (obviously he cums so quick after some high pitch whimpering and moaning).
you had me at gale cums fast
Contains: jerking off through underwear, subby Gale
-
After all this trouble with the orb and the perils of the journey you were already on, it felt nice to just be close to Gale. You sat him in your lap and ran your fingers through his hair. Soft, especially considering he'd been washing his hair in rivers, same as the rest of the party. Well, if he could conjure up a bed, he was probably doing something with his hair. His skin felt soft too, and your touch left goosebumps as you caressed every inch of him. With your lips on his he could only moan and whimper into your mouth, little mewls that made you want more.
"Mm, you're so cute when you're worked up," you mumbled in between kisses.
Your hands traveled down to the waistband of his underwear. "Here?"
"Mhm..." he whimpered.
You grabbed his hips and rubbed them with your thumbs. He let out an embarrassingly loud moan.
"Please, please..." he begged. You could listen to him talk all day, but seeing him so worked up that he couldn't speak in complete sentences drove you wild.
"Please what?"
"Don't tease me... Need you... here..."
He dragged one of your hands over to his bulge. You caressed it through the fabric and cut his whines short with another kiss.
Somehow he could still communicate as you continued to rub him, feeling precum leak through his underwear. You gently laid him down on the bed and kept going, which allowed him to jerk his hips upward against your palm so desperately that you bet if you stopped moving your hand he'd just keep going until he came.
You wouldn't find that out though, because he came right then and there with a long whine. The wet spot grew against your hand with every spurt and he sunk into the mattress, utterly spent and sticky and burning with embarrassment but too blissed out to really care.
like it seems to me like Emily's whole thing was "see we don't hate our scary children with sci-fi horror diseases!" but they made her too nice, in terms of both design and personality. if emily had a different hair color or a different outfit or even just a bit of an attitude i wouldn't feel this looming sense of "see eveline was the bad science experiment child but this is the good science experiment child"
what capcom fails to understand is i would give ALL of their science experiment children a gun to use against their tormentors. they would ALL get a gun. not just the good ones.
the appeal of RE infection aus in part comes from this unspoken "if you have the disease that makes the videogame enemies you are automatically too dangerous to live" rule and even though shadows of rose and re9 bend that rule a bit i still feel deep down that if emily was even a little bit impolite she'd get the eveline treatment. like I'm so over this good kid bad kid shit and I swear they color coded those two. really? you're gonna have the sweet little angel monster child in white? with white hair? ughhhhhhh rolling my eyes so hard i pop a blood vessel in my face
that being said i do love the happy ending of re9, just felt a bit toothless taken with everything else imo. and i will continue to write about monsters from the monsters perspectives anyway
the appeal of RE infection aus in part comes from this unspoken "if you have the disease that makes the videogame enemies you are automatically too dangerous to live" rule and even though shadows of rose and re9 bend that rule a bit i still feel deep down that if emily was even a little bit impolite she'd get the eveline treatment. like I'm so over this good kid bad kid shit and I swear they color coded those two. really? you're gonna have the sweet little angel monster child in white? with white hair? ughhhhhhh rolling my eyes so hard i pop a blood vessel in my face
that being said i do love the happy ending of re9, just felt a bit toothless taken with everything else imo. and i will continue to write about monsters from the monsters perspectives anyway
I saw the self aware sniper and solder hcs, Can I request Self aware Medic and Pyro pretty please?
absolutely!
Pyro
You've picked up some of Pyro's lines through context clues and inflection
"Sentry ahead" and "thank you doc" are old hat to you but what are you supposed to do when Pyro starts talking to you about... that soldier that keeps rocket jumping into your base? Maybe?
Pyro would offer some fascinating insight into this game, but the communication barrier isn't budging very much, and you can tell they're kind of frustrated about it.
Best you can do is ask yes or no questions, or anything where you can expect a straight answer.
Medic
Healing in videogames, I always say, is a thankless job. At least you two can complain about it together.
If you're feeling spread too thin or underappreciated as your teammates rush into more danger than you can save them from, Medic is right there with you.
Be prepared for his mad scientist ramblings, although the fact that most of his experiments don't work like that in real life really bum him out.
"So no loch ness hamster heart transplants?" buddy there's no such thing as a loch ness hamster
If it's possible, could I request Astarion× fem girlfriend reader/tav
Astarion is sick and has to stay in bed. He also has a lot of nightmares.
He has a nightmare and he bedwets/ pees while he sleeps and gently gets woken up by tav who is so understanding and gentle it makes him want to cry because once he got woken up by her and understood he bedwetter, he feared the worse. Instead, he got comfort and understanding, she even helped him wash himself because he was too ill to do it himself and she was murmuring consolations to him while giving him small pecs.
fuck i don't do enough omo fluff
Contains: f!reader, piss
-
You're the first one to notice the nightmare. He tosses and turns beside you, crying out for whatever's happening to stop. As if that wasn't enough, you already feel a warm puddle growing from him towards you. You gently shake him awake.
Astarion's eyes snap open and he clings to you, shaking and trying to calm down despite his panic.
"It's alright," you whisper. "It was just a dream. You were dreaming."
"It happened again," he cried softly. "Every time I've had a fever I've had a nightmare. Every time I've had a nightmare I've..."
