The great work is knowing that the fight for survival is what it takes for life to exist. At least on this planet. All the souls in your life are apart of your survival kit. They are the solution to your problems and you are the solution to theirs. That’s what we call oneness. The unspoken language that connects us all. It is unspoken as it does not consist of words and cannot be communicated solely with words. It relies on a deeper substance to give it weight. This substance is what creates gravity in the first place. It the thing that’s “bigger” than all of us. It’s the thing one can tap into whenever we wish to choose.Â
Recently I met up with a person, I’ve hated for a long time and could see what I hate about myself. I wished it away like it has no purpose. Like it’s a beggar on the street asking for money. Like an intrusive thought trying to get my attention. And then I started seeing.
In every person around me. I saw it in my friends desperately trying to keep their relationships afloat. I saw it in my partner, desperately hanging on to a belief that protected him. I saw it in my child who cannot rest in my arms. I saw it in myself, constantly trying to think my way through life. I hurt my partner really badly and couldn’t help him. I could not hold his heart because my mind could not make sense of his feelings. I thought if I tried too hard, he would hate me like the previous person.Â
When I was a baby my father pinched me until I cried when he didn’t want to hold me anymore. My mother wanted me to be the best baby of all the babies in her mom’s group. Now that I understand this, I can see more clearly the shadow I cast. A discomfort with myself for not being superior to others. A deep sense of not being wanted. This sent me on a quest to be superior and wanted. The only true thing we want is love. And there are infinite ways to pursue it. My mind was structured to be superior and wanted. That structure had to shatter and with it my heart.Â
That part of me that looks in the mirror, hoping to see beauty. The one who cares too much what others think hoping to be wanted. The girl who could never be good enough if she’s not better than others. Is dying.
Every day she fights for survival. She wants to be true just like everything else. But I am true.  My survival is more important. I have people who show me true love now. I feel the bliss euphoria of love more strongly than ever before. This is the substance.Â
Delusion is beautiful, yet chaotic if not balanced with Truth.Â
Hate is powerful, yet empty if not converted to Love.
The past is over, yet repeats itself if not confronted with Grace.Â
This is what I’ve learned from every soul that I’ve encountered in the fight for survival.
In doing the great work, my soul gets to live forever.
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