Bee

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊| aroace | any pronouns | ✨🐝🦡🦝🌞|

[saym0-0]

another teacher grace moment i love is when rocky gives him the oxygen model he goes 'i dont have one of these thank you!' like that is THE most teacher response ever when a child gives them something utterly incomprehensible but made with love

[thepeculiarmrrat]

[occasionalauthoring]

*bone deep sigh* why can't I just let ideas go

Okay!

Harvey feels the ground shake and snarls, storming to the door of his base and throwing it open. "Oi!" Harley glances over at him, hanging from one of her girlfriend's vines one-handed, and waves. "Destroy the city somewhere else, I'm busy here!" Harley pretends not to hear him and swings off, soaring though the air, mallet aimed for Batman, and Harvey rolls his eyes, slamming his way back into his warehouse.

The two of them might be leaning more towards anti-heroes now, but the Rogue in them runs deep, and Harvey knows he'll just have to power through with his work, because they won't be stopping any time soon.

Half an hour later, Harvey lifts his head, listening closely. He's not imagining it, he decides, pushing back slowly from his chair and grabbing a gun. There's no noise outside. No cackle, no rumble of veins pushing up concrete, no whirr of a grapple, no sirens.

Harvey takes the side door this time, and sneaks out. Out here, the silence is even more ominous, and he keeps his gun lifted as he creeps out onto the street. Plants are strewn across the street, some crawl across the road, others over buildings, some lay mutilated in the path, clearly having encountered the the Bat and his batarangs.

Harvey maintains it's a stupid damn name. Batarangs.

There's no sign of Harley, Ivy, or Batman, and Harvey can feel the familiar prickly sensation at the base of his spine that something is wrong.

"I don't fucking know, Harls!"

Harvey snaps his head upwards, and groans under his breath. He slips back into his building, and quickly makes his way to the roof. He slips onto it through the second, hidden entrance and stops dead at what he sees.

Batman lays splayed on the roof, unconscious, with Ivy and Harley kneeling over him. With the entire roof reeking of heat scent.

Two-Face cocks his guns and steps into sight, levelling a muzzle at each of them. "Step away from da Bat. Now." Both freeze, and Ivy growls at him, an alpha challenge that gets his hackles up.

"You think we're going to hand him over to you to have your way with him?" Harley growls, the pissed-off sound coming from a beta rankling his instincts, alerting him he's in danger.

Two-Face doesn't react beyond tilting his head. "Which one of us has a rap for sexual crimes, huh? What pollen d'ya use on him, Ives?" His tone may be light, but the undercurrent of threat is not hidden, and Ivy flinches slightly.

"You know I don't use those pollens anymore, Harvey."

"Harvey's a naïve fucker. I don't trust you."

"It wasn't us," Harley soothes, sliding an arm around her alpha's waist. "We were fighting, and he just hit the deck. We didn't even hit him. The smell's pretty hard to miss, so we brought him up here so no one could smell him, and we could find one of his Robins."

Two-Face holsters his guns and hurries forward, glaring when Ivy makes to stop him. "They can't help." He drops to his knees next to Bruce and moves his head into his lap, hand glancing over the cowl. The little part of his face visible is pale and shining with sweat, and it's only going to get worse.

"Well they can sure do more than we can," Harley hisses, crouching next to him, and Two-Face shakes his head again.

Cautiously, he studies both of them. "If I told you his identity, can I trust you not to use it against him?"

Both freeze, and Ivy narrows her eyes. "You know who the Bat is?"

"Some of us do. We ain't gonna fuck it up for ourselves by giving him no reason to stick to the constraints of a secret identity, now, are we?"

The mates share a long look, then turn back to him and nod in sync. "You can trust us," Ivy assures.

Two-Face moves his gaze to Harley, and smiles at her, plucking the memories from Harvey's consciousness. "Page 52: omega's are biologically curated to bear pups, so should mate at eighteen in order to—"

"—begin the reproductive process as soon as possible while they're in their prime fertility." Harley finishes the quote as stares at him in wonder, then at Bruce, jaw hanging open slightly. "No fuckin way."

