Do you hear the screams yet?

20's Gore whore Cat dad Philosophical deadbeat dropout With him, but always

[eldrichscream]

'Sup Nerds

Eldrich. 25+. He/Him. I talk about my boyfriend a lot. Writer. Coder (in training). Goal: Full time author. Co-Cat dad. English is not my first language. I feel like it shouldn't need to be said. But, minors DNI. Darkshipper. Pro-fic. Consumer of Darkfic.

I'm not sure how to really order the following information, so just scroll until you find what you followed me for:

Writing:

All writing/editing updates for AO3 will happen on @cryptidly-insane because I am that person that likes some separation of my content, and I find that I'm enjoying ranting on here and posting little things that make me happy.

If you want to see my musings and yellings about fandom, though, you can follow this tag

Sometimes, I might want to take a brain break with my boyfriend and go on little walks through writing, tropes, and ships to see what sticks. For those one-shot type things y'all can go to the study break tag, which will be hosted on this blog.

And, you can find my expansive, yet small, list of OTPs/NOTPs here

Interests (now with tags and some spotlight posts!):

Rants tag: The Genealogy Rant

Coding tag (for my ramblings while I'm learning about it, and trying to figure out how the hell to get a job): Not in use yet.

F1 tag: Immediate reaction to Lando Norris winning WDC

Twenty øne piløts tag: Drag Path: As told by Eldrich (Alt: My response to clikkies' reaction to the song)

Teen Wolf tag: A little rant based on emotions

Stray Kids tag: Not in use yet.

And if anyone is interested in condensing the asks I get, you can go to this tag (Although, I would not recommend because I'm extremely awkward in one-to-one interactions)

Welcome to the madness, go crazy here. I dare you.

[pinkypkmntrainer]

i'm anti censorship and anti harrassment, therefore:

i will always advocate for readers who enjoy adult romance and dark romance

i will always advocate for fans of lolishota

i will always advocate for fanfic and original fiction authors who write about rape, incest, predators, etc.

i will always advocate for mindsets such as "ship and let ship", "don't like don't read", "your kink is not my kink and that's okay", "thought crimes don't exist", etc.

i will always advocate for people who enjoy sexual roleplay involving rape, incest, or other taboos, by themselves or with a consenting partner

i will always advocate for dark, taboo fiction and fiction with upsetting themes to exist in its own space, where people who want to see it can find it, and people who don't want to see it can avoid it

[eldrichscream]

See, the main problem with Heated Rivalry and Hudcon right now is that they're making me believe in myself in the unhinged, delusional way again.

And that is really what's unhealthy about this whole rise to stardom. Because you see them happy and living their lives and being them. And suddenly, you believe in yourself and that your unattainable dreams are completely achievable.

Stupid Canadian Land Leopard.

[eldrichscream]

Like

Good beta feedback? Got it

Agented? Gonna happen.

Six figure offer? Hell yes.

TV/Film offers? In the bag.

Hudson Williams playing the MMC? Inevitable.

Overnight sensation? Expected.

Those are my thoughts right now. That's what this whole Press Tour is making me believe. It's actually. Crazy work they're doing.

[eldrichscream]

See, the main problem with Heated Rivalry and Hudcon right now is that they're making me believe in myself in the unhinged, delusional way again.

And that is really what's unhealthy about this whole rise to stardom. Because you see them happy and living their lives and being them. And suddenly, you believe in yourself and that your unattainable dreams are completely achievable.

Stupid Canadian Land Leopard.

[noahreids]

Hudson Williams Glambot - 2026 Golden Globes

[eldrichscream]

We have watched Heated Rivalry beginning through to the end twice today. This is a prison that I'm never going to get out of. And I am...not complaining.

My delusional ass saying I can write Teen Wolf with archived memories. I'll be proven wrong soon, but until then, I'll live under the assumption that I only need to watch Heated Rivalry until the end of time to keep feeling serotonin.

[eldrichscream]

I don't know what Hudson, Connor, and Heated Rivalry did to the world. But, I feel like I was in a time capsule and like the last decade has been just. A fucking fever dream of some sorts.

Anyway, I'm going to go and write my mid 2010s fanfiction and make mid 2000s - mid 2010 playlists and irritate my cats. For a moment, it's feeling damn good to be alive.

[eldrichscream]

Some part of me gets irritated with myself that I'm writing so slowly and that the big Sterek fic I started in November isn't done yet. That the Hollanov fic I started two days ago isn't done yet. Hell, that the Tibbs fics I started three years ago aren't done (those are different though, because it's not a consistent three years of working on them).

