Ducky Fruitbat

Retrospectives, game reviews, tech review, overthinking games and cartoons. With a hint of things that catch my eye.

[duckyfruitbat]

Asexual And Aromantic Rep

You know what an easy group to represent in the LGBT community? Well, all of them, but especially asexuals, and by extension aromantics.

Asexual and aromantic is often conflated but they are different. Simplest explanation is that asexual means no sexual attraction, and aromantic means no romantic attraction. It is entirely possibly to be the most lustful person in any given room without the desire for anything too romantic, like premarital hand holding.

As far as asexual rep goes, some pretty famous characters can be described as simply vibing.

Going all the way back to ancient Greece, we find the Goddess of the hunt, Artemis. One of the maiden goddesses and part of her story is that she has no interest in romance or sex of any kind. It wasn't until the Renaissance that artists started portraying her with Orion. A giant who would join in on her hunts and overall great archery buddy. However, they were just that, a couple of hunting buddies. Bows before hoes.

Jughead from the Archie franchise is one of the most famous asexual characters. His one and only love is a good burger. He's perfectly content, and later on in the series, the writers finally learned that asexuality was a thing and realized, "Oh heck, that's just Jughead!"

In more recent times, there's Alister from Hazbin Hotel. He doesn't know there's even a word to describe him. Rosie does and even uses it to describe him. Al doesn't really care about romance and much prefers the thrill of the most dangerous game. He's also like Jughead in that he's more interested in a good meal. The main difference being if the meal had a personality or not.

Continuing on with the list, we've got one of the most recognizable characters of the 21st century. Spongebob. He really does emphasize the just vibing part. He just enjoys his job, friends, hobbies, and lives a fulfilling life without a care in the world. He was never shown with a love interest, except for that patty, and he doesn't mind at all.

It's honestly hard to find bad Ace rep. The only example I can think of is that one episode of House I alluded to in the intersex post I did.

I do have to wonder how many aromantic asexuals took celebicy pledges for religious reasons and thought, "damn, this is easy, why is it even a requirement?" I mean, that's how my ace friend felt about chastity when their church encouraged members to take that pledge.

It is nice to know that, despite the words being only recently in use, the idea is something that was nailed down pretty early on. Some people just don't need anything beyond platonic bonds to be happy. Sometimes, someone can find happiness living alone with a good friend on call and a cat to take care of. Even if that cat is a snail.

[duckyfruitbat]

Intersex In History And Media

Looking at the NASA pride flag this year, I started looking at the intersex part of the design and started thinking of intersex in media and history. I also started realizing that, wow, I don't see much intersex rep in any shows or movies. I couldn't even think of a historic example either. With that train of thought, I decided to dedicate a post to the letter "I".

So what does it mean to be intersex? Intersex refers to when someone is born with physical characteristics of both male and female. This comes about because biology and development are messy. Looking at diagrams of genitals, you can see how they are cut from the same cloth. In fact, in development, all embryos start out as female, and if the right genes are activated, they can become male. That is a fact that I learned about from my high school biology teacher. She didn't use the word intersex, but she laid the groundwork for her class to understand it. Something else about being intersex, you can live your whole life being intersex. Some traits that one can develop can be so subtle that the person in question won't notice them until a doctor points them out. One way this can happen is if your chromosomes don't line up with your assigned sex. Whether it be a woman with XY chromosomes or a man with XX chromosomes, all while identifying as cis.

There is also, unfortunately, a way that intersex people are oppressed. In some states the doctor is required to "correct" the genitals of a newborn. Yes this is genital mutilation and it does more harm than good. These are often called "sex normalising". Often doctors pressure the parents into getting them done to avoid being stigmatized. An idea that makes me wonder if these doctors have heard of pants and underwear.

These surgeries also have cases of creating identity issues later down the road, where someone is "corrected" to be one gender, but identifies with another. This is one of those cases where assigned gender at birth has its most literal meaning. There is also the danger of losing feeling in the genitals as it's part of the risk of the surgery, along with fertility issues. This is why there's a push where, unless medical intervention is absolutely necessary, it needs to be left up to the person in question. There are also times when those same people come out years later as trans and find out that the surgeries they had as infants.

With all that preamble out of the way, let's get into media examples of intersex rep.

One example you might have heard about is Liane Cartman from South Park, who was originally... revealed to be Eric's mom and dad... hmmm...

