The Last Debauch

[tropiyas]

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

always some new bullshit in the ocean

[local-demon-in-your-area]

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

[clockoftheheart]

thank you journalism

[pronouncingitwang]

[ID: 2 screenshots of interview text. The first reads

PLAYBOY: Do you ever get tired of talking about your friendship with Matt?

AFFLECK: I understand the questions. Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, they're friends, they're pals, they grew up together, isn't it great and cute? I get all kinds of questions, like, "So how's Matt?" or "What's Matt like?" And I don't know what sort of answers are expected.

Instead of saying Matt's fine and he's doing his thing, I'II be like, "Well, let me tell you about Matt. Matt can give a blow job in a way that's incredible, really special." Most of the time it's like Entertainment Tonight, and they can't air it. But then sometimes you think you're safe, but someone writes it down and it ends up being taken out of context in Out magazine.

PLAYBOY: Does Matt ever get pissed off about that?

AFFLECK: Matt gets it. We have a similar sense of humor, which I think is the main reason we're compatible as friends and in terms of writing. He always thinks it's funny. It's just a question of the rest of them.

PLAYBOY: Let's see if you've learned your lesson: What is Matt Damon really like?

AFFLECK: [Laughs] He gives a really great blow job.

The second reads

PLAYBOY: In his 1999 Playboy Interview, Affleck jokingly said of you, "He gives a really great blow job." Care to return the compliment?

DAMON: I do give great head. I definitely give a better blow job than Ben. I mean, I'm not lucky enough to be able to blow myself, but if I could, I'd never leave the house.

/end ID]

[ekebolou]

jumpscare: meant to open my silly stories accidentally opened the talk I gave yesterday that I was still working on literally 15 minutes before giving it

[celestial-fang]

Can I offer you a twink Janissary in this trying time

[galileosballs]

The 'ingredients you can pronounce means it's healthy' line implies a world in which the kind of nutrition a person requires scales with their biology education and grasp of phonics. Which isn't true, of course, but sure would imply some interesting worldbuilding if it were

[bumblebeebats]

"Potassium cyanide. Arsenic trioxide. Polonium 210. Tetrachlorodibenzodioxin," I say, smugly and with full confidence, before downing the glass of wine my political rival insisted on pouring for me. Seconds later, she watches with a smirk as I collapse writhing to the ground, in the knowledge that I never could hit that "R" in "pinot noir" quite right

[escuerzoresucitado]

[clove-pinks]

New rule where if you create a fictional guy from the late 18th century, you CANNOT just give him a sleazy ponytail: it has to be some period-correct weird shit like a mullet with a braid pinned to the back of his head.

[eternalgirlscout]

you can't say "hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby" on a poll with a 60/40 split. that's hydrogen bomb vs regular bomb

[prokopetz]

Pipe bomb versus somewhat smaller pipe bomb.

[thecolorofthegame]

Hydrogen baby va coughing bomb

[rudywiser]

Two bombs, both alike in dignity, in fair tumblr, where we lay our scene

[heedra]

really losing my patience for any 'feminist' statement to the tune of 'we need feminism because women fill a fundamentally different and necessary role than men and will be better at doing x y or z'. like actually i think we need feminism because it is an unbearable death of the spirit by inches to exist in a world where you are not seen as a fully realized human being because of a single cultural determination, and because a world that enshrines such things creates systems that are fundamentally sick to the core

[evilwizard]

warrior who came to me for advice: i just don’t know if i should listen to the telepathic trees, who say i should save the forest, or my adopted wolf mother, who says i should cut it down to build my city. that’s why i came to you… should i go with Psi Ents or Dog Ma?

me: your existence feels fairly contrived

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I don't remember telepathic trees being part of the creation of Rome

[zoraluigi]

Well yeah, that's cause Romulus decided to listen to Dog Ma

[celestial-fang]

[celestial-fang]

Instead of the new dogshit Odyssey film you should watch Iphigenia (1977). It’s made by actual Greek people and focuses on a mother-daughter relationship to explore how women are sacrificed by powerful men in times of war. Also the main actress has the face of an angel 🙏 the whole movie is available on YT with English subtitles.

[celestial-fang]

Plugging this once again to remind you that my queen Irene Papas is also in it!! It’s unfair just how gorgeous and ethereal everyone looks

[anti-parent]

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

[anti-parent]

fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"

[antoniettabrandeisova]

Coucher de Soleil Sur la Mer, Constantin Westchiloff (Russian, 1877–1945)

[hedgehog-moss]

Après-midi tranquille au torrent

[specialagentartemis]

Intelligent alien species based on bugs but specifically those moths that don’t have mouths and only live for a week after they pupate. This species’ whole conscious life is actually in the larval phase; larvae are the ones considered people, larvae are the ones with conscious and complex brains who build society, and each instar of the larva is treated as a different phase of life. Larvae become emotionally and socially and cognitively mature without ever becoming sexually mature. When they pupate, they metamorphose into something different and strange and close to mindless, with no mouth and no digestive system, whose only instincts are to mate and then quickly die. Metamorphosis is treated, functionally, like a person’s death, and the imago phase is a kind of proto-afterlife of majestic flight and the continuation of the species. Birth and death inextricably intertwined. Sex is not something people do during their lives, it’s a thing that is done as an imago after you’ve passed on from your life but before you return to the soil in death. Resultant eggs are collected by family members to raise. I think this would be fun.

[tamanduaclaws]

@derinthescarletpescatarian Have you seen this yet?

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

No, but I've been incubating a society similar to this since reading Sheri Tepper's Grass about a year ago.