i was so naive in thinking that spirk shippers were exaggerating. what the fuck is wrong with these two.
SPOCK HAS A MATING CYCLE?????
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

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@ecurai
i was so naive in thinking that spirk shippers were exaggerating. what the fuck is wrong with these two.
SPOCK HAS A MATING CYCLE?????
Don’t let fake fans tell you different, Trek has always been queer 🏳️🌈🪐🚀
the space seed episode of tos where they find khan and the ss botany bay is so funny because right off the bat you have kirk being like "yeah let's get that historian whats-her-name out there, maybe she can be useful for once" and it's like WOAH what's up with the liberal arts hate?? why is kirk being such a bitch to this lady for no reason. then you meet her and she's fucking obsessed with historical strongmen to the point of covering her walls in her own fanart. she lives on a spaceship in a utopian technofuture and she sleeps surrounded by busts of kings on purpose. her vibes are fashy and kirk is right to be a bitch, actually.
then they get to the botany bay and she's immediately driven to distraction by how horny she is for ricardo montalban under a thick layer of extra-dark foundation. sorry i'm gonna compare montalban with and without the makeup because it is SO distracting
also she refers to sikhs in the past tense implying that at some point in the last two hundred years there was a genocide that they're just glossing over. since she also calls them a warrior race it's also possible that she's just racist and somewhere on board the enterprise there are sikh crew members who dislike her as much as kirk does.
anyway you can assume that this is her first actual away mission and she fumbled immediately because she was so hot for khan but it's much funnier if this isn't the first time this has happened. every time they have to interact with a historical earth artifact she gets so horned up thinking about being a tradwife that she's rendered speechless. spock stays polite but kirk can't stand her. by the time kirk found out she was the type of person to paint her own portraits of napoleon and roman emperors to hang in her quarters it was too late to send her back and request literally anyone else. he's supposed to court martial her but offers to let her stay on fashy eugenics planet just so he won't have to keep her on his ship anymore. it's unclear if he lets her take her paintings or jettisons them into space.
this is the funniest analysis of “Space Seed” I've ever seen
... Same. :)
#an average star trek episode be like
I JUST bought a secondhand copy of uhura's song right
And THEESE ARE GENUINE TABS THAT WERE IN THERE WHEN I GOT IT.
I want to again state I DID NOT DO THIS. the question is.... which one of you did...
(Cause I cant imagine this person not using tumblr)
i really do want to see what the alpha quadrant yelp reviews for quark's bar are like. do they fuck with him. does he get 100% negative reviews from bajorans for working for cardassians
bigearedman
⭐☆☆☆☆
I was informed this was a family establishment, but to my suprise my young sons were exposed to absolute DEPRAVITY! I wanted to take them to witness gambling and how to profit off it, but the females attending were FULLY CLOTHED! To add on to that, I heard the waiters mentioning the uni*n word in front of my children! I will not be returning.
dakhurboy76
⭐⭐☆☆☆
even the forces of two wars blowing through the station this bar is located in wasn't enough to dislodge the stickiness off the tables that probably was there since terok nor. two stars because the dabo girls were nice to me
targlova
⭐⭐⭐☆☆
The drinks are good but the owner wouldn't do anything about the shapeshifter rudely investigating me for a murder I didn't commit
kaiwinnatemyson
⭐☆☆☆☆
i'd boycott this shithole for profiting the cardassian occupation of bajor but i don't think they made any profit
Rom
⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
This is where I met my absolutely lovely wife and the best stepmom to my son ❤❤ Happy anniversary babe every day I wake up I am overjoyed to get it to spend with you!!!! One star off for worker exploitation and sexual harassment of employees
glinnAwesome
⭐☆☆☆☆
Whoever thinks that anti-Cardassian racism isn't real hasn't tried their kanar
i would like to hear your thoughts on the "You see it's quite simple: if they call the earth Gaia, it's fantasy. If they call it Terra, that's sci-fi" tie into greek and roman mythology please
OKAY SO.
Gaia is the Greek personification of the Earth, right, and Terra comes from Terra Mater (Mother Earth), the Roman version of essentially the same thing.
And I think we tend to view Ancient Greece as a kind of mythical fantasy place (this is fair, much of the culture of Ancient Greece the average person interacts with is fiction) vs. Rome, which is very real to the average imagination. When one thinks of Rome, one thinks of real events that actually happened (the Ides of March, the Great Fire, maybe the big fuckoff wall in England, etc.)
