being anti ai is making me feel like in going insane. "you asked for thoughts about your characters backstory and i put it into chat gpt for ideas". studies have proven its making people dumber. "i asked ai to generate this meal plan". its causing water shortages where its data centers are built. "ill generate some pictures for the dnd campaign". its spreading misinformation. "meta, generate an image of this guy doing something stupid". its trained off stolen images, writing, video, audio. "i was talking with my snapchat ai-" theres no way to verify what its doing with the information it collects. "youtube is impletmenting ai based age verification". my work has an entire graphics media department and has still put ai generated motivational posters up everywhere. ai playlists. ai facial verification. google ai microsoft ai meta ai snapchat ai. everyone treats it as a novelty. every treats it as a mandatory part of life. am i the only one who sees it? am i paranoid? am i going insane? jesus fucking christ. if i have to hear one more "well at least-" "but it does-" "but you can-" im about to lose it. i shouldnt have to jump through hoops to avoid the evil machine. have you no principles? no goddamn spine? am i the weird one here?
why must we be cursed to have stomach flus? pretty sure i got it at the museum this weekend, or on the train to the museum bc there was (obviously) a lot of people, and many were children who are walking petri dishes (not a knock against them, it is what it is) and thats the only other time ive been around a lot of people this week besides work, and most of my coworkers have been masking bc a respiratory thing has been going around my workplace. idk im suffering thankfully my husband woke up when i climbed out of bed to die on the toilet and made me an electrolyte drink lol
I had this idea i had to write before goinh to sleep ok. idk thought this was cute!
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anyone who saw you two together would assume ren never paid attention to you. tired eyes focused on the screen in his hand, your existence all but ignored- save for your fingers being laced together or one of you having an arm around the other.
they would pity you, assuming you to be another person with a partner who doesn't deserve them.
people asked if you were happy, if ren was a good boyfriend.
your answer was always an easy "yes."
they didn't experience the time he had shown up with your favorite snacks. you had never told him, this being fairly early in your dating.
they didn't know that he had picked up on your nervous nail biting- something you only did when the nerves were too much. they didn't know how gently his hands would pull yours away from your mouth, telling you to cut it out.
they didn't know know how he'd bought you your favorite authors new book- him mumbling with flaming cheeks that he noticed you reading their books a lot.
sure, ren was absolutely addicted to his phone, but that didn't mean he wasn't paying attention.
hell, he even knew that you always double knot your shoes- a habit you had never noticed until he brought it up, finally sick of someone making a joke about him not paying attention.
he glared at the guy, before saying, "and she always tucks her hair behind ear when she's focused. do you know how your boyfriend ties his shoes, or what side of their mouth they always start brushing on? no? okay, maybe pay more attention."
the girl was left stammering while you rolled your eyes, well aware that your boyfriend was highly perceptive, always anticipating you, considering you in things you had never realized he noticed until he revealed it.
You can also TEXT "START" to 678-678 or go to their website! There are 700+ of you following me. You don't need to be from the US to reblog this. Reblog.
Can I just say something honestly and very seriously to all you writers?
With the Internet going down the "nothing adult, no death, no nothing. Make it kid friendly" route,
Please don't ever stop making art or writing wips that are gruesome, horror, other things like that. Don't let the Internet sanitize how you wanna tell a story. Channel your rage into your art and keep going and don't give up
"Did you know people are getting scared when they read your horror stories?? Did you know that people are laughing when they read your comedy stories?? Isn't that gross? Aren't you scandalised??"
hysterectomy should be an informed consent procedure full stop. it should be illegal to deny someone a hysterectomy based on their age or based on them not having kids or based on their spouse/partner not signing off on it. anyone over 18 should be allowed to make that decision.
an: my husband and i just got back from a pride event (Happy Pride everyone! i'm queer/genderfluid, my husband is genderfluid/pan, this is a safe place for everyone) and it was fun but i am exhausted lol. so it is wind down and write time!
tw: i just love the idea of a cute study date w jiro💛
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the day was warm, sun shining brilliantly. leaves rustled from the gentle breeze, tree shielding you and jiro in the shade.
you had laid out a blanket, weighed down by the textbooks you were frowning over. you two had decided to study together, you having difficulty in your anomalous maladies class. it had been nervewracking to ask him for help, scared he'd deny you because of yuri, or think less of you.
he'd accepted immediately, offering a small smile at your request.
jiro found smiles easy with you.
now, you were outside, you finding the distracting cold of the lab too distracting.
