head in the clouds

Lily. 19. Bisexual. Married. Sometimes I write poetry. Header by mysticyeoja. Icon by artistyicons.

[lesbianshepard]

if I was rich i would absolutely go all out weird. commission books handwritten in a made up language. erect strange black spires in the wood. buy a boat, make it look like a perfect copy of one that was used in an 18th century antarctic expedition, and then let it drift to shore miles away. i want every interaction with me to leave people with a sense of impending cosmic horror.

[aenramsden]

I want to see a fanfic where Harry hatches a basilisk.

I want to see a fanfic where he looks up “magical snakes” as soon as he gets to Hogwarts because that thing at the zoo always bugged him, and so the Trio works out that it’s a basilisk immediately after the first petrification in Second Year. But they don’t know how it’s getting around or where it is or anything, so Harry is just like WELP SET A BASILISK TO FIND A BASILISK while Hermione and Ron are like HARRY NO.

I want to see a fanfic where Harry sticks a chicken egg under a toad and makes all these plans about how he’ll talk to his huge deadly snake and get it eye-blinkers and shit so it doesn’t kill people and make sure it’s not too aggressive, and somehow it never occurs to his twelve-year old brain that the chicken egg has a total volume of about four tablespoons and he is not going to get the giant King of Serpents he is expecting.

I want to see a fanfic where it finally breaks out of the shell and Harry finds himself with a bb!basilisk too smol to even have the murder-eyes yet, who can only petrify someone for about half an hour before the effect wears off. She eats spiders and gets tired very easily and demands that he wear a hood she can curl up in and sleep.

(She is also the same vivid green as his eyes and already hideously venomous, but doesn’t like using her fangs because she says they get cold and give her brain freeze when she unsheathes them.)

I just… I really want Harry with a haughty, demanding, arrogant danger noodle who has an overinflated sense of her own importance, views Hedwig as a TERRIFYING MENACE because she isn’t big enough to eat owls yet and keeps up a steady stream of insults hissed in Harry’s ear whenever she’s near someone who has a Dark Mark (which she can sense at close range). And who is basically useless as a familiar because she refuses to slither across anything other than sun-warmed stones or Harry, hasn’t got a very powerful gaze yet and doesn’t like biting people.

(Except snake-arm-people. She finds snake-arm-people confusing and annoying, and would probably make an exception on the no-biting thing where they’re concerned.)

[thepioden]

I mean there are obviously a lot of factors influencing snake growth rate but if we assume basilisks just get stupidhuge because they grow their whole lives and are immortal, this snake is probably going to be at least 8 feet long by Deathly Hallows, which is a significant and intimidating chunk of scaly muscle that is intelligent enough to do what it is told. Like, you know, hey, bite this necklace.  

So I mean by like his fourth year it’s going to be pretty hard to hide this snake that is nearly as long as he is tall and it’s not going to do much for his reputation that the Boy Who Lived has a pet fucking basilisk but holy damn does it make book seven a whole hell of a lot shorter. 

[galahadiant]

I feel like I should write this

[twinkie13]

can you just imagine him ron and hermione coming up with increasingly ridiculous excuses trying to hide their pet baby basilisk in the dorms (hagrid would be so proud). how long do you think it’d take before harry’s pet basilisk is just a really badly hidden secret between all of gryffindor? and the ensuring antics of the entire house as they try to keep mcgonagall from finding out? (she knows something is up, but even just thinking of what could be big enough the entire house is trying to keep it from her makes her want to break out the firewhiskey)

ron gets the idea to try and practices parseltongue with baby basilisk since he hears harry talking in his sleep with it all the time anyway (and ngl, baby basilisk is kind of adorable and eats all the spiders in the dorm so he doesn’t have to deal with them, he’s pretty smitten once she hatches), and as soon as hermione overhears him trying it, she’s dragging him and harry to the library because, well, parseltongue is a language, why can’t they learn it? so it’s the two of them alternating between hissing at harry and hissing at the basilisk and harry is trying so hard not to laugh because 90% of what they’re saying is utter nonsense and the basilisk doesn’t even bother, because she likes these two humans but wow are they dumb, that’s not how words work.

[mzminola]

#i really wish jkr took more advantage of the parseltongue thing

#it was so freaking cute when harry just chatter with the friendly boa constrictor at the zoo

#it was such a nice boa constrictor

#let harry met more nice snakes [tags via twinkie13]

[ghostclvb]

watching spy kids: island of lost dreams aka the single most ambitious and masterful piece of modern american cinema ever created

[ghostclvb]

holy shit the creature designs in this movie were NEXT FUCKING LEVEL

[ghostclvb]

spy kids 2:

me, approximately age 9:

[ghostclvb]

“do you think god stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he’s created?” is probably THE hardest line of dialogue ever spoken in the history of modern film and people regularly search google for its origin just to find out steve buscemi said it in a movie about adolescent spies from 2002

[apathetic-revenant]

you know a lot of actors find a particular niche to inhabit when it comes to their roles but you really gotta hand it to David Tennant for somehow landing the absurdly specific category of “immortals that rebelled against their oppressive and bureaucratic people because they accidentally became too fond of the human race and also have a quasi-telepathic bond with a vehicle.”

[hamotzi]

one of my final college assignments! we were given a small excerpt of The Circus of Dr. Lao to let it inspire a totally new story. i wrote a short story about a young boy and an ancient water serpent! 💧

PART ½ —> PART 2/2

[wasturbatress]

I think Ford speaks for all of us in that.

[homoerotic-ads]

[zforzelma]

You didn’t have to go to all that trouble but I appreciate the gesture.

[kvothbloodless]

Seen this screenshotted but never the actual video. Screen shots do not do it justice.

