MALFOY, PERHAPS?

Mostly drarry with the occasional terrible cornetto-related pun

[poseidons-getting-milk]

Half-Blood Prince is like:

Hermione: I wish Ron liked me back

Ron: I wish Hermione liked me back

Lavender: I wish Ron liked me back

Ginny: I wish Harry liked me back

Dean: I wish Ginny liked me back

Seamus: I wish dean liked me back

Harry: I wish Ginny liked me back

Draco: The only way to save myself and my family is to kill Dumbledore which will end the rest of the entire wizarding world, Snape and Harry won’t get off my back, and i have no idea how to fix the magic cabinet but if i fail GrayBack will kill me and my mother

Snape: I wish Lilly liked me back

[gracious-midnight]

Dumbledore: Let's go bungee jumping off of the Astronomy Tower!

[dracornetto]

anyone else still logged into their embarrassingly successful teen self's harry potter fan account which you haven't used in years but still keep just for the vibes... bc same lol

[raynbowsly]

Harry: Mione ...

Hermione: Hmm?

Harry: I think I have a crush on Draco ...

Hermione: * lowers the book * congratulations you are definitely the last to know that.

[dracornetto]

huff: *inhales*

le: *holds*

puff: *EXHALES SMOKE LETTERS SPELLING H~U~F~F~L~E~P~U~F~F~I~S~T~H~E~S~T~O~N~E~R~H~O~U~S~E~H~A~P~P~Y~4~2~0~F~R~I~E~N~D~S~~~*

[shitthehousessay]

“You know what’s funny about Huff? They’re my best friend. And anyone who would hurt them is someone I would murder, probably.”

— Slytherin

[soggy-pumpkin]

Dumbledore: HARRY DID YOU PUT YA NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE!!?!?!?

Draco: Don’t be daft, he couldn’t even reach it if he tried.

Harry: … Never in my life did I think I would agree with an insult.

[incorrecttomarryquotes]

Tom: Why is there a dead person in here?

Harry: There was probably a live person in here, and then something happened that made them dead.

Tom: Good analysis, Harry.

[dovekiss]

If you have a minute, donate a free Valentine’s Day card to a sick child, it’s completely free and will make somebody very happy 💕

[overheard-at-hogwarts]

Blaise: I love you.

Pansy: I don’t blame you.

[ununquadius]

Harry: Come on, where’s your Christmas spirit?

Draco: It died when I saw that ugly ornament you put on our tree

[aprilsllama-blog]

someone: write a fanfic please!

me: nah, i don't really do fanfics.

me a few days later: I'm WRitiNg a smuT DrARRY FANfIC geT ReADY PpL

[heybastardcore]

Draco: yeah I like potter but it’s not like I lay awake in bed thinking about him.

Draco, laying in bed awake at 2 a.m.: *SCREAMS*

In the griffindor dorms

Harry: what in the fucking world-

[lupinology]

draco: you look like my first husband

harry: …

harry: malfoy we haven’t even finished sixth-year you aren’t married

draco: no, not yet

harry:

draco:

harry: OH

ron: *in the background* u smooth fuck

[dracornetto]

Draco: *whimpers*

Harry: what’s wrong now?

Draco: looK AT THE BABY SNAKES

[dracornetto]

Draco: *shows great concern for harry*

Draco: I hope potter dies

[its-hp-bitch]

“Apologize? Over my rich, hot, dead body.”

— Draco Malfoy, when asked to apologize

[dracornetto]

Draco:

Harry:

Hermione: you know, you can’t both play hard to get