Ivy stares at them both, utterly lost. "Why are you quoting reasons to oppress omegas at each other?"

"Because Bruce hated his out-of-date medical textbook and his rants are branded on my brain," Harley explains, inching closer. Two-Face reluctantly inches back, giving her the room, and she takes Bruce's hand, stroking his cheek over the cowl with the other.

"Bruce who?"

"Bruce Wayne," Two-Face fills in, keeping his voice quiet. You never know who's listening in Gotham.

"He's Batman?" Harley asks, watery.

"So now ya know why da Robins won't be no help."

Harley looks like she's sucking on a lemon, and glances at Two-Face. "We can't leave him here. Do we take him back to the Manor?"

"Oz's place is closer." He scoops Bruce up into his arms, and Harley takes the lead, sweeping back across the roof, mallet clenches rightly, ready to take out any threat to Bruce that might emerge, while Ivy brings up the rear, radiating confusion.

Harley leads them to the Batmobile and takes Bruce's hand, leaving Two-Face in an awkward crouch to let the scanner unlock the car. He slides into the back with Bruce, Ivy after him, while Harley gets into the front, and stares at the console in confusion.

"Why are there thirteen gears?"

Bruce shifts in Two-Face's lap, and he whines quietly, writhing.

"Initiate autopilot?" An automated voice asks, and Harley laughs in relief.

"Yes."

"Destination?"

"Cobblepot Manor."

"Autopilot, to Cobblepot Manor."

Harvey eases the cowl back and strokes a clammy cheek, rumbling quietly. "It's okay, Bruce, I've gotcha." The omega is clearly drifting closer to consciousness, and Harvey holds him close.

"Can we trust Ozwald?" Pamela asks, amd Harvey grins at her.

"I have ways of making sure we can."

Part 2

[bruciemilf]

We all know how flustered Battinson would be as a first time dad, but can you imagine him when half the rogue roster AND JL members come to them after Jason gets adopted?

Naturally, they assume he’s Bruce’s biological kid. And chaoes quickly comes knocking.

Harvey is VERY ready to be a dad. Too ready. “Don’t even worry about it, even if we’ve had our problem, OBVIOUSLY I’m the father, and I’ll be there every step of the way.”

“What.”

“There’s no need to hide the truth, Bruce, I’m not mad. I’ll be the best dad I can be. I won’t even let Two Face show him how to shoot a gun.”

“I already know how to do that :D”

“WHAT?”

“What did I tell ya?” The seamless switch is blink-and you miss it, but not for Bruce’s sharp eyes. TF just grins, switchblade sharp, ruffling at Jason’s hair, “That IS my boy.”

Clark sheepishly approaching Bruce one day, sitting down at the JL cafeteria table. His handsome face fashioned a bare earnestness which only confuses Bruce MORE.

“Hey. So, we should probably talk about Jason, right?”

“What.”

“I’m really sorry if I did something that made you feel like you couldn’t tell me. But I’m ready to step up. So when should I move in?”

“We haven’t slept together, Clark.”

“Bruce, I think I’d know my kid when I saw him.”

Hal can’t take this anymore. “HE’S A MAN?” He pauses, “Also, why am I not questioned? I could be the baby daddy! I could SO be the baby daddy!”

“Go away, Hal.”

“Yeah ok.”

[r0ttingsystem]

Let's all be in a TV show!!!

> Do this quiz

> do this picrew (Based on urself + quiz answers)

> tag ppl

> profit.

Tags (/nf ofc):

@mxlilly @circus-of-horror @yourleastfavoriteguyinthechair @microsoupmouse @the-firefly-jar-system @punkrockinchair @theplushiesystem @coded-pup @florasolarsystem + ANYONE else who wants to join

[lucys-reblogs]

Yeah, seems about right.

