dracula's son, alucard, and frankenstein's son, nietsneknarf
sorry no actually nietsneknarf is his creator's son, the monster's son is named retsnom s'nietsneknarf
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Phantogram Three
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
untitled
noise dept.
$LAYYYTER
official daine visual archive
cherry valley forever
EXPECTATIONS
NASA
Fai_Ryy
KIROKAZE
occasionally subtle
Not today Justin
Cosimo Galluzzi

Origami Around

ellievsbear
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

tannertan36
Game of Thrones Daily

seen from Malaysia

seen from United Kingdom
seen from Switzerland
seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom

seen from Germany

seen from Türkiye

seen from United Kingdom

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Spain
seen from Netherlands

seen from Malaysia
seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Singapore

seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
@cthulhu-with-a-fez
dracula's son, alucard, and frankenstein's son, nietsneknarf
sorry no actually nietsneknarf is his creator's son, the monster's son is named retsnom s'nietsneknarf
obi wan kenobi + force suggestion
If we go with the idea that was brought up a while ago that force suggestions only really work if the subject was already favourable to what was being suggested, then Obi-Wan is just counting on the fact that people hate their jobs.
Obi-Wan knows how capitalism works
a man in a bathrobe is shoplifting right in front of me
me: guess I need to… stop him? hey…
bathrobe man: “you’re not getting paid enough to give a shit about this my man…”
me: …
you know what…
If I worked in a college or library I would just randomly hang signs asking people not to do the most incomprehensible things
"Please be mindful of other library-goers! Do not descale fish in the library!"
i exfoliated so crazy style today that if anyone tries to catch me i'll be like a sea cucumber btw
reading ppl's responses to this i'm realizing that while many people know sea cucumbers can expel internal organs to evade predators (not what i meant), far fewer people on this site anyway have had to pick up and move sea cucumbers around. fair. they're slippery was my point.
must feel good as fuck to curse a prince for being rude to you while you were larping as an old woman for no reason
... you know. If I could transform into someone a CEO is ethically obligated to help and then punish them for failing to do so, in such a way that they can only be accepted into society again if they learn basic moral lessons about decency, I don't think I would do anything else ever again.
Once you learn about even the bare basics of traffic engineering you start noticing the problems everywhere. Especially in North America you go down the street in your everyday life and you’re like damn this place was designed to maximize human misery huh
"if a male centaur had a dick would it be like this or like this?" is such a stupid question with an obvious answer. yes the male centaur has a dick and it's the horse dick. come on.
a much more interesting question is "if a female centaur lactates which mammary glands does she produce milk from?" and i think the answer may be "in the event that a female centaur lactates, she first produces milk from her horse mammary glands and then as her centaur foal grows taller milk production moves to her human mammary glands and it's convenient for both of them."
(Going to switch to gender neutral language for the birthing parent for trans and intersex purposes. For animals it doesn’t matter - while intersex animals do exist and I have personally cared for one that was internally female, animals don’t give as many shits)
This begs the question, how long does the centaur foal nurse? In my experience with lactating cattle and goats, the babies (both sexes can have horns, its breed and punnet square related) get too big and horned around 5-6 months that the mother starts chasing them off. I know of one goat mother daughter pair where the daughter will still occasionally drink from her mother, but she doesn’t have horns and was her only child for a very long time. I haven’t worked with lactating horses but I would think it’s roughly the same
However, with centaurs there’s 1. The expectation of sentience and perhaps embarrassment for long nursing* 2. No horns and 3. A longer infancy when you consider the human half.
*I don’t care but it seems like most cultures definitely have it done by 5, and many before 2.
I think out of necessity you have to assume the infant foal would be able to support its own neck and back (I’ve seen a post floating around on here where the baby is getting thrown back by its legs running fast lol) otherwise there’s just. So much more that could go wrong and I think defeats the purpose of having horse legs and thus the baby horse defense system of being able to Run Away. So centaur foals probably have abs within their baby bellies lol.
Anyway, horse foals are generally not that shorter much than their mothers. As centaurs are traditionally depicted to have the human part attach above the butt on the back and right above the groin in the front, usually hips inclusive, I think the centaurs proportions are roughly equal. Horse necks are *generally* about the same length or shorter than the above mentioned part of the human body. So the height ratios would be roughly equal.
Horse foals are notoriously tall in comparison to calves and kids, and even that bunch generally have to duck their heads to reach their mother’s nipples. This is also a digestive thing that ungulates* generally have to do to actually digest well and not get too much air (gravity helps). So the milk goes angled down into the mouth, then angled a bit up from the bottom arch of their neck to their body, and then down into the stomach. They pull their mother’s nipples a bit to the side.
This also lowkey allows the mom to kick them if they’re being annoying, or only knock them to the side a bit if the mother suddenly needs to run due to a predator. Generally, this is when the babies get groomed, as they are relatively still and the mother can reach around to lick them. This especially important post birth, as the mother has to clean their butts to help facilitate their first ever feces.
