we killed roachie

this is my side blog for TAZ as well as my D&D group's ocs ♡♡♡

[herbgerblin]

ok listen. what if kravitz. changed into his reaper form. like a magical girl transformation.

I’m sorry this took forever to respond i just can’t get over the idea of Kravitz doing a whole as sailor moon performance before transforming i’m

[its-a-nickname]

one day barry dissapears for months. like they know where he is and hes alive and functioning. but he hasnt left his lab in rq knows how long

lup cant even explain what hes up too. according to her he woke up from a cold sweat one night and said to himself “i can fix it” and he crawled away into his lab and hasnt been heard from since

taako tried to visit him, make sure he wasnt doing anything particularly concerning but when he walked in barry was holding what taako could have sworn was a human intestin and decided it was too much weird for him to investigate

lup brought him meals sometimes but would find him passed out covered in notes that were barely legible

one night taako kravitz and lup are sitting in their living room when they hear a bang from the lab and decide they should investigate

they see barry as a lich floating above his own body and setting it on fire. lup flips a little and says “babe what in the astral plane are you doing dont you need that” and lich barry raises a hand for her to wait. and she pauses and barry waves his hand and his burning corpse roars and is mostly ash when the fire dies

barry looks at his concerned family members and points to his now demolished body and says “never again!” and he enters a pod set up in the back of the lab already growing another barry

when he emerges as this new barry, taako asks “barold wha-“ and barry cuts him off and says “wait!” and he rushes over to a freezer putting on a pair of jeans while he does so and grabs a tub out of the freezer

his family watches as barry takes the biggest scoop of icecream he can fit in his mouth and swallows it and pauses

lup grabs a shirt sitting on a chair and brings it over to him “babe what is going on, are you okay” and barry just looks at her and says “i will be, its not done yet. this will be over in a couple hours”

they leave barry in his lab to do whatever he needs to and its a couple hours later theyre chatting in the kitchen and barry bursts out of his lab, holding a now empty tub of icecream and exclaims “IVE DONE IT” and he slams the empty tub on the ground and raises his arms in victory. taako asks “barold what in the goddamn hell are you talking about” and barry looks at his family who are so concerned for him and says “its been hours” he says calmly. “no stomach pain, no illness, no upset, not one symptom. ive rid my body of its lactose intolerance” he has a wild look in his eye “im unstoppable”

[glowbat]

can i interest you... in some.. lup... in Barry's glasses...

[roadsaltedpretzels]

True love is helping your girlfriend get yoked

I have adopted @careydraws​‘s Carey design as supreme, which is no surprise (I added my scale-freckles tho. sshh don’t tell)

(I also posted a bronze Carey version here on my twitter bc while it’s not likely to be canon it was my original hc and it still looks very good)

[roadsaltedpretzels]

@detectivejoan KNOWS WHAT’S UP 

[roadsaltedpretzels]

He had to guess her ring size somehow

here’s the Three Original Files (with links I can only hope will work) so you can see it full size when tumblr inevitably puts this through a woodchipper

[roadsaltedpretzels]

He Cold

the last episode is almost here so I’m making as many dumb jokes as possible as fast as I can. I’m in denial

Bonus: They find a compromise

[roadsaltedpretzels]

For someone who loves robots as much as I do I sure do hate drawing robots

Also maybe someday I’ll learn how to do real panel layouts instead of 8 mile scrolls of rectangular images

Here’s the three original files because tumblr is the worst

And here’s a transcript below the cut because my handwriting is Real Bad

Keep reading

[fuckilostmydice]

One of my friends made info on having the duolingo owl as your warlock patron

It’s pretty great

[scholarsscribbles]

@probablybadrpgideas look someone made the thing!!

[tflatte]

it occurred to me last night that - do we know lucretia is a wizard? is there any canon that states this?

bc, the thing is. the thing is. she learns shield of faith from merle, and that’s not a wizard spell. and i know balance doesn’t pay quite as much attention to the rules as other games, but. okay so she’s not a cleric, nothing indicates that she could be, but you know what other class could learn shield of faith?

bards.

lucretia is a lore bard and chose shield of faith as one of her magical secrets. she has expertise in deception. maybe she can play an instrument(or maybe she used to be able to, before wonderland), or maybe bards on the two sun planet work a little differently and she doesn’t use an instrument, she just uses her words.