@annperiodsoftime @shades-art @bloominghydrangeas25 no pressure guys! + anyone else who wants to join.

[annperiodsoftime]

Thank you for the tag! I really like your vision of yourself and this description of you are perfect!

That’s my turn now!

You can play, but only if you want to play! @magicalgear @tilskkarishma

[magicalgear]

Whyyyy 😭 (and my hair isnt THAT blonde :[)

Tysm for the tag thoughhh

No pressure tags: @pennyroyald @charleslver @skythe-crazy-bisexual @lvcisaliaa @s0lace-1n-s0l1tude @plumywad @windyskiez @evvwenthome @tiredthing-idk @readingshrimp @offsetthedeath @thesummerrtriangle @koinoclover @exymylove @crowscadence @philosophist-forever @fyodorsushankaaa @nedemekchuuyagercekdegil + whoever wants to join!!!

[4leaflumin]

hi thanks for the tag!!!!

also yeah that makes sense! i do not look like that AT ALL but i was trying to go for the vibe of the quiz more:3

@not-so-myconid-witch @definitely-not-a-plant @outlying-hyppocrate @hiimhdere+anyone!!!!

[hiimhdere]

I'M????? FLATTERED???????????????? @definitely-not-a-plant @i-eat-moths @not-so-myconid-witch @myorgansaremelting @electricboogaloosstuff

[electricboogaloosstuff]

Yeah that tracks

@gravity-falls-fanatic89 @emiliens

[eviliens]

TY so much for the tag! And while I was doing it, @bren-the-chicken thank you too!

Okay, so my first season character mysteriously vanished because of Horrors! Time to make a second season Character! I'll try to get other answers and surely I'll get something new...

........

WHYYYYY?

....

Anyway, last time I skipped on tagging, so... Sorry in advance, no pressure, but that's a fun one!

@anotherspookyarchivist @cavy-the-dragon @femalemarauder7 @amaryllisfleur @ebsrahl @nervewisdom @lackinggravitas @cheesedanish12 @luka-brighton @lucifersimp @oriondrawsstuff @greenbunny7 @chaseerr0rcode @dartann

...

@shanklin second season is up ^^ (if you wanna)

[ebsrahl]

thanks for the tag!!🫶🏻

tagging anyone who'd like to join.

[wilmvandrr]

inspired by tiramizuu.3 on tt!!

[catoxicc]

he's sleepy

inspired off of @worstwolverinesbf 's post: https://www.tumblr.com/worstwolverinesbf/792170958132822016/has-anybody-drawn-corensupes-sitting-down-and?source=share

[chilewithcarnage]

no amount of budgeting will make up for the fact that we simply do not make enough money

[raddagher]

no amount of therapy will make up for the fact that we simply do not make enough money

[moss-wizard]

no amount of working will make up for the fact that we simply do not make enough money

[mysharona1987]

[brightlotusmoon]

[weaselle]

they deal with human shit, dog shit, body fluids, razors and broken glass, hazardous chemicals, dead animals, live animals, flammable, corrosive, and poisonous substances, they are more likely to get cuts and punctures than most jobs, and those cuts and punctures are more likely to get serious or exotic infections...

and if they didn't do it for like just a few days, your city would be unlivable.

Garbage collectors went on strike in Memphis and within only 3 days Memphis had an estimated 10,000 TONS of garbage piled in the streets

That strike should have been taught in school and is worth reading about, to remember how hard people have fought to get as far as we are, and how hard we have to continue the fight to get where we need to be

[sunderwight]

If the monetary compensation + value of work was truly rated by:

-How important it is to the daily functions of society

-How difficult/dangerous it is to do

-How few people actually want to do it

Then sanitation workers would be the top earners in pretty much every community.

Also, for the record, there are definitely certifications you need to get for specific sanitation jobs. Handling hazardous waste, operating specialized and large equipment, transporting dangerous materials, etc, usually requires some kind of proof of training (depending on local laws & regulations). A lot of jobs that people claim require no expertise do in fact require significant amounts of training and proof of that training. They don't just let you walk off the street and get behind the wheel of a massive truck that will be carrying huge loads of trash through densely populated areas, y'know.