But then I think about how I want it to be good to the standard that I know I'm capable of. I want to leave space for editing that I know my boyfriend will love doing with me. And it's important for me to remember that I'm rebuilding my writing craft from scratch.

Moving away from academic and analytical writing that I got used to throughout University. Moving away from the fast, short form I always needed for the circles I was in. And taking that talent and drive for storytelling that I had at sixteen and eighteen. The writing that felt real and cathartic. The writing that I started rediscovering in 2023, and then pushed back for another two years.

And most of all. I'm not using AI. So, of course it's going to take longer, because I'm creating something real, not sharing some hivemind machine learning shit.

So, if there are any other writers that go through this feeling that gets irritated and frustrated with themselves. Just think about everything you're doing with your writing. How beautiful it really is, and how the process in itself can be rewarding.

[eldrichscream]

Never thought I'd be tandem writing Sterek and Hollanov.

Especially thinking that it's two completely different stories (the only similarity is that canon meets the trashcan). With Sterek it's all about Stiles putting his foot down and learning/accepting some hard truths. With Hollanov the goal is off the charts hurt/comfort to both sides of the spectrum in its extreme. (Let's see if I can remember how to write angst after so long)

Only 7 days in and 2026 is already so differently aligned than the last decade.

Kind of crazy, kind of scary, at the same time, though? Very healing.

[eldrichscream]

I made a joke to my boyfriend earlier about the Club Scene about how what Ilya's wearing would send Yurio into a coma and he would need to have it. And probably make him foam at the mouth to take a picture and immediately post on Instagram and live in it.

He said he can see it, and now I can't unsee Hollanov as OtaYuri if they were in YOI.

[eldrichscream]

It's 2026 and I'm still thinking about how Sterek had the most chemistry in that damned show.

And how it would have been a slow burn type of love that can only be rivaled by...you know, probably Shane and Ilya's 10 year plan of harrowing pain, love, and fear.

It would have been writing for the ages if it wasn't just used as a device to keep fans interested and drawing more people to the franchise.

Maybe something even starts clicking when they're both possessed by the Nogitsune and it wasn't mentioned only once after Season 3B and never elaborated on (from what I've seen. I don't think I'll ever watch past Season 3B fully. My boyfriend and I tried, and I think we lasted...three episodes? Maybe four?)

God, I need to get back to writing my fic. Which I will, but December came for me with a vengeance and I spent the past day writing fucking essays about Heated Rivalry, autism and personal identity on Ellipsus and I'm definitely going to convince my boyfriend to watch another episode with me when he comes back from work because I ain't nothing if not a bad influence)

And Jackson. Y'all JACKSON. That man deserved so much more as a character. I still think he should have been a Hale, more specifically Peter's son.

And lastly, if Jeff Davis has no haters, then you should know that I'm dead. (By proxy, probably my boyfriend too, because he will keep the torch of hate lit in remembrance of me)

At least fanfic exists.

EDIT: My boyfriend calls me when he drives home from work. And I thought I'd be cute and read this post to him (because he loves to support my fandom endeavours no matter how crazy) AND NOW HE'S YELLING AT ME BECAUSE I CALLED MYSELF A BAD INFLUENCE and he's making me edit this, at gunpoint, because he's PERSONALLY offended that I called myself a bad influence for wanting to watch more of a show when he was the one who asked to watch the show in the first place and just last night he was the one who put on Episode 1 when we finished Episode 6 because he was the one who also wanted to keep watching.

So, in conclusion. I'm not a bad influence and my boyfriend is just as obsessed with Heated Rivalry as I am, if not more (although, I think that's a stretch).

[soul-wanderer]

peak autistic behaviour, waking your boyfriend up at 5am for a business meeting to discuss the five year plan you've spent the night hyperfocusing on

and peak supportive boyfriend behaviour, to briefly grumble about it but then listen to said five year plan anyway

[eldrichscream]

And then said autistic boyfriend acts shocked when said supportive boyfriend calls himself his boyfriend. Almost like his autistic self didn't spend the night hyperfocusing on a plan to keep boyfriend with him forever so that he doesn't have a reason to marry his hot female friend for passport reasons.

