big fan of penis music

22 || He/They/It/Pup || I AM CHEWING ON YJ98 LIKE A SQUEAKY TOYYY

[plumslices]

I ❤️ bitching and moaning

[thekidsfromyestergay]

Is there something you'd like to share with the class

[3000s]

they hate each other.

[barin-mclegg]

hey bestie you forgot the poll

[3000s]

oh sorry

would you kill and eat these animals?

yes

no

Voting ended onOct 3, 2024

[barin-mclegg]

I was talking to prev, asshole. The fucking critter-creature-beast poll blog? That person? Don't be a fucking dickhead.

[3000s]

sorry for being silly on my post it wont happen again

[3000s]

would you kill and eat @barin-mclegg?

yes

no

Voting ended onOct 9, 2024

[amberautumnfaebrooke]

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

[sociallyawkwardrevolution]

times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks

[dragongirlsweetie]

i just got shot with a puppy rifle but it didnt hurt me because im not a puppy

[aceynk]

me i just got shot by an elephant gun but im not even an elephant so im ok

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

i just got shot with a 9mm handgun but i'm ok because i am taller than 9mm

[kunosoura]

hi! I'm a 9mm tall puppyphant and i'm excited to be here!

[mysharona1987]

[strawberrymilkshakeearrings]

[kaity--did]

Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk

“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”

[kaity--did]

Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?

Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby

Husband: RIVETING!

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️

Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!

[kaity--did]

Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk

All of tumblr collectively at my husband:

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream

Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!

Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued

Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.

[kaity--did]

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND

yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays

Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.

????

[kaity--did]

Husband: Holds Penny Rose up to her reflection in the microwave

Husband: you see Penny Rose! This was the M. Night Shyamalan twist! You were mirror baby all along!

[kaity--did]

FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering

[justplainsalty]

I have follow up questions:

1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?

1a) If you participated in baby talk with Penny, did she ever do any code switching with you while she was learning to talk (I mean, babyish talk back to you but fully formed adult like you share with us to Lawyer Dad)?

[kaity--did]

I didn't baby talk with her very much either! I think I squealed at her more than my husband did.

Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂

So I'll say "okay penny it's time for bed" and I'll just hear "okay my darling love!" 😂

[kaity--did]

Everyone is always so so kind on this post but I do want to warn you all that this did in fact lead to an insanely verbal child, and if you choose that life you have to commit to that life.

Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she

1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night

2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day

3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together

I pay for limitless data and have 709 Google tabs open on my phone at all times

[mentalhealthnut]

1) My dad was also like this with me. Best example - reading a manual for a washing machine to me as an infant. Didn't turn into a Deals Warlock, but I did become a writer, so make of that what you will.

2) If you are the type of person who counts how many questions your child asks you in a day, and didn't give up after like ten of 'em, *and* potentially did so more than once (you said she "averages" at 892, meaning you might have gotten your data from at least two days)... then I think she is Like That because of both sides of her family, actually

[kaity--did]

[thecharcoalsalamander]

Penny Rose is going to be just fine. She may rule the world one day, honestly. Either as a Deals Warlock or a very successful defense lawyer, which is basically the same thing as a Deals Warlock.

[sivavakkiyar]

1 year ago today (July 19th)

[sivavakkiyar]

2 years ago today (July 19th)

[molabuddy]

i accidentally clicked onto and off of the "explore" page very quickly, and in the second or so that the explore page was onscreen i saw a beautiful photoshopped image that may infact be nothing like how i saw it due to the speed at which it appeared and disappeared.... but still. what i saw was beautiful

it looked like this

[saltedsour]

dw i got u i am obsessed.with this image

[molabuddy]

OGH MY GOD. YES THANK YOU THATS HIM

[wanderinsect]

🫩 no i don't think those characters are siblings i think they're friends. I don't think that's their mom I actually think she's their friend. I don't think they're related actually I think they're friends with each other.

[ratective]

their friendship is so important to me like theyre two dads on a saturday afternoon drinking beer and playing cards or whatever

[infectiouspiss]

a second bumblebee has hit the flowers

[infectiouspiss]

"post without tags?" OH IM FUCKING SORRY #BEES #9/11

[draconym]

It's nuts how common it is to not allow children to be angry, even (especially) in households where adults are angry all the time. As a child I knew my own anger was unacceptable--not just expressing it outwardly but feeling it at all. So now as an adult my immediate reaction to my own anger is often to feel guilt instead of like. Noticing when someone is being rude or unfair or my boundaries are being violated or whatever. fucked up.

[demilypyro]

having free control over our endrocrine systems and the ability to change our genitals is currently inextricably tied to trans rights, and for good reason, but frankly i don't think it even needs to be. it should just be a matter of bodily autonomy, and that should be universal. if a cis dude wants tits and a pussy i think that would be fine. if cis women want a dick or nothing at all that should be allowed i think. people shouldn't need to be transgender to be allowed to change their bodies. free the nipple, enlarge the nipple, remove the nipple. whatever the fuck you want. i dont know if there's a term for this belief but i hold it very strongly. everybody biohack yourselves NOW

[friedsaturn]

perhaps I haven't posted this here yet?

[sanguine-squid]

where is any higher quality version of this image

[satellites-halo]

can't find anything other than this which has maybe 5 extra pixels

[sergal]

[solitairie]

now dance fucker dance man he never had a chance