Yo ho and a bottle of bitching

37 | Ace spectrum | I tag NSFW for you to block! | My anticapitalist tag is #fuck capitalism | My linktree is https://linktr.ee/dranikitty

[kosmogrl]

it would be so nice if I could get what I want for once in my life

[penny-anna]

okay, for those interested, here is a full timeline of how we got to Count Binface:

1977: Star Wars is released, featuring, of course, Darth Vader

(Pictured: Darth Vader)

1984: Director Todd Durham releases his Star Wars parody movie, Hyperspace, featuring Darth Vader inspired villain Lord Buckethead.

(Pictured: Hyperspace poster featuring two Jawa-esque aliens flying through space in a shopping trolley.)

1987: Hyperspace is released on video in the UK, under the new title Gremloids.

(Pictured: Gremloids cover in the style of the original Star Wars poster, featuring Lord Buckethead.)

To promote the film, Mike Lee, the owner of the distributing company, ran for parliament as Lord Buckethead. He ran in Margaret Thatcher's constituency, Finchley, in order to get on TV. Lord Buckethead was representing the Gremloids party.

(Pictured: Lord Buckethead on TV with Margaret Thatcher.)

1992: Gremloids is re-released. Lord Buckethead rides again, this time against prime minister John Major in Huntingdon. (Here's a fun fact about Huntingdon: I was born there! :D) 87/92 Buckethead seems to have leaned pretty hard into the space supervillain thing, with campaign promises including 'demolish Birmingham to build a spaceport'.

(Pictured: Lord Buckethead on TV with John Major. Other notable candidates include Screaming Lord Sutch of the Monster Raving Loony Party.)

2017: comedian Jon Harvey, having recently watched Gremloids and learned of Lord Buckethead's candidacy for parliament, decides it's a great bit. He runs against Theresa May in Maidenhead. 2017 Buckethead seems to have a wackier and also more political approach, with campaign promises ranging from nonsense like 'nationalise Adele' to gesturing at actually sensible policies with stuff like 'lower the voting age to 16 and restrict voting after age 80'.

He also made an appearance on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. As with his previous incarnation, he was a member of the Gremloids party.

(Pictured: Lord Buckethead dabbing on stage with Theresa May.)

2018: Director Todd Durham asserts his legal ownership of Lord Buckethead. Jon Harvey opted not to go to court over Buckethead and handed over the reins. Todd Durham extended an invitation to anyone who wanted to be the 'authorised' Lord Buckethead.

(Pictured: the new Lord Buckethead.)

2019: Lord Buckethead, now played by journalist David Hughes, stood against Boris Johnson in Uxbridge and South Ruislip. He ran for the Monster Raving Loony Party, the UK's pre-existing gag candidate party. He ran with a similarly silly manifesto as the 2017 incarnation, but with a bit less of a political edge. His promises included 'All doorways to be increased by 1 foot (30 cm) in height' and 'Nigel Farage to be sold for parts'.

(Pictured: Lord Buckethead and Count Binface square up.)

Meanwhile, Jon Harvey in his new persona Count Binface, also ran against Boris Johnson. Buckethead and Binface face off! Binface ran as an independent with a manifesto once again blending silly and semi-serious promises such as 'nationalising model railways' and 'giving £1 trillion a week to the NHS'. This was also I believe the debut of his promise to 'move the hand dryer in the men's toilet at Uxbridge's Crown and Treaty pub to a more sensible position'.

(Pictured: Count Binface presenting the offending hand dryer, inconveniently close to both the sink and the urinals.)

He has a point.

2021: Count Binface runs for the position of Mayor of London for the first time, with promises such as 'London to join the European Union'. He notably finished ahead of far right party UKIP.

2023: Count Binface runs in the Uxbridge and South Ruislip by-election following Boris Johnson's resignation. He once again gets more votes than UKIP.