[roachpatrol]

The Director leans forward over her desk, her face drawn and intent. “So I suppose you’re wondering why I called you three in h–”

“Actually, Madam Director,” Taako interrupts, “I’m wondering how you got this lavender tea so right.”

The Director blinks. “I simmer the lavender blossoms in a saucepan with water and honey, because I’m not a fucking barbarian. Twenty minutes, dash of vanilla, the whole thing. Anyway–”

“It’s good tea,” Merle pipes up.

“Thanks, Merle. So–” 

“Hold up, hold up. Holllld up.” Taako actually raises his hand. “How– okay, I mean, what the hell, that’s exactly how I make lavender tea, how’d you know?”

“I know everything, I’m the Director.”

“Are you spying on us?” Magnus says, suddenly interested. 

“I can, uh, no, I can’t confirm that, or, deny, that horrific breach of employer-employee confidentiality. I probably just know that stuff because of all the cool superpowers you get when you’re in charge of a secret moon-based operation.”

Merle waves his hand enthusiastically. “Hey, what’s tattooed on my butt!”

“Kenny Chesney, which I know on account of you came into my actual office with your whole entire ass hanging out.”

“It was like three quarters, max,” Magnus says. “Hey, what’s my favorite tea?”

“You think tea is for chumps.”

“I do,” Magnus says, earnestly pleased. 

“Does anyone have any non-tea related questions?”

Merle waves his hand again. “Do you know about our secret st—“

“Taped under Magnus’s bed. Yes.”

“Aw,” Magnus says to his tea. 

“For someone with such extensive woodworking proficiency, I really thought you’d have, like, a secret drawer somewhere,” the Director says thoughtfully. 

“Hey, taped under the mattress is a classic,” Taako says. 

“It’s very, mm, very college hijinks, reminiscent, very Animal House.”

“Bullshit, you never watched Animal House,” Merle says.

“I may— I might have. You don’t know.”

“Name one— name one scene! Just one! Gimme a quote!”

“I don’t have to, because I’m your boss. Can I get back to telling you about your new incredibly important mission to save the whole— basically the whole entire world, already, or do you want to waste more time playing Fantasy fucking Trivia?”

The three Reclaimers look at each other, and then Taako uses mage hand to pour himself more lavender tea. 

“What’s Merle’s favorite tea?” he asks, grinning, and the Director drops her face into her hands. 

“Chamomile,” she says, in the grave, sorrowing tones of one who must bear the unbearable, year after thankless fucking year. “He thinks it’s sexy.”

[cparvum]

i absolutely love how this is written just as the macelroys would voice it

[fistfightromantic]

this has probably done before but like.. hdbdvfjhbjhcfb

(based on this scene)

[timeforlupsopinion]

(Based off a real life thing that actually happened at a wedding I was shooting. The groom did not want to see even a glimpse of the bride before the ceremony) Kravitz, having a casual conversation with Barry: *turns around suddenly and shields his eyes* “shit, is that Taako?” Barry: “Yeah” Kravitz: “I don’t want to see him yet, I’m going over there, tell me when he’s gone-is he gone?” Barry: “he’s getting on the elevator. No he’s coming this way” Kravitz: “what!?” Barry: “I’m kidding he’s gone”

this is exactly what i was thinking but maybe ‘not seeing the partner before the wedding’ is a thing on faerun but not on the ipre’s home planet (bc you know i love those cultural differences) and so it’s a big like issue of kravitz trying to avoid taako and taako being like ?????? babe? 

and at the same time kravitz keeps almost violating one of the traditions from homeworld without realising and honestly? it’s such a stress fest. i think barry makes them sit down and talk bc they Can’t Keep Doing This

[gay80steen-moved]

there’s a groupchat titled IPRE but there’s a second groupchat called Cooler IPRE 69696969420 and it’s only got Lup, Taako, Magnus, Lucretia, and (only after they fucked) Barry. 

[bunnygirlheart]

merle got in once and was immediately banned for discord crimes

[epersonae]

altho I’m pretty sure Davenport found an invite link and has been lurking this whole time

[questbedhead]

Let’s be real. There’s like 20 different ipre discords for various combinations of the team, and literally everyone is on all of them.