Next one off the top of my head was Peter Griffin's brister...a gag character...who left Peter sexually confused in a one-off joke...

Looks like I gotta go beyond what I know here. Fandom.com is no help as it is listing non-binary and transgender characters on the intersex list. There is Ryu Asuka from Devilman Crybaby...a fallen angel...I guess that counts. There's Stevonnie from Steven Universe, a fusion character who I'm reluctant to include on this list because they are two people.

Ok, so I've been going through some lists, and a lot of them are of obscure characters in obscure franchises. Some of them include self-published web comics and novels. I did find a character named Alex from the TV medical drama House. Considering the show's history with subjects like this, *cough cough asexual episode cough*, I'm already skeptical before reading the episode summary. He apparently starts making creepy remarks to the girl in question. It is really uncomfortable.

Well, the media has failed me once more. Couldn't get a full-time job and can't find a good intersex character. How about digging through the historical records? Intersex people have been acknowledged all throughout history. In Sumerian and Greek legends, there are intersex people mixed in with the pantheons. In ancient Rome, Pliny even wrote about them and dropped the word androgyni. In Sicily, Diodorus wrote of two intersex people, Diophantus of Abae and Callon of Epidaurus. Callon was even recorded as having the first gender affirming surgery in the 2nd century BC. In the Middle Ages, caliph Ali of the Rashidun Caliphate had to resolve an inheritance dispute between five brothers, where one was intersex. He resolved it by having him take a piss and watching which hole it came out of. According to the Wikipedia page, it came out of both.

The issue of inheritance was a common problem that came up. In the early modern period, inheritance was determined by the way one's genitals leaned. Most records revolve around inheritance cases; it turns out there was a blind spot in old-time misogyny. Then there is Karl Durrge, who made a living as a research subject. Karl also transitioned to male around 1807. Turns out, transitioning was allowed by the Prussian code if the person in question was intersex. I do love the idea of the authorities putting their hands up and declaring, "This is too confusing for me, you figure this out."

Unfortunately, I can't find many examples of intersex characters. If there are any more, they're in media that have flown over my head. The ones that haven't were treated as jokes. The historical records show a plethora of intersex people just existing and living their best lives. I was surprised to see court records only acknowledging them because of inheritance. At the same time, I suppose most things didn't require them to drop their drawers to prove something. Maybe we will get better rep as time goes on, but one thing is for sure. The historical record is clear: intersex has been around for a long, long time.

[duckyfruitbat]

Marsha P. Johnson

For this Pride Month, I was thinking about getting a bit more historical with the subject. Talking about people and some myths that have queer elements or are icons in their own right. So let's kick this off by talking about the queen herself, her majesty, Marsha "Pay it no mind" Johnson.

Marsha was a trans woman and a drag queen who lived through the Stonewall era in New York City, and she is remembered very fondly by the gay community.

In the city, she was known for her advocacy in LGBT rights, as it was being debated as to whether or not it should be illegal. This was also at the same time when psychologists were working to declassify it as a mental illness. Marsha was seeing times change and was pushing for it heavily. All while she was living in abject poverty. She was, unfortunately, often homeless and struggled a lot with her own mental health, yet she persisted and managed to charm just about everyone around her. Marsha also worked for STAR House, a shelter for LGBT youth. During the AIDS crisis, she would be there in the hospital with terminally ill patients when they didn't have anyone else.

Her advocacy has been immortalized in her legacy. There is a video of her giving an impassioned speech for gay rights that is so full of emotion that she is gasping for air by the end of it.

Now, about the thing she is most known for. Legend says that she was the first one to throw a brick, kicking off the Stonewall riots that Pride month celebrates. Here's the thing: that's actually a myth, but the truth is stranger than fiction, and honestly, much more iconic.

Marsha came in almost an hour late, but she did have bricks (plural) in her purse. She proceeded to climb a lamp post and drop her purse onto a police cruiser, smashing the windshield. With her bag o' smashers, she brought a tear of pride to Carrie Nation's spirit.

Marsha has had many run-ins with the police. Being black in the 70s meant the police were not friends...same thing today too. However, because of her charm, she usually managed to get out.