[soul-wanderer]

It's because they never defined what they were and sweet, sweet autistic Shane Hollander needs verbal confirmation because what if this still casual? Despite making retirement plans together but nobody said the word boyfriend out loud, so they surely can't be that, so of course it surprises Shane when to Ilya it's been clear, because he understands subtext, but Shane does not, and Ilya being the sweet, sweet boyfriend he is, is happy to confirm it to Shane, even if it surprises him just as much that Shane hadn't deduced this after making retirement plans together

[eldrichscream]

Bet after that happened Shane still went home and double checked with Ilya that he meant what he said, and then 20 corrections and additions were made to future plans because it didn't include them DATING and "What do you mean Ilya wants do DATE me? ME!?"

And Ilya is just watching all of this happen from a corner with a soft smile on his face while Shane is pacing and trying to figure out when it all happened.

[soul-wanderer]

peak autistic behaviour, waking your boyfriend up at 5am for a business meeting to discuss the five year plan you've spent the night hyperfocusing on

and peak supportive boyfriend behaviour, to briefly grumble about it but then listen to said five year plan anyway

[eldrichscream]

And then said autistic boyfriend acts shocked when said supportive boyfriend calls himself his boyfriend. Almost like his autistic self didn't spend the night hyperfocusing on a plan to keep boyfriend with him forever so that he doesn't have a reason to marry his hot female friend for passport reasons.

[eldrichscream]

Heated Rivalry: Thoughts

Heated Rivalry. What I saw about it initially was just "happy gay hockey show", and there was not exactly a…bias in my head? But a bias, and I was honestly not planning on watching it. Until my boyfriend came to me and asked me to watch it with him (and, really. How can I say no to him?)

Needless to say. We've watched it three times already, two of those watches happening in one day. So, like I do with everything here, have my thoughts.

A/N: I am, I would say, autism final boss (yes, that's a threat). I also haven't read the book yet, so this is through the lens of my autism as well as only having watched the show. Also, definite spoilers ahead, so if you haven't watched it and want to remain spoiler-free, scroll for your own wellbeing.

I'm going to start from before I watched the show. So, I didn't watch it partly because of hype. Partly because of previous Queer media I've watched and lastly because of TikTok. How people were talking about it, all of the morality police resurgence and making people feel like shit for enjoying something. So, I did go into watching this with extreme caution. And trying to put down everything that was going on and to see it through my boyfriend's eyes.

So, I was honestly hooked from the moment I heard the lighter click. Which, I know, happens in the first second but there is just something psychological linked to a smoking character (at least for me). And we're immediately faced with Shane introducing himself to Ilya, which is just a moment that's so near and dear to my heart. It's Ilya, who is a standoffish Russian addicted to danger and power plays where he can control a situation, faced with the antithesis of everything he's ever known. Earnest, snarky Shane who isn't drawn to Ilya for the purposes of how he can be used as a tool of defiance, but just that he's transfixed.

And then seeing throughout the episode how really Shane approaching Ilya first made the dam break, and the rest of the times it was Ilya pulling Shane into his orbit, which both tracks for his character, and doesn't. Because, I get the feeling that Ilya is usually the one continuously approached (kind of emphasised with Sasha later). And I'm not saying that the dam broke and it was instant love, but rather that Ilya went into it thinking that this would be like every other relationship he's had.

And how they grew from rivals to flirting to a full blown situationship to love is just. Amazing to watch.

I can also only imagine how much introspective thoughts and dialogue is in the book because of Shane's microexpressions (this is also a nod to Hudson as an actor because, he really did a top tier job with this) and how you can see when he's overflowing with emotions or words, but needing to keep it inside. It's almost like you can see every single thought on his face, which is beautifully tragic. You can see the love, the hurt, the pain, when he completely shuts down and goes numb but still externally seems happy and excited.

And then on the other side of that you have Ilya that's almost inbetween Shane and Svetlana, and I can write so much about Ilya and Svetlana, but Ilya and Shane is really where you see that breakdown. You see Ilya's resistance, the distance, the pain, the moment he falls, the moment he wants to break it off and then when he realises that fighting is a futile effort.

It's about how what they're doing starts as lust, the need to be closer, attraction. And then it splits off and turns into the slowest burn (only rivaled by Destiel) with Ilya taking care of Shane, Shane pulling Ilya into his world emotionally, the thread of the D/S dynamic that's sprinkled in that affects both of them so deeply.

And, I do love Scott and Kip. They are the domestic kings that know what they want and they truly go after it. But, I will mostly be talking about Shane and Ilya and most likely skipping episode 3 because my opinions for that one will get me shot.

I consistently feel like I want to talk about every single aspect of this show. So. Maybe I will do that, and maybe you'll be here to see.

So, I'm not exactly sure what I came for with this show. Some people came for the gay. Some people came for the hockey. I did honestly because my boyfriend said please. And I stayed for the absolute masterful storytelling, internal conflicts and seeing how it bleeds through the scars.

