*is set down*
*explodes loudly*
*zooms past*
*flies off*
*nearly hits someone*
*spreads rapidly*
AHH AHHHH AAAHHH CALL AN AMBULANCE!?!!!
*dials 999 on phone*
999 whats your emergency?
theres a guy on fire here!! help now!!
hes on his way now, dont worry
*8 minutes later*
i am here to investigate who placed that bomb…
but theres a guy on fire!! he needs an ambulance!
oh you said “theres a man on fire”? i thought you said “someone here is a liar” so i called the detective. sorry
never mind all that, someone here is not telling the complete truth. someone placed down that bomb on purpose to kill that guy…
well who do you suspect?
the truth is… i suspect you, bystander.
*starts to form*
*gasp*
why do you suspect me??
the bomb told me…
can confirm
you traitor!! i placed you!!
im sorry, i just felt too bad for @man-who-is-now-on-fire, i couldnt keep it in any longer. its been tearing me apart. you could even say its been exploding me apart!!
*budum tshhhh*
not the time, drum kit.
anyway, youre coming with me…
*a while later, after the court trial*
the court rules you guilty!
yeah!! we ruled you guilty! yeah
We decide to give you the death sentence!! your gonna die!!
Nooooo!!!
*months later, at the funeral of that guy who burned to death…*
*plays sad music*
we gather here today to mourn the loss of @man-who-is-now-on-fire. he was probably a nice guy. pretty hot if you ask me!!
*budum tshhh*
drum kit what the fuck this is a funeral. take it fucking seriously. im not even kidding or joking around. these are the most low bar jokes too. stop this low tomfoolery.
i dont even have to say it at this point dude