No such thing as unskilled labor.

[the-haiku-bot]

-How important it

is to the daily functions

of society

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[babyblankyerror]

Although I'm all in for older brother Shermie, have you considered him being the little sibling? Stanley being the middle child??

All the love the twins wanted goes to this kid. Stanford feels dirty about it but he gets jealous, especially when Stanley isnt there to fill the loneliness. He worked hard to get accepted and all that child does is babble into his parents hearts.

Stanley always wanted another sibling but he wanted an OLDER brother, he long past accepted it wasnt possible to have one (his actual older brother didnt act much of an older brother- he'd never admit at some point he thought of Ford as one- they're TWINS!). Stanley wants someone who will look out for him, he likes being useful to Ford but sometimes he wants someone to care for his injuries, sometimes he wants someone who will stand up for HIS bullies instead of Stanley having to pretend he is too stupid to realise hes being bullied or having to fight them himself...

Stanley gets a little sibling instead... and because he isnt smart, isnt useful, isnt worth it, he is the one who takes care of the kid.

His homework is set aside so he can look after Shermie when ma is too drunk to, his boxing lessons on pause because pa decided he wanted to give ma some time off and have a date night... the list goes on. Shermie becomes Stanley's responsibility and although its nice to be needed elsewhere, somewhere less violent, Stanley is tired all the time.

Stanley grows up in a way no one else sees it...because he is the immature of the set. He becomes an older brother to both his siblings...right until hes kicked out.

For once he wants to be childish. Chimdish for real- not be told he is childish for things everyone else does, his brothers do. For once he doesnt want to give his comfort items away for Shermie or be alone in a boxing competition because his parents would rather attend Ford's.

For once Stanley wants to be the little sibling... but thats impossible, right? Especially since he doesnt have a family to begin with.

Shermie grows up with hazy memories of his brother Stanford spending time with him but doesnt understand why he hates him now. Their mother and father tells him he is the one who taught him to walk and they tell the funny story of Shermie's first full phrase being some stupid phrase like "my ex wife still misses me"

[aroace-get-out-of-my-face]

your art is so yummy it looks like it tastes like strawberries

~🐈🎨

Thank you so much!!!!! Ive never really been confident with my drawing skills, so I am so overwhelmed by your compliment <3

I’m afraid school has just started up again and I’ve been prioritizing writing over drawing, so I don’t have many FINISHED art things to post, so enjoy an absolute boatload of sketches and doodles from a myriad of different AUs

[adrenal1ne-junk1e]

holy fuck how

[aroace-get-out-of-my-face]

"Hey Pines, is your brother single?"

"Okay, first of all, I don't want you anywhere near my brother, capisce? Second of all, have you seen him with his science partner? You don't stand a chance, buddy. He's already taken."

Well, truth to be told, Stan doesn't really know if Fidds is Ford's boyfriend. He hasn't really asked him. But c'mon. They're joined at the hip, constantly together, and Ford is comfortable enough around him to let him in his personal space. No one is allowed in Ford's personal space not even himself anymore. Also, the way the guy dresses and wears his long hair is pretty telling. No man that would try not to look like a queer would look like that. And Ford... well, his Tesla posters were pretty telling. Not that Stan minded. That'd be... hypocritical of him.

So Stan doesn't ask. Because he doesn't wanna start a conversation that might turn into an argument (seems like that's what most of his conversations end up as). Also, Fiddleford seems like a nice fella. He's crazy smart (something about mechanical engineering? A cool nerd, for once!), he is lovely to Ford, he's polite to the other guards but witty when they start their usual joking. He's stronger than he looks, and even helped the guys carry some stuff around the hanger. He has a funny, thick southern accent that he insists he can't get rid of no matter how much time he spends away from home, which is kind of endearing, in a way. He has a wild glint in his eyes whenever he talks about machines, like a kid who's always up for mischief. He's even nice to Stan himself, despite not knowing a lick of engineering, and he always explains things to him when he asks instead of moving on to the next topic. He's just... effortlessly nice. Ford is lucky to have met a guy who's not only as smart as him, but also handsome.