He's referring to the accident he's just had, though he seems to have stopped now that he's awake.
"That's alright," you tell him. "I'll clean everything up, same as the other times."
He sniffles.
"Let's get you cleaned up. Come on."
As you help him out of his soaked clothes, he shamefully admits he still has to go, so you leave him to let out the rest in a strong, loud stream while you gather up the laundry. He sighs, then cries.
"Every time," he sobs as you start the bath for him. "Every time I have one of those horrible fever dreams, I can't even control my own body."
"And every time, I'm still here for you," you assure him, taking a washcloth in your hand.
He's not done. "'Oh, just get some rest,' everyone says. 'Drink plenty of fluids,' everyone says. And what does that do for me? Enough snot and piss to fill a damn well!"
He reaches for another rag and blows his nose into it.
"Honestly, I don't know why you're still here. You didn't sign up to babysit me."
"I signed up to take care of you when you needed it," you say. "I've always done that, haven't I?"
"Yes, but that was when we had tadpoles in our heads and Cazador still owned me. Real problems. Cazador's dead, the tadpoles are gone, seven thousand victims are free. And what do I do with that freedom? I get sick and become no less helpless than a child!"
He smacks the water, splashing you a bit.
"As if I haven't soaked you enough," he mumbles.
"I'm not mad, Astarion," you say. "I know you're hurting. That's why I'm here to help."
You hug him like you did before and run your fingers through his curls. His forehead feels a little less warm now.
"You should be. Those are brand new pants you're wearing."
"I can wash them, same as everything else."
He buries his face in your chest as you stand by the tub and hold him. You kiss his forehead and hair.
"Why are you so good to me?" he says with a smile up at you. "Terrible decision on your part, darling."
He giggles. He's feeling better.
"Maybe I'm a little more like you than you think," you laugh.
I remember your post about wanting more stuff about the older mercs having “old man problems” - how would those lads react to having a hip/something else pop during sex?
Whilst I myself am not an old man, I do have hypermobility, so joints deciding to go out of wack tends to of happen at the most inconvenient times.
Can be comedic, can have some hurt/comfort, go whichever way you wish.
- 📻
yep everything i hear about hypermobility sounds rough. i've already got one bad knee myself that does everything from hurt to slip involuntarily, I wouldn't want all my joints doing that. Here's some headcanons for heavy, medic, and spy.
Heavy
He already needs a pillow under his hips when he bottoms. But when he's adjusting his legs, something pops and he slowly has to rest it back down.
"Well. Plenty of ways to have fun with Heavy." He hopes you don't mind a change of plans.
Just don't make him use his hips, whatever you do.
He has a good laugh about it, how he's not the young, spry man he used to be.
He can return to the moment no problem, he just won't be moving like that again for a while.
Medic
He's shameless about taking you on the surgical table, climbing on top to get closer, when you hear something pop and his knee slips out from under him.
He falls on top of you and has to stand up and favor that knee that slipped.
He's more annoyed than anything. Medic makes a comment about ugh, old age, the things it does to you.
"One second, bitte," he says as he hoists the medigun up onto another table and points it at his knee. He makes sure his back gets a dose because he definitely wasn't lifting with his legs.
"Now! Where were we?"
Spy
There was a time in Spy's life where he'd get on his knees for someone, whenever they asked.
Those days are over and he's not kneeling for more than two seconds unless there's a pillow he can use, at least if he's not too eager to remember.
That drop to the ground in front of you looks like it hurts.
"Yes, I'm fine, but you will not speak of this to anyone."
Tall Space Person - Simon the Butcher x GN!Eldritch Being!Reader
People wanted a continuation of little muse so here it is. Sorry this title isn't as creative we're switching to the point of view of a guy who labeled things "buncha rocks" and "weird asstubes"
Simon finds himself alive and awake from what must have been a dream... right?
Contains: alternate universe, interdimensional weirdness, simon's huge crush on giant space reader intensifies, less hurt but more comfort, ptsd
-
Simon woke up.
Wait, Simon woke up?
He couldn't believe it. He was alive, awake, in a hospital bed on some moderately nice looking spacecraft, wearing hospital clothes, with his arm missing again and bandaged at the stump.
"Dammit," he huffed. He should have known it was too good to be true.
Well, the dream was nice while it lasted. That tall space person was good to him. If only they really existed.
He tried to get a feel for things and reached for the clipboard at the foot of the bed. His chart.
"Patient was found unconscious, floating in blood ocean on a log, bearing fresh scarring across the face and body," he read out loud. "Left arm disintegrated into dust upon contact by medical staff and began bleeding as if typically severed."
He looked at his missing arm.
"Despite recent prolonged exposure to onboard X-ray camera and anomalous effects of the blood ocean, patient lacks symptoms of radiation poisoning or mutations."
What?
He didn't have time to think about that before a doctor came in and confirmed what he'd been suspecting. He was free now. He was alive, but that should have been impossible. He'd been suffering from radiation sickness, decompression sickness, nitrogen narcosis, nitrogen intoxication, a concussion, alcohol poisoning, the list went on!
He'd also been filthy. Prisoners weren't allowed the luxury of showers, but that layer of dirt and grime he had before hadn't been present when they cleaned him. It was just blood.
He got reacquainted with Ava, who seemed just as surprised as he was, but she spoke of a similar dream, with a similar person. Even Jack was up and about, a little out of it, but standing and walking? Didn't David say he couldn't stand?
Everywhere he went, Simon was met with smiles and cheers and congratulations. The black box had been recovered shortly before him and they'd already found out so much from the data. That kind of positive attention would take some getting used to. Everyone on that crew was ready to throw him to the blood without a second thought before, and here they were smiling and waving with eyes that said "forget about the time we treated you as subhuman."
But seeing his harness again, cleaned and looking better than when he'd left it, that made his day. He hugged it to his chest and broke down crying the second he had a moment to himself again.
As the "day" stretched on, the mysterious figure who sculpted him back to health seemed more and more like it really had all been a dream after all. Which was a shame. Because he'd do anything to be treated so gently again. The healing caresses that literally put him back together, the way they held him, and the fact that he'd gone so long without being held at all left him yearning for more. God, it felt so good just to be touched, something he felt like he didn't deserve anymore, and the fact that it was a big, beautiful, eldritch being who could crush as well as caress wasn't half bad either. He still felt mortified when he thought about the way his breath hitched and his heart fluttered. And he was sitting there in his birthday suit, which meant they definitely saw that semi. He'd never live that down.
But it was just a dream, right?
When he went to bed, he didn't dream of them. He had a nightmare. He was back in that damn submarine, back in the blood, back to being a prisoner, as blood poured in through the hull and the camera started blasting him with x-rays that made him stagger and throw up violently. He woke up screaming in the empty hospital room, another cold metal box in this dead, desolate galaxy.
Simon hugged his knees to his chest as best he could with only one arm and sobbed, ready for a long, sleepless night. Suddenly, he felt himself being pulled up from the bed and into that beautiful swirling realm of stars and planets, the one from his dream. And then they were there, smiling down at them with the universe in their eyes, carefully reaching down to comfort him again.
"Hello again, Simon," they said. "Oh... I guess your universe rejected the new arm."
"What does that mean?" he asked.
"Not everything made here can survive out there. It just... stops making sense. An arm made of space itself just isn't possible in your universe, it seems. I'm sorry."
He made a mental list of things that could and could not come back: treated wounds, a bath, and healed radiation sickness would stay with him, but clothes and a new arm would turn to dust. Probably the clothes, since he hadn't seen them since.
"Well, hey, you tried," he said. "And you did save our lives. I can't thank you enough for that."
"All in a day's work."
They scooped Simon up into their palm to hold him. He gazed back breathlessly, ignoring the tears that still rolled down his face as he took in their sheer size and power. He still felt so small, but not the way that eel thing made him feel small. This was a safe place. This being, whatever they were, cared for him.
"You had a bad dream," they said plainly. "I couldn't heal your mind either."
"You healed it a lot last time," he said. "I, uh... I think I needed a shoulder... hand... to cry on. Thanks for that too."
They beamed. So radiant, so like the sun.
"What happened after I fell asleep?" Simon asked.
"I sent you back. You needed to see for yourself that you'd be safe," they said. "And you needed time to pass normally in order to get proper rest."
"I guess I did feel better," he admitted. "I'm sorry if I said you were wrong or stupid or anything. I was just scared. And tired."
"It's okay to be scared," they said. "And anyone in your shoes would be tired."
"So why'd you bring me here this time?"
"It looked like you needed some help."
They dabbed his wet cheeks dry with more of that stuff they'd made his new sweater out of. Shame that outfit didn't make it back with him. He leaned into their touch, letting out a sigh. How long had it been since they'd put him back? How long had it been since someone touched him before they met?
"Thank you," he said softly.
"You react quite a bit to being handled," they said. "I try not to hear your thoughts, or feel your feelings. But they're so intense that sometimes I can't ignore them."
"I gotta be honest," he said. "No one's held me or touched me like that in a long time. So whenever you do it, I just..."
They stroked his hair. "I understand."
"Can you just hold me until I have to wake up?" he asked. "Can I just... sleep here? I don't think I can handle sleeping alone right now."
"Would you like me to join you? Perhaps in your universe? I can change my form to fit in that bed with you."
Simon's cheeks warmed. "How did you know I wanted--right. Look, y-you don't have to do anything you don't want to, we can stay here, I just... I feel weird hugging your hand."
They chuckled. "It's alright, Simon."
They removed their hand from underneath him and left him suspended once again, as star clusters and comets coalesced in their place until they appeared small enough to float alongside him, though they were still a bit tall. He'd been about the size of a doll to them before but now they seemed like less eldritch and more fantastical in size, if that made sense to anyone else but him. If he had to guess, he'd say they were about nine and a half feet now? And they lifted him into their arms just as easily as before, bridal carrying him as they drifted in place together. Wow.
"Hi," he said with a shy wave.
"Hi," they replied. "Ready for bed?"
He nodded.
In this smaller, more huggable form, they were able to place him in one of those soft star formations that they'd been using and lay down beside him. He could feel a mattress, pillows, blankets, and of course, their warm arms around him as they helped him get comfortable. He rested his head on their chest, where he heard no heartbeat, but felt plenty of life in them. Maybe they could stroke his hair like they did last--
Gentle fingers ran through his hair and pet his head. Oh, that felt good, even if the mind-reading was going to take some getting used to.
