[thebootydiaries]

summer: *ends*

me: this is halloween THIs is halloween haLLOWEEN HALLOWEEN hallooween haLLOweeenn

[smokingroom1]

[drunp-archive-deactivated201711]

[nicollekidman]

natalie portman radiates such a terrifying energy i can’t describe it….. it’s not exactly evil but it’s not warm either…. i feel like she could unhinge her jaw and drag me into the ocean like a kraken but she wouldn’t bc it’s undignified 

[dancinginthesetrees]

Wanna know why?

“Oscar-winning actress Natalie Portman told the crowd at Saturday’s Women’s March in downtown Los Angeles that she experienced what she calls “sexual terrorism” as a 13-year-old after the release of the film The Professional.

Portman described her pride and excitement in releasing the film, only to encounter sexually explicit messages both directed toward her and made about her.

”I excitedly opened my first fan mail to read a rape fantasy that a man had written me,” she recalled. “A countdown was started on my local radio show to my 18th birthday, euphemistically the date that I would be legal to sleep with. Movie reviewers talked about my budding breasts in reviews.”

The experience, she said, changed the way she expressed herself publicly, in order to limit the ways she could be objectified by others.

”I understood very quickly, even as a 13-year-old, that if I were to express myself sexually, I would feel unsafe,” she said. “And that men would feel entitled to discuss and objectify my body to my great discomfort. So I quickly adjusted my behavior. I rejected any role that even had a kissing scene and talked about that choice deliberately in interviews. I emphasized how bookish I was and how serious I was. And I cultivated an elegant way of dressing. I built a reputation for basically being prudish, conservative, nerdy, serious, in an attempt to feel that my body was safe and that my voice would be listened to.”

Video of the speech here: https://www.vox.com/2018/1/21/16917130/natalie-portman-womens-march

[shaelit]

I support Natalie Portman unhinging her jaw and dragging every last man who made her feel this way into the deep like a kraken.

[bigspender]

someone: *sends kinda short replies* me: that’s it. the friendship is over. they hate me. we can never speak again. the end is here

[transhuman-priestess]

[doyoung-moved-deactivated201809]

[pistachiozombie]

thanks

[earningfitness]

My girlfriend: *studiously doing her accounting homework, listening to instrumental music, very focused*

Me: *upside down in my desk chair* do you think stars have feelings

[miseducatedmelanicmuse]

We cause much of our own suffering.

[earthshaker1217]

This is also what happens when we’re not forgiving.

[diorina]

[stardustschild]

Me to my anxiety : can u like calm down these people don’t even think about you Depression : ever Me: that’s not what I meant

[umameva]

the loveliest meowing of them all

[thatll-do]

A BABY

[homunculus-argument]

[a wonderful milkmaiden]: Mrrmeow? [the milkmaiden]: Mrrpmeow? [an entity of the shadow]: (emerges from the shade) [the delightful maiden]:Mrrp? [the entity] ]: (bravely breaks the boundary of the shadow, bravely impeaches it and passes the border of the realm of light in order to be joined with the brave milkmaiden.) [the entity]: (A high-pitched “mmrp!” of delight) [the wonderful milkmaiden]: (She decides that this footage is sufficient. The camera man is instantly murdered upon impact.)

[naamahdarling]

this is the best transcript of anything I have ever seen, period.

[lagonegirl]

We don’t even need a disney remake of Mulan. Look at this.

I would totally watch more Disney reboots if children from the actual ethnicities were cast in those movies.

[cosmic-noir]

Oh my gooooosh this is so cute!!!

[holy-punks]

My favourite translator said that when she was an ambassador for Hungary she took all these Japanese politicians on a tour and she was trying to circumtranslate ‘merry go round’ cause she didn’t know the Japanese word for it by calling it a ‘horse tornado for children’ and they had no blessed idea what she was saying and she finally started running in circles going up and down and they go ‘ohhhhh, in Japan we call those ‘merry-go-rounds’”

[writtenrain]

Shit I’ve Heard High Schoolers Say

Why stop at capitalism? Destroy everything.

Guys it’s been three weeks since I’ve eaten a vegetable

At least we have memes to dull the pain of existence

An AP student: Oh my god I thought seven was less than six 

(while filling the cap of their water bottle with water) SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS 

friend one: If all your friends jumped off a bridge wou- friend two: probably

I’M GONNA GO HOME AND DRINK A WHOLE GLASS OF WEED

If cows ruled the world would they drink human milk?

student: my calculator is broken teacher: your calculator isn’t broken, you’re broken

no actually I think you have to be of age to be considered a cougar

(during math class on the second floor) student 1: so like how far do you think the distance is from that window to the ground?   student 2: enough

teacher: has anyone ever been to New Orleans? Student: does Popeyes count?

my word count on this paper isn’t very high but I certainly am

we’re in adult limbo. I’m not a teen and I’m not an adult. I’M SUFFERING, THAT’S WHAT I AM!

Look at my… (swings leg up to show shorts) not pants

[swarnpert]

male country artists: i love my truck and my beers

female country artists: i am going to kill my husband