*it’s either ungulate (hooved animal) or ruminant (multi-stomach chambered animal, generally hooved, kind of a subset) for which this is true. Horses aren’t ruminants but cows and goats are. In any case, they nurse the same.
However, human and centaur faces are shorter than horses and such. Generally human babies, especially really young ones, are fed face up, body slightly angled down and the nipple of the bottle or lactating parent is down towards them. Or the nipple is facing out, and the baby attaches but is still lightly angled in such a way so that gravity helps.
It would be difficult to really feed a centaur foal underneath. While *if* they could get under there, the baby would be in the right gravity position to get the milk, the baby would have to crane its neck back, be in risk of its parent’s legs way more, and be a tripping hazard for a running parent. Additionally, the baby would have to lay down or at least crouch a LOT to nurse, which I can tell you unless they’re hot or tired for another reason, baby ungulates are WAYYY more inclined to do that after they had milk. Big fat milk bellies make for sleepy kids.
(Lowkey I used to teach the kids to just get down on their knees to nurse from their moms because they were. Just so bad at it. Like yes nature they were going to figure out a good method anyway but the knee method was better and worked when they weren’t just newborns but large little month olds too. I was obnoxious.)
So while I like your idea that it switches, because it’s fun and points to a very interesting reproductive and lactation system that would be a lot on the lactating parent to do hormonally, I propose that it solely be top only. That way, the lactating parent can bend over their torso to nurse the standing baby while they groom it. They likely wouldn’t even have to bend too far for long, as the baby’s mouth would likely reach nipple height fairly quickly. While the human part and brain may take longer to develop, horses are notorious for getting tall fast, and just filling out with muscles and fat later. I imagine the horse half of the centaur is the same.
In any case, the centaur parent then could run pretty quickly as needed, as well as the baby, and when the baby was very little, they could reach and grab it off the ground in that position when they needed to run.
This WOULD be a lot of mammary and milk weight for the lactating parent to carry on their human half, but I think this would make the most sense. And as centaurs developed tools and defenses, perhaps harnesses that distributed the weight could be developed, and the lactating parent would feel safe enough to lay their horse half down on the ground to rest while they nurse.
(Also by my logic I don’t think it would make sense for centaurs to keep their horse nipples? But I guess it depends on how they developed, and it doesn’t hurt to have an extra pair if one plans to have children and nurse them I guess. I do think the fetus should grow in the horse half, that thangs going to be too big to do otherwise)
(Unrelated but also since estrogen for HRT was historically, but not anymore, made from pregnant mare urine, if the inseminating partner wanted to help feed the baby and/or hormonally transition, that would likely help! I don’t know if the pee also helps with lactation, I forgot which hormone that is + idk if it’s in the pee)
Everyone on this post:
I will also add that in my addled late-night centaur musings I was probably also imagining a much smaller foal than a typical horse foal simply because of the centaur foal being a weird-shaped six-limbed creature rather than a typical horse, so even though you can probably move a lot of organs around inside the human and horse torsos, you still have to get the centaur foal out of horse in the end, and maybe significantly smaller (though not necessarily with a developmental trade-off? they're centaurs, we can fudge stuff since the babies are also ripped) offspring would be easier on the adult and would also make it easier to nurse from the horse half.
However, I think you have a much more thought-out argument here than I do and I am very willing to entertain it! And also I hope more people discuss the very important Centaur Lactation Issue :D
:) Good point! They are pretty awkward in the grand scheme of things. Horse foals generally come out like they’re diving? Feet first, head tucked to arms (front legs), back legs trailing out behind. The human torso COULD probably do that, but it’s less aerodynamic (idk a better word) than a horse face to be honest, and I could see a baby sticking out their arms at a wrong moment instead of tucking them between the horse legs or in dive position.
So a smaller fetus would make more sense, which could still work for my theory, as the parent could pick the baby to nurse when it’s really little. And when the leg growth kicks in fairly quick, then it can go to the standing up to nurse situation. I think someone in the notes mentioned this version.
Alternatively (and this is partly inspired by @c-rowlesdraws ‘s Andalite design) the foal could be born as a marsupial baby, thus fitting the small fetus idea, nursing on the parent’s nipples on the inside of the pouch and making get-aways still decently quick, and then when it gets too leggy, it comes out and nurses up top. Which WOULD fit into the original theory.
honored to be tagged into this thread. What a journey. What mental images. My contribution is that I think centaur parents would loaf on the ground to nurse their foals from the human boobs, while the other parent and members of the herd stand on-guard for predators if necessary. Just as our intelligence and social behavior allowed our distant ancestors to successfully care for relatively helpless babies, so too would the intelligence of centaurs allow them to care for foals that are a little undercooked and less precocious compared to horse foals. I think that sapient centaur societies, both nomadic and stationary, would arrange their herd members and dwellings such that the most vulnerable members of the herd would always be well-protected, thus allowing nursing parents and foals to relax and rest rather than needing to be ready to run at a moment’s notice.
i think we should all start using arabic words and phrases more often because its a beautiful language and also theres not really. english equivalents that have the same vibes
