Cosmic Funnies
Sweet Seals For You, Always
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Doug Jones
Noah Kahan
gracie abrams
bliss lane
if i look back, i am lost
blake kathryn
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Monterey Bay Aquarium
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Game Changer & Make Some Noise
todays bird
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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The Stonewall Inn
Mike Driver
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seen from United States
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@okiedoketm
my girlfriend was full-on screaming in her sleep like she was having a horrible night terror so i shook her awake and she said “i was having a dream where we had a pet bug and it followed me into the shower and i was so scared it was gonna drown :(”
wait money can be exchanged for goods and services?? can’t believe i’ve been wasting that shit on rent like an idiot
sabaody law my beloved
manager in the fanfiction universe: I don't care how many flower petals you're coughing up. You need to come in today
Mordecai and Rigby, confess your feelings for one another so you two can stop coughing up these rose petals and we can start cleaning them up OR YOU'RE FIRED!!!
Mordecai catches the disease from Rigby who (doesn’t wash his hands and) has been badly hiding it for the past month. Rigby refuses to even admit he has it, let alone who it’s for and that he “totally gave it to me, dude.”
It takes about a week for Benson to get annoyed and lock them in a woodshed and not let them out until they “work out their issues.” But when Mordecai gives up (Benson isn’t feeding them) he confesses that he “kinda loves” Rigby, and “honestly I sometimes think about fucking you, but only right after you shower because it’s the only time you don’t smell like the trampoline.”
And Rigby is like “oh shit wait… really?” Mordecai, fresh off hacking up a dead shrub and finally breathing right for the first time in days is like “shut the fuck up man, just say it back so we can get out of here and chug some cough medicine my throat hurts.” To which Rigby, visibly panicking, says “dude what are you talking about I’m down bad for EILEEN! I was just embarrassed about it being Eileen!”
Mordecai insists Rigby is lying and pressures him into finally saying “fine, I love you too, dude!” And… it does nothing. He does not cough everything up. Because yeah, no, he really is just crushing on Eileen.
Mordecai, feeling humiliated that he admitted liking Rigby and pissed that he isn’t the most important person in Rigby’s life like he assumed, proceeds to guilt trip Rigby— who is still actively dying btw— for another week. He simultaneously refuses to acknowledge the confession and also says shit like “I don’t know why I’m doing this for someone who hates me so much,” every time he so much as brings him a glass of water. Because Rigby can’t move much anymore. There are roots coming out of his mouth.
Finally, Mordecai wakes up one day in the center of a hedgemaze that has overtaken the entire park overnight, complete with Eileen-shaped ents and mandrakes trying to kill everyone inside. Skips says they have to get Eileen to Rigby so he can release the emotional tension fueling the disease before his maze takes over the entire town and the government firebombs it to prevent it consuming the entire country. (“They have contingencies for this,” Skips says grimly. “I’ve seen it before.”)
They grab Eileen just as the maze overtakes the coffee shop and fight their way to the center in a montage. Mordecai is very insulting towards her and makes eye contact every time he kills an evil topiary that looks like her. They still haven’t told her what’s going on, either, I think she’s just figured out from context clues and the obvious flower sculptures that Rigby has hanahaki and it’s for her.
Anyway as they get closer, they start seeing some topiaries of Mordecai, who is like “Ha! I knew it! He’s a liar! His confession just wasn’t sincere enough!” And then they turn the corner and there’s a bunch of Bensons and Rigby’s brother Don they’re all like “ummm—?” Skips is like “it’s worse than I feared” and everyone is like “YEAH IT IS, THATS HIS BROTHER!”/“—THATS BENSON!”/“—THATS ME!” and Skips explains no, when you get far enough along its not just romantic tension that grows out of control, but other unresolved tensions like resentment, jealousy, fear, etc. And sure enough everyone Rigby has ever known is there. (Except Pops cuz they’re chill, tho Pops is sad he doesn’t have one.)
