Jenny Slate, Stage Fright (2019)
Ugly, Bitter, and True by Suzanne Rivecca
John Mulaney on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (2020)

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Jenny Slate, Stage Fright (2019)
Ugly, Bitter, and True by Suzanne Rivecca
John Mulaney on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (2020)
Please make a post about the story of the RMS Carpathia, because it's something that's almost beyond belief and more people should know about it.
Carpathia received Titanicâs distress signal at 12:20am, April 15th, 1912. She was 58 miles away, a distance that absolutely could not be covered in less than four hours.
(Californianâs exact position at the time isâŠcontroversial. She was close enough to have helped. By all accounts she was close enough to see Titanicâs distress rockets. Itâs uncertain to this day why her crew did not respond, or how many might not have been lost if she had been there. This is not the place for what-ifs. This is about what was done.)
Carpathiaâs Captain Rostron had, yes, rolled out of bed instantly when woken by his radio operator, ordered his ship to Titanicâs aid and confirmed the signal before he was fully dressed. The man had never in his life responded to an emergency call. His goal tonight was to make sure nobody who heard that fact would ever believe it.
All of Carpathiaâs lifeboats were swung out ready for deployment. Oil was set up to be poured off the side of the ship in case the sea turned choppy; oil would coat and calm the water near Carpathia if that happened, making it safer for lifeboats to draw up alongside her. He ordered lights to be rigged along the side of the ship so survivors could see it better, and had nets and ladders rigged along her sides ready to be dropped when they arrived, in order to let as many survivors as possible climb aboard at once.
I donât know if his making provisions for there still being survivors in the water was optimism or not. I think he knew they were never going to get there in time for that. I think he did it anyway because, god, you have to hope.
Carpathia had three dining rooms, which were immediately converted into triage and first aid stations. Each had a doctor assigned to it. Hot soup, coffee, and tea were prepared in bulk in each dining room, and blankets and warm clothes were collected to be ready to hand out. By this time, many of the passengers were awakeâprepping a ship for disaster relief isnât quietâand all of them stepped up to help, many donating their own clothes and blankets.
And then he did something I tend to refer to as diverting all power from life support.
Hereâs the thing about steamships: They run on steam. Shocking, I know; but that steam powers everything on the ship, and right now, Carpathia needed power. So Rostron turned off hot water and central heating, which bled valuable steam power, to everywhere but the dining roomsâwhich, of course, were being used to make hot drinks and receive survivors. He woke up all the engineers, all the stokers and firemen, diverted all that steam back into the engines, and asked his ship to go as fast as she possibly could. And when sheâd done that, he asked her to go faster.
I need you to understand that you simply canât push a ship very far past its top speed. Pushing that much sheer tonnage through the water becomes harder with each extra knot past the speed it was designed for. Pushing a ship past its rated speed is not only recklessâitâs difficult to maneuverâbut it puts an incredible amount of strain on the engines. Ships are not designed to exceed their top speed by even one knot. They canât do it. It canât be done.
Carpathiaâs absolute do-or-die, the-engines-canât-take-this-forever top speed was fourteen knots. Dodging icebergs, in the dark and the cold, surrounded by mist, she sustained a speed of almost seventeen and a half.
No one would have asked this of them. It wasnât expected. They were almost sixty miles away, with icebergs in their path. They had a responsibility to respond; they did not have a responsibility to do the impossible and do it well. No one would have faulted them for taking more time to confirm the severity of the issue. No one would have blamed them for a slow and cautious approach. No one but themselves.
They damn near broke the laws of physics, galloping north headlong into the dark in the desperate hope that if they could shave an hour, half an hour, five minutes off their arrival time, maybe for one more person those five minutes would make the difference. I say: three people had died by the time they were lifted from the lifeboats. For all we know, in another hour it might have been more. I say they made all the difference in the world.
This ship and her crew received a message from a location they could not hope to reach in under four hours. Just barely over three hours later, they arrived at Titanicâs last known coordinates. Half an hour after that, at 4am, they would finally find the first of the lifeboats. it would take until 8:30 in the morning for the last survivor to be brought onboard. Passengers from Carpathia universally gave up their berths, staterooms, and clothing to the survivors, assisting the crew at every turn and sitting with the sobbing rescuees to offer whatever comfort they could.
In total, 705 people of Titanicâs original 2208 were brought onto Carpathia alive. No other ship would find survivors.
At 12:20am April 15th, 1912, there was a miracle on the North Atlantic. And it happened because a group of humans, some of them strangers, many of them only passengers on a small and unimpressive steam liner, looked at each other and decided: I cannot live with myself if I do anything less.
