affirmations they will not kill me at work today. it is not in my job description to get killed. if they did kill me at work that would be weird and probably not worth it for them

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Keni

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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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Misplaced Lens Cap
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@elaine-moon
affirmations they will not kill me at work today. it is not in my job description to get killed. if they did kill me at work that would be weird and probably not worth it for them
Hello, I work for a large moderately evil corporation and for at least five years now I have to sign a yearly thing to say I will never ever have one of these devices in the same room as me while I work.
My large moderately evil employer takes it for granted that these things are spying on me at all times, and you should too.
if you fall from grace enough times eventually you’ll get really good at sticking the landing
[staggering to my feet and wiping a single perfect drip of blood from my mouth] i have to get back on my bullshit. no matter the cost
"focaccia, serves 4" yes all 4 me
"tiramisu, serves 2" yes all 2 myself
Pizza, serves 8, yes I 8 it all.
Not everything is a curse, sometimes it’s just Tuesday
hot take possibly? but i actually think it’s okay for things to be marketed for adults. it’s literally okay if things aren’t suitable for children. i feel like we are losing the plot
Correct. Furthermore: children bending or breaking the rules to get a peek at something that's not intended for them is a part of growing up.
what doesn’t kill you makes your nervous system more sensitive for the rest of your life
There is no greater bond on this earth than when you all despise and carry untold righteous anger about one person and then when you’re all together someone is like “so about that dead horse” and everyone starts sounding like Michael Jackson with the way they’re chanting beat it
You can begin this process at any time, regardless of how old you have become.
unrestrained summer fun
every year around late may, without fail, this post starts getting notes again . and my little wet raw chicken breast of a brain gets puzzled. because i forget that summer is , in fact. a yearly event
Thank you divorce for all you've done for music
sister post to this
when your roommate is a really handsome woman by 于钦然
i honestly dont get why people stopped reblogging things they like on here bc like what are you afraid of??? people thinking youre cringey?? guess what bitch! youre on tumblr! it's all cringey! reblog everything you like and do it shamelessly no one fuckin cares
Bc I know some of y'all are about to have a fit in the notes
real paramedic x golden retriever firefighter AU energy with this