I don't think I'd ever be able to get tired of this show, or these characters.

Honestly, fantastic job to Jacob Tierney, Hudson Williams, Connor Storrie, and everyone else that took part in this fantastic project. And double kudos to Rachel Reid for bringing Shane and Ilya to us.

[eldrichscream]

The Genealogy Rant nobody was waiting for

My mother got into genealogy a couple of years ago. And for the longest time I was only superficially interested. I will admit, part of it was because I had always been put into a box of what and who I am, and I accepted it without too much argument.

Then, as most of these stories start, my boyfriend crashed into my life. And he's such a bright light, unrestrained, and my soul started yearning. To know who I am, where I come from.

See, the big secret is that I've always felt unmoored. Alien in the country where I was born, while my soul yearned to be some place else. That's why, being with my boyfriend, I realised what has always been missing. So, I got interested in this entire family tree that my parents were setting up.

Only to be met with disappointment.

I would ask what they've come up with, only to have my mother have an emotional breakdown because there was a very small link to Vlad the Impaler (and how can such a "Christian" family be descendants of someone like him? But, I have to admit, if it would have been true in any way, I'd have thought it was really cool).

Then came the stories.

On my father's side: A man fighting for Scottish freedom, beheaded by a bitter king. Soldiers who left their country to find peace and solace in a new country, and to fight with their new brethren against colonialism. Workers who burned churches during the French Revolution, and having to flee. Others, hired to work on boats to bring the explorers to new countries. And in their new country. A husband killing himself and his wife (after having sent his children away to friends). A wife, killing her husband with the help of their son to cut the wife's son out of a trust (yes, the husband knew the child wasn't his, but trusted and loved him like his own).

On my mother's side: Witches who sacrifice and use blood rituals. Slotting themselves into the right place, only just in the shadows of aristocracy so their names wouldn't be remembered, but to the point where they would still curry favor. Whispers of magic and curses, and each generation having one young woman that dies young with no record of illness. Some who fled from famine and persecution. Others who, when they were reminded of their old homelands, turned traitor anew and got some killed in war.

And then we get to me.

Ninth generation. A melting pot of love, treachery, peace, war, solace, displacement.

I don't have the privilege to have direct knowledge of where I'm from before my families displaced themselves to other people's lands. No tether to a culture or tradition that's not pasted on with soft smiles and harsh hands.

Yes. I know the lands where I live aren't mine. I feel it every single day. I feel the call, but no way to get home. To follow back the routes that led us here. And it's a pain that is so distinct, so hollowing, that mostly I feel stupid just trying to talk about it. My story is not a unique one, not by a long shot. It's not traumatic. All it is is a cloying hollowness that I have to try to live with.

[eldrichscream]

Eldrich's expansive list of OTPs and NOTPs

[Used for my intro post reference]

OTPs

Tropes: A/B/O, Kink, Incest, Age gap, Headcanons, AUs, Magic

Boku No Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Bakugou Katsuki Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Shinsou Hitoshi Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Shirakumo Oboro Bakugou Katsuki/Dabi | Todoroki Touya Bakugou Katsuki/Kaminari Denki Bakugou Katsuki/Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko Bakugou Katsuki/Shinsou Hitoshi Bakugou Katsuki/Todoroki Shouto Chisaki Kai | Overhaul/Dabi | Todoroki Touya Chisaki Kai | Overhaul/Kurono Hari | Chronostasis Dabi | Todoroki Touya/Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko Dabi | Todoroki Touya/Takami Keigo | Hawks Dabi | Todoroki Touya/Todoroki Natsuo Dabi | Todoroki Touya/Todoroki Shouto Shinsou Hitoshi/Shirakumo Oboro Shinsou Hitoshi/Todoroki Shouto Characters: AFO, Aizawa Shouta, Awase, Bakugou Katsuki, Chronostasis, Dabi, Edgeshot, Geten, Hawks, Kaminari, Kudo, Kurogiri, Monoma, Mr Compress, Mummy, Nine, Oboro, Overhaul, Seiji, Shigaraki, Shinsou, Shouto, Skeptic