What I think is super interesting about that is that this is an effect of the primary technology of the Roman empire—colonisation—being so blisteringly effective that Roman mythology and their incredibly pervasive religion (and the 5D chess they were playing with it in order to facilitate the colonisation project) is pretty much invisible unless you sit down and look for it. Did you know the Romans had a god-personification of doorways (Forculus)? Now you do. And yet it's ALWAYS Romans In Space because we think of them as a real and serious imperial power vs. like, theatre nerds.
This is a shame for science fiction I think because other options include:
Space Peloponnesian League. Nice planet you got there. Sure would be a shame if anything happened to it. Have you seen our armada. Would you like to contribute to the armada, thus enlarging it, to ensure nothing unfortunate happens to your nice planet?
Space Sparta. Empire run entirely on the dominion of one single other planet with a population of perhaps 100x the legitimate citizen population. Control of said planet maintained by random acts of terrorism enacted by particularly horrible children. Bad at warfare despite putting all their time and attention into it. Deluded into thinking they're good at defence where the fact of the matter is that no one in their right mind would want their barren death planet.
Space Scythians. What home planet? Oh no they live on their ships. Yeah they just raid whatever planets they pass for supplies. They have this whole sector under an iron fist.
Space Persians. Hello new subjects we are religiously mandated to defeat chaos and also we're collecting your plants for our gardens. We have hundreds of vassal states and they're all terrified of us, for excellent reason.
and so on and so forth
Not to suggest these literally never come up in science fiction but the ratio of Romans to other possible imperial structures is way off and imho it's because Romans were such unbelievably successful colonisers that we think of them as real (and therefore reasonable fodder for science fiction) where almost all other ancient civilisations end up being used as blueprints for fantasy even though they were real too.
This isn't necessarily bad but it is an interesting pattern & the fact that it exists says a lot more than we tend to think about re: Western culture and Western cultural product as a whole.
my favorite genre of star trek photo: character(s) on an accidental pride flag background that really resonates with them
my collection grows
if anyone has any more please send em
YOUR EMAIL FINDS ME ON THE FIELD OF BATTLE
Klingon auto-reply
sorry i told u to kill yourself the other day, i was like crazy horny and not thinking straight
Understandable girlboss let's channel that energy into getting laid next time
Only valid character tag here post everyone else pack it up
“My father says that you have been my friend. You came back for me” drives me crazy. It’s been minutes. As soon as Spock woke up Sarek must have been like “hey son i know you barely remember who you are but there’s this guy who loves you so much he gave up his flesh & blood AND his livelihood to save you so you should probably thank him for orchestrating your resurrection. Also hi i’m your father”
kirk: spock will be acting captain in my absence. i trust him with my life and expect you all to do the same. *leaves bridge*
spock [hopping over the railing to follow kirk]: sulu's in charge
for all his nobility and grace chakotay is also by far the senior officer most likely to sell a crew member (very possibly tom) to one direction
T'Pol: Captain. It is against regulations to sell Malcom Reed to One Direction. (she would look the other way if Archer did it)
Spock: It would be illogical to sell Doctor McCoy to One Direction.... Although perhaps it would be somewhat pleasurable. *whimsical flute*
Riker: Ha, we're not that desperate yet. But I got their contact information - start packing, Data! *wink* (he's joking, he wouldn't do it)
Kira: To sell- that's despicable! To do that, we'd be no better than the Cardassians! Let me talk to these One Direction, I'll show them where they can stick up their offer.
Michael Burnham: We're not selling anybody. We're a crew, and a crew solves things together. Hail the One Direction.
Saru: Well- if it's you think it's necessary, Captain.... Are you sure there's no other options?
Chakotay: Listen, Tom, I don't like it either. But you understand the situation.
Underground industrial electronic goth band about to drop the clingiest clangiest beep boop track in the gamma quadrant
Depeche Mogh
#.bashir being in an underground industrial goth band with two klingons feels like the kinda lore he’d drop about his high school years.#.and then never bring up again or elaborate at all.
I have to highlight this glorious and accurate prev tag
Someone To Watch Over Me || Star Trek: Voyager
Breaking News: Vulcan High Command Announces First Contact With Earth
TV-MA, Viewer Discretion Is Advised (Explicit Sexual Content)