i think the word “settling” is often given a bad wrap in relationships.
to settle with someone - i don’t think it has to mean something boring, or mundane. to love someone so profusely you are ready to lay down and spend the rest of your life with them, it’s saying: “i don’t care who or what else is out there, i am choosing you. there is enough love, wonder, and warmth here, i do not need to seek anything else.”
you fell in love with them, and like falling, it was natural, passive, spontaneous, it happened to you. you stood there, you were engulfed in love.
but we don’t just want to fall in love with someone, we don’t just want the falling. we want the love even after the euphoria fades. we want the natural cycle, the mundane, the domesticated routine, the living beside each other. because we didn’t just love our partner then, we love them now, and tomorrow. it’s not about finding the right person—we learn to love the person we have found.
and why are we as a society so obsessed with finding the “right” person? we live in a culture that is obsessed with perfect compatibility and optimisation and it often leads to disappointment and unfair comparison.
instead of looking for the perfect partner, the perfectly right partner, what if we could shift our focus to being with someone who isn’t overly wrong for us?
someone who is kind, patient, respectful, compassionate and who is willing to work through challenges with you.
perfect compatibility isn’t a preset, it’s something you build through trust. there is no perfect person for you, because you yourself are not perfect. there is no immediate compatibility, and even if there was, it doesn’t stay that way forever.
you find something better than perfect, you can find something real.
sustaining love through time, effort, energy, willingness, and the constant demand of wisdom and patience. it is as beautiful as the falling in love. it is what keeps the love long through the years.
falling in love with our person is a happenstance, but loving them is a decision. and there is so much beauty in that.
theartofmadeline
vaporwave
kianamaiart
romaincrisis
