EgotisticalTesticle

I am the greatest testicle, you could say I’m egotesticle

[egotisticaltesticle]

I hate lil Aarons song “Hot Topic”

To clarify, i love the song, but every single time the intro to “I write sins, not tragedies” comes on and i am fooled by this song, i get closer to the psyche ward.

[egotisticaltesticle]

How intrusive are yalls thoughts? Cause i vary between “i would look good in a skirt” and “i must kill 47 thousand to avenge the loss of my innocence under the oppressive humans have built to entrap themselves”

Or both.

[locura-azul]

[egotisticaltesticle]

It's my 7 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

YIPPEEE

[depsidase]

[egotisticaltesticle]

Yall ever just look at something and realize how shitty the textures are IRL? Like come on you’re telling me this is the best you could do making a chair? “That tree Doesnt even look real you copy pasted it from this one.” And you get those times where EVERYTHING is 4k HD, then where everything is 420p? Just me?

[frocio]

i love it when italians argue about italian. like we don’t even know how our language really works we just roll with it

[frocio]

[iphisesque]

Italian is 107 different provincial languages stuck together with spit and half a prayer

[frogcoded]

My bf lives in another region and we are constantly arguing about regional variations of words and we both live in the fucking north of Italy

[putaemo-cional]

one time i saw a map of italy but instead of cities and roads etc it was just covered w different ways you can say the word vagina. it was covered

[frocio]

oh I can think of at least seven ways to say the word vagina right off the top of my head rn. I can’t imagine what I could do if I tried harder

[criptochecca]

Fjgkahfmangksoajufnajejgnanfjakirjvjjs

[fishbizkit]

this is the Italian Vagina Map, reblog to… I’m not sure actually. Can’t hurt though. 

[cannot-think-of-a-cute-name]

reblog to Italian season your pussy

[tilthat]

TIL “Yankee Doodle” was written by the British to mock americans. “Doodle” is thought to come from the German “dödel”, meaning “fool” or “simpleton” and “macaroni,” a flamboyantly stylish type of dress, painting the Yankees as morons who thought placing a feather in one’s cap made them a “dandy.”

via reddit.com

[toastpotent-deactivated20250619]

so you’re telling me that “stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni” would be like saying “wrote a G on his belt and called it gucci”

[beggars-opera]

that’s…a pretty good analogy actually

[ti-bae-rius]

US moron came to town

Hunting for some coochie

Wrote a G up on his belt

And this bitch called it Gucci

[ti-bae-rius]

Seeing my notifications get flooded with this every July 4th is the only thing I respect about America

[thebirdroads]

the best trope in media is: “characters turn on the lights, see the monster, and immediately turn the lights back off”

[birdnerd18]

[dr-algernop-deactivated20220313]

[kdramasoverflowers]

girl crush

[s1n-am0n-deactivated20210627]

[wetsnail]

best part is, in that scene she actually says ‘are there girls who don’t like [as in being attracted to] girls?’, which means she thought being a wlw was literally a universal experience for women. that kind of makes the scene cuter if you ask me. this is from ‘Doctors’ btw.

[fluffyrabidkitten]

Up until like 7th grade I also thought that everyone was gay except for the people on TV and let me tell you, I was very upset and confused when I found out about heterosexuals.

[kakuseis]

“I was very upset and confused when I found out about heterosexuals.”

[misterramen]

—

I had another dream, I had another life

No one saw the blood on my hands

When I woke, I was there alone

Where will it end?

After the twilight, always a sunrise

But the glow of morning comes with small arms fire

Ignore the deadline, there’s no divine right

Enter the gods and all the sacred signs

At the end of your line

— Good Luck by Broken Bells

Was going for something like an comic book cover

Been noodling away on this for too long and I need to move on 😔

To quote my friend, I’m trying to make Benny fuckable in 2019 lmao

[egotisticaltesticle]

Good lick

[official-cisphobe]

here’s a random word generator–whatever word it gives you is now the thing you are the deity of

[kintatsujo]

… I’m the god of church

There’d already be a lot to unpack there but guess what my day job is?

Church custodian

[karalynlovescake]

What up comrades, apparently I’m the god of communist .

[beeeeeeeeeess]

Disappointment… I-

[viostormcaller]

I am the god of pierce. Who is pierce and why am i the god of them i Do Not Know them

[egotisticaltesticle]

I am the god of “Bible”, and let me just say I abandoned humanity for a reason... too much hate amongst themselves

[egotisticaltesticle]

Some out of context tumblr for y’all

[cries-in-espanol-deactivated202]

we may not have been able to save brandon. but the fight is far from over.

this is dustin john higgs.

in 1996, he was convicted of kidnapping and murdering three women and was sentenced to death.

this conviction is entirely false. he didn’t murder anybody.

he has been found not guilty of the crime. at this point, the only reason he remains in jail is because he was at the scene of the crime. the court also claims that he bullied willis hayes, the man who actually did murder the three women, into killing them. however, willis hayes has come forward and has admitted that dustin DID NOT commit the crime, and he’s also even confessed that dustin never bullied him into murdering the trio of women. but the court won’t accept it.

DUSTIN JOHN HIGGS IS SCHEDULED TO BE EXECUTED ON JANUARY 15, 2021. HE IS GOING TO BE EXECUTED FOR A CRIME HE DID NOT COMMIT AT ALL. WE CAN’T LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN.

Sign the Petition

To get Dustin John Higgs off death row

@esspress0depress0 @thesevenumbrellas @real-tua-facts @thetrueihaveaname @youngsamberg @umbrellas-be-falling @peterbparkers @amystiago @stranger-umbrellas @glitched-coffee @letsgoravendors @kakakuroo @klaus-is-the-real-number-1 @itty-bitty-rampaging-committee @mariarreynolds @benhargrieves @number5theboy @millicent-is-goose @caseoftheblues @27-umbrellas @the-aro-ace-arrow-ace @the-umbrella-academy-confessions @studentlifeproblems @sunriseseance here’s another chain post for you. you guys know the drill, please make sure to tag anybody you can think of to make sure this message gets somewhere.

[corsolanite]

❤︎ Various Pokémon that Meowth has fallen for ❤︎

[1inactive2-deactivated20191203]

that purrloin was a dude tho 😂

[naturaltropius-deactivated20200]

[arsenicgodhead]

Meowth’s original English V.O. was a trans woman if you don’t think Meowth is LGBT think again

[cockyroaches]

“it was a dude tho 😂” and? Cry me a river he’s bi and you can get These Hands

[lgbt-icons-bruh]

Die mad about Meowth

[meowthpropaganda]

this is my favourite fucking post

[yeah-asbestos]

A+

[fluffygif]

Distinguished gentleman

[clearnorthernskyy]

Not to be gay on main.... But all I want is to live in a small medieval town. I'm the town baker. My bakery is my home and I'm always wearing an apron and covered in flour.

Nextdoor is a forge, and I am very close with the blacksmith that works there. Every morning I bring him a freshly baked loaf of bread. As I hand it to him our hands touch briefly. His hands are rough, yet they're so careful and gentle with everything he touches. I secretly want him to be that gentle with me.

One day, he walks into my bakery, he's still sweaty from the intense heat of the forge. In his hands is a small dagger in it's sheath. He hands it to me and tells me it's to protect myself if needed.

I take the dagger out of it's sheath. It's beautifully made. There are intricate designs engraved into the metal. It's so much more complicated than anything else yeah blacksmith has ever made. It must've been so time consuming to make.

I look up at him and with just one look I understand why he's giving it to me. With one look we both understand that we love each other. He leans in and kisses me. It's so soft and sweet, and gentle.

He comes by every day to get a loaf of bread and kiss me. We keep our relationship a secret. And everyone wonders why neither of us have found wives. But we know exactly why. And we're completely content with being secret lovers.

Is that really too much to ask?

[mikerickson]

[official-josh]