theres also the comedy potential of it. you guys dont know the joy of having your muslim friend text you "hopefully the racists in our city will all get sick and cant go to the protest" and you, as a pasty white guy, responding with "inshallah they get covid"
its a one hit KO every time. its fucking hilarious. theres no english word that has the same effect.
he also once texted me that he got over a mysterious illness he came down with (i think? i cant remember the exact context) and i responded with "subhanallah he is cured"
again, one hit KO. he lost his shit.
what im saying is we gotta normalise arabic. its just a language like any other, and it has some great words. its just like saying "thank god" or whatever, but theres so much variety and nuance. its beautiful
what do inshallah and subhanallah mean so I could potentially use em in the correct situations? And potential words I could use?
OK LETS DO THIS
disclaimer i am not arab or muslim and i dont speak arabic but @frogofalltime has explained these words to me and says im using them correctly lmao
inshallah - "if god wills it". like an "i hope this happens" kind of thing. remember the finding nemo poster "inshallah they find him" meme if that helps. used in future tense.
mashallah - "god has willed it", used when something good happened. can be used to denote awe about an event or person. used in past tense.
alhamdulillah - essentially "thank god" or "praise be to god". like mashallah and inshallah but stronger, and can be used in any tense (i think). he will be baked soon alhamdullilah
subhanallah - "glory be to god". like alhamdullilah but stronger. used for when something almost miraculous happens!
those are all the ones i remember off the top of my head im sure binya can add more (and also confirm whether ive got my translations right)
mashaallah robin my faithful student you translated and explained all of this so well :0
there's also astaghfirullah which means "i seek forgiveness in god" which you use when you or someone else does something haram (forbidden / sinful / wrong). tbh we use it in a lot of jokey contexts like if someone swears in a conversation you can call them out like "astaghfirullah haram !"
and bismillah which means "in the name of god" which you can use before doing something, we often use it before doing a difficult thing like when you are struggling to open a bottle or something lmao. or you can say it when someone falls or drops something or gets injured. idk
appalachians need this they will be unstoppable
There’s definitely something to doing a mix-and-match with semantically-similar rural-American colloquialisms. I think “Inshallah and the creek don’t rise” has a nice ring to it.
Lord that rolls off the tongue so good 😭
i see a curved penis and i want to fix that shit. it's not that it's gross i just bet an hour in a bench vice would make that shit shoot straight. i wanna comically spin the handle and wrench it tight with the skill of a shop teacher that's been doing this for years. safety goggles on. heavy duty gloves. op! be careful of the clenching back there. that's how Ms. Paradise lost a pinky in college.
I suppose this exposes my ignorance and inexperience. I suggest we normalize the use of the penis vice so that we can curve and straighten cocks to our own unique tastes. They can be 3D printed with an aposable skeleton so that they can be curved. I have included a mockup down below.
op i regret to inform you that the curve is so inherent that it persists even when you flip it inside out, turn it into a vagina, and stick a ramrod straight dilator into it for 30 minutes 4 times per day for several months.
(they don't usually give you an MRI 4 months after bottom surgery, i just happened to need one for unrelated reasons)
girl why is your pussy trying to take me on the road less traveled. fucking that thing i hear google maps say "exit left." trying to hit your spot but your pussy said that's not part of the guided tour. your shit is so twisted the people's joker took it to her doctor saying "like this please." I KNOW she WILL be comin around the mountain when she comes! i always wanted a girl who turned heads, but this is ridiculous!!!
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
Supermassive Black Hole lends itself to soundtracking one thing and one thing alone and that is a strip club. Supermassive Black Hole is the most perfect strip club rock song I've ever heard. I've heard rock songs *about* strip clubs that feel less suited to a strip club than Supermassive Black Hole. I have heard songs where sex is explicitly described in the lyrics that feel less sexy than Supermassive Black Hole. Supermassive Black Hole is a song so disgustingly, flagrantly, enticingly slutty that I sometimes feel legitimately shocked that it was made by a band that most people make fun of for sounding like if Radiohead sold out after their first album. It is a crowning achievement in stripper music that may never be topped in our lifetime. It is best known for soundtracking the scene in the first Twilight movie where they play baseball.
challenging all white women to put in even half the effort they spend on fearmongering to other white women about parking lot abductions to instead support MMIWG initiatives if they want to actually make a difference in protecting women
The AFN's Seeking have yet to see real, on-the-ground changes to end violence against First Nations women, girls, and gender-diverse people.
The key to writing good fanfiction is to harbor a deeply humiliating desire, and the trick there is that even pretty basic and societally-accepted desires like “being held” and “being wanted” CAN and WILL be humiliating if they’re intense enough. Become so estranged from human connection that the idea of someone playing with your hair fills you with yearning so deep you feel like you’re going to throw up and you will write some banger fanfiction. It might have some other consequences too but idrk about that.
Me, ordering without asking questions: huh I wonder what a dirty chai is. Dirty sodas have milk...chai usually has milk? I like milk. Maybe it has EXTRA milk. Or fancy milk. Orrr some special sugar? Idk I'll try it
It was an espresso shot. There's coffee in my tea ]:
@rambling-robot I'm sorry to put you on blast like this but it's too funny to stay hidden