May 2024: Count Binface once again runs to be Mayor of London, debuting his now iconic 'build at least one affordable house' promise. Notably, he finished ahead of far right party Britain First.

(Pictured: Count Binface with Rishi Sunak. Also pictured: Monster Raving Loony Party candidate Sir Archibald Stanton with a ventriloquist's dummy.)

July 2024: Count Binface stands in the general election, running in Richmond and Northallerton against prime minister Rishi Sunak. He debuts his promise to cap the price of 99p flakes at 99p. This is his most successful election to date with 308 votes.

(Pictured: Count Binface with Andy Burnham. Also pictured: independent candidate Robert Pownell, dressed as a fox for his own reasons.)

June 2026: Count Binface stands in the Makerfield by-election against Andy Burnham, (recently) former Mayor of Manchester running for parliament with the intention of standing in the Labour Party leadership contest.

(Pictured: Count Binface on BBC's Newsnight.)

July 2026 (this week): Count Binface announces his intention to run against Nigel Farage in the upcoming Clacton by-election. He is briefly the only other candidate in the race and by the time other candidates announce themselves the narrative of 'Nigel Farage vs Count Binface' has already bedded in. And then it was now, and then I don't know what happened.

[wooteena]

crazy how there are only 2 hours of doing things every day before you keel over and die. if this werent normal id be worried

[itsza]

having a threesome isnt going to solve any of their problems but they should do it anyway

[64mpg]

“my friend is ALWAYS sick and cancelling our plans” it sounds like your friends life suuucks and you should check on them

[lottafeelingsinhere]

One of the worst parts of being chronically ill is how lonely it gets. You need a community to help you but you realize just how conditional your friendships are on you being able bodied.

[ispyspookymansion]

to be honest, kitten doesnt know how many more “ok 💗 yay 💗”s they have left in them

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

You have became this medieval role, how do you feel about it

you are in the medieval era and you have this role!

How do you feel?

great!! I love this

good!

It's okay

So bad. I hate this

This is similar to my real job!

Results/other

Voting ended onJul 18

[hibi-flower]

sources: unknown // unknown // maplepecanpastry on tumblr // ashmanathletics on tiktok // i saw the tv glow (2024) // pray for me by kendrick lamar // unknown // what are you waiting for? by derald cannon jr. // unknown // unknown // drunk drivers/killer whales by car seat headrest // polekingrasputin on instagram

on waiting / on saving yourself

[ghouliens]

Ötzi the icemans' murderer could still be out there. We just don't know.

[just-s0me-stranger]

How do we even know he was called Ötzi?

Did he have his name written down on something?

Or is that what the people who dug him up thousands of years later decided to name him?

And how TF does he even have a fanbase?

How TF do you even get a fanbase just for being murdered?

[ghouliens]

Apologies if this is all stuff you already know and you were being rhetorical but he definitely was not called Ötzi!

Ötzi is a 5300-ish year old mummy, found in the Ötztal Alps in Italy (hence his name). While the earliest form of writing was emerging from Sumer at the time, Ötzi likely came from a civilisation with no writing system.

Ötzi has a fanbase because frankly he's absolutely fascinating. For a long time he was the oldest tattooed person ever discovered (in 2018 older Egyptian mummies were discovered), with 61 tattoos, a series of lines and crosses, primarily on his joints. These tattoos were likely an early form of acupuncture since he had worn joints that likely caused him pain.

The amount we've been able to study and understand about Ötzi is incredible, and he has offered us an incredible view of the European Copper Age. He was 45. He was 5"3. He was around 50kgs. We know what his final meal was, how he dressed, where he came from and how he travelled to the Ötztal region (through pollen in his lungs). We know he was involved in copper smelting (high levels of copper and arsenic in his hair). He could still have 19 descendants alive today. We know he was sick three times in the last six months before he died. We know he had whipworms. We know he was lactose intolerant.

