Requesting assistance reconnecting with former internet friend (circa 2016)
Hiya! Sorry for slightly earnest tone (I'm a bit high lol)
There's someone who I used to be fairly close to who has been on my mind a lot lately, who I was once quite close to and who had a powerful formative role in my life in a lot of ways, but who I've realized upon my most concerted attempt to uncover a contact for them I have no idea what happened to or how to get in touch with them.
This was someone I met because they followed this tumblr blog in 2014 or 2015, back when it was a Homestuck fanblog. We initially connected when they answered some questions I had about substance use, and were fairly close online friends for several years. I believe I fell out of touch with her around 2017, or slightly before.
I want to get back in touch with her because I think about her a hell of a lot, especially recently, and I forget the context for why we sort of parted ways. I also want to know if she's okay after all this time. I'd really appreciate active help with this, unlikely much of my bullshit it's actually quite important to me I think.
I'll share a few details about this person; as you'll see these are quite identifying all together, but hopefully generic enough individually or things that iirc they were open about enough that I won't be exposing any secrets by doing so.
Went by the name "Claire" at this time
May have at one point had the tumblr url clairidryl, clairedryl, or cairydryl
Was a trans woman, I think a few years older than me so she'd now be in her 30s or 40s
I want to say (US)American in origin, but I'm not sure.
Had a history of substance addiction (I think she was open about this? Sorry if not, Claire, but that's my memory ><)
Had mental health issues including (most uniquely from my perspective) Cottard's delusion; the deluded belief or perception that one is dead, and are a walking corpse.
Was a Homestuck fan circa 2014/2015/2016 and favoured Serket avatars on social media. She followed this blog when it was a Homestuck art reblog and fan blog.
We would talk a lot about drug use and psychedelics. She tripsat me through a lot of my first drug experiences, and helped me through a few very bad times. She may also remember the time I enlisted her to help try to get me unbanned from the tipsit IRC because I had been spamming copy+pasted text there while I was on acid. We'd also talk a fair bit with me moaning about tumblr anti-shipping discourse, as this was when that was an OCD theme for me.
I think we chatted mainly via skype. I made the jump to discord and I think she mainly didn't follow, and now of course I can't access old Skype logs, all tumblr urls I can think of are not right or deactivated, I can't find any ask history on here, etc...
By the end of our friendship she may have been getting a bit sick of me, I acted out a lot and was a stressful vibe, I think she was going through a lot and I probably wasn't so much the vibe she wanted after a certain point.
That said, this was an incredibly informative dynamic in my life decade ago, and I have zero idea what happened to her or if she's still about, is okay, etc. I'd really like to find out and say hi again. Perhaps people can help me with that? Like I say I forget exactly why we stopped talking; maybe we just drifted apart then lost each other's contact details. But on the offchance she cut ties for some reason and doesn't want to talk to me, that's fine - I'd like reminding if that is the case though, plus I think it isn't.
Hey Claire if you read this: I wanna say hi, catch up, see what's been happening in our lives. You still around? Okay? I've publicly transitioned now! DM me here, or if you're not on tumblr any more, anons are fine, or (and I reveal this publicly because this is worth it to me) my discord is "blackholedc". Please only friend or message me on discord if you are Claire or can help point me to her in a tangible way. Thank you!
Oh, and on the off-chance it at all helps anyone find her, here's a excerpt of an ambient electronic music soundscape Claire once sent me, when we were talking about collaborating on some music projects. Two of these (7 and 2.5 mins respectively) were the only concrete files related to her I could find on my computer. No idea what clues people would be able to garner, but maybe you recognize the style?
Please reblog for reach and drop me any info!
annaxmalina
dededos
stormborns
