🌀number one boy🌀

| oliver he/him |

[diaryofaferalgod]

good morning freaks, i am. Tired

[laceration-d0ll]

(playing chess) queen takes knight? like right now? promise??

[tricktack]

you. person with dermatillomania and/or trichotillomania. what are you doing right now and should you be doing that. ok thank you for your time

[crabanarchy]

They say ooooh be a good boy for daddy and you'll get a reward. But then the reward is just gay sex. This is bullshit. I wanted a skateboard

[crabanarchy]

Then they say if you're a bad boy daddy will punish you. But what's the punishment? More gay sex! You can't escape it. This whole damn place is in the pocket of Big Sex

[mynorthernattitude]

please accept my sincerest oopsie daises

[finalset]

the summer is for having the worst time of your life

[doyoulovethewayzeylily]

are you "self-aware" or are you intellectualizing your emotions because you don't know how to feel them?

[mourningkite]

Underground is a weird place

[helicalsymmetry]

8 hours of decent sleep will have you thinking things like 'i am a beautiful horse and i will never die'

[helicalsymmetry]

2 hours of bad sleep will have you thinking things like 'i am a stranded whale and i need to be covered in dynamite in an ill-advised attempt to clear the beach'

[asmrgaret]

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

[asmrgaret]

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

[ashoss]

“word hashtag my word #myword” has done irreversible damage to my vocabulary

[luetta]

you want me so bad it makes you look Intelligent and good taste

[pnglove]

[ilovetodrinkwater]

Simon and gar phone call

[funstyle]

the number one rule of being an adult is Dont Think About Anything That Happened In 9th Grade

[chaoticneutralwife]

*mumbling and grumbling* maybe i wanted to win stupid prizes *kicks dirt*

[anguilliforme]

would you still love me if i was a small iridescent freshwater fish

[anguilliforme]

would you still love me if i was a small iridescent freshwater fish