She lived her life continuing her advocacy until her death. Marsha's body was found in the Hudson River on July 6, 1992. Her death is subject to conspiracy because while she was loved in her community, authorities saw her as a threat. The original autopsy ruled it a suicide, but Marsha had no history of suicidal thoughts. She had a bruise on the back of her head, so the public suspected homicide, possibly as a hate crime from either a civilian, or more likely an officer. The police force specifically had it out for her to the point where they tried to blockade her funeral procession. It failed, and her ashes were released into the Hudson River. Today, there is a bust of her image with holes intended to be decorated with flowers to recreate her iconic flower crown. It was originally a work of guerrilla art placed at Christopher Park in 2021.

Today, Marsha P. Johnson is one of the many advocates who are honored during Pride. Her advocacy is something that echoes to this day. She was part of the New York Ball culture; she did everything she could to support her community in gay rights and AIDS relief, and her actions are remembered fondly by the community. An icon for the ages is the woman that Marsha "Pay it no mind" Johnson was.

[teathattast]

[duckyfruitbat]

God, I love seeing Space Pride come back every year.

[duckyfruitbat]

Parallax: The Grandfather of Flat Earth

Some time ago, I wanted to write something on the flat-earth community. I ended up giving up on that endeavor because I was trying to figure out what the conspiracy was. As in, who would actually benefit from it? Then I found a video from Extra History on the grandfather of the movement, and now I have a new angle.

Friends, enemies, cousins that I begrudgingly tolerate at family reunions, let's talk about a man called Parallax. Parallax was a fake name for Samuel Birley Rowbotham. Rowbotham was a lot of things: a liar, a manipulator, an adulterer, a con artist, a quack, and worst of all, British.

This was a time when science was more entertainment than anything. A lot of things had yet to be formalized, like medicine, so people could give lectures without any qualifications. You could also make a good buck out of touring the country, giving these lectures. People from all walks of life tended to join these lectures because it was seen as being good for the mind.

Even with all the lack of roadblocks to these lectures, there were still accepted facts. The sky is blue, water is wet, and the Earth is round. That has been known since ancient Greece, and experiments can be done at your local marina by just watching ships sail away. It was just an accepted fact. So imagine everyone's reaction when some weird guy with a fake name rolled into town saying that the world was flat. This weird guy also happens to be a known con artist, so why not go to his lecture? The comedy club is too expensive anyway.

Yeah, the public and the media treated Parallax like a joke. The scientific community treated him more like someone who needed to be debunked. Or at least a few members did, and it resulted in the establishment of a pattern. The rest of the scientific community saw the idea of debunking the Flat Earth as a waste of time.

Now, before going into the experiments, Parallax's origin is pretty unknown. The stories that he recounted sounded like that meme that ends with everyone in the Starbucks clapping. We don't even know if he actually believed what he preached. When I called him a manipulator earlier, it was more in reference to how he would grasp onto any straw he could find in his opponents' arguments and wield them against them. Even if his argument was crumbling, which it often was.

The experiments that he did himself are fuzzy, and the details changed every time he told the story. One group of scientists decided to do an experiment with Parallax in front of a group of reporters and spectators. There was a cliff with a beach nearby. Off in the distance was a lighthouse that was just beyond the curvature of the Earth. The experiment was that if the Earth were curved, they could see most, if not the whole lighthouse, from atop the cliff, but only the lantern from the beach. This experiment took atmospheric refraction into account. Of course, Parallax declared that the whole structure would be visible from both positions. They did the experiment, and the universe was feeling mischievous that day and decided to tone down the refraction. Only half of the lantern was visible that day, and Parallax declared victory for himself, even though the results still meant that he was dead wrong. Yep, manipulative.

The results of this experiment probably sound familiar to anyone who has ever looked at flat-earth experiments. Anytime a flat earther does an experiment that isn't obviously rigged for them, it ends in the flat earth being disproven. It all started with Parallax in the 1800s.

If I were to be a betting man, I'd say he never believed in the flat earth. He was only using it to put butts into seats. That becomes very apparent to me in how he recounts experiments and his own childhood.

Today, the flat earth movement has mutated beyond what it was during Parallax's time. Are there still con men in the movement? Most likely. Do people genuinely believe it? Somehow, yes; however, for the movement to keep going, the belief system picked up on many, many other conspiracies. Things like the moon landing, the existence of Australia, and all the Antarctica stuff. There are also far too many factors involved in the modern movements conspiracy. In this age of information, Occam's Razor is the globe. One theory that cropped up in the flat earth circles to explain how ships disappear over the horizon is water mountains. How does that work? I haven't the slightest clue. I've been splashing some water all day, and my betta fish is just angry with me now.