Little Muse - Simon the Butcher x GN!Eldritch Being!Reader
-
Some people are writing reader as an eldritch being that saves simon/gives him a peaceful afterlife/etc and i wanted to do my take on it. This version came to me as I was working on my custom Simon doll. And the fact i keep picturing the reader as some kind of a space giant.
You mend a broken mortal and give him a small respite.
Contains: gn!reader, eldritch being reader, non-sexual nudity, hurt/comfort, simon with a crush on big celestial beings
-
Such a small, fragile little thing he was, but what a beautiful tree he made. He lay there, deep down, tangled in his own roots in an endless, dreamless sleep, almost unrecognizable from the man who first descended into this ocean a few days ago. But intact. Intact enough to be remade.
You carefully pushed aside and cut through the roots that held him in place and gently freed him from his bindings. You could see him more clearly now, the missing arm, the teeth growing from his cheek, the growth on his brow, and all the while he oozed with sickness, open wounds and growths full of pus, some of which had already burst, radiation deep in his bones, and pain that you could feel as your mind connected with what was left of his. As you cradled him in your hands, inspecting the imperfect and puny copy of your body that was left of his, you pressed your finger to his neck, his little wrist, under his nose. He still had a pulse. He still drew breath. And as you watched the twitching underneath his eyelids, he was even starting to dream.
It would take time, but he could be saved.
The universe he once knew, it was here, here where you retreated with him, where you could care for him as long as he needed it, where time stopped and the night twinkled with true, living starlight. You left him suspended in space, floating patiently as you gathered your tools, comet tails and asteroids and nebulae, stardust and sunlight and ice of all types, water and nitrogen and everything that falls to a planet as snow or makes up its icy body. Solar flares and pulsars and the winds of perpetual storms. Everything his universe lost that you had in abundance, could be turned into something he could understand by means that he could not. You cut him free of his rags next, until bare skin covered in new wounds, old scars, and lingering dirt remained.
You cleaned his growths with clouds, soaked up radiation with star clusters like sponges, washed him with moonlight until he started looking like his old self again. You'd made his hair soft again, his expression less pained. But his arm...
There was only one solution: to make him a new one from dust and ice and metals and minerals, but it would never replace the one he gave up. The sensation in it was duller, as if it were made of mere scar tissue, judging by your cursory pokes and prods at it. But it had the shape, the size, and as he shifted around in your hands, he moved it like an arm. He even grabbed your fingertip with it. Your thumb caressed his brow. It stroked his hair ever so gently. Just a few more touches and then he'd be good as new.
He began to stir. He still seemed too tired and world-weary to react beyond a glance of acknowledgment, but you still spoke to him.
"Do not be afraid, Simon. You are safe. You are being healed."
"Huh?"
He opened his eyes and began to panic, trying to wriggle from your grasp, but you simply held him and shushed him.
"You shouldn't move around so much with such severe injuries," you said. "I'm almost done. When you are remade, you can return. And you will have your freedom."
"That's impossible," he whispered. "I'm dead. Ava's dead, Jack's almost dead, we're all dead..."
"Not for long," you assured him. "You're here. You're all here still. Waiting in the deepest sleep, in your universe."
"Why? Why are you doing this?"
"Because you deserve your freedom. I wish to give it to you."
His face softened. "Who are you? And what are you?"
"So many things, Simon. But don't worry about that right now. Just know that you're safe. As long as you are within my grasp, nothing can hurt you here."
You brushed his cheek with your fingertip and he pressed it to his tender, defanged face. "Can you just... keep holding me? I... I can't remember the last time someone ever..."
He sobbed, gripping your finger and wetting it with tiny, starry teardrops.
"You'll enjoy this, Simon," you said.
From stardust you repaired his face, his eyes, his skin and bones and blood vessels. You sculpted him back to his former state, hands caressing his body like a lover's touch. Stars became skin and sinew, flesh and fat, limbs and lips and ligaments. Humans would call this art. You called it healing.
Oh, he was beautiful. With quite a strong frame and that lovely long hair, fine layers of fuzz here and there across his body, nothing shaven or trimmed in any way. As you understood, the humans where he was from didn't do that anymore. How blessed you were to see these creatures in their natural beauty, though it was clear that bathing was a privilege the convicted would lose, and you knew it made humans uncomfortable to not be clean.
You also knew how humans could be about being naked. Some didn't mind so much, others might cover themselves in embarrassment, but this one, who knew? He was still transfixed on you, your familiar visage looking at him with such tenderness, but your sheer size overwhelming. Awe, apprehension, hope, a twinge of... was that arousal? You promised yourself to stay out of his mind as best you could, but something about the way he thought, Fuck, you're huge suggested attraction. Some humans loved your sheer size, sheer power; he wasn't the first, nor would he be the last. But you should probably cover him up.
You crafted him clothes of the finest starlight, not unlike his previous ensemble, weaving and sewing and knitting together constellations at your fingertips until it became a luxurious sweater and pants, soft and comfortable, cut to sit right on any body. Your favorite part. You even made him a new harness, complete with the knife holster. It seemed important.
"Is it satisfactory?" you asked.
