this totally bites!

hi i’m john and i’m the radest rad to ever rad.

im the baddest bad to ever bad. aka raven dragomir. heh, sorry i couldnt help myself.

ahaha no it’s cool!

so you’re a john? whats…

but i know a dave?

and he seems pretty cool.

maybe you just ran into asshole daves and not the cool ones?

actually, one of them is my flush crush. buuuut he doesnt feel the same. you know how dave is, hes just too cool for that shit.

well i guess so!

i really wouldn’t know though, i’m not close with many dave’s.

really? wow thats actually a big surprise! but you and i can be friends so i guess that you dont need any loser daves. and do you drink blood?

sure, i don’t see why not!

and only when i have to, like right now. usually i drink a blood substitute called fanga, but i ran out today, so a friend sent me a couple bags of blood.

thats freaking hella! dude if your ever in need, i dont mind being a doner. seriously, anything to help a brother out.

aha, no, it's fine!

we're actually not supposed to drink normie blood if it's directly from the normies, like, only from blood bags and stuff.

i appreciate the gesture, though!

hi i’m john and i’m the radest rad to ever rad.

im the baddest bad to ever bad. aka raven dragomir. heh, sorry i couldnt help myself.

ahaha no it’s cool!

so you’re a john? whats…

but i know a dave?

and he seems pretty cool.

maybe you just ran into asshole daves and not the cool ones?

actually, one of them is my flush crush. buuuut he doesnt feel the same. you know how dave is, hes just too cool for that shit.

well i guess so!

i really wouldn’t know though, i’m not close with many dave’s.

really? wow thats actually a big surprise! but you and i can be friends so i guess that you dont need any loser daves. and do you drink blood?

sure, i don't see why not!

and only when i have to, like right now. usually i drink a blood substitute called fanga, but i ran out today, so a friend sent me a couple bags of blood.

hi i’m john and i’m the radest rad to ever rad.

im the baddest bad to ever bad. aka raven dragomir. heh, sorry i couldnt help myself.

ahaha no it’s cool!

so you’re a john? whats…

but i know a dave?

and he seems pretty cool.

maybe you just ran into asshole daves and not the cool ones?

actually, one of them is my flush crush. buuuut he doesnt feel the same. you know how dave is, hes just too cool for that shit.

well i guess so!

i really wouldn't know though, i'm not close with many dave's.

#let me tell you about Vio/Eridan #ooc

homestuckrpproblems

devioushominid started following you.

>Oh, right. You’d already introduce yourself. Laugh nervously.

"Oh, right, haha."

>Raise an eyebrow.

"Uh, matesprite? I don’t know what that is. And I might not stay here, I already have a house."

"In human terms its like a boyfriend or girlfriend but we used the human laws to get married. So were mated for life so to say." she sat down.

"So what are you doing way out here in Alternia?"

"Ah, okay."

>Sit down too

"I'm actually not sure. I guess I'm better at getting lost than I thought."

oh well as long as you’re not still hurt or anything!

haha, wow, that’s a pretty long time. i thought i spent a lot of time in my house.

but that’s your own business!

strawberryaj-blog

well i mean i obvs didnt spend it all at home like i was ‘posed’ta thatd be fuckin’ stupid theres ahuge ass world out there john a huge ass world and now ive gone and lost it now my huge as world is a puny white room with dumb white walls, and a hard white bed that cavemen wouldnt even be able to sleep on who knows tho, come tomorrow i could be home, holdin’ my bf’s daughter, and lovin’ all over the blue eyed boy of my dreams so i guess i cant complain

well i'm sure you'll be fine!

and this'll probably sound really corny but if you weren't already planning on it, make sure you tell your boyfriend how much you love him.

like i've been around for a while and i've met a lot of people and sometimes i never told the people close to me how much they meant to me and then they were gone forever.

but that's just my advice!

jeez, i'm sounding more and more like an old man everyday.

yeah, it’s what we call humans. ‘we’ being the regular attribute dodgers, or rads. monsters, basically.

oh! that’s pretty cool! like you can just fly around whenever you want to!

i’m doing okay, better than earlier. what about you?

loveinamists

oh wow, cool! what kind are you,...

i'm a vampire! and don't worry, i don't actually bite, cause that's not allowed. and also kinda gross.

oh, haha! still, that's pretty cool! you could probably pull the greatest prank ever, like if someone is being shitty you could just tell them you're a guardian angel and that they're going to hell for being a shitty person.

that didn't sound as asshole-ish and weird in my head, wow. :/

aw! i hope you and your boyfriend are okay!

devioushominid started following you.

