world's okayest mom

graphic designer, aspiring politico, and second-rate hack that schmuck who went to college and improbably got more gay(she/her/hers)

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[jiluan-deactivated20171207]

i’m sorry picsthatmakeyougohmm but this pic made me go hell yea babey elvis presley

[8bitgirl]

picsthatmakeyougohellyeababeyelvispresley

[beeth0ven]

my mom is a well intentioned yet nosy mom and she always wants to hook me up with people. it leads to some text message gems so the other day i went through and screenshotted the best. please enjoy.

[wahbegan]

“I either just met a nice gay girl or a bigot” is bar none the absolute best text anyone has ever sent in the history of the human race nosy mom accidentally sums up the entire debate about the word q*eer in one historic text message it’s indescribably beautiful

[i-will-follow-the-sun]

Meet the dog who plays Cheddar on 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'

Stewart, the 11-year old corgi, is a fan of food, not work

Greatest article I’ve ever read.

[the99noice-deactivated20190110]

i wouldn’t want to meet anyone else

[redwinerozanova]

[jedijenkins]

THE GOODEST COMEDIAN

[sarcasticghoul]

me: wakes up

me: ahh what a lovely day

me literally ten minutes later: i have no future and will never be able to pursue my dreams

[butchgender-remade-deactivated2]

the three universal truths: we live in a society, women be shopping, men get pegged

[bahrains]

it’s so difficult not being able to use milennial humor in a corporate setting. like i made a mistake today and i wanted to tell my supervisor it’s because i suffer from Dumb Bitch Disease, but do you think that would fly?? fuck no. i gotta say shit like, “sorry for the misunderstanding!” i can’t wait till the workforce is made up entirely of millennials and i can say “sorry i drank idiot juice for breakfast this morning” and my coworkers will be like “oh worm.”

[becughmitchell]

brooklyn nine-nine season 6 airs on NBC january 10th, 2019

[elephantsshoe-blog]

[licensehaver-deactivated2025061]

*sees one cop drive by* damn. way too many cops out today

[biologybutch]

im so thirsty for irl butch interaction. what do i need to do? stand in the middle of a hipster café and proclaim that the carabiner for my keys have broken, to have fifteen timberland-clad ladies come to my aid with their spares?

[biologybutch]

WEEKS after posting this i went to a half week butch camp and made friends for life. Reblog this post for luck to gain irl butch interaction

[seriesymovies]

MEN IN BLACK: INTERNATIONAL - Official Trailer

[tenderlesbian-deactivated201807]

SOS I told the girl I like that I want a butch gf and she said "I'm butch" and I got really flustered and went to go make dinner for us (bc I'm at her place tonight)

uhh are you sure y’all arent on a date right now?

[tenderlesbian-deactivated201807]

i don’t even know what to say

[closet-keys]

This is the most lesbian thing I’ve ever read

[mollymerula]

do you think there was like…discourse about Jane Austen novels when they first came out

[mollymerula]

ladies’ weekly tea and reading club: welcome to the meeting. we have exiled Charlotte because she stans Mr. Wickham

[pea-green]

the real lie about who gives kids presents at christmas isn’t that they’re from santa (bc everyone over the age of 10 knows that), it’s that they’re from mum ‘and dad’ because 90% of fathers see taking an interest in their kids’ likes and hobbies, let alone actually planning and shopping for things that are ‘from’ them, as something they can opt out of (and nobody talks about it!!!!!!!)

[reaj3asa]

@pea-green hey look, more fuel for your rage

[marisatomay]

a woman came into my place of employ a couple weeks ago on the first night of Hanukkah to buy her kids gifts which was perfectly reasonable until she mentioned that she wasn’t even Jewish or celebrating the holiday this year

the gifts were for her EX HUSBAND to give to their children because she knew he didn’t remember to get them anything and she didn’t want her kids to be crushed just because their dad is an incompetent jackass who still relies on the woman he left to buy hundreds of dollars that he will never pay her back for of gifts for his kids for a holiday she doesn’t celebrate

they were literally divorced and he was still such a burden on her I wanted to scream

[hyrude]

for the record: i wrote 10k of indepth introspective character analysis turned personal projection fanfiction about francis from malcolm in the middle, never posted it anywhere, then changed all the names and submitted it for an lgbt essay scholarship as a dissertation on internalized homophobia’s psychological impact into adulthood and won $1000 so. first of all, follow your dreams, second of all, francis from malcolm in the middle is fucking gay

[discreet45]

[macperalta]

b99 characters alignment chart: Charles Boyle