... fuck.

Okay, fine, the guy is hot. And smart. But he's Ford's boyfriend, so he's not gonna try anything. Obviously. He's not a piece of shit homewrecker. He'll just... hang with them whenever they allow him. With time, he'll come to see Fidds like another brother. Just a little crush. It'll be a funny anecdote in the future.

But, you know. That'd be much easier if the guy wasn't so keen on spending time with him alone, without Ford. And apparently, getting into people's personal space isn't just applied to Ford. Fiddleford has a habit of putting his hand on his shoulder when he talks, sitting very close to him when they go over research notes, or getting too close to his face when he lights his cigarette for him. And Stan should say something, he should... move away, not laugh when he makes a joke, and stop looking at him while he works. He feels like an asshole, like he's once again ruining something good for his brother. The guy's just being nice to him, there's no way he's actually flirting with him, right? No, he's on a completely different league. Also, he better not be. He'll kick his ass if he's trying to cheat on Ford, no matter how cute he is.

So he lets Fiddleford be. As weary as he is of him, he can't deny that he enjoys having him around. They guy hasn't tried to make any moves on him yet, so maybe he's just nice like that. Yep, that must be it. Keep an eye out in case he's suspicious, but be nice to him. Perfect plan.

- - -

"I think your brother doesn't like me."

"How so?"

"Uhhhh..." <- man who just remembered his best friend doesn't get along with the guy he's trying to hit on (which is also his twin)

(Sorry the line "is your brother single?" in that one post stuck in my mind lol)

I just. I love the idea of Ford like.

Listen. Nobody needs to go long possible trails of coastal sea monsters THAT often. Ford doesn't need to be at the beach that just so happens to be a little to the left of the Coast Guard Station near every weekend. Ford doesn't mention that hes constantly looking for one particular familiar face, and that, sure, hes still mad at Stan but. Ya know. Its his brother. Doing very hard work that is possibly dangerous and-okay FINE maybe Ford misses Stan a little and wants to find a way to be around him again without having to do any of that communication bullshit, alright?

So Ford is standing in a tidepool (that just so happens to be near the coast guard dock) in rolled up pants dictating aloud notes about the slighty off sealife, and huh maybe the run off from Gravity Falls lake DOES have something to do with the weirdness of the local fauna, Fiddleford make sure to-Fiddleford are you even listening?

Fiddleford is definitely NOT listening, instead Ford's best friend is staring off at the dock, peaking like hes trying to get a good look and Moses Fiddleford, close your mouth you're staring. Its just Stan pulling in a boat to the dock its not-

And suddenly. A couple of things slot very neatly into place.

Ford turns. Very slowly. Hes not sure exactly what expression he has on his face but Fiddleford straightens and goes pale.

"Now, Stanferd-"

"oh my god."

"Now hang on a minute-"

"Oh. My."

"Its not what it, I mean, its just-"

"He."

"Wait just a second, I can explain-"

"You."

"Its just, well you know it's just-"

And Stanford Pines, who has never had an ounce of subtlety in his entire body, points directly at his best friend since college who, now that he's thinking about it, has mentioned that he has a type that Stan falls into, and shouts at top volume,

"YOU LIKE MY BROTHER?!?"

Distantly, Stan Pines, who had definitely NOT been straining his ears to hear snippets of conversation, drops the rope he was pulling and shouts back "WHAT?!"

(Even more distantly, two of Stan's coast guard company groan and rifle through their wallets to hand their superior officer a couple of bills. It gets boring in helicopters, sometimes bets get placed.)

