I remember that, when I was young, my mother preferred birch beer. Any time we went to a grocery store or deli or pharmacy, if we tried to get root beer, she would check to see if they also had birch beer. I liked birch beer, too, in the same way you like RC Cola... it's better than not having soda. Root beer was more my speed. On the rare occasion sarsaparilla was available, that was like a pure droplet of angelic perfection that, were I a religious man, I would kneel at an altar and pray unto. It was honestly just the sweetness. I was young and my tastebuds only understood extremes, and the further up the "sweet" scale that drink goes, the more my raw and pupating senses prefer it. A simple idea I can comprehend, not an ornate palette of colors, shapes, and ideas. My mother, she adored the palette.
Decades later, I'm still ordering root beer. We have a history together. But one night my Jack in the Box comes with something unexpected. The flavor is similar, but clearly a wholly different thing. It's good, but it's not what I was anticipating. I check my order and see that I'd forgotten to specify my drink, so they gave me a Coca-Cola Ravine Rush, the just-launched new flavor exclusive to Jack in the Box. This is tasty. This is ā¢exclusiveā¢. I can only enjoy this specific flavor when I order from Jack in the Box and nowhere else because nobody else has it. This is my new go-to drink at Jack in the Box. Everywhere else, still root beer.
Months later, I order Jack in the Box and, of course, Coca-Cola Ravine Rush. It's ā¢exclusiveā¢. As I pull up to the drive-though, the cashier says "we're out of birch beer, could you pick another flavor?" I didn't order birch beer. I ordered Coca-Cola Ravine Oh My Glob is it birch beer? "Um, root beer, I guess?" Have I been ordering birch beer all this time? Have my tastebuds matured to the point that they recognize the ornate palette lacking in root beer? Are these the same colors, shapes, and ideas that my mother was experiencing when she drank birch beer when I was a kid? Am I having a moment where I am, on a deeper level, appreciating my mother through this soda that was successfully marketed to me by the closest fast food chain to my apartment?
No. The beverage description is "regular Coca-Cola with 'Hints of sweet Cherry and Vanilla Creme.'" It was just the cashier using shorthand. Isn't it? Is that birch beer is?
No. Birch beer comes from birch sap. That's different than Coca-Cola. Isn't it? What is in Coca-Cola?
Does birch beer even exist?
