dylan

[dylaneatspants]

walking home at 12:12am

they’re drunk and i can’t make them out in the varied angles of the street lamps and headlights hitting their faces

it’s a group of three

they’re fragmented, a late Picasso painting

i feel similar to them, drunk, but different,

consumed by the night just the same

i can imagine the story of my night isn’t much different from theirs

at least it won’t be in a week or two

conversation,

laughter,

food, a night we won’t forget right?

the hallmark-esque pines and their pristine snow coating

remind me of the groundhog

that wanted my depression to stick around just an ounce longer—“don’t worry you can put on your headphones and pretend it’s summer any time of the year!”

it’s still cold

brisk i would say, but the weather is even, respectable

my ears are numb but i don’t remember unless i try to

the music in my headphones distracts me, and if it weren’t for me writing these things down,

the only reminder that the world is still spinning—that i haven’t been trapped in my mind for the rest of eternity—is a rat enabling a motion sensor light in a broken down garage

how human

it would be an exceptional job, to be the garage rat to someone’s existential thoughts

im almost home

a wheeze lingers in my airways

born from the laughter

of what is now yesterday

cough

good night

[dylaneatspants]

can straight people stop saying twink please, thank you

[dylaneatspants]

The trend that labels men as “performative” or “fake” when they engage in things typically seen as feminine is so harmful to the conversation around masculinity and gender roles.

It really doesn’t seem that deep, and usually when I see videos about it on TikTok or Instagram, I laugh because there’s some level of truth to it.

But the reality of the situation is that calling men “performative” for engaging in something feminine reinforces the idea that these activities or personality traits are not meant for them.

You can’t challenge toxic masculinity while simultaneously mocking men who try to explore things beyond it.

Part of deconstructing harmful masculinity is giving men the space to experiment with things outside of their comfort zone

Sure, it’s fair to critique someone’s intentions if they’re using “feminist” language or music taste to manipulate others (love bombing for example). But assuming that any man who steps outside traditional masculine roles is doing so performatively is reductive and unfair. Not every act of growth has to be radical or political to be real. Sometimes, a man paints his nails or drinks a matcha because it feels good, and that’s valid.

Essentially what i’m trying to say is that feminism doesn’t advance by excluding men who are trying (however imperfectly) to act differently because, by invalidating those choices, we reinforce the traditional toxic masculinity that we are working against.

I’d love to hear other peoples’ thoughts on this because I haven’t really seen anyone talk about it before.

[unsentimentaltranslator]

My thoughts are that women are getting beaten up, raped, and killed by men all the damn time but y'all pretty much never talk about that. That tells me that you wouldn't piss on me if I was on fire, yet you expect me to drop everything for your much smaller problem. Do better.

[dylaneatspants]

This sentiment that is “the performative man” uses humor to disguise an aggression that fuels the culture war between men and women. It’s an unproductive sentiment in the relation to the ultimate goal of feminism, which is to achieve gender equality by dismantling the system of rigid gender roles, otherwise known as patriarchy. (I find this definition to be the most appropriate because anyone can reinforce the system of gender roles, and it infringes on the expression of everyone under it, even if men abuse and benefit more from the abuse of it.)

I don’t mean to invalidate the pain and suffering that groups have faced under the system of patriarchal oppression, but it does take the victim and the image of their oppressor to really achieve equality.

In the same way that ethnic groups in the US needed white allies in legislation to secure their due rights, feminism also requires male allyship, and men need people to let them know that it’s okay not to be society’s traditional image of a man.

[dylaneatspants]

The trend that labels men as “performative” or “fake” when they engage in things typically seen as feminine is so harmful to the conversation around masculinity and gender roles.

It really doesn’t seem that deep, and usually when I see videos about it on TikTok or Instagram, I laugh because there’s some level of truth to it.

But the reality of the situation is that calling men “performative” for engaging in something feminine reinforces the idea that these activities or personality traits are not meant for them.

You can’t challenge toxic masculinity while simultaneously mocking men who try to explore things beyond it.

Part of deconstructing harmful masculinity is giving men the space to experiment with things outside of their comfort zone

Sure, it’s fair to critique someone’s intentions if they’re using “feminist” language or music taste to manipulate others (love bombing for example). But assuming that any man who steps outside traditional masculine roles is doing so performatively is reductive and unfair. Not every act of growth has to be radical or political to be real. Sometimes, a man paints his nails or drinks a matcha because it feels good, and that’s valid.