It is funny to look back and see that the flat earth started the exact way it is seen now. That lighthouse experiment really started a great tradition in the movement. The tradition of humiliation is still going strong to this day.

[duckyfruitbat]

Tomodachi Life: Living The Dream

You know what I really need in my life right now? Hearing the word fuck through the speakers on my Nintendo Switch.

So recently, I've been playing Tomodachi Life: Living The Dream. It's a life sim of sorts, but with Miis. When I say life sim, it is in quotation marks, because Animal Crossing deserves that title more than this game. This is also the first game in the series after thirteen years of radio silence. You may remember that the first game had some controversy when everyone noticed that the "life sim" let you make real-life people, but bars you from making same sex couples. It was a weird decision to make, given the purpose of the Miis. Nintendo later announced that they would rectify that oversight if they ever made a sequel. Now we can say that they followed through.

Half my island is queer, just like my friend group. It even allows for ace and nonbinary options. Which my nonconforming ace friend found very appealing. And I can pair myself up with the man of my dreams and listen to his beautiful text-to-speech voice. All while we share a delicious meal of a dick on a platter.

Oh yeah, the customization. This game allows for an insane amount of customization. You can draw on Mii's faces to get unique marks, or just make a dinosaur man; you can draw new buildings to make cozy little cabins or a penis tower; you can also make random items, like your favorite toy or a phat doobie.

My personal favorite item I've made is the birthday cake. It's just an ass with whipped cream, sprinkles, and a candle stuck between the cheeks. It's a delicacy on my island, which I named Fuck.

You can also make the Miis say whatever you want. Yeah, there are no filters until you share your creations, and that's only allowed through local play. I guess that's the only reason why Nintendo allows anything. That way, they can put their hands up if any parents complain.

Now the downside is that hearing the miis swear gets old after a while. So you'll have to sow the seeds for more unhinged things to just happen, like the queen talking about the heat death of the universe.

I love this game; it has become the favorite shit post of my friend group. Although I regret some of my creative decisions after the first wave of kids was born on my island. No child, you can't have the phat doobie, that's a grown-up treat.

[duckyfruitbat]

Oh, hey, Star Fox is getting a remake. It's going to be a remake of the N64 version. I remember my dad was obsessed with that one when I was a baby. He'd come home from work, have dinner, play Mario Kart with us, then beat the game in a single sitting. Anyway, there have been designs released, and I gotta say, I both love and hate these designs. On the one hand, they are incredibly detailed in all that 4K Ultra HD goodness. On the other hand, they are a bit too realistic for my taste. That's just an actual fox in a bomber jacket. It doesn't help that they gave him digigrade legs. I'm so used to his plantigrade design that I can't process Fox with those dainty little things. I'll probably get it whenever I finally get a Switch 2, but the designs are something. Doesn't help that I just saw the Mario Galaxy Movie with his traditional design.

[duckyfruitbat]

Rugrats Scavenger Hunt I Guess

I saw something strange the other day. Normally, licensed games are just pumped out and forgotten. Usually, the movie tie-ins are just shovelware. Pushed out as fast as possible to get some sales in. There are a few gems that make it through the process. The SpongeBob Movie game was a genuinely solid experience, Piglet's Big Game has a cult following for its spooky atmosphere, and ET for the Atari 2600 set the stage for Nintendo to clean up all the shit everywhere. Most, however, just get forgotten. Now, imagine my surprise when I saw that old Rugrats games were getting rereleased, and I have one of those games. So, I guess I gotta talk about it now.

Rugrats Scavenger Hunt on the N64 is a game that I have. It was one of those games that I rebought a couple of years ago because the memories of it flooded my head, and it was only a couple of bucks in good condition. Then the memories started flooding back in.

Scavenger Hunt is a board game that came out on the N64. It was definitely one of those things my parents picked up because "hey, the kids like this show."

The game itself has all the original voice actors, with the backdrop of a family game night with the kids. Queue the usual imagination games the babies like to play, and that's how the game is set up.