"It can't replace the real thing," he said sadly. "But it's nice to feel close to mom again."
He clutched the knife holster with a smile.
"Thank you."
You smiled back politely.
"What happens now?" he asked.
"You wake up back in your universe."
"What? Back in my-- back in my... back in my universe? No... I can't."
He began to cry. "I can't... I'll just die with the rest of it. They're gonna throw me back in a cell, or-or kill me or something! They can't possibly let me go free. Not after everything, not after I killed Jack, not after filament station!"
Simon couldn't stop crying. He sat suspended before you and cried and cried.
"There's nothing left," he sobbed. "There's nothing left except dying ships and dead stars. I'd rather stay dead."
"You think you've been dead?"
He only cried harder. You cradled him in your hands again, shushing him and trying your best to dry his delicate little eyes with your fingertip. Instead he hugged your hand and sobbed into your palm. You stroked his hair some more.
"I'm sorry," you said softly.
"No, no..." he sniffled, wiping his nose on his sleeve. "I just... I wanna go home. But it's gone. And I don't wanna go back to what's left. I have nothing. I am nothing."
He was inconsolable. Searching his mind, all you could find was anger, pain, desperation, and a deep tiredness that went all the way to the bone. And you couldn't cleanse him of that like you could the radiation. All you could do was hold him and let him cry himself to sleep.
You made him a comfortable bed of leftover starlight and placed him in it. Perhaps he'd feel better if he got more rest.
RE (Luis Serra) x female reader romantic headcannons? (My bad this is my first time requesting 😅)
don't sweat it it's a good request!
Being Luis Serra's Girlfriend
Yes he is a suave romantic. Yes he is a silly doofus. But he's also got a guilty conscience and childhood trauma.
He'll give you the moon and stars but he's been stuck in the role of whatever he can do for others (Umbrella, the cult that took over his hometown, Ada and whoever else he was in contact with about the amber, the actual good guys of re4, etc) for so long that he can't always be the brave loyal knight.
don't think about the fact that his dying words were a joke about a loss to the ladies of the world and a question if he did some good in the world for once don't think about his existence being mostly defined by service and servitude don't think about his frustration at not even being able to use his hands anymore because if he can't even do that then what's even the point
Loves late evenings on the porch or under the stars with you. Just sitting in silence and leaning on each other for hours until it's time to head inside and go to bed.
If you're afraid of bugs he will bravely declare that He's Got This, Fear Not before seeing how big the spider is and stamping it under his shoe 11 times while shrieking in terror
He's terrified of bugs but someone's gotta do it.
Calls you a variety of pet names in both English and Spanish. His favorite is princess/princesa.
Very tactile. Liked hand holding and tracing shapes on your back. If you stroked his knuckles or rubbed his back in return however he would melt.
Reposting these headcanons because the asker reached out saying they meant to hit anon but didn't.
Hii
Can I ask for tf2 mercs x reader eith a scent kink? I want those old men sweaty. Prefferably male reader though, but GN is fine. Just pls add sniper, just cuz he stinks the most LOL
-🦋
absolutely! as an added bonus these all end with what each merc smells like!
Scout
He playfully ribs you about it here and there, when you rest your head on top of his and take a whiff of his hair,
Or when he's just gotten out of the shower and he's used some shampoo or something with some strong top notes,
Or when he's about to shower and you want to join him after a long day of running intelligence back to base.
Loves the attention, loves the effect he has on you, just soaks it up and tantalizes you until you can get some alone time together
Smells normal most of the time, smells like someone who's been running a lot when he's been running a lot.
Soldier
Didn't know such a thing existed, and he doesn't know how to make smells patriotic, but he loves it when you find yourself smelling his skin while you're cuddling.
You're always burying your nose in his bare neck and making a point of leaving him smelling like you when you're done with him.
He says something about how this could confuse the enemy, and it's a brilliant battle tactic, and wait a minute he's gotta make sure you smell like him too
Smells like aftershave and FREEDOM
Pyro
They don't always take off the suit, but if you close your eyes and lay down with them, you'll be able to smell their skin where the suit is unzipped.
For how much their mask looks like a snoot they're amused when you're the one sticking your nose everywhere.
Get enough into it and they'll start attaching the strapon to the outside of their suit and picking out sex toys to use on you.
Pyro's suit smells like ash and smoke. Pyro themself smells like sweat and lots of antiperspirant (bless their soul it's not working. i can relate.)
Demoman
Absolute favorite thing you do is spoon him with your nose pressed into his shoulder and take in his scent until you're feeling the urge to fuck him about it
Like scout he also takes pride in the effect he has on you. He loves it when something as simple as how he smells has you wrapped around his finger.
Also takes the opportunity to make you smell like him, but it's definitely more deliberate than soldier.
You can't get enough of him and he loves it.
He's one of the few mercs who springs for some high-end fragrances, so more often than not he smells like a luxurious cologne.
Heavy
He's a little confused about the whole thing at first, needs an explanation from you
Loves to lord it over you like some of the others, but only in the complete privacy of the bedroom. No quickies, no locker room shenanigans, no nothing, unless the time and place are right. Keep your nose to yourself on battlefield, leetle man.
When the day's over, however, he'll let you be as indulgent as you want. You like armpits he's got armpits. You like blood of enemies he's got blood of enemies.