"why are you glaring at the book?" jiro's voice caused you to jerk, snapping out of your irritated reverie. he was leaned back on the tree, holding his own book in his lap.
his violet hair fell across his eyes, the ruby of his irises holding a warmth that seemed reserved for you.
"i'm cursing whoever decided to print these pictures in black and white," you declared, a deep sigh exiting your chest, "these two rashes look damn near identical without color, i'm never gonna remember which is which."
jiro watched, expressionless as you dramatically leaned back with an exaggerated groan.
"one of them has a more triangular shape to the splotches." he held up the book, his voice was edged with amusement. it wasn't that he found your confusion funny (though he certainly did). it was the theatrics that he found entertaining.
you leaned up on your elbows, looking at the photos.
he was right.
"you're right. my hero." you quickly sat up, planting a kiss on his cheek.
you smiled as you watched his cheeks tinge pink- and in this moment you were a normal college couple. just regular people taking advantage of a perfect summers day. a life you were fighting tooth and nail to have.
"you're ridiculous," he muttered, shaking his head.
"seemed to win you over easily enough," your voice came out in a singsong note. you were smiling when he looked at you, your face shining with the adoration that he felt.
he smiled, soft, true. it turned slightly teasing.
"just a chemical reaction that happens when i'm around someone cute."
your cheeks flared red, and he smiled wider.
he didn't tell you he'd turned his phone off to ignore yuri, or that he had suggested a place yuri was unlikely to check because he was supposed to be helping him with something.
he wanted to be here, with you, enjoying the warm day, at peace beside you.
t/w: angsty as fuck, mc death, yearning. choose your fav! may do more specialized ones if ppl like this! (i was thinking of jin,tohma,yuri,jiro,ren,sho for who it fits most imo)
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i don't know why i'm writing this. online forums recommended it, said it can kickstart the healing process.
i'm skeptical, you know me. but i'm also desperate. its been months. months since you died. months since we- i- failed to save you.
guilt is a strange feeling. it twists inside you. burrows a hole from which to torment you at the quiet moments. there's so many quiet moments now.
guilt burns alongside the grief that has sank its fingers into my heart, squeezing the organ when i think of your laugh. a song id do anything to hear again, if only to sear it into my memory, play it on repeat until i could taste the sweetness of your joy.
sometimes i imagine i still taste the strawberry lip gloss that constantly coated your lips, the candied taste of you on my tongue. i close my eyes for a moment, imagining you're there, inches from my form. i reach out and you vanish, nausea rising in my throat at the memory. the sight of your lifeless body like a bolt of ice water to the warmth of the memory of your lips on mine.
i'm sorry. please forgive me. i tried. i would have done anything to save you. i should have saved you.
i saw it happen, months ago. the fear on your face as you transformed, the curse eating away who you were, replacing the softness of you with evil.
you were dead before i had time to scream. darkwick tried to talk about using your demise to study the way this curse works on the body to prevent it from happening to someone else.
they changed their mind when we all protested.
we laid you to rest months ago. yet i swear i still hear your voice over my shoulder, only for you to dissapate before i see you. blown away as if my gaze was a gust of wind.
i tried to prove that you were a ghost, still here in some way.
you're not.
my phone started ringing the other day, and for a beautiful moment i forgot. i thought it may be you, ready to tell me about something, words tumbling fast.
it wasn't.
its been months since you died. since i lost the biggest light in my life. since the world you were forced into ripped you from life, which had been bleak since.
when will i stop expecting you to call?
i miss you. and i can't help the way it hurts, the way i wish the phantom of you was real.
it never is. it is the wisp of a memory, driving me to insanity.
A/N: i had a thought abt what if jiro and mortkranken!reader were in a relationship before his coma.
T/W: angst, established relationship but he doesn't remember, fluff.
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you were luckier than most, a mantra on repeat anytime you saw him.
he had almost died, and had been in a coma. but here he was now- walking, breathing- alive.
yet you felt more helpless than before. at least when he had been in a coma you could help- you ensured the fluid flow rate was correct, his iv was patent, his hair was combed, he was clean- you took care of him, hoping he would wake up.
and then he did.
and he had no memory of you. the ruby eyes that used to twinkle with affection when they landed on you held nothing except a strange meloncholy.
it hurt.
so you avoided him when you could.
he didn't need you. yuri was taking care of him now.
of course, it was easier said then done since you assisted them in anomalous research. you tried to work when jiro and yuri were gone as much as you could. it hurt too much to see jiro, to remember what had been between you. and it angered you too much to see yuri, who treated jiro like a servant despite his appalling health.
if yuri noticed your avoidance, he didn't say anything.
what you hadn't realized is jiro had watched you earlier when you fled the lab, murmuring some choked excuse about schoolwork, refusing to look at him or yuri when they had entered.
that was awhile ago, and now you were sat in your bed, chin resting on your knees as some old show played on your tv for comfort.
you didn't know how long you had been sitting there, staring at the screen but not seeing it. time may as well have been in limbo for all your awareness of it.
your boyfriend was alive. and he had no clue who you were. he didn't remember confessing to you in the lab, how he had leaned so close that you were breathing each other in. he had no memory of how he had kissed you, soft and tender, bathed in blue light, the chill in the air forgotten as you shared heat.
but you did. you remembered the joy in his eyes when you had reciprocated his feelings, how his slightly chapped lips had pressed against yours, how his hands had settled on your waist like they belonged there. because they did.
a knock pulled you from your bittersweet memories.
joints creaking, you got to your feet, wiping tears from your cheeks.
"coming," you croaked, wincing at the hoarseness of your voice.
deep breath in, out, open the door-
jiro stood on the other side, holding your phone in his hand. staring at the lock screen.
he looked at you, taking in the deer-in-headlights expression on your face. your eyes were rimmed red, dark circles indicating your lack of sleep.
"you left this on the bench when you left earlier," he said, looking back at the lock screen.
a photo of you and him, both with wide grins, flushed cheeks. both of you looking happy. care free.
"oh, thanks." your voice was robotic, reaching out to take the device from him.
his fingers brushed yours as he handed it to you, both of you stiffening at the contact.
jiro's eyes fixed themselves on the ground.
"i asked yuri about you."
your lungs squeezed at the admission, unable to fill with air as you floundered, waves of emotion threatening to pull you under.
his eyes met yours carefully, "i know that this isn't easy for you. yuri told me we had been dating when i had my accident."
you nodded numbly, chewing the inside of your lip.
"i don't remember. i don't even-" his voice broke, and you watched as jiro swallowed, seeing how his eyes glistened, "i don't even remember myself."
"it's not your fault-" you began, but he shook his head.
"let me finish, please," jiro had been a great boyfriend. sure, he was blunt, and very stoic, but he had also been incredibly caring and attentive to you. the emotion in his voice was something you had only heard once, way back when he had confessed his feelings to you. apprehension had lined his features, scared that you would reject him and he would lose your friendship.
now, he sounded like he was choking on his helplessness. the grief of losing who he was, what he knew, who he knew.
it dawned on you then that both of you were grieving his loss, one of you was just better at hiding it.
jiro stepped forward, and you let him into the room, shutting the door carefully.
he looked around your room, seeing pictures of the two of you, you with friends, your family members, a man who looked a lot like himself but with a vastly different fashion. he closed his eyes, letting the familiar smell of you sink into him.
"if it's alright with you, i'd like to get to know you again. i think i used to love you, and i'd like to again."
tears dripped down your cheeks at his words, and you found yourself nodding before you could even think about it.
you knew that you would never miss the opportunity to be with him, and jiro knew that he would love you again.
unrelated to any of my normal posts but a psa regarding my career field bc i have had several people in the past 2 days get royally pissed at me over prices:
Veterinary Medicine employees are NOT at fault if you cannot afford treatment for your pet.
You may ask: Well, why don't you offer payment plans?
the answer? bc no one pays if we do.
It is EXPENSIVE to run a veterinary hospital.
Keeping meds in stock, supplies, having equipment (radiograph machine, anesthesia machines, our cold laser therapy machine ALONE is about $30,000, ultrasound equipment, etc) paying staff (vet tech and vet assistant cert programs range from $20k-30k AND MORE depending on location), veterinarians (vet school is vv expensive), paying utilities- it is VERY expensive to run a hospital, and we get NONE of the federal funding that human med gets.
Yes, the corporations that own most vet clinics do raise prices significantly and that is a problem. However, it is NOT the fault of your veterinary team.
It is ALSO not our fault if you got an animal when you could not afford basic care. The most common thing i see working ER is people who let their dogs get pregnant and now are pissed at the $3500-$4000 C-section estimate. Shelters offer like $50 spay and neuter, sometimes they even do free ones! yet it is OUR fault bc people didnt educate themselves before becoming responsible for another life.
Yes, owning a pet is expensive and yes, corporations jack costs.
However, that is not the fault of the veterinary team who is barely making ends meet bc we are criminally underpaid. I could make significantly more money if i changed career paths. I stay because i love my patients, and it is the most rewarding thing when they come in for a followup and are doing much better than before.
We are here because we love your animals and we want to help them, but unfortunately we live in a capitalist hellscape and it costs money to survive.
If my job decided to cut my pay to lower costs i would leave bc i have my own animals and bills to pay, and my landlord etc will not accept "good intentions" for payment.
my husband and i are watching the new final destination and then spending the rest of the day painting mini figurines and watching the other ones (we are getting into trench crusade, a table top game, and i have some dnd figures to paint). i'm also gonna be writing and hopefully posting some stuff later. being married is pretty great- esp when you are both huge nerds. mind you this man is aware that i write+read fanfic and will give me ideas for it regularly lol
AN: I listened to Dangerous by Sleep Token (the new album is a 10/10) and thought of Rui for this💜
TW: Angst and fluff (a tinge of nsfw, mainly YEARNING), has a happy ending. Rui is down bad (so are you). i imagine that the reaper curse works by reaping the soul from the body, but that mc is immune bc of her curse bc i say so
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to be unable to touch anyone else had been a profoundly isolating experience. rui often thought that many people feared being alone, being isolated. some thought it was better that way.
none of them had experienced it.
they hadn't tasted the deep ache of loneliness, the bitter desire to hold and be held by another person-
some days the weight in his chest felt too heavy, emptiness making him so light it was as if the next gust of wind would blow him away.
but he had built a shell- a fragile, desperate thing intended to seal off the need- need to be touched, feel skin against skin, to feel loved.
it had worked. his flirty persona a tremulous protection against what he could not have. was it unhealthy? definitely.
but it worked.
until he met you.
so bright, so kind, soft curves and sharp smiles. finally, rui understood what people meant when they said home was a person.
you radiated a warmth, the fear in your eyes so achingly familiar to the taste of his own, and rui found himself thinking about how it would feel to sink into your soft body- a thought quickly followed by a pang in his chest, shifting himself to be a few steps farther from you.
and when you earnestly promised to help him break his curse?
his eyes were drifting to your lips, imagining how sweet you would taste.
truly, he needed to stop. he needed to keep himself as far as possible from you. being around you felt like a dagger to the heart- he could never take the risk. would never do anything to hurt you- or in his case kill you.
he couldn't help it though. he needed you like oxygen, unable to breathe when you weren't near him.
it was a mistake. your presence made him giddy, and the harsh realizations that he could never feel your skin on his made the ground lurch beneath him.
he fought desperately to ignore his desire for you- shove it down, reinforce his shell, tuck all those emotions into a little box and throw away the key.
you were dangerous.
you flirted back with him, the reciprocation causing his ears to burn. sure, strangers who were unaware of his curse would flirt with him- never someone who knew, though.
he found himself unable to hide when he was near you- you saw through it everytime. he started turning to you when the emptiness became too much, your familiar presence filling some of the deep chasm at his core.
you'd talk about random things- things you had learned in class, the last mission you had helped with. what he coveted the most was the snippets he would get of your life from before.
the normalcy, the casualness of your words. you treated him like there was nothing different about him. your presence in his room and the cadence of your voice filling the air blanketed him, making the distance feel less overwhelming.