I think the least we can do is remember them for it.
I canât begin to describe how happy and flattered and a little teary I am that this just broke 100k.
I may be the actual only human being on Tumblr with a post this popular that I not only donât regret making, but am actually HAPPY whenever I notice a surge in its circulation.Â
I never intended this to gain any traction at all (youâll notice thereâs no sources or anythingâthis was a personal ramble, prompted in good humor by a friend after I jokingly said that I wished someone would give me an excuse to cry about Carpathia on Tumblr so I could get it out of my system.) I literally expected to get, like, maybe 20 likes and a reblog, from friends, indulging me in my nonsense.
It justâŠ.means a lot to me that itâs touched so many people. I see a lot of tags to the effect of âHOW DARE YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS AND MAKE ME CRY ABOUT A BOATâ that are often really funny, but overwhelmingly the tags on this post are from people saving it for a rainy day, or remarking in a sort of quiet awe that they never even really thought about her role in the storyâand God knows I never did, I learned it by complete accident much as most of the people whoâve found this post.Â
And so many of you guys are taking strength and reassurance from the reminder not only that people are capable of amazing things together, but simply that kindness matters and that a simple, tiny act of compassion is never wasted. Iâm just really glad to have been able to do that for some folks.
If I can just add one personal note. I need to emphasize something I only touched on in the original post.
I need to emphasize that Carpathia failed.
A lot of the tags and comments have a tinge ofâŠdespair, or guilt, or wistfulness about things like this happening so rarely. Or inadequacy, or just being overwhelmed or unhappy about not being in a position to step up in a comparable way. And I want to gently bring up the fact that this is still the sinking of the Titanic.Â
They did not get there in time. They did not save the ship. It can be argued that they may not even have saved a single life; we have no way of knowing. This was still a horrific maritime disaster mired in arrogance and incompetence and a lack of care.
If the response to this story shows anything, it shows this:Â It matters that they tried.Â
Even though they got there too late, even though the ship still sank. It matters that they tried. The difference between making the best reasonable speed after confirming the seriousness of the situation, and the miracle they pulled offâit matters. It makes all the difference. Even if it made no difference at all. Not one of you read this and concluded that I was stupid for caring so much when the Titanic still sank and all those people still died.
You donât have to fix the world. Youâll likely be cold and sick and miserable and testy and scared, and unprepared, and in over your head, and entirely too small to be of any real use. It feels stupid, passing out blankets and coffee in the middle of an ice field knowing what just happened. Itâs hard to feel anything but useless when all you can do is tap a wireless transmitter and promise help that you know will come too late.
It matters that they fought for those people. It matters that they cared, and it matters that they tried. It matters that they didnât stop. If it didnât matter, you wouldnât have read this far.
#Â relatable moods
âPlease answer.â
17776 excerpts + photos i took
behind the glass: philadelphia flyers training camp | episode one
travis konecny + chirping
failure anxiety really is psychological torture
you can't bring yourself to start any task because of the possibility that you'll fail to produce anything of value and end up not only having to confront the fact that you were never capable of doing it, but that you wasted time and energy trying. but every second you don't spend working on it your brain is screaming at you that you're losing valuable time and only increasing the probability of failure.
and every success you've had in the past does nothing to reduce your anxiety, and in fact only makes it worse, because you feel like you've given other people expectations of you that are impossible to meet, since as far as you're concerned all your previous achievements are the result of chance and not your abilities and skills.
All PadmĂ© Amidalaâs costumes:
Because Padmé is the only fashion icon we need.
The Phantom Menace:
1. The âNegotiations with the Separatistsâ Dress:
2. The âQueen will not Approveâ Outfit:
3. The âSpace is Coldâ Dress:
4. The âThatâs Something I Cannot Doâ Dress:
5. The âVote of No Confidenceâ Dress:
6. The âIâve Decided to Go Back to Nabooâ Dress:
7. The âI Welcome your Helpâ Dress:
8. The âIâm Queen Amidalaâ Outfit:
9. The âPeace Victoryâ Dress:
Attack of the Clones:
10. The âCordĂ©â Outfit:
11. The âDo you Have any Idea whoâs Behind this Attack?â Dress:
12. The Coruscant White Nightgown:
13. The âRoyal Senatorâ Dress:
14. The âI Donât Like this Idea of Hidingâ Dress:
15. The âYouâve Changed So Muchâ Dress:
16. The âMeeting with the Queenâ Dress:
17. The âHeâs not my Boyfriendâ Dress:
A scene that never made it to final cut: Anakin and Padmé visit her family on Naboo.
