Snoot

Aro Some shade of ace Agender Art sometimes

[eggwug]

This is snoot

Snoot likes to play the snute

They’re really quite talented

Snoot wants to see the world burn

But also likes to relax in a bubble

[stability]

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

This is why I strongly advocate for an alien invasion movie but set in like 1142. The Anarchy is in full swing. 

it’d be so good. Everyone would map theological explanations of the aliens onto them. It’d be so much fun. 

Aliens: Take us to your leader.  Jocelyn, Peasant: All right. Um, which one? Are you for King Stephen or the Empress Maude?  Aliens: Um– Jocelyn: I recommend Empress Maude. King Stephen is a lying usurper.  Aliens: All right, Empress Maude. Take us to her.  Jocelyn: I always new God was on our side.  Aliens:  Jocelyn: You’re angels right? Come to bring us portends and tidings of the divine?  Aliens: Or to massacre you. Jocelyn: That makes sense. We’re very sinful. We deserve whatever punishment it is God has seen fit to bestow upon us.  Aliens:  Aliens:  Aliens: Wow. 

[hollowtones]

basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood that’s inside of your body, and they’re like… a vampire, or a dracula, or some sort of mansquito, then that’s probably okay. a dracula and a mansquito are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body. that’s basically fine.

if something wants to get at your blood, and they’re, say, some kind of murdersaurus, or maybe a really big frog, that’s where the problems start to arise. a really frog is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out. 

unfortunately this will not deter a really big frog, because a really big frog is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of hatred, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.

[fidefortitude-deactivated202011]

These words scan with a fantastic degree of confidence considering that together they make no sense at all

[goth-queen]

[only-cat-memes]

[sleepy-bebby]

[mommyhorror]

”you are a lawyer he is a hamster” 😭😭😭😭

[biglawbear]

Losing my mind rn

[talonabraxas]

‘Thoth and the Chief Magician’, 1925. Evelyn Pau

[ca314159bara]

[spinach-productions]

I love tumblr. I fucking love tumblr. Where else am I going to find shit like this

[mogifire]

the colors of the sunrise

[harmonic-motion]

Do you like the color of the sky?  miniature version

[just-another-cat-blog]

pride month!!!

[lemonsharks]

Is that a miette?

[jeanjauthor]

Pride for you!  Pride for a thousand years!!

[lost-and-cursed]

you COME OUT to miette? you come out to her as queer? oh! oh! pride for mother! pride for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!

[daysleftofsecondterm]

pride for mother on 964 days left

[deadandphilgames]

i was speaking with a guy i work with and when leaving i said okay see you monday and he went oh no i wont be in monday. im going bald. and i said ?you're what? and he just repeated im going bald monday. wont be in

[deadandphilgames]

update: he didn’t show up on Monday and on Tuesday he was bald

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

He couldn't have been clearer.

[you-need-not-apply]

Bro I just nearly fucking died

[you-need-not-apply]

My throats fucked but I like inhaled toothpaste and my throat seized up and I couldn’t breathe worst part is I spat toothpaste everywhere trying to get it out of my mouth and my throat is like fuzzy now?? Water did not help honey tea might

[you-need-not-apply]

Dude I was dry heaving into a sink barely breathing and my brain went “this is gonna make a sick ass tumblr story”

[epistleii]

is this accurate

[you-need-not-apply]

Absolutely flawless how did you get these photos?

[dancinbutterfly]

I can never leave here

[cyberjock-deactivated20250329]

[moddys-personal-stuff]

oh

[cuntboysupremacy]

girl helppp

[cuntboysupremacy]

forcefemmed future self

[cuntboysupremacy]

the replies are even worse

[radiosandrecordings]

Scottish government currently has a bunch of ads up to get screened for lung cancer, but for some reason they’ve decided to personify cancer as some sort of gothic butch milf and I’m obsessed with her

[a-random-fandom-friend]

I know I already said it in a reblog 2 years ago, but... the french orangina ads :

[fantasticsacabambaspis]

No way thats called Orangina

[teaboot]

“Why are you scared of dating” I’m not scared of dating, I just haven’t found anyone’s company to be more enjoyable than my own. And also I don’t care

[justlightmeonfire]

I just don't want anyone to steal my very cursed amulet

[teaboot]

Also the amulet

[whimsicalmayhem]

Is that you talking? Or the amulet? Are you SURE a new hand doesn't want to touch the beacon?

[teaboot]

The amulet and I are not currently looking for a third

[madeofklay]

I saw this perfectly in my head and had to recreate it

[teaboot]

Holy Shit

[dongwater]

I’m losing my fucking shit because my mom is getting catfished by a guy that sends her pictures like this and it never once occurred to her that this….isnt a real picture that a real person would ever take, ever

[squided]

me sitting in my la quinta inn room with my $10 million in solid gold bars

[etcstims]

This noble weevil | source

[stopoftouchingmywingsihurt]

[smallrat36wagon-deactivated2021]

LOL whos tye saultry little binch on the bottom lsft????

[foxyclock]

this post is less than 1% away from being completely incomprehensible