>Huh. Apparently these people had never seen a RAD before. Well, that’s what you assumed, anyway.

"Uh, no thank you, I’m good. My name is John."

"I got that the first time you introduce yourself sweetie" she giggled. "The reason they all gather is because they wonder if the newcomers are going to stay here in me and my matesprites manshion. We have lots of trolls living her, some humans too."

>Oh, right. You'd already introduce yourself. Laugh nervously.

"Oh, right, haha."

>Raise an eyebrow.

"Uh, matesprite? I don't know what that is. And I might not stay here, I already have a house."

devioushominid started following you.

>??? You really had no idea what was going on.

"Uh, a cup of what? Or is that not what you meant?"

"Tea, Milk, Soda you name it i can see if i have it" she smiles at him.

"Oooh everyone be nice to the guest and just shoo!"

Everyone scattered

>Huh. Apparently these people had never seen a RAD before. Well, that's what you assumed, anyway.

"Uh, no thank you, I'm good. My name is John."

thatsillyjohnkid started following you.

oh, look, a normie me!

at least, i’m assuming you’re a normie.

loveinamists

hey!

what does normie mean? is that like a term for human or something? i ask that because different people have like different words for human so i never know.

if so, then yeah, i am, for the most part. other than having wings, anyways.

so how are you?

yeah, it's what we call humans. 'we' being the regular attribute dodgers, or rads. monsters, basically.

oh! that's pretty cool! like you can just fly around whenever you want to!

i'm doing okay, better than earlier. what about you?

saccharineheir

i kill people and eat hands.

i need you coords. and does it matter if it’s fresh or not?

uh, good for you, then.

i guess it doesn’t really matter unless it’s like a few years old or something.

[coords.txt]

and here i was, thinking i’d never have to use my transportalizer.

saccharineheir

>Sends a few bags of blood.

you never know~

>Put that shit in your fridge so it'll stay fresh.

i guess you're right.

thanks!

hi i’m john and i’m the radest rad to ever rad.

im the baddest bad to ever bad. aka raven dragomir. heh, sorry i couldnt help myself.

ahaha no it’s cool!

so you’re a john? whats...

but i know a dave?

and he seems pretty cool.

maybe you just ran into asshole daves and not the cool ones?

genderfluidenglish-deactivated2

well it’s kind of a long story and i made a posts about it so yeah.

but that’s kinda cool! the dog thing, i mean. like i bet if you look at people the right way you could get them to give you stuff.

Oh i saw it and that seems really bad!

Where else can you get blood from without attacking somebody?

And ive tried that! I ended up getting a free corndog from the mall!

usually i order it online from a catalogue but the shipment takes a couple of days.

but my friend sent me a couple bags of blood just now so i'll be okay until it gets here.

haha, wow, cool!

okay, this is gonna take a bit of explaining, so i’ll put a read more cause this might be long.

strawberryaj-blog

wow, you really get around, huh?

i can tell you that if you’ve heard about a monster before then it’s probably real.

...

oh well as long as you're not still hurt or anything!

haha, wow, that's a pretty long time. i thought i spent a lot of time in my house.

but that's your own business!

devioushominid started following you.

hey.

i’m john and i’m trying to figure out why people wanna follow me right now but whatever.

Bunches of Trolls had gathered around the human, or so they thought. Then suddenly They were all pushed aside as the head female walked forward.

"Hello John. I’m Skylar. Hey the more friends the better right?" she smiles "Care for a cuppa?" she cursed to herself "Way to many Sherlock i’ve watched"

>??? You really had no idea what was going on.

"Uh, a cup of what? Or is that not what you meant?"