Anyway, all the topiaries come to life and everyone fights a hoard of their doubles with gardening tools (plus a hairspray flamethrower for MM and Fives). Final boss is two massive stone fountain statues of Eileen and Mordecai covered in Red Carnations and Poison Ivy respectively. The two of them see Rigby behind the statues, writhing in pain as he’s split apart by a ton of thorny roots coming out of his mouth, eyes, nose, and probably anus. Mordecai and Eileen share a look and fight together to get past the statues, perfectly in sync, and when they reach Rigby and clear his mouth enough, he confesses that he’s in love with Eileen and he was so afraid of Mordecai’s opinion that he hasn’t been able to say anything in fear of Mordecai ridiculing him or driving her away.
Things start dying, but not all the way. Skips shouts “EVERYTHING! You have to confess everything!” And so Rigby, in front of his boss and all his coworkers, rattles off a bunch of things that made him fall in love with Eileen, and all his fantasies about “cringe” things he wants to do like hold her hand and listen to her talk about boring statistics he doesn’t understand for hours and then he confesses that he lives in constant fear of Mordecai’s opinions because he worries what everyone thinks of him but Mordecai is the only one who actually gives a shit about him at all and if HE leaves then it just proves that he is unlovable and—
Anyway once it’s over Eileen dips like “Rigby, this isn’t a rejection but that was a LOT and I need to stay overnight in the hospital for my internal bleeding before I can process this. I’ll call you?” and then the rest of the park employees leave so it’s just Mordecai and Rigby alone in the ruins of the park House in silence for a beat. Then Mordecai says “I’ll be cool about your crush on Eileen if you forget I said I wanted to fuck you.” And Rigby is like “Deal. We never speak of this again.”
End of episode.
two geniuses in a fullmetal heart
Sports announcer salmon ocs
The mighty nein's romantic entanglements are soo funny when you try to put them down on paper. Like. Jester is in love with Fjord, who has feelings for her too but also he was seduced by and slept with an evil cult leader, who was also the ex of his father figure, whose accent and mannerisms Fjord was mimicking while sleeping with her. Also the evil ex flirted with Beau, who then got her killed and stole her clothes. Beau was growing feelings for Yasha but then Yasha turned evil and had a dead wife so Beau slept with Reani (who was also attracted to Caleb and Essek) and developed a crush on Jester and then Yasha came back and she reciprocated but also she too may have had a crush on Jester, and also she invited Veth into a threesome with her and Beau. Caleb also has feelings for Jester and they never really went away and he thinks Fjord is really hot and he's being hunted by his two evil exes from his old polycule (who he's maybe planning to murder so he can use their bodies to fake his parents' death but none of them ever got over each other) and his best friend (who was married before she died and came back wrong) is in love with him and his feelings for her are more complicated than can be described in words and she’s the most important person in his life and he isn't necessarily in love with her but he is jealous of her husband. He and Essek were honeypotting each other for information but then they really liked each other but then Essek was evil and Caleb projected on him like crazy and now they grow green beans together. Molly flirted with everyone and slept naked in his and Fjord's room, but also all three instances of him expressed attraction to Caleb specifically and who knows where that would've lead had he lived. They’ve all seen each other naked (to search each other for evil eyes). Caduceus is there, eating popcorn.
He was a killer He did fishing What more can I say?