There are three boards: the Aztec temple, the sunken pirate ship, and the Reptar candy land. Each game involves collecting the full list of items necessary to win, and the board spaces and other players will present obstacles that either hinder progress on the board, allow other players to steal pieces, or give you an advantage. Pretty straightforward; the main differences are the aesthetics and some slight gameplay changes. Beyond those minor differences, the boards work the same.

The first board is the Aztec temple. The task is to gather up all the broken idol pieces before Angelica can gather the pieces for her tattle tale tile. This one is a team effort; everyone has to work together and remember all the spots that have been explored during the sweep of each room. All while avoiding Angelica herself, especially if you have one of her pieces. My brother and I always had trouble with this level, but then again, I just gained self-awareness at the time. We always struggled to avoid Angelica and get all the pieces. I guess I didn't have object permanence either, but neither did the computer players. Often, they would understand that a certain vase has a piece in it, but don't understand that it's a duplicate, and will constantly pick it up and put it back, because you can't have two of the same thing. So that was another factor my brother was working against.

The next board is the sunken ship. The goal here is to find all the treasures needed. This time, however, Susie has jumped in to help the players with a free search around the room. This one was easier for me to understand as a kid, and it had a rock-paper-scissors mechanic for stealing items.

Reptar's Candy Land is the final board and is just a mission to collect a set amount of each candy available. It does get a bit frustrating to get to each zone to collect the candy because it is possible to get warped around the map. The thing that really stands out is the Reptar versions of the babies. They do not translate well with N64 graphics. Good god, these are ugly-ass babies.

Well, that's Rugrats Scavenger Hunt. It's by no means a bad game; it's just a Rugrats brand board game. It's perfectly serviceable for a family game night for keeping the little kids engaged. It doesn't soar above expectations; it just meets them. I came in expecting an easy-to-understand board game, and got exactly that. Not much more to say, so I guess check it out if you're looking for a 90s nostalgia board game without the hassle of many pieces.

[duckyfruitbat]

Current favorite thing about seeing Project Hail Mary fan art. Adrian is always either drawn a little bit bigger than Rocky or the size of a boulder.

[duckyfruitbat]

Rosalina: Our Favorite Space Queen

With the Mario Galaxy Movie out, Rosalina has been given a new backstory. As well as Peach (spoilers). After watching the movie, I went to a bookstore and bought a copy of Rosalina's storybook from the game, and was reminded of how she started. So why don't we take a look at that and explore Rosalina in her first appearance and speculate a bit about our glorious cosmic mother?

In the original storybook, it's never actually said that she is the little girl, but the depictions make it very clear that she is the little girl going on an adventure.

The story starts out when Rosalina meets a lost little Luma hiding in a mushroom-shaped starship. For simplicity, we'll name him Comet. Comet is missing his mama, who is somewhere out in the cosmos. They decide to repair the ship and set off together.

Their adventure takes them across the galaxy. Rosalina learns a lot about the cosmos from Comet. They explore the stars, explore comets, eventually they settle on one and build a home. Soon they came across other lumas and Rosalina started adopting them and welcoming them onto the comet. Then one day Rosalina finds her home planet and is overcome with grief. She saw her own mothers grave under the same tree where her family would have picnics, star gaze, where she would play with her brother. Her own mothers grave was such an integral part of her childhood, and now she wouldn't see her again.

In order to cheer up Rosalina, Comet transforms into the Comet Observatory. From here the rest is history. Rosalina takes her place traveling the universe and caring for the lumas until they are ready to transform and expand the universe.

Rosalina cares a lot for these pudgy little stars. Seeing them transform into planets weighs heavily on her, because it also means that she won't be able to talk to them or hear their voices. They are just planets now. The only acceptions seem to be launch stars, as those lumas always reappear and still talk.

Now a bit of theorizing from me. I know that a popular theory is that Rosalina is Peach's kid from a previous universe. However, after 100% the game, you get a special cutscene of her leaving the Gateway Galaxy. At the end of that cutscene, we see the Toad Brigades Starshroom stuck in the rocks at the south pole. It's broken down, overgrown, and rusted. In the wreckege we see a little luma that looks just like Comet. The cycle continues.

That last scene has lead to the theory that Rosalina is Peach's daughter from a previous cycle of the universe. This theory is only strengthened by the picutres in the story book. The mother looks like Peach, and Rosalina shares some features with her as well. In fact, she just looks like a more graceful space Peach. This does make her a little bit of a paradox and makes me wonder if she's named after herself like River Song.