Essentially what i’m trying to say is that feminism doesn’t advance by excluding men who are trying (however imperfectly) to act differently because, by invalidating those choices, we reinforce the traditional toxic masculinity that we are working against.

I’d love to hear other peoples’ thoughts on this because I haven’t really seen anyone talk about it before.

[unsentimentaltranslator]

My thoughts are that women are getting beaten up, raped, and killed by men all the damn time but y'all pretty much never talk about that. That tells me that you wouldn't piss on me if I was on fire, yet you expect me to drop everything for your much smaller problem. Do better.

[dipbitch]

I’m sorry, but reading, wearing that style, being a fake leftist, and drinking matcha isn’t feminine. We’re judging them for wannabe nonchalant metrosexuals

[dylaneatspants]

I think we might be talking past each other a bit. My post wasn’t about assigning certain behaviors or preferences (like drinking matcha or reading) as inherently feminine. It was about how people often associate those things with femininity or with “nontraditional masculinity,” and then mock men for participating in them. That mockery ends up reinforcing rigid gender norms, whether intentionally or not.

Also, I don’t really understand why being a “metrosexual” or even a “wannabe metrosexual” is inherently something to judge. If a man cares about his appearance, has a skincare routine, listens to Mitski, or likes fashion, why is that seen as fake or worthy of ridicule? Wanting to explore different styles or ways of expressing yourself shouldn’t automatically be read as inauthentic.

If we’re criticizing people for being manipulative or for adopting a certain look to gain attention, then that’s about behavior, not aesthetic or gender performance. But lumping all of it under “fake leftist” or “wannabe” assumes you can read someone's intent from the outside, and that’s a pretty shaky foundation for critique.

What’s actually wrong with wanting to present in a metrosexual way? Why is that something people are so quick to label and dismiss?

[dylaneatspants]

The trend that labels men as “performative” or “fake” when they engage in things typically seen as feminine is so harmful to the conversation around masculinity and gender roles.

It really doesn’t seem that deep, and usually when I see videos about it on TikTok or Instagram, I laugh because there’s some level of truth to it.

But the reality of the situation is that calling men “performative” for engaging in something feminine reinforces the idea that these activities or personality traits are not meant for them.

You can’t challenge toxic masculinity while simultaneously mocking men who try to explore things beyond it.

Part of deconstructing harmful masculinity is giving men the space to experiment with things outside of their comfort zone

Sure, it’s fair to critique someone’s intentions if they’re using “feminist” language or music taste to manipulate others (love bombing for example). But assuming that any man who steps outside traditional masculine roles is doing so performatively is reductive and unfair. Not every act of growth has to be radical or political to be real. Sometimes, a man paints his nails or drinks a matcha because it feels good, and that’s valid.

Essentially what i’m trying to say is that feminism doesn’t advance by excluding men who are trying (however imperfectly) to act differently because, by invalidating those choices, we reinforce the traditional toxic masculinity that we are working against.

I’d love to hear other peoples’ thoughts on this because I haven’t really seen anyone talk about it before.

[wetheurban]

Be the reason someone feels safe, seen, and supported.

[pansyfemme]

was going through some of my health records and some doctor put “dresses oddly” next to my psychotic symptoms. hey fuck you too man

[progressivemillennial]

[hetrosjistin]

The sad thing is that this should be a satire thing but it really isn't.

The democratic party leadership isn't actually filled with 5th column conservatives. But what it is filled with is people who have been patholigically conditioned to find compromise at every step.

They've been convinced, since JFK got his dome popped, that the only way to do business is to court the right because the Left has no choice but them, and because young leftists just won't turn out to vote.

That's obviously not the case, or if it was, it was because they screwed the pooch every time.

So they can't really conceive that energizing your voting base by offering actual policy changes and pushing for things that aren't compromises with a group of extremeists who make up barely an 8th of the nation but have gerrymandered their way into power is the answer.

Edit: Wow a lot of people are reblogging this, but I think I do a better job of explaining all of this in a follow up post!

Reblog by @hetrosjistin · 1 image

💬 74  🔁 8785  ❤️ 12699 · no, all this bullshit because they got scared when jfk exploded and then they backed another leftist candidate (dep