THIS IS AN OC CHECKPOINT
give me 1 cool fact about your oc RIGHT NOW
Hades II (2024) dev. Supergiant Games Melinoë UI Sprites
everyone owes emily a dollar for this clip
Transcript:
Murph, as the others "Yeah" and "Mhm" in agreement: And what if he has-- okay, going back to the laser disk stuff, and Jake was saying maybe Grisby has a laser disk on him, he has a bunch of obsolete media on him. So he has a laser disk player-- Emily: Ohh, 8-track. Murph: With an-- yeah, an 8-track on the back. Emily: And he's wearing two iPod minis as earrings. Murph: Yeahhhh! Caldwell: Oh and maybe he says "I put this movie on while I'm eating pussy" [Beat. Emily and Murph cackle.] Murph: (through laughter) Is that a reference to something? Jake: I don't hate that. [Caldwell laughs. For the next while, Emily and Murph talk over each other while Caldwell laughs in the background.] Emily: It's, um-- nonono. It's trademark Grisby. Murph: (laughing harder) it's trademark Grisby?? Caldwell: (laughing) that's really great. Emily: In fact you owe me-- you owe me a dollar for hearing that!! You owe me a dollar for hearing that, Murph!! Murph: (barely able to speak) I eat pussy??-- I watch this movie-- while eating pussy. Jake: That's the Grisby catchphrase. Emily: You owe me a dollar for hearing Caldwell's joke. Cause I'm Caldwell's manager. Caldwell came up with that trademark. Grisby is-- Caldwell-- Give me a dollar, Murph!! Murph: (still laughing) That just-- That was so out of left field. I was like-- this is from a movie. This is-- Emily: Give me a dollar!!! Jake: If you heard Caldwell say that, you owe Emily a dollar. Caldwell: (recovering) That's a Grisby original, man! Murph, as Emily and Caldwell laugh increasingly harder in the background: Alright. Grisby has an awesome catchphrase. He-- (laughs). What kind of person is like… giving enough that they eat pussy? But like, distracted enough that they need to watch a movie during it. But is also eating pussy for like two hours to watch a full movie. Caldwell: I think they're just so good at it. Murph: They're so g-- okay. Emily: Yeah yeah yeah. Jake: Right. They can multitask. Murph: But why would they want to watch a movie during it? Jake: Well, 'cause they have a human tongue. Murph: Theoretically though, you'd need to be engaged for it to be good? Oh my god that's so fuckin' funny. Jake: Well, not when you're Grisby. Murph: Grisby…. wow….. that's a great punishment. Emily: Well that's Grisby's-- that's Grisby's-- I think it's a punishment is that Grisby's-- Murph: Grisby has a laser disk player. Plays Vanilla Sky on descent. It's the only of its type. I put this movie on when I'm eating (sing-song) pussyyyyy~ [The others laugh.]
what's your take on yqy's flaws?
can you talk abt him not telling sj as well as him ignoring lbh's abuse?
what's your take on that? /gen
yeah sure! tho my pedant ass is a bit like 'ehhh what are we counting as flaws exactly' but I'll address the two points you brought up. WARNING THIS POST IS VERY LONG
not telling sj: I'll be so honest with you I hold this one as much or more against sj than I do yqy. I think there is no evidence in the text that sj ever asked yqy to explain himself on why he didn't come back for him again after the first time, and I don't believe he ever did. I think this because I don't think sj thought he had any reason to keep asking; as far as he was concerned, he knew the full story, which was that yqy didn't come back for him because he wasn't worth coming back for. we as the audience know that sj didn't have the full story and that he would feel very differently about things if he knew, so we want him to ask, just like we want yqy to confess, but sj truly had no impetus to think he was missing anything. of course, since sj had no impetus to think he was missing anything, I also don't mean to say that I blame sj for not asking - I'm only clarifying that I don't agree with the interpretation that sj was desperate for yqy to explain himself while yqy deliberately refused to give him anything for years on end.
likewise, I don't think yqy had any reason to think he was hurting sj more by not explaining himself. I think yqy wanted to tell sj why he took so long, but I also think that he thinks this would be an act of selfishness on yqy's part, an avoidance of responsibility and fault. as far as yqy is concerned, sj spent three years in the Qiu household until he hit his breaking point, and that's yqy's fault. it's doubly yqy's fault, because it's yqy's fault that he ended up there in the first place, and it's yqy's fault that he failed to come back sooner. from yqy's point of view, what he went through does not excuse what sj went through for three years. sj tells yqy that the reason sj was bought by the Qius was because yqy was too impulsive; after this, the reason yqy was delayed was also because yqy was too impulsive. his failure is a direct failure to fulfill sj's instructions to him. to yqy, explaining himself doesn't make himself look better or show sj how much he cares about him in any way. he doesn't think sj would forgive him if he told him. he wants to tell sj because he wants to be close with sj again.
yqy is the one who wants to tell sj what happened to him and yqy is the one who wants to go back to the people they used to be and the relationship they used to have. sqq considers yq dead and wants sj dead. yqy is spending most of the time waiting for any sign of permission or indication that sqq might be amenable to talking about the past, or talking more at all, and is the one who gently presses to try to see if sj will let him say 'Xiao-Jiu,' if he will be permitted to be 'Qi-ge' again. sj hates this, because he wants to escape that version of himself completely.
so if yqy is the one who wanted to say it, then why didn't he? why not say it from the very beginning?
well this is kind of like saying sj should have told everyone at the trial that he was abused by qjl. although there are also people who hold that opinion. on both counts: I think it is honestly really humanly normal to physically not be able to bring yourself to say these things out loud on the spot. certainly especially so in svsss where virtually everyone has some issues with articulating their feelings in the first place, much much moreso when the experience was THAT traumatizing. and on top of that, for yqy in that moment, his experience in the Caves 1. was less than a year prior 2. directly taught him that no one will listen to his feelings. voicing his pain won't lead to help. screaming is futile. his wants and emotions won't be answered even if he begs.
it's probably hard for yqy to verbalize his emotions or suffering at all. it's especially hard when sj clearly flags that he's not interested in listening.
at their reunion, sj asks for his reason, yqy apologizes, and sj strikes down his apology. after that first conversation, we see yqy try to bring up what happened to him with Xuan Su three more times. the first time was in the Ling Xi Caves. to paraphrase, he tells sj, "I've been here before," and sj replies, "who cares?!" in this scene, this slight rejection was enough to put yqy off completely from pushing the subject. as the scene goes on, yqy is progressively less and less able to speak at all, and is physically trembling by the end. yqy is literally at the scene of his trauma. this is like asking sj to instigate a calm and productive recounting of events about what qjl did to him while sitting on the floor of qjl's study. in spite of this, yqy actually did try to broach the subject at the start.
the other two times are his two resolutions in timeline. in pidw, he tries to tell sj to draw Xuan Su. sj tells him off, but this time, yqy tries to push through- only for sj to literally shout him down when he says 'Xiao-Jiu.' after this, yqy goes completely silent. I think the book described it something like 'it was as if all the courage he mustered up was shattered.' he does not speak again, at all, for the remainder of the scene.
the only scene in which sj is the one who instigates the topic is that first conversation at their reunion. in both of the above scenes, yqy tries to bring it up, only to be deterred because sj actively shuts him down from continuing. for yqy, this is clearly something that requires a great deal of courage, and he genuinely tries very hard to get to the starting point, but buffeting him back down to silence is very, very easy. yqy wants to confess to sj, and tries to instigate this, and fails, repeatedly, because sj does not give him the permission and forgiveness yqy feels he needs to confess.
the third time, of course, is in svsss, when he actually confesses to sqq. this is after three book's worth of sy treating him with clear amicability, trust, and respect. sy listens to him without rebuffing him, and yqy is able to say everything. if the reason yqy never told sj why he didn't come back for him had only been because yqy wanted to keep it from him, to the point that he deflected even if sj asked many times over the years, to the point that he wouldn't tell sj even when sj was effectively on his death bed, why, then, could he freely tell sy and make no attempt to hide it at all?
to me, calling yqy's struggles with speaking his feelings a 'flaw' is much like calling sj's fear of men a 'flaw.' both of these things do have very tangible negative impacts on their interpersonal relationships. at the same time, calling sj's fear of men a 'character flaw' would feel kinda victim blame-y, no? I think 'flaw' comes with a connotation that feels like, 'the problem with this problem is that it causes harm to other people, and the person who has this problem is at fault for not fixing it,' so it feels kind of wrong as a descriptor to either of these things for the same reason, to me. both of them feel like deeply ingrained physiological responses, very deep-seated fears that can't be easily willed away. the only way to 'fix' them is to give them a great deal of support over a great deal of time. deriding or punishing them for these traits would not make them better.
ignoring lbh's abuse: yqy does not ignore it. yqy openly disapproves of lbh's abuse in the very first scene we see when sy wakes up in the world of pidw. the way this conversation goes suggests to me that yqy is already approaching this as an old, well-trodden argument. he has already told sqq to be kinder to his disciple. even in the extra chapters, in the Water Prison, yqy tells sj that he was the one in the wrong to treat lbh the way he did.
even so, I think it's fair to criticize yqy on this point. he might have argued with sqq about it, but it's clear he didn't punish sqq, strip sqq of his authority, intervene by scolding Ming Fan and sqq's other disciples himself, or remove lbh from the situation. yqy was Sect Leader, and he theoretically had these or perhaps other options available to him. he was not oblivious to what was happening, and he did disapprove--but he didn't 'overstep.'
this is just my personal 'shortest path between A and B' interpretation, but I think yqy's mentality as something of a child gang leader suited certain aspects of the framework of CQMS's clannish structure and values very very well. CQMS highly values relationships within the same generation across different peaks, which is how they've remained a single group across many generations despite hosting a wide breadth of very very different paths and cultures. yqy, in particular, is the eldest shixiong to all of the other Peak Lords. I think on some level he probably views this group as his new 'gang,' thus also views them as his family and responsibility, and under most circumstances he would probably prioritize this group first above all others. this also goes as an explanation for how sqh kept his post after letting demons in to kill thousands of people at the IAC.
either alternatively or additionally, and I do mean this as a criticism: he probably really is too nice. he's generally lenient. he honestly seems pretty fond of rowdy, disruptive personalities. he's not exactly running a tight ship, and sqq isn't the only Peak Lord whose idiosyncrasies make other Peak Lords' jobs harder.
but, of course, when it comes to sqq in particular, there is another added layer which he himself states: he feels he has no right to rebuke sqq. until and unless sqq grants yqy redemption, he has no leg to stand on acting like he's sqq's better and sqq has to listen to his admonishments, because yqy failed him too deeply - and, again, yqy's failure was in something sj saw in him and directly advised him to improve. on a certain level, yqy truly trusts and believes in sj's judgment, at least the judgment he had once. this is a very... um, fraught and less than ideal dynamic when yqy is technically the one with more authority between them, to say the least. it at least doesn't stop yqy from trying.
"yqy is trying" is really my fundamental core read of his character. more than almost anyone else in svsss, I think yqy is really almost always just trying to do the right thing. sometimes he fails. sometimes, like with the clannishness, his idea of what 'the right thing' entails is colored heavily by where he came from and what he has been taught, and I don't necessarily agree with it. sometimes there are a lot of different factors he's trying to juggle, and he doesn't do a good job of it. but it makes me sad when people frame his fumbling but earnest attempts as more malicious, untrustworthy, and harmful than the like, many many other characters in svsss who don't even really give a shit about doing the right thing half the time.
if I were to pick what I consider yqy's biggest issue, I think yqy is very, very alone in a crowd. he can't share his real self with anyone. much of this is due to his own overassumption of responsibility towards others, due to the secrets he has to hold for his shizun and for sj, and due to his trauma with calling out for help. he instinctively doesn't believe he will be heard, and it cuts him off from other people, even as at the same time he feels he should hold them all up. is this a flaw? I dunno. I think the person it hurts most is himself
Are you in?
Growing up with your starters
Artist: esasi8794 / Twitter
The captions are also really cute, although they mostly describe what’s in each photo:
Bulbasaur: Somehow, nomming on my clothes… has become a weird habit of theirs.
Venusaur: That hasn’t changed now that they’ve grown, but they’re very gentle.
Charmander: It’s my first attempt, but I made a plushie so that he wouldn’t get lonely.
Charizard: That plushie seems to be his favorite even now.
Squirtle: Squirtle’s a bit timid and hides behind me at the smallest things.
Blastoise: Looks like they’re scared of the first Pichu they’ve seen. You’re not really hiding!
@noelle217
This is adorable
They just posted some more!
[source]
And some more!
You forgot these!!!
I’m disappointed that these were left out
SO MANY GOOD ONES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
If I ever don’t reblog this, kill me
The doctor is in! Shoot me a DM here on tumblr with your request and I’ll get to you ASAP. meow!
anyone else get sick and fucking tired of making decisions. sometimes i just want to go pliant and pouty and be arranged and petted at. "puppy in a bad mood?" yes actually. "puppy want me to handle it?" yes, actually!
She was forced to eat 200 souls of the ninth house when she was conceived 💔 Griddlehark as kids