Now onto my own little theory. I think the comet that Rosalina and Comet originally settled on before the observatory is the gateway. The book states that they built a home on it, but also, when Comet transforms, he leaves a crater. There are two big craters on the planet and three buildings. It's also an important planet to Rosalina, to the point where she has access to it on the observatory, and she even parks next to it when visiting the planet the Mushroom Kingdom is on. It's also close enough that Rosalina can easily see her home through her telescope. I see no reason why it can't be the old comet.

The more I think about it, I realise that Rosalina has to be my favourite Mario princess. I love playing as Peach any time I get the chance to outside of the regular spin-offs, but Rosalina just hits different. I love her design, I love her characterisation, and I adore her relationship with the Lumas. I wonder if we can get her own spinoff at any point soon.

[duckyfruitbat]

Princess Peach Showtime: Magical Girl Theater

You wanna know my favorite Mario character to play as besides Luigi? Well, you probably already know, based on the subject, it's Peach.

Princess Peach Toadstool of the Mushroom Kingdom is a character that I've always liked. In Smash Bros. Brawl, I've come to like how nonchalant she looks in the face of all the danger happening around her. Specifically with how she keeps her polite and cheerful demeanor, like when she offers Fox a cup of tea when he's about to fight Sheik. In other media like the movies and comics, when she's about to be kidnapped, Peach is shown as being pretty competent in fending off Bowser, and only gives in when she's put into a corner. This last part is shown in the games a couple of times. In Super Mario 3D Land, Peach is shown fighting off Bowser's minions in the postcards Mario receives. In Super Paper Mario, Peach is shown not taking anyone's shit. Yes, I chose all the fuck you options with the Francis dating sim. Now, I get to take Peach onto the stage in her latest magical girl adventure.

The story goes like this. Peach is given a flyer to a world-famous theater and decides that she wants to see a show. She and a couple of toads pack their bags and go to the theater. Right before they get to the show, the theater is attacked by a Madam Grape. A purple ghostly whatsit who takes over the theater so that she can show her ultimate tragedies, which involve kidnapping and killing the star actors in ironic ways. Yeah, she doesn't fuck around. Anyway, Peach finds Stella, who runs the theater, and the two go through the plays, setting everything right.

Gameplay-wise, it's pretty simple. It's two buttons and the joystick just as god intended. The things the buttons do change depending on the plays to fit the roles. A is always jump, but B can be swinging weapons, punch, or spin. Not much to say here, controls are easy to grasp and are pretty solid. Level design is pretty straightforward, like your typical Mario game. The goal is clear and easy to understand. It is a pretty easy game. I rarely died, and sometimes I completed the goal earlier than I should have. The bosses tended to be a bit more difficult, but once you grasp what you need to do, it all falls into place.

Visually, this game is creative and wonderful to look at. The levels are all stage productions, and it leans into it. Some of the backdrops are made to look like cardboard or even hand-painted. Props and enemies hang from wires; even Peach has some props that fit the aesthetic.

The themes of the levels are not confined to stage plays, it is more just themed around whatever show you can find. You'll find typical stage plays like a musketeer production, but also old westerns, Saturday morning superhero cartoons, figure skating, cooking shows, and there's even a boss themed around Tom and Jerry.

Then there are Peach's costumes, oh my god, the costumes. I got excited before each one was revealed because they were all amazing. Seeing Peach do her magical girl transformation sequence was always so much fun. I know some of these costumes were someone's gay or bi awakening. Looking at you, Dashing Thief! They also lacked the trademark, Toadstool pink, that you just expect from Peach. That was a breath of fresh air. Pinkalicious is always fun, but too much of it can be exhausting.

Writing-wise, it was pretty simple. Grape took the theater, time to take it back. There were a couple of comedic moments that made me chuckle. The thing that stuck with me, though, was how honorable the bosses were. Progressing through the story, Grape gains some respect for Peach. The Starla bosses see Peach as an equal, the figure skater is always moved to tears by her performance, and the baker keeps his word for the bake-off. Mario never sees anything like this during his games.

It may have lacked challenge, but it was fun. I loved seeing the plays, the costumes, and the characters that Peach encountered during this one. If fun is what you're after, then this magical girl theater is the place.

