✟✟ @dr3am3rs - Tumblr Blog

When your “best friend” tells you they tried it and it made them feel better, Do not pick up the blade. When you are upset because the boy you think you’re in love with is in ‘love’ with your close friend Do not pick up the blade. When you think it could help, and you want to see how it feels, Do not pick up the blade. When you find yourself longing for the boy who said he will never love you. Do not pick up the blade. When you run your hand over old scars, and it feels like they are screaming for new friends Do not pick up the blade. When you are snapping elastic bands, melting ice with your palm, trying to do anything but that, Do not pick up the blade. When tonight is the third night in a row that you’re listening to horrible voices in your head that aren’t your own, Do not pick up the blade. When you count your scars and there aren’t enough, there aren’t enough, there aren’t enough, Do not pick up the blade. When you need more, longer, deeper, deeper, deeper, Do not pick up the blade. When you realize that this small, cold piece of steel now controls your life, you will have wished that you never picked up that blade

ojibwa

#depression #anxiety #broken #hurt #love #depression quotes #tumblr #poem #anxiety attack #anxiety quotes #lost

pdmori

#depression #anxiety #hurt #broken #love #depression quotes #tumblr #poem #anxiety attack #anxiety quotes

dr3am3rs

😕❤️

dying-dog

leafsea

impossibility // 1.27.2017

iwillllbethin

Eating disorders are not at all what they are portrayed in the media. Eating disorders are 4 fingers down your throat because 2 or 3 no longer works. It is vomiting out of your bedroom window as you family sit watching TV together only metres away. It is lots of saliva and vomit coming out of your nose. It is having gone toilet 4 times within 17 minutes because of the 13 laxatives you took the night before because the daily recommended intake of 1-3 no longer works. It is saying no to eating an apple because it has 97 calories and then eating chocolate, or cake, or biscuits, or bread or all of the above. It is being uncomfortably full. I have felt so full that I was worried my stomach would rupture at least 4 times this week. It is Friday. It is sitting there after consuming 3190 calories within 20 minutes and not being able to purge it because your body has been exhausted from the 17 other times you’ve purged over the past 3 days. It is going to your 9-5 job exhausted and irritated because all you can think about is food and having everyone at work think your lazy and negative BECAUSE YOU CANT TELL THEM that the ½ banana you had that morning has you wishing for death. You can’t tell them that you are suffering. You can’t call in sick either because you don’t look sick. In fact, you may look perfectly healthy. It is being told that the eating disorder clinicians can’t help you because you are not sick enough. It is numbers. It is a fuck ton of numbers. It is hoodies and jeans in summer. It is an unbelievable amount of self hatred. It is being so caught up so much in your own head you could be looking at someone as they talk to and not hear A FUCKING thing because you are fighting relentlessly back and forth with yourself. It is self harm as punishment for eating. It is not letting yourself sleep as punishment. It is being alone. So damn alone. IT IS LITERALLY CONTEMPLATING YOUR LIFE because recovery is not an option to you but to keep on living at work in your own head 24/7 is fucking hell. It is contemplating your life over the meal that you ate half of just to make your mum stop crying. IT IS contemplating your life simply because you are done.

I feel absolutely done..