Smells like pine.
Engineer
Now here's something he can get behind
It's not normally his cup of tea, but it will be if you keep loving on him like you do, coming up behind him while he's working and kissing and sniffing his neck under his collar, taking him aside after he's been fixing something out in the sun all day and offer to "just" walk him to the showers
Treat him good, he'll do the same for you in return. And whatever specific scents drove you wild, he will remember for next time
And tempt you again and again and again
Smells like a hardware store and pecans
Medic
Medic is the biggest tease out of all of them. It doesn't have to be a scent kink. Any kink you have that he finds out about, he'll use that to drive you insane.
In fact it's not long before he's found a way to make himself give off--pheromones, yep, it's pheromones and he can make you go into heat over him now
And that's what he wants! He wants you to jump his bones when his clinic is empty, he wants you to push him down on the exam table and have your way with him. He loves seeing you feral, or desperate, depending on how dominant or submissive you are in the moment.
This tangentially relates to his breeding kink, medic has a breeding kink and i will die on that hill
Smells like disinfectant. At least you know he's clean and hygienic like a medical professional should be. Ignore the dove in heavy's open chest cavity. Ignore the blood he sopped up with his own underwear. Ignore his lack of gloves and his hands covered in blood up to his elbows.
Sniper
The polar opposite of medic in terms of cleanliness and hygiene. He doesn't shower every day because his camper doesn't have one and going to the base just to shower is just such a hassle that he doesn't want to do it every single day.
He's gone weeks without showering in the outback before so a few days isn't much to him.
He's very... organic. And then there's the jarate. There's no way he shakes his dick until it's perfectly clean of piss every single time. He has definitely missed some drops. There's a stale spot on his underwear.
But if you can't get enough of his scent, he thinks, how bad can he be?
Smells like sweat, dirt, piss, and an earthy deodorant that is really punching above its weight class to make up for the lack of showering
Spy
You are now his constant reminder to wash his mask regularly.
Of course, he can't help but have smoke and blood and sweat cling to him when he's doing his job.
Does he think you're a little nasty? Yeah, but who isn't on this team? See above points.
Out of all the mercs his scent brings the most comfort. You like to lounge with him to get a whiff of him and initiate. Preferably on a weekend or at the end of the day when he's showered and changed into a nice bathrobe made of silk or satin. Something elegant.
Smells like expensive cologne, cigarettes, and maybe a bit of red wine.
Hello! We've asked for TF2 stuff before.. but.. this time.. maybe we have an interesting scenario?
F/FtM reader, m! Engineer; he's impressed with you being so smart and showing off with the team, so he decides to reward you with some EXCELLENT soft dom love?? Atmosphere tooooo. Hot and heavyyyyy... Mmm yes. Ahem sorry LOL just want the praise really bad :3
Many thanks in advance!!! <3 /plat
me, a 2010s-present gaia user: /plat... platinum? i'll never get tired of soft dom engie though, i think meet the engineer really set the tone (haha) for how he talks in the bedroom
Contains: reader has a pussy, gunslinger vibe setting, penetration, multiple orgasms, soft dom engie, a bit of overstimulation, a bit of aftercare
-
Dell closed the blinds and made his way over to the bed, climbing on top of you and nudging your legs open with his knee. You wrapped your arms around him. He kissed you.
"You were brave as hell out there today," he purred. "Brave and smart. I still can't believe your strategy worked so well."
He kissed your neck and ran a hand up your shirt. You moaned his name.
"You took a risk and it paid off," he continued. "A high risk deserves a high reward, don't it?"
He sucked on your skin, moaning and grinding on your thigh.
"And I plan to be very generous tonight."
He dove headfirst into the throes of passion and took you with him. Every kiss, caress, undoing of buttons, removing of garments, he did slow and sensual, whispering to you with a voice like velvet. His tenderness carried promise that you would love every ounce of pleasure you were about to feel, building even more anticipation by pressing his knee against your crotch, so you could grind on him too. And he promised to be generous, so he cut the teasing short, even though he always loved to see you aching with need. He could have drawn it all out: getting you completely naked, fingering you to make sure your body was ready, licking his fingers clean, rubbing the tip up and down your entrance until you begged, but he kept it just short enough. You gasped as he propped your legs up on his shoulders, pushed in, and buried himself inside you all the way to the hilt. He thrust at a nice, steady pace, still enough to make you brace yourself with the headboard, gripping the metal bars and gazing up at him, drunk on pleasure.
"Oh, and don't worry, I didn't forget," he purred, reaching down with the gloved gunslinger and pressing his thumb right against your glans. A low vibration began to pulse.
"How's that feel?"
"Good..." you moaned. "It's so good..."
You clenched around his length and thrust up against his hand. Dell smiled warmly and kept going, moaning about how good you'd been for him, so he'd give you two ways to cum at the same time. Which one would happen first? How intense would it be?
It was the vibrations that got you there first. You bucked your hips wildly and whined shamelessly as you came, the sensation quickly shifting from pleasure to overstimulation. You had to beg him to turn it off, it was too much.
But you weren't done yet. He still had one more climax to give you. Dell gently moved your legs as far back as they could go, allowing him to thrust deeper, making you gasp and moan as he brought you closer and closer to the edge. This time, you came harder, and you hugged him tight as you cried out in bliss.