[duckyfruitbat]

Some good shots of R2

[duckyfruitbat]

Scalpers and Pokémon Cards

For this one, I want to start with someone who is directly affected, my brother. Growing up, we both had some love for Pokémon. Where my love evolved into more of a general video game love, his turned into one focused on Pokémon. He loves it even if it doesn't love him back, particularly with the games. He watches the anime, plays the games, but most importantly here, he collects the cards.

He has binders full of full arts, holos, secret rares, and cards that he just thinks are neat. For the longest time, he even kept lists and sheets of cards he needed to either complete sets or scratch a particular itch. As for the more common cards, those were for deck building, or he'd just give them away. Either friends, coworkers, or me, he had his collection and was generous with what he didn't need. His system was solid and got him a sizeable collection. Then everything changed when the scalpers attacked.

We're lucky to see even one pack on store shelves. My brother has gone so long without seeing a fresh pack that the new joke is that before checking the card section, he has to put on his clown makeup. The displays are dusty now. He can't finish any collections now.

It's not just him. At TCG tournaments, players are using older decks because it's just what they have. They can't even get the current packs. They are doing it just to sell them at a markup on eBay. So how's that going?

The scalper market for Pokémon cards is in a constant freefall. Well, no shit, it's a group of people who are trying to sell cardboard printouts like they're NFTs, except people actually want these, because they actually look nice. However, no one is paying these exorbitant prices. They're so damn high that a lot of these scalpers are lucky if they break even. Think about it. There is a whole community of collectors for these things. They have been buying these packs for years. Since the mid 90s, those foil packs have been available. These collectors know how much these packs are actually worth. They also know that a card can wildly fluctuate in price. Again, take my brother, he keeps an eye on some alt arts that he likes and wants. He really likes to pick them up when a rare card is turned common by being used to advertise a box. The ones that display a card up front. He's not alone in that either. This is a community that is actively working to not buy a single thing from the scalpers. Which is why you get situations like the TCG, where they can't even use the current version of the game.

As for the Pokémon Company, they are pissed with scalpers. Why's that? The cards are still selling. Yes, but no one can play the damn game. They're merch may be highly collectible, but they're a toy company first and foremost. A collapse in the scalper market could easily hurt them. Unless they just do what George Lucas did and just print a fuck ton of cards.

With all that said, is the scalper market even paying off for these people? Well, not really anymore. Like I said, the main demographic they're selling to knows exactly what's going on, and they're not happy. Cons are cracking down on scalpers, the eBay ads aren't selling, and the scalpers are just trying to break even. It only gets a jolt of life whenever there's a new set out, but even then, the people who actually want these are so burnt out on the scalpers that they may not even try to look for it. My brother is just waiting for the collapse so that he can get back into it. He loves Pokémon, and he loves the cards, but he is also very well aware that the value of these things is fleeting. For now, he just passes by the card section at the store in hopes of seeing a pack. Someday soon, they'll be back, just not yet.

[duckyfruitbat]

The Grandmas Sued For Piracy

In the early 2000s, we saw another anti-piracy push. You may remember that one PSA about downloading a car. There was also an attempt to actually follow through on the legal consequences. However, somewhere down the line, something fucked up. How so? The wrong people got served in a tech-heavy lawsuit accusation. What I'm saying is, here are some grandparents who got sued for piracy.

How?

In 2003, Sarah Seabury Ward in the UK was sued for piracy. Now she and her husband did have a computer, but it was a Macintosh that didn't have the right software. They didn't even have iTunes. They're not sure how this case came to them either. Luckily, once they brought this to public attention, the case was dropped, but it would not be the last time someone shat the bed in the courtroom.

Where Is It?

In 2006, Janice McBride of Brooklyn was accused of downloading Adam Sandler's movie The Longest Yard. McBride responded by saying:

"Why are they going after an old lady living in the ghetto?"

She, of course, denied the accusations before calling the movie in question garbage. The best part is that a spokesperson for the MPAA investigators admitted that there is no evidence that they even downloaded the movies, but they knew it was on her computer. It wasn't.

She Didn't Even Have A Computer

In 2005, Gertrude Walton was accused of being a pirate who goes by the name Smittenedkitten. The biggest problem with the case was that Gertrude didn't even have a computer. Her daughter even confirmed that she even actively refused to get one. Nevertheless, Gertrude was served in January, but here's the thing, by the time it got to her house, she was dead for a month. She had a long battle with an illness that ended when she was 83 years old. The case was bad enough that Gertrude's daughter, who was living with her to take care of her, was actively wondering if it was some sort of scam. The RIAA had to withdraw the case and slink away in shame.

