someone write an omgcp / i'm a celebrity...get me out of here au, where jack is on the show bc he's a famous hockey player, and bitty bc he's a TV chef
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@dust-ashes-smoke
someone write an omgcp / i'm a celebrity...get me out of here au, where jack is on the show bc he's a famous hockey player, and bitty bc he's a TV chef
bitty's figure skating coach:
on the day trump became president, shitty and lardo ceremonially cut the words 'fuck the president' out of shitty's american flag jean vest, and burnt the rest of it
dolokhov and anatole
two bros, chillin in a hot tub, five feet apart cuz they’re not gay
the most iconic harry potter character is easily blaise zabini’s mother who was so beautiful she got away with murdering each of her seven husbands, all of whom had left her their fortunes when they died. by the time husband #3 died, it was probably really obvious she had a hand in their deaths and yet! four more men decided she was worth it! four more dudes decided dying was an ok sacrifice for her! lmao she is just as iconic as helen of troy, perhaps even more so
imagine an au where jack is bitty’s mentor in the hunger games, and they start off not getting on at all. jack is all harsh and distant, and bitty interprets this to mean that jack thinks he is definitely going to die and jack doesn’t care. really, jack doesn't understand bitty. when he asked him what skills he had, he said baking pie. he's too good, too kind for the games. jack is afraid of letting himself care for this boy when he could be dead in a matter of weeks, just like every other tribute he's mentored before, and it takes jack time to realise that physical strength and violence aren't the only useful assets to have. jack realises that he’s being a dick and they start to get along better.
by the time the games start, bitty has fallen for jack. he tries not to cry when they say goodbye for the last time. bitty knows he won't win. jack is as oblivious as always, but only when bitty’s in the arena and narrowly avoids death does he realise that he has feelings for him!! and he’s literally powerless and unable to help him!! he sends a note to bitty with one of the sponsor's packages telling bitty that it's an honour to know him, and that he believes in him wholeheartedly. that they'll see each other again. lardo (who is their district's escort/mentor) realises that jack likes bitty and is the best supportive bro ever. bitty is good at surviving, and even though the other competitors don’t view him as a threat he isn’t stupid. he can do this. and he does.
the first thing jack does when he sees bitty again is hold him tight, full of relief that he is alive. the following days are full if hospital appointments and media events, and they barely get a moment alone, let alone time to confess their feelings. so jack doesn’t say anything until they’re back in their home district. they spend as much time together as they can, because even if both are scared to admit how they feel, bitty finds comfort in jack’s quiet understanding, and jack is just relieved that bitty is there with him, and that he hasn't lost another tribute.
jack kisses bitty on a quiet afternoon in the kitchen of bitty's family bakery. he'd been watching him cook, which naturally developed into a flour fight, which developed into laughter, which developed into both of them freaking out because people were dead and yet they were alive and laughing, and things weren't okay but they still knew how to smile. jack told bitty that guilt was natural but that it wasn't his fault. he had to play the game or he'd be dead. they talked for hours until jack admitted that he was in love with bitty, and having to watch him in that arena was excruciating. their kiss was soft and tender, because even if they were still broken and afraid, they were alive. in the months to come, they'd meet a man called shitty who would introduce them to his friends, all intent on bringing down the capitol. but right then, knowing that they weren't alone was enough. (can someone with talent pls write this properly omg i would love you forever)
*hitting the ceiling with a broom and screaming at aphrodite* where is my gf!! where is she!! the love of my life!! where!!
which sappho poem is this
You: Valentine's Day
Me, an intellectual: Derek Malik Nurse's birthday
reblog if you’re an angry gay who wants to steal christmas
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Gansey: Has anyone seen my shirt? Button down, faded salmon color?
Blue: You mean your pink shirt?
Gansey: ...Faded salmon color?
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Kevin: Why are you naked?
Andrew: I don’t have clothes
Kevin: (opens closet)
Kevin: Andrew you have shoes, t-shirts, jackets, hi Neil, jeans…
happy 30th birthday Andrew and Aaron, u middle aged bitter fucks.
I am dying.
“I love swimming,” he said again. He was quiet for a little while. And then he said, “I love swimming — and you.”
Andrew @ Neil: you are nothing and I hate you
Nicky: Hey Neil ;)
Andrew: