Fredrik Edén Illustration

Illustrator who loves living life, shitty horror movies and gaming. www.facebook.com/FredrikEdenIllustration

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31. Bloody Sdfsakjlfjkøajjwkgktjkl

In life, Sdfsakjlfjkøajjwkgktjkl was a truly sadistic woman. Bitter at her parents for giving her such a name, and on the world for never accepting her, she would lure unsuspecting victims into her home to torture and kill them in all manners of horrific ways. She was eventually discovered and sentenced to death. During her execution she cursed the world, vowing to come back to continue her murder spree. But sadly, this never came to be. Much like the very famous Bloody Mary, Sdfsakjlfjkøajjwkgktjkl can now only be summoned by saying her name three times in the dark in front of a mirror. In other words, it has never happened.

And this concludes my list of the 31 monsters that for some reason never became famous! I really hope you have enjoyed this monstrous list! And I would love to know which one of the monsters is your favourite? Thank you for all the likes and lovely comments ❤️ Also, I will be turning this into a book, so expect some more info about that sometime in the future!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!!! 🎃🎃🎃

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30. Pineapple Head

His whole life, the Pineapple Head has dreamt of becoming the face of Halloween. He has obtained the long black cape, taught himself the evil laugh, and studied all of the spooky songs since he was old enough to form memories. Despite this, his dream has turned out to be quite difficult to pursue, as everyone seems to associate his face with sandy beaches and warm summer air instead of Halloween. Luckily, he does have another dream on the back burner. One that, once achieved, will finally give him a true sense of fulfillment: Uniting the world by becoming a pizza topping that everybody loves.

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29. Werecoffee table

When the full moon rises all kinds of creatures come out, some out of hiding while others go through a metamorphosis in the moonlight. One of these creatures are the werecoffee tables. As they painfully transition to their gruesome yet quaint form, you can hear their spine chilling howls in the distant. The werecoffee tables are creatures shrouded in mystery, which very little is known about. Some speculate they originated from a particularly spiteful curse, while others believe the very first werecoffee table spawned from a coffee-table that got tired of people always kicking its legs with their toes. What is known is that for the most of the time they are regular people just like you and me, but every full moon they transform into this still standing, sinister being, and if you’re unfortunate enough to stump your toe on one, you will become a werecoffee table too!

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28. The Switchnibbler Have you ever bought something online, only to have some garbage arrive that looks nothing like the picture? Most people blame the company for false advertising and inferior products, but the more likely reason is that the Switchnibbler has gotten a hold of your package. This creature nourishes itself by extracting the quality out of items it finds in the post. The Switchnibbler eats the package with one of its heads, and digests all of the quality out of the product before regurgitating the leftovers through its second head. The item that comes out is but a poor reflection of what it once was.

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27. Lord Can’t Be Bothered He could have been the greatest warlord in history. He was born with the power to crumble nations in the blink of an eye, make the greatest of warriors whimper in his presence and make the birds fall from the skies at the flick of the wrist. His name would have been feared throughout the world, that is, if he could only ever have bothered with the effort. As the name implies, Lord Can't Be Bothered is notoriously “over it” and downright lazy. One can only imagine the state the world would be in if he could ever be bothered to drag his ass out of his throne to make a name for himself. Spoilers, he won't...

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26. Günther

Günther is probably the most disturbing being on this list. He is always wearing some outlandish costume, while his fingers seem forever locked in that creepy-guy position. He speaks in an accent no one recognizes, and can he even get through one conversation without licking his lips? Günther may appear human, but don’t let his looks deceive you: He is a sinister creature who thrives on making his victims feel uncomfortable. And he does it oh so well. He is that person who can make everyone in the room feel uneasy just by standing there. He is one of those people that, when you look over, is always staring intensely back at you. And he is always, ALWAYS, making unwanted sexual advances towards those who come close to him. The worst part? He gets away with it, as people are unsure whether he is a total creep or just a tourist with “exotic” ways of socializing.

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25. Dragzilla Dragzilla, a lesser known member of the Godzilla family, loves only two things in life: Crushing cities under his colossal body, and drag. Sadly, combining the two passions is a constant struggle. Stomping through cities purse first, with his dragon/wyvern/lizard/dino or whatever claws forced into six inch heels, leaves his feet blistered and his ankles sore. Not to mention how flammable wigs are. But still, all of the hassle is worth it for a creature living its truth. Nothing can quite compare to being so sickening that your victims can’t help but shout Yaaass! as the buildings they are in crumble to the ground. Btw. This list of monsters is the perfect place for inspiration if you still don't know what you're gonna dress up as for this Halloween ;)

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24. The Zombiscuits Have you ever had some old person offer you a tray of ancient, disgusting biscuits, while willfully insisting that you eat one? And you find yourself reluctantly accepting the stale and smelly thing, just to be polite? Odds are you’ve been the victim of a zombiscuit. The zombiscuits manifest when musky biscuits reach the ripe old age of 50, and it’s not unheard of finding one in your grandparents cupboard. Similar to zombies, the zombiscuits only goal is to eat human brains. These creatures hypnotize old people, while granting them the power of guilt tripping. The geriatrics go on to serve the zombiscuits to guests and neighbourhood kids, who then eats them out of sheer decorum, even though they look absolutely revolting. Once inside their victims, the zombiscuits will find their way to the brain and feast. You don’t want that!

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23. Doggodusa It’s a common misconception that there are only three gorgon sisters; Medusa, Stheno and Euryale. Not many have heard of the youngest in the family, Doggodusa. Unlike her sisters who have snakes for hair, Doggodusa has puppies. The puppies are not venomous, and they will not turn you into stone if you look at them. Though not as traditionally fearsome as her sisters, eating around her is virtually torture, what with all the puppies on her head looking at you with begging eyes. Unfortunately for the ferocious Doggodusa, this does not exempt her from living in the shadow of her famous gorgon sisters.

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22. The Loch Mess Monster

The Loch Mess monster is the much lesser known cousin of the Loch Ness monster. Although from the same family tree, the Loch Mess monster is often referred to as the black sheep of the family because it can never seem to get it’s shit together. The best way to describe it is as a messy slob, it leaves a trail of murky water wherever it goes, can’t be bothered having a job and never pays its rent on time, if at all. The Loch Mess monster is pretty much a mess in all aspects of its life, and isn’t really the figurehead the family wants associated with its legend, which is why, in cooperation with the Scottish Parliament, they keep the Loch Mess monster a secret.

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21. One Night Sally

One Night Sally is a horrific creature that specifically feeds on women who’ve fallen asleep after a one night stand. She silently attacks and eats her victims before hunkering down next to their romantic encounter for the night. This way she can experience their reaction in the morning. She really gets her kicks out of that. One Night Sally’s visage is truly grotesque, with her half melted, ghoulish face and semi toothless smile, she could make anyones skin crawl. Her male equivalent is called One Night Steve. He does pretty much the exact same thing, except he only targets male victims. Though the two have been munching on victims for centuries, they have never been detected. This is probably because the most common rationalisation for waking up beside the hideous monsters is asking oneself “how drunk was I last night?”.

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20. Chitomuchera

In the old folklore we are told that a chimera is a creature with the head of a lion, the body of a goat and a snake as it’s tail. While this is true, once in a blue moon something different is born. This creature is called the Chitomuchera and is known to be, as one would call it, a little extra. Not only is this creature comprised of parts of a lion, goat and snake, it’s also composed of parts from a crocodile, rabbit, giraffe and pretty much every other animal you could think of and to be honest, ain't nobody got time for that.

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19. The Headless Horse Man

Most of you may already have heard the legend of the headless horseman, riding in the dead of night tormenting villages around the countryside. What you may not know is that this legend is one of history's biggest misconceptions, solely due to a clerical error. The villagers were notoriously awful spellers, especially in regard to compound words. Were they one word or two? When, if ever, were hyphens appropriate? This resulted in all the written accounts referring to him as the headless horseman, and not, as would have been correct, the headless horse man. So you can imagine peoples disappointment when he showed up with his head still firmly attached to his neck. The headless horse man has since gone into hiding, too embarrassed to show his face. In order for him to live up to his own legend he would have to remove his own head, which he understandably is still putting off.

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18. Old Felina Born with all the talent and potential in the world, Felina was once an incredibly promising young witch. She was even voted most likely to end the world at her witch school. But all of that changed when she got her first cat. At first it was all just for fun. Getting in a few hours of recreational cuddling and buying a couple balls of yarn. Unfortunately, things quickly escalated for Felina. She became increasingly addicted to her cat and soon started experimenting with heavier cats. Before she knew it, Felina was spending all her money and time on them. She could have been the greatest witch of her generation, but is now only known as that tragic cat junkie at the end of the street. 🐱

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17. Hank Y. Panky Hank Yanus Panky was an extraordinarily average man. He had a loving wife, two children, and a steady job at the local bank. His friends and family would describe him as kind, reasonably intelligent and mind-witheringly dull. You can imagine their shock when they learned that Hank suffocated to death while participating in an orgy. Turns out wearing a ball gag and having a stuffy nose at the same time is not a very good idea. Unfortunately for Hank, what you’re wearing when you die is what you’re stuck with in the afterlife. He is often found hovering around the cemetery with strawberries in one hand and whipped cream in the other. His family doesn’t really talk about it. Not sure what to say about this one...

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16. The Lidlocker No one knows how a lidlocker is created. Some believe they manifest from scorned women, others are convinced they simply grow out of highly unsanitary lavatories. What is known about the lidlockers is that they exclusively target single men, and have made many a bachelor cry. They love nothing more than causing panic and chaos by putting down the toilet seat in a bachelor pad. The men living there become paranoid since they don’t know how a girl got into the apartment, and in the confusion they start blaming each other, often ending in complete pandemonium. Meanwhile the lidlockers continue their toilet mischief, one toilet lid at a time.

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15. Stock the Ripper With the precision of a surgeon, Stock the Ripper will use his claw-like hand to tear his victims stockings when they quite frankly don’t need it. He loves the smell of distress and anguish from people finding runs in their stockings after ever so carefully putting them on. Stock the Ripper is a tiny bastard of a creature who travels the world looking for new victims. He is most active during holidays such as Halloween and New Years eve, or right before that job interview. His name is shrouded in mystery, and since his victims tend to blame the runs in the stockings on wonky zippers or jagged toenails, much is yet to be learned about him. Fortunately, I haven't encountered this one to often ^^