As you came down from it, you felt so overwhelmed, so frazzled. When Dell pulled out you immediately started leaking a huge mess onto the sheets and you suddenly felt self-conscious. He wrapped you up in a nice, tight hug, shushing you as you collected yourself.
"I got you. You did good. Real good," he whispered. "You're alright. You're just a little tense after all that. That's normal, remember?"
You nodded.
"Thank you," you whispered. "That was a hell of a reward. You were... you were incredible."
bottom heavy... that is all I ask for... bottom heavy with gn reader 👁
Thank you
bottom heavy
Contains: bottom heavy, top reader, reader could have a dick or a strap it's vague on purpose, attempts at quiet sex
-
You had to hike your leg up on Misha's hip to be able to take him like this, laying on his side, only able to look at you over his shoulder. Not that he minded, given how hard he moaned into that pillow he was clutching.
"Careful, Misha," you purred. "Don't wanna wake the team."
He nodded as you began to thrust, feeling up his huge bicep and over to his chest, where you tweaked his nipple a bit.
"Mmm... nngh..." he moaned.
"What was that?"
"H... harder..."
You slammed into him now, your tip repeatedly ramming against his prostate. Now he buried his entire face in his pillow, moaning and panting and jerking his hips, more so to hump the mattress than fuck himself on you.
"Hard enough, baby?" you asked.
"Da..."
Misha stopped holding that pillow and started reaching for his dick. His face was half-uncovered now, and you could hear some of those sweet sounds he was making.
"Close?" you asked.
"Close..."
He bit into the pillow as he came into a closed fist, shuddering underneath you hard enough to shake the bed, even more so than the slight creaks from just a second ago.
"Don't go... Need more..." he panted, looking back at you through half-lidded eyes above his flushed cheeks.
Sweet Butcher - Simon the Butcher x GN!Reader (NSFW)
spent weeks off and on writing simon smut to get through the horrors (college), had to put it aside and focus on everything else, and came back pleasantly surprised to an almost complete fanfic with just about everything I want in a simon smut fic. Enjoy.
You bring out a sweeter side of the infamous butcher.
Contains: smut (no minors please and thank you), gn!reader, sub top simon, touch starvation, virgin simon, praise kink, shameless pwp
-
Such a needy thing, he was. Simon didn't care how you were kissing him, how you held his head in your hands as he kneeled before you, practically crawling up your body as you stood there and gave him kiss after kiss. He just wanted more. You kissed him deeper, unglamorously shoving your tongue down his throat as far as you could go to get the closeness he craved and combing and tousling his long hair with your fingers. His arms locked you into place, a tight grip as he hung off of you and touched you. It didn't matter where. He just needed to touch you.
"More," he whispered against your lips.
You pushed him backwards onto the bed and crawled over him, pushing his sweater up to reveal his toned chest, framed by another harness. He looked cute in it.
"Didn't think the Eden folks were the type," you said. Or does the Butcher belong to someone else? Someone who doesn't like to share?"
"Not... at the moment, no," he said shyly. "I wouldn't be here if I was."
"You alright? You're so tense."
"It's been a long day," he said. "I'm a little out of it."
"Well, I need you to be in it if you wanna keep going."
You stroked his hair. "Talk to me, Si. I know there's something you're not telling me."
He sucked in a breath. "I've never done this before."
"Oh, is that all?" you asked.
He nodded, averting your eyes. "Yeah. Eden never let us. I just don't wanna let you down."
"You could never let me down," you whispered, pressing your forehead to his and nuzzling noses with him. "There's nothing you need to do."
"There's stuff I wanna do," he said. He held onto your arm, clearly not wanting the touch to stop.
He kissed your neck and pulled you on top of him. "I wanna be close."
He ran a hand up the back of your shirt. "I wanna feel more of this."
He rocked his hips a bit, grinding against your thigh with a needy groan. "I wanna feel good. I wanna feel good with you. I wanna make you feel good."
He pressed his knee against your clothed crotch enough to make you moan. Oh, that was so not gonna get you there, but it already left you wanting, wanting almost as badly as him.
"Please," he said softly.
You couldn't help it. You'd always been a sucker for the soft ones. So wanting, so willing, so desperate. So you didn't hesitate. You undressed him more and more, covering his body in kisses and feeding into his desperation, his stress melting away as his muscles relaxed under your touch. No tension. No hesitation. The more you kissed and caressed him, the more he moaned and mewled for you. And you definitely loved what you got to uncover. You started him off easy, sucking his cockhead and stroking his shaft, watching him squirm for you. He tried so hard to hold out, but he soon became frantic that he was so close and you had to give him a breather.
"Fuck, it's so good..." he whined. "Oh, fuck, I almost came..."
"Maybe you need a little more control over that," you said, playfully rolling onto your back. You lifted up your shirt and tugged your pants down just enough to hint at what you had going on underneath your clothes. An offer.
Simon nodded and straddled your hips, feeling you up with a gentle, nervous touch.
"Go on," you said softly.
He pushed your shirt all the way up and pulled it up over your head.
"Like that?"
You laughed. "You got it."
"I'm just not used to being so... gentle..."