Haikyuu

Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio Iwaizumi Hajime/Semi Eita Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Kageyama Tobio/Kunimi Akira Komori Motoya/Sakusa Kiyoomi Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou Kuroo Tetsurou/Sawamura Daichi Meian Shuugo/Sawamura Daichi Meian Shuugo/Miya Atsumu/Miya Osamu Miya Atsumu/Miya Osamu Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi Semi Eita/Tendou Satori Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi Characters: Atsumu, Daichi, Hinata, Inunaki, Inuoka, Iwaizumi, Kageyama, Kenma, Kindaichi, Komori, Kunimi, Kuroo, Kyoutani, Maki, Mattsun, Meian, Oikawa, Osamu, Sakusa, Semi, Shirabu, Suga, Suna, Tendou, Yahaba, Yaku

Shingeki No Kyojin | Attack On Titan

Levi Ackerman/Armin Arlert Levi Ackerman/Eren Yeager Characters: Armin, Eld, Eren, Hange, Jean, Kuchel, Levi, Moblit, Sasha

NCIS

Anthony DiNozzo/Jethro Gibbs

Characters: Fornell, Gibbs, Palmer, Tony

Teen Wolf

Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski Derek Hale/Jackson Whittemore Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski Stiles Stilinski/Jackson Whittemore

Characters: Aiden, Coach, Danny, Derek, Ethan, Jackson, Nogitsune (!!!), Peter, Stiles

NOTPS

Dynamics: F/M, F/F, OT3+ (unless mentioned), Genderbends, MPreg Tropes: Coffee shop AUs (and adjacent), some kinks which I don't think is applicable here, anything that promotes puritanism in a very obvious way Ships/Characters: If it's not on my OTP list, then safely assume it's a NOTP. Because there are a lot of nuances, etc. but it's too confusing to explain a lot of times. Characters with no nuance are basically in Teen Wolf: Allison, Lydia, Melissa, Noah, Scott

[eldrichscream]

I'm going to be honest with y'all.

This season did not end how I wanted it to at all.

Let me tell you a story: I started watching F1 in 2022 under...interesting circumstances. I was brought into it by somebody else, and who I had to like was already planned out. I was brought into this sport as a pre-trained, avid Max Verstappen hater. Rules were embellished when explained to me. Races were re-framed. And even though some part of me fucking loved Max, I never felt like I was allowed to say it out loud. Until this season. When my boyfriend took my hand and he sat me down in front of the 2021 Abu Dhabi GP, and he begged me to watch it objectively with nobody in my ear.

So, going into this season I was reformed and probably ended up as one of the biggest Max fans. And seeing Lando Rules in action, I actually became somewhat an Oscar fan as well.

And that is why everything that happened during the season really leaves me disappointed in the sport itself. Especially, how everyone has started ganging up against Kimi Antonelli for the /two/ mistakes he made. It's his first season in F1, and he raced a fucking fantastic season. The real shame and villain is the Monza swap.

But all of that to remember, Max was never supposed to win. He had a fucking horrible car that he only dragged to where it is now because of his amazing racing ability, and the fact that he's a once-in-a-generation type of driver. (I say as they drag me to my padded cell, because I am not doing well). McLaren has been fumbling all season when they started turning their backs on the one driver that could have brought it home a month ago, and skirting penalties and further disqualifications. And, that penalty that Lando did not get, was unfair according to the precedent set IN 2025. Or are we going to delete Charles, Gabi and others' penalties for that exact move under the same circumstances this year?

The WDC this year wasn't won because of skill, grit or a champion mentality. It was won by underhanded dealings, favouritism disguised as "team orders", and the total breaking down of one serious WDC threat.

The four drivers that deserved to win WDC based on their skill, mentality and everything that makes an F1 driver great? Max Verstappen, Charles Leclerc, Oscar Piastri, and (I say this with extreme hardship) George Russel.

I also find it interesting that the only people saying Lando deserved to be WDC are all the people making money off of Formula 1 content.

But pushing all of that, and my disappointment to the side, you know what's really amazing about this season?

It's that I didn't watch the 2024 season because of a lot of factors. But, in this season. 2025. My boyfriend took me, balanced me, centred me, and we watched. Every. Single. Race. Of this calendar. And, even though it ended in disappointment and a harsh reality check. I still wouldn't wish that I stayed away. Because we faced the good moments and the hardships together. So, that's the highlight of this season for me. And in his words: We got to see the best comeback in real time. We got to go through the highs and lows of the season, and experience it together.

And I'm ready for 2026, and hopefully the next car that number 1 is emblazoned on is either the Scuderia¹⁶ or back home with Red Bull³³.

And I end this with: Max, that was simply lovely. Forza, Charles. (Please switch to a team that encourages you to be the best) Oscar, you ran a fantastic season. (Also please switch to a different team that sees your worth) Hold on to the good, Kimi. You're really doing great.

And to McLaren, you'll always be left wanting.