[energonbunny]

I think it would be insanely funny if somehow Ford doesn't get pushed through the portal, and Stan stays with the last journal long enough to "make sure you don't kill yourself, sixer, what the actual fuck", so somehow Stan is sent to get the unicorn hair and it ends with Ford having his view of him changed.

Stan wants to help Ford even though he doesn't think Ford actually wants his help, and so he just... refuses to leave. Ford is so tired he's basically delirious and can't physically kick him out, nor can he stop Stan from breaking back in, and so he just has to deal with it.

Ford is angry, but what can he do? If Stan won't do what he originally wanted, he might as well make himself useful in other ways, so he sends Stan to get unicorn hair while he stays behind and makes sure Bill doesn't infiltrate somehow.

Ford is so, so tired, and while he does tell Stan that unicorns are annoying and how to get to the glade, he doesn't think to expand on why they're annoying. He assumes it's a lost cause, but it gets Stan out of the house, and hey, he may as well hide that last journal in the unicorn glade while he's there!

He doesn't expect Stan to actually come back with unicorn hair. He doesn't expect Stan to be successful. And Stan just... assumes that Ford already knew the whole "pure of heart" thing was a shtick. Stan clocked it almost immediately and just put Celestabellebethabelle in a headlock or something until she agreed to let him cut some off.

But Ford does NOT know that, and so when Stan comes back with the unicorn hair, he almost has a(nother) mental breakdown. Not only was HE not pure of heart, but STANLEY is? And, okay, he obviously has no idea what PoH actually means, but Stanley?!

But on top of that, it makes him actually kind of... rethink things. So they actually talk. Well, they do after Ford has slept for a very long time. Stanley has thought about this conversation for the last ten years, so he knows what he wants to say, and as much as he wants to downplay it, he knows he fucked up. It doesn't matter that it was an accident, he should have told Ford, it hurt Ford's feelings, etc etc etc. We all know what went down, I don't think I have to rehash everything here. Stan calls it an accident and for the first time Ford believes him, and that's what's important.

Ford is shaken and needs some time because that is a lot of anger to pick through, but also Stanley is Pure of Heart. His brother is Pure of Heart. It has to mean SOMETHING.

So they mend their relationship, and Ford relies on Stanley a lot more willingly and listens to Stanley more, because he's convinced that that something has to be good.

And Stanley doesn't let him down! He helps dismantle the portal enough that it isn't an immediate threat, he runs into town when Ford is too paranoid to leave the house, he helps clean and sort through the mess. Ford admits that he let things slip between his focus on the portal and then his horror over the truth, so Stan helps get the heat turned back on, gives the electric company a sob story so they don't turn off the lights like they're threatening to, etc. Ford doesn't really have any funds at this point, so Stan still does the whole mystery thing, but this time Ford helps with what he shows people and comes up with some of the fake things/information on them.

So Stan helps Ford get back on his feet, and of course he doesn't stop being Stan, he still scams and steals like its as natural as breathing, but Ford is still convinced that the PoH thing means something, so he just... doesn't think about it too hard. Their mother was a fake psychic, so really, Stan is just doing what he knows, and how bad can that be? Ford almost let the world end, it's not like he has room to talk.

And things just keep going like that, convincing Ford that Stan is somehow ultra amazing. Ford mentions Fiddleford or they run into him/his cult? Stan says he knows an addict when he sees one, they kidnap and lock Fidds up for a bit while he "detoxes", and then fix up his cult when he wakes up. Stan makes it so the town actually knows who Ford is and welcomes them both. Stan befriends people, and people visit the shack for more than just the "mystery tours". Ford ends up finding more anomalies by talking to other towns folk, too.

It's not until years later when the twins come to stay that the truth comes out. Mabel is desperate to see a unicorn, and Ford tries to caution her, but Stan laughs and "reminds" him it was just a gimmick. Ford loses it all over again.

[eviliens]

Uploaded several JimStan fics to AO3 again. This the more suggestive ones.