We know he was murdered. Not killed by a stranger, or robbed. He was murdered by someone, and it was probably personal, and he did not know it was coming. He bled out, from an arrow to the back, and nobody helped him.

His last meal was elaborate. He was not on the run, or in a hurry to get away. He was not chased up those mountains. Where was he going? Why was he being followed? His body was not looted. He was a wealthy man, for his time. He had good quality clothes, shoes that people have reconstructed and hiked up the mountain in (and found surprisingly comfortable, apparently).

Weapons, too. He was found with a copper axe, a knife, arrows and an unfinished bow, baskets and medicines. These were all valuable possessions. People were not so rich back then that they could easily discard items like this- so why were they left to rot on the mountain with him? Was the fact they'd been touched by Ötzi really so repugnant to whoever was on that mountain?

There are at least 4 other people's blood on his gear. On the knife. On the arrows. The arrow that they shot him with was left in his back but the shaft was removed.

We know so much about Ötzi. We know everything about his finals hours- except for everything about Ötzi. We do not know who he was, we do not know his name, and we do not know why he was killed. His murderers stand in the shadows and will never come out into the light.

Anyway, that's why I find him fascinating!

[vintagelasvegas]

Imperial 400 motel, 3265 Las Vegas Blvd - circa 1981

The Los Angeles-based motel chain had uniform properties in two-stories with "gull wing" shaped roofs over the lobby, and a sign topped with the shape of the lobby. It was a limited-service hotel chain, competing mainly with Travelodge.

The Las Vegas location was built in '63, taking the place of the former Ottilia Villa Motel, aka Spanish Trail Motel. The sign was built by Federal Signs. The motel changed names to Days Inn ('89-'96), then Vagabond Inn ('96-2005). The property was demolished and became part of the Palazzo footprint. 

Circa '63

1960s

Three images circa 1970s. Maggie's Coffee Shop and liquor store on the left was a separate property.

[cookie-nom-nom]

okay but imagine how inconvenient the streets of Central City, Amestris, is. Like yeah yeah country wide alchemy circle aside- can you IMAGINE the traffic? Like for the Love of Truth can we add another lane on this road?? The cars are backed up for miles! The urban planning board must be the sorriest people in the world. They got no clue what an alchemist circle looks like BUT the Fuhrer keeps showing up for an ominous visit every time they try to get a modicum of reasonable city layout. The zoning laws have got to be pure evil.

[okiedoketm]

how many accidents do you think there are on the Central Command Roundabout in an average day

[darkaviarymc]

The crest of blood in the center was carved over the course of multiple years via traffic fatalities

[cookie-nom-nom]

At that point who even needs a genocide.

[raviolireptile]

Hubris

[scrillpy]

not sure what to put as the caption but. yeah!!!!

[fivetrench]

Here’s my take on this.

Intersex bodies do not need correcting, intersex bodies are not unnatural. Intersex people deserve autonomy.

Stop nonconsensual intersex surgeries.

[depsidase]

[redstonedust]

its incredible that there are people in this world who are rude on purpose. i'm rude on accident and 6 years later i'll still be thinking about it with my heart beating so fast it feels like i'm going to pass out and my hands sweating and the sickness and the sickness and th

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[casuallyodd]

Both of these tags are right. I love when a cat will just put up with your silly human games. They love you and know you love them and are just happy with you.

[willgrahamscock]

why would you ever outsource fun to chatgpt? are you stupid? you can make mediocre shit by yourself too.

[willgrahamscock]

you're missing out on all the crazy euphoric moments where you execute an idea flawlessly, sending it to your friends and feeling the genuine happiness at their reactions to something you made authentically. you're robbing yourself of something beautiful.

and I get it, writers block, artists block, depression can really be terrible, but once you break out of it (and you will) it will feel like climbing Mount Everest.

[willgrahamscock]

peace and love on planet earth! you are saving the environment AND you’re cool!

[willgrahamscock]

WE ARE PROUD OF YOU!!!!