Being human is difficult @dreamerthatlistensto - Tumblr Blog

mental health resources for poc

The key to writing good fanfiction is to harbor a deeply humiliating desire, and the trick there is that even pretty basic and societally-accepted desires like “being held” and “being wanted” CAN and WILL be humiliating if they’re intense enough. Become so estranged from human connection that the idea of someone playing with your hair fills you with yearning so deep you feel like you’re going to throw up and you will write some banger fanfiction. It might have some other consequences too but idrk about that.

batneko

Shout-out to characters who don't plan to survive their stories! Heroes who think they can only atone for their failures through sacrifice, villains who don't think they deserve to live in the world they're trying to create. Gimme that passive suicidality baby, mm-mm, delicious.

willgrahamscock

daciancatamite

im sorry but the idea that society "allows" women to express their feelings is ridiculous. which society do yall live in

daciancatamite

are women encouraged to be sad? to grieve? to be angry? to be bitter? to be petty? are they encouraged to be emotional, or are they expected to be emotional and then called irrational hormonal bitches for it?

squigglinmywaydowntown

Queerplatonic attraction is so bizarre like wdym I want to fall asleep on your shoulder and I smile every time I think of you and I want to embrace you and kiss you on the cheek and I genuinely love you so much and labeling it as romantic doesn’t seem right, yet labeling it as regular platonic attraction doesn’t seem like enough

What to do

infestedapple

it’s so hard being a literal angel and the worst person to ever exist simultaneously

#something manic me would think

moniquill

madrabbitsociety

What is it the people say? Like to charge reblog to cast?

loveridden1999

two contradicting things can be true at the same time. maduro is an authoritarion human rights violator but that doesn't give trump the rights to drop bombs on innocent people or to capture world leaders. he's doing this because he can because he has the military & global power to, just like previous american presidents. maduro doesn't care about venezuela & neither does trump, my heart goes out to innocent venezuelans caught up between these two.

qqchurch

landofwindandthrowingshade

ceruleanheaven

if im killing myself and youre killing yourself then who tf is gonna write the yaoi

bebsi-cola

disabled people are often in permacrisis

bebsi-cola

there's never enough money each month. there's always an unexpected illness. new symptoms pop up or old symptoms flare up. meds have to be managed always and refilled constantly and any refill has the opportunity to go wrong. any regular care has the opportunity to go wrong. any mistake can send your health spiralling. it's always "i just need to get through this bad patch" but as soon as one ends another begins. another crisis begins in the middle of the last crisis. managing one thing leaves another thing to be neglected until that becomes a major issue and has to be managed asap and the cycle starts anew over and over and over

byjove

Though I don’t have a fear of dogs, I find it really sad and disgusting the way the phobia is treated at large. Cynophobia is one of the most common and debilitating phobias and it often forms in childhood, especially after a traumatic event. I grew up in the middle of nowhere with a lot of unleashed, untrained and/or stray dogs and I was bitten and knocked down by several dogs as a kid. Your dog might be your best friend, your dog might be a very good dog but that person may look at your dog and only remember being a helpless 6 year old child with a dog’s jaw around their neck. The fear seems irrational and hilarious to you, someone who has had mostly positive interactions with dogs but remember not everyone has lived the life you have.

So many dog owners are practically allergic to doing anything to alleviate human anxiety around their dog, even things that would greatly benefit the dog like keeping it leashed and not bringing it into high stress environments* without cause. If a friend told me they were afraid of cats, I’d tell them it is best we meet outside of my home because that is a completely reasonable accommodation. There are so many horror stories about someone being told another person is afraid of dogs and repeatedly putting them in situations where they have to be in close proximity to a dog without that person’s consent because they think it’s funny or because ‘My dog is such a good dog. It’ll definitely change their mind about dogs. This is like impromptu exposure therapy.’ and it makes everything worse.

Someone being frightened and on the verge of a panic attack at your little Shih Tzu mix may seem like an amusing overreaction to you but those bitches (pun absolutely intended) do bite and the safest thing to do for that person and your dog is to keep them separated. You don’t know what life they’ve lead.

*This post is not about service dog and handler teams. If your dog is a disability aid, it is the responsibility of others to Buck Up and Deal regardless of their opinions on dogs. This is about the epidemic of terrible dog owners taking their poorly trained dogs places and being completely inconsiderate towards others AND their own dog.

zoology

Every single day people on tumblr say "what if the shit moral OCD tells you was true and living by it was the only way to be a real progressive"

zoology

Coming home from acceptance therapy to see some shit that says "not reblogging is a moral failure" "even if you forgive yourself you should still keep thinking about it" I dont like getting kicked in the head anymore guys

zoology

a lot of people are resonating with this so i want to share one of my biggest coping techniques that helps me a lot with moral, false memory, relationship, and harm OCD. disclaimer that i am not a psychiatrist, i am not fully recovered, and i still struggle every day so your mileage may vary as to if this is helpful.

when i struggle with obsessions about not being a good enough person, i have two steps i follow. first, i try to envision the kind of person i want to be. maybe i want to be more earnest. maybe i want to be more helpful. maybe i want to be kinder. maybe i want to be more assertive. i try to imagine a self that is calm, gentle, and confident. then i think of the simplest and most constructive steps to get there. i cannot put myself down. i cannot beat myself up. the steps have to be polite and reasonable advice i could give to someone without OCD.

tomorrow i won't ask my family if they love me, i will simply enjoy their company. i won't make that mean joke anymore. the next time i see my friends i'll ask for their opinion on something small and i will share my honest opinion as well. i will pick up a book and read for 20 minutes instead of avoiding what is a fun activity because i feel "dumb."

i repeat one of my favorite simpsons quotes a lot: "you can't keep blaming yourself, blame yourself once and move on." you have to move forward and just take the steps to be the person you want to be and do the things you want to do using advice that you would give to any person other than yourself. part of being obsessive-compulsive is being rigidly self-critical and scrutinizing yourself far more than you would any other person. it's hard to beat these feelings, but the reality is that self punishment doesn't make anything better. things only get better when you move forward. you have to treat yourself like a human being.

it can be really hard to follow through with this advice sometimes. other times it's shockingly easy to start doing the things i want to do. there'll always be ups and downs and lefts and rights when living with OCD, and medication, therapy, and stress management are really helpful. still, even if it's hard, i have to move forward. i have to construct a healthy self instead of destroying an unhealthy self.

definite-human

Something I've been thinking about a lot recently is how broadly we misapply the idea of "no pain, no gain". The problem is that it is so often assumed that the logical end point is "all pain = gain", when that isn't even remotely the case. You can't break your own arm and expect the same results as if you'd come home with sore muscles from a good workout. You're just in pain and now also can't work out until your arm has healed.

The same thing is true of our inner lives. Some things are painful to go through because they are effortful - in my case, that's things like 'asking for help' and 'setting healthy boundaries'. There are other things that are painful because they are actively harmful - obsessing over past mistakes, stewing in shame and self-loathing, etc.

The simple fact is that you cannot punish yourself into being a better person anymore than you can break your body into being a star athlete. Like OP said - it's about constructing a healthy self, not destroying an unhealthy one.

fatliberation

anti-fatness is not just body shaming.

anti-fatness is discrimination. anti-fatness is having next to no legal protections for being discriminated against. anti-fatness is being denied housing, jobs, receiving less pay and promotions (legally) because of your size. anti-fatness is being denied access to clothing, seating, transportation, and other human rights because infrastructure has been designed to exclude you. anti-fatness is less likelihood of receiving a fair trial. anti-fatness is dehumanization. anti-fatness is being denied necessary surgeries, but not surgery that amputates the digestive tract with the intent to starve and shrink you (it doesn’t work either). anti-fatness is mutilation. anti-fatness is being subject to torture devices that bolt your mouth shut. anti-fatness is being told by close friends, family, and professionals that you are better off living with an eating disorder or other life-threatening illness. anti-fatness sells you starvation as a guaranteed opt-out of oppression, but doesn’t tell you that bodies will always regain weight to survive. anti-fatness blames and punishes you for failing at an achievement that is quite literally impossible. anti-fatness is a $90 billion dollar industry. anti-fatness is being denied gender-affirming care. anti-fatness is being barred from in vitro fertilization and reproductive healthcare. anti-fatness is being barred from adopting children. anti-fatness is being removed from your loving parents because they couldn’t make you thin. anti-fatness is intentionally starving your own baby so they won’t get fat. anti-fatness is disproportionately high suicide rates. anti-fatness is being killed at the hands of medical neglect and mistreatment. anti-fatness is the world preferring a dead body over a fat one.

fatliberation

reblogging this again because so many people still do not realize that fat liberation is deeply political. fat liberation is not body positivity. it is not about loving yourself or being non-judgemental. it is about THIS. 👆

rumble-bee-art

a local homosexual deals with an unfortunate crush by chewing on his hair and contemplating murder (we’ve all been there)

byjove

So many cheaters refuse to acknowledge that cheating on their partner will irrevocably change and possibly destroy their relationship with their kid. “Yeah, I cheated on you but that is no reason to keep my daughter away from me.” Your daughter probably does not want to see you because she now feels you are no longer a trustworthy and safe adult. If you’re willing to destroy her life, her mother’s self esteem and 20+ years of marriage for the joy and ego boost of fucking someone 10 years older than her, there is no guarantee you will choose her over your own pleasure in other serious situations.

They love to start playing the ‘parental alienation’ card when their adolescent and teenage children want nothing to do with them and/or their new partner after infidelity. A parent does not need to maliciously manipulate their child for that child to hold a grudge against the other parent for harming them. Even if the partner you cheated on isn’t the other parent of your child, it will still damage the way your child sees you and the respect and bond associated with that. When you cheat you damage your relationships with so many people in your life, not just the person you cheated on. Your children will also often see it as a betrayal.

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Being human is difficult