Today it's the Biting Extra for Hellsnake and the Thirsty old men enjoyer Jimmy.

[artisiumstudios]

A pull of a trigger. That’s all it would take for Stanford to kill his brother, and sure his physical body would be fine. But his mind? The very thing that makes a person who they are; personality, memory, everything that made Stanley would be gone. Something that needed to be done in order for the world to be saved. Simple, right?

But what if something went wrong, but also right?

What if in that moment the gun malfunctioned? Stan’s memories still get deleted, but what if something cause the gun to then shoot Stan’s memories into ford’s mind? (The plate maybe wouldn’t allow memories to be retrieved, wouldn’t allow bill to enter, but information can always enter the mind right? So what if that happened, showing ford all of Stan’s memories.

And what if in that moment the axolotl appeared to Stanford? The memories were never supposed to be stanfords, but ford pleads, begs the god to give him another chance. Let him go back and fix his mistakes.

The axolotl agrees on one condition; he can’t help Stan directly. Ford only gets one chance, and the more he fails, the more he forgets. Each big moment in his brothers life, the failed commercials, being runned out of towns, locked in the rink of his car, Tijuana, the loony bin, jimmy snakes; every single time ford fails to change one of those events he will forget the memory from his brothers own memory.

He agrees, despite having no plan set in mind. He closes his eyes and when he wakes up, he’s not in gravity falls.

He’s in Glass Shard beach, New Jersey. Two months after stanley was kicked out, and one month before graduation.

He gets out of his bunk bed. He needs to stop his brother from making that commercial.

[aroace-get-out-of-my-face]

E listen to me. E your sketch of coast guard Stanhas me cackling and I NEED you to know that Im literally coughing my lungs out I can't stop laughing about what Im gonna tell you okay.

So we all know Coast guard Stan has so little swag. Who is this man. Who is he. Where is our boy.

Consider: ford doesn't recognize him either. He's just like "oh weird this guy looks kinda familiar and is giving me such a stink eye. Isnt it his job to save people? Whys he so mad?" Meanwhile Stan is just glowering bc he's expecting a; the clownery of a lifetime and b; Ford to start pulling some shit about the science fair machine.

Ford just. Has. Face blindness.

Listen the man has been wearing the same glasses and the same haircut literally his entire fuckin life. It does not OCCUR TO HIM that people can. Change. Their appearance

He gets dragged like a wet cat into the coast guard helicopter sputtering and complaining and the guy who dragged him in is giving him a weirdly mean look, like okay, yeah he made a mistake but the guy doesn't have to look THAT pissy about it.

The mental image that it just. Very. Slowly dawns on Ford is hilarious to me. Like he hears this "guy" talk to the other crew members and that doesn't do it. The guy takes off the swim gear and that doesn't do it (Stan also puts back on his glasses which is unhelpful for recognition) and even when they get back to base Ford hasn't properly realized, it isnt until Stan gets off the helicopter and Ford catches a glimpse of the name tag that says PINES super big that Ford goes "w a it. StanLEY?!?" And by then Stan is already moving as FAR AWAY as he possibly can without actually running and Fords being ushered in by emergency services and can't talk to Stan at all

Stan thinks he's properly gotten away with some of his dignity until a week later and one of his crew goes "Pines. Theres someone at the office lookin for you." And Stan goes cause who the hell is looking for him? They must be confused or something theres no-

And its FORD. Looking furious.

(Please also imagine Ford routinely calling and coming onto the coast guard base LOOKING for Stan and Stan just. Avoiding him. Putting a beanie on and walking past. Turning when Ford comes into the room. Sliding underneath a helicopter because Ford came into the hanger. Cartoonish levels of avoiding as all of his Coworkers go "Stan? Stan Pines? Man I've never heard of that guy. You sure you got the right name?"

The only reason Ford hasn't been like. Banned from base is because the superior officers have FINALLY REALIZED something that makes Stan actually nervous. His brother. "Pines go clean that or im calling your brother." Ass threats)