[anonymousalchemist]

sigh. okay. okay. i’ll take the bait. 

IPRE: 

entire crew, technically for official discussions but actually used for memes. nobody has nicknames that match their name. current nickname roster is “everyone’s names, but on the wrong person.” 

IPRE 69696969420: 

Lup, Taako, Magnus, Lucretia, (and after blupjeans, Barry), this is the shit talking salt chat but also its the better meme group. current nickname roster is probably everyone’s names spelled badly, or like, vape references or something. 

elves??????: 

everyone but lup and taako, made for discussions of “are elves like this or are lup and taako just nuts.” all names are in elvish. 

magnuswatch: 

everyone but magnus. made for outrageous bets about “can we get magnus to eat the thing?” and just yelling when magnus always, without fail, eats the thing. 

horny on main: 

everyone. this was a groupchat that started with a joke about merle and plantfucking, for posting pictures of “particularly sexy” looking plants. immediately disbanded when merle leaned WAY too far into it. 

vapetrain420420420: 

this is a really specific headcanon i have about taako and barry building an absurdly complicated vape rig and anyway this is the 2 man discord channel they have for it. 

IPRE but sad: 

feelings quarantine chat. 

[blue-mood-blue]

I just remembered that Taako tried to hand over the Umbrastaff so Magnus could safely land after a long fall, and the Umbrastaff went “actually, fuck this” and floated back over to Taako. It’s a funny moment when an inanimate, magical object does it, but what makes it better is that Lup’s in there. Lup made a deliberate choice to let Magnus fall because nah, she was gonna stick with her brother, thanks for just handing her over to someone else Taako. Good fucking luck Magnus, you’ll probably survive, I’ve seen you fall off of higher things.

And now I’m imagining how many times Magnus probably fell off of things for the experience to go from oh no, Magnus! to there he goes again, what the fuck is he doing. 

He keeps jumping off of the Starblaster from increasingly high up just to see if he can. Everyone is yelling at him. He gets stuck in some mud once, crashes through someone’s roof another time (and that was a marvelous first impression, it took two hours to convince the locals that they weren’t invaders of some kind), and, on one memorable occasion, he landed directly on top of a dog. (The dog was fine. Magnus cried for two hours.) He jumps off of especially big rocks and strikes a pose when he lands without breaking something. For an entire year, he develops a habit of jumping off of things and onto his family to startle them.

If Magnus is going to jump off of things anyway, Lup doesn’t hesitate to knock him off the side of the ship for making the worst joke she’s ever heard. He’s still laughing at his own joke once he lands. Lucretia accidentally knocks him off of something and looks horrified until a distant “I’m okay!” echoes back up to them. Davenport swears that he didn’t mean to tilt the ship that far, and his smile is a little too wide to be called innocent.

She wants to stay with Taako and Magnus is bouncy. And Taako has never been able to tell her what to do anyway.

[thegempage]

idk if i’ve seen anyone else touch on this but like

what if necromancy

just

wasn’t illegal on the two-sunned planet? like obv on the world balance takes place in it’s a huge taboo, nuh uh, got a whole goddess’s special reaper(s) to track and take down necromancers, no one really talks about it, the actual manuals all talk about it badly…

but then. barry is a necromancer. he studied it intensely and seems incredibly comfortable with it. i’m sure all the magic users on the starblaster are familiar with it. lup and barry’s only concern about the lich ceremony was making sure that their emotional connections are complete so the ritual would go well.

now, you could chock it up to barry not caring back home or the lich ceremony being so far removed from their original normal that it didn’t cross their mind, but… it’s almost funnier to imagine barry describing the necromancy department of the ipre to kravitz (”no, we weren’t summoning demon lords or raising undead armies, kravitz, we were studying life and death!”) with the same casual air as someone talking about how nice the quad was on their college campus and then having like, lup or taako (maybe even lucretia or davenport) jump in to add details he forgot or their own little comments (”oh, that professor! i know him. i was busy over in evocation a lot but our departments overlapped a lot” “they what”)

[midnigtartist]

Let Ango say fuck

[mcgonagollygee]

there’s something really deeply delightful about angus mcdonald, a character with a scottish last name, who is most often drawn as a small black boy, who celebrates hannukah