[chrispineofficial]

are u a jar-opening wlw or a takes-care-of-bugs wlw

[witchoffires-blog]

my little sister just found out at school that you can create a religion and wants me to help her turn Halloween into a year long religion. And i  never knew i wanted this until now. We will be the Halloween Cult. I am so ready for this.

[witchoffires-blog]

My sister came up with some cult rules.

Do not deny the spooky.

Be nice to children.

Don’t be pressuring others into the religion, if they don’t want to hear leave them alone.

Every second Wednesday of each month is Pumpkin Worship, that is when you eat pumpkin flavored things, carve pumpkins, or burn pumpkin spice scented candles. Just embrace the pumpkin.

Don’t be mean to other people for reasons they can’t control, but hey if they are doing it on purpose just to annoy you, destroy them.

No touch other people if they don’t want you to, this includes hair.

Halloween is a holy day, embrace it and become one with the spooky.

Costumes are an everyday thing, but sometimes it can be inappropriate, be aware of when to embrace the spooky and when to just be a little spooky.

Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t be spooky, and if they do tell you then they don’t know what they’re talking about. You can be all the spooky all you want.

Be nice to animals.

Be ready to help others when you can but still remember that you need to put your needs first.

You are spooky, you are amazing, you are fabulous. Say it.

idk but i think we need more, go ask you internet nerd friends.

can yall think of anything else?

[witchoffires-blog]

OKay i asked her how one would join the cult and she said to light a jack-o-lantern on a full moon then yodel into the night for the pumpkin king and if he approves you, you will hear someone yell “stut the fuck up” then you are part of the cult.

have fun yodeling my friends

[skygenders]

Fox news just @ me next time

[violeteyedmedium]

Reblog if you are an alpha woman who are unable to love, you support alpha women who are unable to love, or you just laughed really hard at the article title

[x00-deactivated20190815]

[statecryptids]

I feel like this is a story from someone’s mythology somewhere.

[doriangray-deactivated20200523]

what would dionysus wear if he was in the modern day?

[deadpanwalking]

[girlbossjodiarias]

#needless to say this is a pussy out look

[polarizeglow]

only americans know the true pain of hearing this

[ankle-beez]

Imagine kid you watching your favorite kids’ network. It goes to commercial. Every single time it cuts to commercial this whole thing plays in its entirety. You’ve seen it so much you know every word, every piece of music, all the words and the exact entonation in which they say it

That’s hell. Having the Shirley temple little darling dvd collection commercial permanently ingrained in your brain.

[misscokebottleglasses-deactivat]

it has been many years since i have seen this commercial, and i can recite it word for word. op, what have you done

[ronandhermy]

it is so strange to me when people tell me they never had an ancient egyptian phase…like, what did you even do during your childhood? 

[hip-hip-bourree-deactivated2021]

this is oddly specific?? and over 3000 people relate???

[odin-n-out]

That egyptology book was too golden and shiny to resist

[spoookyscary]

After succumbing to a fever of some sort in 1705, Irish woman Margorie McCall was hastily buried to prevent the spread of whatever had done her in. Margorie was buried with a valuable ring, which her husband had been unable to remove due to swelling. This made her an even better target for body snatchers, who could cash in on both the corpse and the ring.

The evening after Margorie was buried, before the soil had even settled, the grave-robbers showed up and started digging. Unable to pry the ring off the finger, they decided to cut the finger off. As soon as blood was drawn, Margorie awoke from her coma, sat straight up and screamed.

The fate of the grave-robbers remains unknown. One story says the men dropped dead on the spot, while another claims they fled and never returned to their chosen profession.

Margorie climbed out of the hole and made her way back to her home.

Her husband John, a doctor, was at home with the children when he heard a knock at the door. He told the children, “If your mother were still alive, I’d swear that was her knock.”

When he opened the door to find his wife standing there, dressed in her burial clothes, blood dripping from her finger but very much alive, he dropped dead to the floor. He was buried in the plot Margorie had vacated.

Margorie went on to re-marry and have several children. When she did finally die, she was returned to Shankill Cemetery in Lurgan, Ireland, where her gravestone still stands. It bears the inscription “Lived Once, Buried Twice.”

[lindeloffspring]

what did i just read

[harokissmile]

Irish women are strong as fuck

[lord-kitschener]

“I lived, bitch” irl

[lassoway]

hot take: jake peralta is bi and john mulaney plays his ex boyfriend from high school in season six of brooklyn nine-nine

[thegoodjanet-deactive]

john mulaney plays a rockin’ twink

[aro-as-in-straight-as-a]

John Mulaney: *to himself* What would Leonard Bernstein do?

Captain Holt: *to Jake, quietly* I support your and Amy’s relationship with my whole heart but why on earth would you give up a man like that

[stillisee]

I don’t even go here (just like… my toes) and I want this, specifically with all these tages from @bosstoaster

#The episode would be Amy getting jealous not of John and Jake but that he has so many interests in common with Holt#So she spends the whole time trying to win back the Captain#Meanwhile Rosa is on a warpath at Jake#Because she told HIM about her sexuality and stuff and had EMOTIONS#And he didn’t tell HER#How DARE he

[hollowboobtheory]

“look, it’s not like i hid anything, it just never came up!” 

“You called yourself out for ‘straighsplaining’“ 

the whole bi thing goes completely over charles’ head and he keeps getting really aggro like “oh you and jake were real close huh?? too bad, sucker jake is MY best friend!” 

everybody else is like “charles no” 

at the end john mulaney turns out to be the embezzler they’ve been looking for

[man-door-hand-hook-car-doorsblog]

But John was in his room all night. You can feel his tv, its still warm.