"Really? It comes so naturally to you. And we've been holding each other all night."
Gentleness really did come naturally to Simon, especially as he tugged your pants off and kissed your inner thighs, legs held firmly in his hands. His fingers gently worked your hole open, though his hand got tired from pumping them in and out of you. Easing himself into you felt even better. You both moaned. And he held you tight as he thrust into you, not so fast that it was unpleasant, but with that same desperation he did everything else with. The need. The urge. He whimpered and whined into the crook of your neck as you ran your hands all over him.
"That's it, Simon, fuck, that's good..." you moaned.
He only moaned your name in response. His hand found your hand and he intertwined his fingers and yours. He even gave it a little squeeze.
"Sweet boy," you whispered. "So sweet for me... And so good..."
He moaned.
"You feel good?" you asked.
"Mhm..."
He was gonna send you over the edge any second now, especially if he kept making those beautiful sounds. Far from innocent or pure like one would expect from a beginner, he held onto you whichever way was the most intimate, the most connected, fighting to not spill himself into you too soon and swearing like a sailor. He craved the contact so much and those hands on your body clenched and caressed.
"Fuck, that's so... so good... Do you... feel good too?" he panted.
"Oh, yeah," you replied. "I'm so close, Si, don't stop..."
"Fuck, I can't... I'm gonna..."
He gripped your hips and thrust as deep as he could, screaming as he came, almost afraid of how much control he was losing, but you were losing control just the same. And you were glad to be doing it with him.
He flopped on top of you, holding you like he was before, but now he laid on your chest, no doubt able to hear your pounding, racing heart. You stroked his hair and he stroked your skin, right by where his head lay.
Me coming home after a long day at the long day factory (my job) sitting down on my bed: ah yes... time to read all the dove sanctuary sniper fics again!! Im so tired looking elsewhere for snipes fics, u write him exactly how my brain sees.. u have been touched by fanfic jesus perhaps?
Anyways.. plz may i request literally anything with snipes being like.. a gentle loving partner? Just like fluffy or slight suggestive stuff
Also... i was flicking through the comics again... why is he hairless in the scenes where hes naked... did medic shave him?😢 ik hes prolly not got mad body hair cuz of tf2 australian/new zealand lore but... come on.. bros gotta have somth... plz... hes not called bushman for nothin
i thought this was like the most common interpretation of him lol but I'm so flattered that you go through all my sniper fics!
hmm i like to think he has very little body hair overall but then a happy trail and a dense bush. it's like a thicket down there. maybe medic shaved him for surgical purposes but idk if you would need to do that for what he was doing. like I know they'll shave your head for brain surgery but that's it.
I got tired of doing disconnected fluff fics and wanted to write him doing something that mattered in a relationship, at least it matters to me. if I was dating someone I'd need to know they still loved me if I was too depressed to clean my apartment. they don't have to do this much but you know.
Contains: mental illness, self-loathing, sniper rescues you from the chores you couldn't do before, hurt/comfort
-
You really didn't want to make Mick do this, but he stood firm, marching you straight to bed and sitting you down.
"Get some rest. Maybe take a shower if you're feelin' it, but I'll be takin' care o' the chores. I'll even make you lunch."
"Mick, I said you don't have to do this," you pleaded, if only to save face. God, you hated that you were trying to save face at all. If you just did your chores, you wouldn't be in this mess.
"It won't take long. Besides, you look exhausted. Go back to bed."
You sniffled. Mick hugged you.
"Aww, I know, lovey. But I promised I'd be there when the goin' gets tough. And right now, you're doin' worse than me after a day in my hometown for the holidays," he said.
"But I shouldn't have to make you do all this!"
"You're not makin' me do anything! Come on, just lay down with me a second."
You flopped down on the bed and Mick climbed in to hold you. You cried silently into your pillow, not his chest. He still rubbed your back.
"It's just a few chores, and I've got the steam to do 'em."
"What if I'm faking it? What if I'm faking it so you'll do everything for me?"
"I think you'd know if you were fakin' it."
"Stay with me. Stay with me so I know I'm not faking it."
"Sure. I could use a little power nap myself."
Mick stayed as you drifted off to sleep, miserable and ashamed but soothed by his presence. You could forget the chores, forget your incompetence, even if only briefly.
And yet, when you woke up, he was gone. He'd tucked you in, the blankets covering you completely, but Mick himself was nowhere to be found.
You made your way out of your room and into the main area. To your surprise, it was completely spotless! The dishes were clean and put away, the trash had been collected from every horizontal surface in the room, and some of the shirts you'd been wearing for weeks had been washed and hung up on some hangers.
Mick walked in with a big bag of takeout from your favorite place in town.
"Hey there, darlin'. Had a good nap?"
"You did all this?"
"I said I was gonna, right? Had to distract ya so you didn't fight me all day."
You laughed. It was a bit silly that you tried so hard to get him to stop helping you.
"I'm sorry, Mickey," you said. "I just didn't want to be a burden."
"That's what they call a labor of love," Mick said. "I'm just glad I could help."
He gave you a hug and a kiss.
"Still gonna pitch a fit, or do you wanna eat?"
"Eat," you laughed. "I'm starving."
Dove Sanctuary @dovesanctuarydonotkill - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag