I am never on Twitter anymore which is where I used to share funny moments from my classroom so I am sharing them in this post instead
4th grade boy, playing with play doh: Ms winkler, can I make you a pizza?
boy: what do you want on it?
me: do you have pepperoni?
me: okay, well…what do you have?
boy: *in a conspiratorial whisper* this like. Isn’t a real pizza
4th grade boy, wearing a pink blanket on his head: do you like my new hair
me: honey you’ve never looked better
4th grade boy, showing me his stuffed penguin: is he kinda dirty?
me: a little bit, probably because you take him out for recess every day
4th grade girl: yeah he needs a laundry doctor
music teacher: since we’re learning about Black Caribbean American musicians today, we’re going to listen to a song by Rihanna called “shut up and drive”
4th grade boy: *hand shoots into the air at top speed* WE CANT SAY SHUT UP IN OUR CLASS ITS A MEAN WORD MS WINKLER SAYS SO
me: sweetie it’s Rihanna she can say whatever she wants
4th grade boy: Ms winkler when you were a kid did you play with LEGOs?
boy: *visibly relieved* okay good
4th grade boy: *faceplants directly onto cozy corner couch and does not move for several minutes*
4th grade boy, after returning from the bathroom: Ms winkler someone put a chromebook in the toilet
me: WHAT???? Are you for real or are you teasing me???
boy: no, honest, there really is
other 4th grade boy: it’s true I saw it too!!!!
me: why didn’t you tell me??
other 4th grade boy: I was scared
other boy: that’s not where Chromebooks go!!!!!!!!