So I know what you're thinking because I can read your minds, get therapy. How did they fuck up this bad that they sued dead people and random grandparents? Well, it's because the internet was way more anonymous back then than it is today. It is hard as hell to track any of these to real people. That information was still only held by government organizations and not data firms. Of course, they got bad information at some point, and the legal system has always been behind tech, even more so in the 2000s. A big theme with the cases above is that although many more like them were filed because of pirated software, a lot weren't even against distributors. They were towards the people who were just keeping the files for themselves. So many of the piracy sites that were used were still going strong. This is like, instead of going after the bars during prohibition, police raided Grandma's tequila stash she has under the couch cushion. I'm onto you, granny!

[duckyfruitbat]

Yahaha! You found me!

But have you found yourself?

[duckyfruitbat]

Welp, can't keep ignoring this wasp nest shoved up my ass. I'm finally talking about the Epstein files, because Jesus, allegedly fucking Christ, the man had his hands everywhere. I'm sorry about how this post is organized, that being not. I just need to get it all out of my. So try to enjoy my word vomit. Also, to play it safe, allegedly is the word of the day.

So this pedophile had a hand in creating the microtransaction hellscape that is the modern video game industry. He did not come up with the idea, but he did allegedly brainstorm with Bobby Kotick on how to capitalise further on it.

The two, however, aren't smart, so the only new thing they brought in was how to profit more from it.

Epstein also had a hand in GamerGate. Dear god, what he did was reverse any attempt to make 4-Chan into a better website. The bar was in hell; it went up one ring, and Epstein decided that was too much and threw it down two more rings. He also allegedly had Steve Bannon's ear, which eventually led to GamerGate being elevated and contributed to the current fascist breakdown of the US government. Our only saving grace here is that everyone trying to destroy our democracy is the dumbest person in their second-grade class. They just failed upwards, which is exactly what Epstein's backstory is. He failed upwards as a con man and then got all the dirt on the most powerful people in the world.

The Epstein connections do explain why things like GamerGate descended into GoonerGate. It also explains why all his alleged connections are not the sharpest light bulbs in the picnic baskets.

What gets me the most is the number of conspiracy theories that turned out to be right. The idea that the world is controlled by a cabal of child predators. Turns out that was true, and if a particular passage in the files turns out to be true, there was also cannibalism involved.

You know, as the files were being released, I was reminded of a certain character. One who was a satire of how evil the billionaire class can be. A character who was made in a time when it was believed that the upper classes' worst deeds were believed to be just an accident of doing business. A character who was given that idea, but removed the accident part. Charles Montgomery Burns. The only time that the Simpsons had him get close to things like what's laid out in the files is during the Halloween specials. This is how bad things are. I never trusted billionaires, but there was still a time when I assumed Mr. Burns was at least a joke, but no. Turns out he was the result of a good PR team.

Meanwhile, here in reality, the Epstein class ALLEGEDLY stoked the trans panic as part of a plan to push trans people into sex work to be flown to the island. It was already ironic to see that big transphobes in state governments were chasers. Now we get to see that it was all chasers at the top. That idea used to be a joke; everyone used to cope, but nope, turns out it's true.

This is one of those stories that honestly broke me a bit. We already knew why Epstein was a powerful man, but the more these files reveal, the more we realize how fucked up he made the world. We are only lucky that this is all coming up, because everyone implicated is an idiot.

[duckyfruitbat]

Popcorn Buckets!

So I saw the Mario Galaxy movie and got the chance to get my hands on a couple of popcorn buckets. Got the tin one on the left from the actual theater, and it did its job well, while also just being nice to look at. I put my plushies in it!

The one on the right is, of course, the Yoshi popcorn bucket. It is wonderfully made, it has his dino scales, I can't find a single screw anywhere on it, so it hides the hardware really well. There's just one problem, and good god am I glad that I didn't get popcorn in it.

I can just envision all sorts of popcorn kernels getting stuck in every nook and cranny on this thing. The only safe place is in the egg, but there's that big opening that I assume is supposed to hold popcorn. I both love and hate this complicated bucket. Yoshi now holds my memory cards, and never food.