and when your curse weighed on you? you called him.
the man who could never pull you into his chest for comfort. who could never rub your back soothingly.
you called him.
and all at once it was drowning him. the flood of sheer affection, bittersweet love, the aching desire to strip you both bare, seeking the solid assuredness of the other person. it hurt. but it also felt right.
it felt as if this was always going to happen- that in whatever life this was going to be the outcome.
he was always going to love you.
at this point, it had been awhile since you had been assigned to Obscuary for a mission. it was only you and rui- ed had refused to accompany you and darkwick had yet to allow lyca off campus.
he watched you on the train, worrying your nail between your teeth. the mission mentioned a dangerous anomoly- one that was perfect for rui to handle.
the only time his reaper curse was useful.
the swirling lights outside highlighted your soft cheeks, and rui wondered what could have happed if you met under different circumstances. he imagined the sneaky kisses you could share in the mornings, lost among soft sheets and the haze of sleep before one of you would pad to the kitchen, the smell of coffee filling the apartment you two shared. he thought of your soft arms wrapping around his torso while he cooked, your warmth seeping into him from behind.
you two could have had a normal life.
a normal relationship.
yet here you were, on the roof of an abandoned apartment building, facing the creature.
your research into the topic had revealed rumors that this apartment building was abandoned due to a malevolent spirit.
an urban explorer had gone missing three days ago after talking about going to this building.
turns out the spirit had killed him and possessed his body.
He stood in front of you both, a broken camera afixed to his chest, limbs jerky, milky eyes fixed on you both.
The creature lurched forward with startling speed. you tried to jump out of the way, only to feel the iron grip your arm as the corpse reached out, graying flesh gripping your jacket.
"rui!" your frightened scream caused the ghouls blood to freeze in his veins as he watched it throw you.
rui shoots forward, ripping off his glove as the creature grabs him.
his hand sinks into the dead flesh, the creatures final snarl echoing before its grip went slack.
rui didn't hesitate, feet pounding into the concrete as he runs to you, gripping the roofledge with white fingertips.
your frightened expression mirrored his, fingers slipping.
"help!" you begged, and rui attempted to shove his gloves back on, until-
"rui!" your shriek caused him to react, grabbing your wrist as your fingers slid off the ledge, hauling you to safety.
and then he froze, hand flying from your wrist as if he had been burned, bile rising in his throat as he scrambled back from you.
his eyes were squeezed shut, unable to take in your lifeless form.
tears began to leak from his eyes as he realized what he had done.
choked gasps fell from his mouth, breath rapid, unable to fill his lungs.
he had fucked up more than he could have ever imagined.
he hadn't done enough to suppress his feelings, had allowed them to fester- had allowed himself the paradise of your presence. and yet, reality would always come crashing down. he would always hurt people.
he would always kill them-
"rui?" he winces at the sound of your voice, eyes cracking open, unable to prevent himself from seeking you even when he knew it was hopeless-
you were kneeling in front of him, hands up in a way like you were reaching out for him.
you were alive.
but he touched you- had felt the smoothness of your skin against his.
you meet his gaze carefully, calmly- hesitantly reaching out like you expected him to jerk away.
and then your hands cupped his cheeks, rui's eyes fluttering closed at the feeling, your thumbs gently wiping away the tears that fell from his eyes.
it had been so long since he had experienced such tenderness.
"you saved me." those words caused his eyes to open, taking in the gratitude on your face. no anger at his carelessness, at the fact that he had touched you and every one he touched died.
"y-yeah," he stammered, unable to believe it.
you were alive. and he could touch you.
he's moving before he knows it, swooping forward with one thought in mind.
how would your lips feel on his?
the answer?
heavenly.
he's sure that his tears are wetting your cheeks until he pulls away and sees that you are crying too, looking at him with such unadulterated adoration while his hands cradle your cheeks with reverence.
and just before he can form the words, you speak.
"i love you."
its the soft assuredness of your tone, no ounce of doubt in your voice. you said it like it was a fact. like it always had been.
rui knows it was a fact for him.
lips against yours, he murmurs "i love you too," and he knows he always had, even before meeting you. a part of him had been in love with you since the beginning of time, and in any life he knew he would love you.
