Dr3amLuna

For #weight loss cw:214.2/short-term gw1: 200/ short-term gw2: 188/ short-term gw3: 175/ short-term gw4: 165/long term goal:130///I also love aggrotech too and some music in between :) + goth clothes🖤♥️🖤♥️🌘

[dr3amluna]

Having a hard time !!! Battling my head with dark thoughts!! Can't scream it out loud so I let it out in writing. It's so hard I can't take it sometimes. I can't eat, sleep, anxious, panic attack.

[dr3amluna]

Looking back to an old me makes me smile. Hey you, I know you would love who you become;happy. (Weight loss still going, at a steady pace. I have a month and I am not giving up.)

[dr3amluna]

About to workout 😌

[dr3amluna]

Back at it had my lovely child and he has made everything so much better by❤️Life has been so much better and I already lost 8 lbs. I have been in a more positive vibe and my relationship has been flourishing also 💞.

Start weight 212

Current weight 204

1st goal weight 188

Currently lost: 8lbs

[dr3amluna]

[dr3amluna]

New event

I am pregnant, it's not easy. My family and I were so happy but this pregnancy might turn into a miscarriage. It's all bed rest I even lost4 lbs without wanting to and I have so much nausea. My beloved was the most caring husband I. The world catering to me and filling me with kisses. I felt like a queen but lately he's been short and even if I'm not suppose to be up much I've made dinner because he has so much anxiety, PTSD and he does get explosively mad. So I try but when I'm tiered I lash back. I'm trying to be a good wife but sometimes I think he hates me when I'm pregnant.

[dr3amluna]

Yay

Went for my run. It's my first day again. I've been doing this for like the 100th time. I believe I can do this. I'm in a better state of mind this time around, I even ran faster today like I use to back then. I pushed though some mental barriers and I'm loving it. I'm living one day at a time 🥰. My life is looking brighter 🖤♥️🖤♥️🖤🌘

Current weight:215

And you know what I don't feel bad either, 😄 I'm just enjoying life and yes working on my weightloss but numbers don't matter right now as long as I'm feeling good about myself. My next weight in I want to lose 8 pounds in 2 weeks.

[nutrifitblr]

[dr3amluna]

Need to remember this. I'm almost at that point even if I'm not fit yet, I'll love myself no matter what.

[oliviafitmomof3]

[dr3amluna]

I need to keep this in mind Soo much!!!

[dr3amluna]

This is the song I'm into today 😄♥️🖤♥️🖤♥️🖤♥️🖤🌘

[dr3amluna]

Stating the 21 days commitment again. I need to stop trying and keep going. I'm back tO my starting weight again. I'm not even mad I'm just like ok so what do you want woman! Lol I'm tiered but I can't give up. I have too much clothes I want to wear again. I want tO feel like myself again.

[dr3amluna]

Just thoughts

You know it's been a while since I got ready and or felt good about myself. I need to get ready more, be less tiered, try to dress better. I don't know due my hair, wax my eyebrows, put makeup on, and actually wear the clothes I feel good in. It feels like a lifetime ago when I got sexy for my beloved. Thinking of getting pretty for him again.

[dr3amluna]

Keep going

I'm still going ☺️ I won't give up. New things might come my way.

[dr3amluna]

This is my portrait and this is how I feel inside. So much darkness my darker side is coming out more frequently. I don't know how to control it. My other side isn't pretty is dark, full of anger, desperation, and not stable. I made sure no one could see it but it's been hard and I've been slipping. It's hard to keep smiling, it's hard to be there for others, it's hard to control, and I'm trying to cling to positivity.

[dr3amluna]

Weight in

Current weight:209

Wait taped: 46.3

Lost 1 pound and .2 inches so far. My consistency has been off due to life and emotional instability. Trying so hard.

[dr3amluna]

Check in

Day 7 done

[dr3amluna]

Suspect depression

I don't know what's wrong with me. I get into arguments with my beloved I want to scream but I don't . Only the stupid tears run down. My heart crying, hurt again. What is wrong with me I feel like crying screaming but I hold it in for a min and it's all gone and I feel nothing. I'm trying to cry to let it out but nothing comes. My eyes are dry and my logic sets in. I apologized for hurting his feeling he apologized for screaming and throwing stuff. I have bad behavior it might be PTSD of my own from all that screaming and emotional abuse. Whatever it's the past he is better but I'm not happy though. I should be excited but I'm not. Am I loosing love, is it because I don't argue back anymore, I think it's pointless to argue. I feel stepped on somehow and I feel something withering in my heart. Im hoping it's not my love for him.