18. The âI Love the Waterâ Dress:
19. The âYouâre Making Fun of Meâ Dress:
20. The âDinnerâ Dress:
21. The âWeâd Be Living a Lieâ Dress:
22. The âNightmareâ Nightgown:
23. The âTatooineâ Cloak:
24. The âGreek Goddessâ Outfit:
25. The âThere are Things No one Can Fixâ Dress:
26. The âIâm going to save Obi-Wanâ Outfit:Â
27. The âSecret Weddingâ Dress:
Revenge of the Sith:
28. The Poster Dress:
This look never made it to the final cut of âRevenge of the Sithâ and it was used for the poster only.Â
29. The âAni, Iâm pregnantâ Dress:
30. The âAni, I want to have our baby back home on Nabooâ Nightgown:
31. The âWe May Be on the Wrong Sideâ Dress:Â
32. The âIâm Not Going to Die in Childbirth, Aniâ Dress:
33. The âStaring out the Windowâ Dress:
34. The âAttack on the Jedi Templeâ Nightgown:
35. The âThis is How Liberty Diesâ Dress:
36. The âI donât Believe Youâ Dress:
37. The âAnakin, Youâre Breaking my Heartâ Outfit:
38. The âFuneralâ Dress:
These are works of art.
Say what you want about the prequels but they knew how to use aesthetics to give the impression of a living world and how to use gorgeous clothes.
#Team Existential Crisis
Iâm a dumb idiot who needed Hurricanes Harvey, Irma, and Maria to hit in the same month to realize Kaijus in Pacific Rim were a metaphor for climate change and hurricanes and, like, the movie isnât even subtle about it
thereâs a very long tradition in monster movies (and kaiju eiga if you wanna be specific) of monsters as allegory for natural disasters, pollution and climate change. Godzilla vs Hedorah is a really good example where the enemy is literally sentient pollution, and pacific rim does the same thing it did in taking widesweeping environmental issues and linking it DIRECTLY to the appearance of these monsters, both with the above examples and newtâs dialogue after he drifts with the kaiju brain and points out that climate change and co2 emissions means we practically terraformed our planet for these aliens to come BACK and take over. Monster movies are a LOT of different things and can be very silly and absurd but they can also be built around very serious and specific messages about the condition of our planet, and in many ways messages about human impact on the environment has been built into modern monster movies since the very beginning (looking at the impact the original âgodzillaâ had on pop culture and monster movies the world over)(its also worth noting that this probably extends into many other monster films and franchises from many other countries that i havent seen)
clichĂ© but classic trope: when the person who almost died wakes up in a hospital bed, looks around and sees the object of their affection sleeping uncomfortably in the chair next to them because they havenât moved in days.
You can pry that trope from my cold dead hands.
clichĂ© but classic sub trope of this: the person who almost died tells the object of their affection âyou look like shitâ despite the fact that they are the one in the hospital bed and almost died.
a good take
sometimes Iâm like âmy therapist doesnât really tell me anything I donât already knowâ but then I remember that I used to eat scrambled eggs every single morning because I hated them but I hated them less than I hate all other breakfast food on weekdays (donât @ me waffles are a weekend food and they Do Not start me on a productive path) and my therapist said, âwhy not eat a lunch food?â
and I said, âexplainâ
and she said, âyou know youâre allowed to eat whatever food you want in the morning. you are not bound by law to the traditional american breakfast.â
my fatherâs insurance pays a hundred dollars an hour for a woman to give me permission to eat a pb&j at six in the morningÂ
âȘSometimes he uses The Force to steal extra marshmallows.âŹ
hello here is a short story i wrote for a competition i didnât win. enjoy
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chapter 4 - 39
pillow talk
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Charlie, a highly-strung, openly gay over-thinker, and Nick, a cheerful, soft-hearted rugby player, meet at a British all-boys grammar school. Friendship blooms quickly, but could there be something more�
Nick and Charlie are characters from my debut novel, Solitaire. Heartstopper updates three times a month, on the 1st, 11th, and 21st.
I really appreciate reblogs and shares - please help me spread word about this comic! Iâm so excited for people to read it!
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âmy battery is low and itâs getting darkâ is so hauntingly human, so crushingly lonely. I canât articulate the deep, profound ache that sentence evokes. Itâs acceptance and defeat and terror and sadness all at once, all from one tiny machine we asked to explore the stars for us.