Tw: heavy thoughts ahead, eating disorder, disordered thoughts, drugs, death, depression
lost to smoke and empty streets,
to a world that doesn’t care,
a place where choices break like glass.
I wanted to hold her close,
but the threads slipped from my hands
at a shadow that once called me friend.
but the threads are frayed,
and I cannot hold her back.
a pulse I cannot control,
a fire that burns behind my ribs.
A glance, a touch, a word—
jealous of the air he breathes,
hating every curve, every inch
that makes me unworthy of this longing,
with every glance, every word,
that makes me burn inside,
that makes me envy the air he breathes,
I punish myself for not being enough.
hunger that is both enemy and drug,
pain that whispers loyalty,
and I don’t know if I can silence her.
a shadow clinging to my mind,
reminding me of hunger, of old rituals,
of the ways I have tried to bleed pain
into something I can hold.
I am everywhere and nowhere,
watching through a cracked glass.
Each smile I cannot reach,
each word I cannot speak.
that has lived inside me for years.
Mother, health, love, loss,
a tangle of thought that crushes my chest.
The past, a river of almosts,
near-deaths, missed chances, broken dreams.
Every day I fight to breathe,
to remember who I am beneath the pain,
Every day, a thousand small deaths,
every night, a thousand whispers,
and still I move forward,
remind me of what I cannot have,
Memories, fears, love, loss,
all colliding, all shouting,
Pain, both silent and loud,
threads through my bones,
while my mind twists and pulls,
for the chaos it leaves behind.
It’s just too much for me.
pixelskylines
blakekathryn
germansingergirl
discoholicmusic
ellievsbear
