GO Thoughts

Where I keep all my theories and ideas about our favorite Ineffable Husbands and Co.

[elephantasmosgothoughts]

Plants Headcanon

I wonder if Crowley’s plants know that how Crowley treats them isn’t how he treats everyone else. They’re used to scathing threats and furious glares and screaming to “GROW BETTER!!!” Even though he still takes plenty care of them. They even saw him kill Ligur and scream at and trap Hastur, and it’s not like they have anything else to compare Crowley’s behavior to.

So. How about the first time Aziraphale comes over? They’re shaking, terrified, growing as best they can, and this angel comes over and they’re wondering just what kind of torment Crowley has planned for this stranger. But Crowley doesn’t scream at him, or threaten him, or even glare at him. Doesn’t pressure the angel at all, and it’s the most bizarre thing they’ve ever seen. No, their lord and dictator A.J. Crowley is soft, and loving, and only speaks in quiet tones, even though he’s still his sarcastic, moody self.

Maybe at first they’re jealous. Even upset. If Crowley’s so nice to this stranger, why can’t he be nice to them? Until they see more of his softer side, and hear their conversations about acting not dictatorishly to even more people outside the apartment, and they realize that Crowley can only be soft and vulnerable for Aziraphale. He’s in love. But, he’s still a demon after all. That, and with his normal personality, Crowley has a certain harshness he still needs to express sometimes. They start to realize how he uses them as stress relief so he can be soft with his angel, and it’s then they start thriving even more. They start actually growing better, because now they’ve met Aziraphale too, and fell a little in love with his adorableness and kindness just like Crowley did. If they can help their master, in any way, with stress relief and keeping Aziraphale around the apartment, they’ll do anything, and I think that’s a really cool headcanon to think about.

[elephantasmosgothoughts]

Pregnancy Headcanon

Okay, I know this isn’t a topic everyone likes, but I’ve been thinking a lot about this idea. I, for one, think it’s adorable. They’d be excellent, if not slightly stupid parents, and I think it would be lovely to see. But I was thinking about how they would break the news, specifically Crowley, so here’s what I came up with:

He’s a nervous wreck. He’s panicking, and he doesn’t tell Aziraphale right away. He’d noticed a few changes recently- dizziness, gets tired easier, sometimes nausea- but at first he assumed it had to do with being away from hell for so long. He’d kept a close eye on Aziraphale, but the angel didn’t seem to be experiencing any symptoms. He only figured out what was happening when he started getting food cravings. Never, in six thousand years, has Crowley wanted to eat more than he does now, so he took a test. And now he’s freaking out.

Aziraphale noticed something’s different. Crowley’s gained a little weight and seems to be eating more, which he thinks is delightful- he always did think Crowley was a bit too thin anyway. But, the demon also seems a bit jittery, and he’s starting to get worried. Why is Crowley avoiding him? Did he do something wrong? Whatever it is, he’s determined to find out, but he also knows Crowley needs his space. Eventually, if it’s still a problem, he knows Crowley will talk. Until then he’ll just have to wait and observe from afar.

And oh boy, does Crowley need space. He needs time to think, he needs to come to terms (ha!) with what is happening, because this is BIG. He knows, eventually, he and Aziraphale would’ve talked about having a baby someday, but he didn’t expect it to be so soon. Now he’s having all these doubts, constantly overthinking, extremely overwhelmed. What will this baby be like? Do they even know how to take care of one? Crowley’s a demon for someone’s sake, how good of a father could he possibly be? What if he hurts the baby? What if Heaven or hell comes after them and their child gets caught in the crossfire? That’s the thing that scares him the most. He loves Aziraphale so much, and despite his fear, he knows he’ll love their child just as intensely.

It all comes to a head during their next date at the Ritz. Aziraphale’s ordered his usual, and Crowley gets the same cause he’s not as familiar with the menu. Then the waiter comes and asks what kind of wine Crowley wants. Crowley says no. Crowley says no to alcohol, and Aziraphale nearly discorporates from shock and trying to figure out why. Never once in six thousand years has Crowley refused his precious alcohol, and now he’s really worried. He looks closer at the demon, seeing how pale and shaky Crowley is, the way he’s holding his stomach like he’s queasy, and how on earth did he not notice it before? Is Crowley sick? Clearly something’s wrong, and he won’t stand for it!

He decides right then and there that he can’t wait for Crowley to say something anymore. He needs answers, now. He refuses to watch Crowley not take care of himself, especially since he knows the demon has trouble asking for help. So he waits till after dinner. They get in the Bentley to drive home, and for some reason Crowley’s driving at a significantly slower speed, more like sixty instead of ninety mph. Aziraphale asks point blank what the matter is, and Crowley nearly plows into a stop light.

He pulls over. Aziraphale waits for an answer. Crowley’s shaking, the poor bean, and the nervous butterflies combined with morning sickness has him lurching out of the car to vomit. Aziraphale gets out too, rubs Crowley’s back, whispering comfortingly to him until Crowley’s nausea goes away enough for him to speak, and he just can’t keep it a secret anymore. He blurts out ‘I’m pregnant!’ and Aziraphale stares, like he doesn’t understand what he said.

He asks him to repeat it, his voice quiet, but Crowley can’t, so he just kind of squeaks and looks away. Then everything clicks into place- Crowley’s nervousness, his sudden want for food, why he’s sick -and Aziraphale explodes. Loudly, almost too loud for his polite librarian persona, which just goes to show how ecstatic he is. He’s all smiles and squeals and delighted wiggles, but also with an almost reverent gentleness, like he doesn’t know how much force he can still use when touching his husband. He grabs Crowley by the face to kiss him over and over, “I love you so much, you’re so beautiful!” and “we’re going to be parents!” and Crowley’s a little overwhelmed. Both he and Aziraphale get a little teary, and he nearly collapses from the relief he feels, and how much he loves his angel, and the new excitement for the future. Right there on the side of the road, hugging his husband, the Bentley screeching cheesy queen lyrics in the background, is one of the best moments of his entire life.

[elephantasmosgothoughts]

Guys. Mary was Jesus’s mother. Does this mean God is lesbian?

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Neil, Douglas, David and Michael devised a gesture system for miracles -  Aziraphale pulls power downwards, Crowley pulls power upwards. 

Similarly Aziraphale’s wings are pulled down and Crowley’s are pulled up. 

[contraststudies]

Ever since Neil Gaiman posted this ask, it’s been living in my mind rent-free. So let’s discuss: what language do Aziraphale and Crowley speak to one another? 

At first, I always thought that Aziraphale and Crowley would speak the language of the place where they were, because there was really no telling whether angels and demons still speak the same language.

But with Neil Gaiman’s post, consider: angels speaking the actual angelic tongue, and demons speaking a “dialect” of this angelic tongue. For reference, the Wiki definition of dialect is “a variety of a language characteristic of a particular group… dialects of a language are closely related and, despite their differences, are most often largely mutually intelligible.”

Coming from the same original stock, they would speak the same language initially, but demons would have to develop this language into something they could use (I suppose there are some words demons regularly use that angels would not, and vice versa). Plus, as time went on, presumably the angelic tongue that was spoken before the Fall would also change from what it originally was, as language does to accommodate the new context of the times.

But it could also be entirely possible that despite the deviations from the original angelic tongue, the angelic/demonic languages are still more or less the same, the way Heaven and Hell are depicted as being mirror images of each other, two sides of the same coin. In the same vein that good cannot exist without evil, the language they speak must contain elements of both for the language to have any meaning at all.

I imagine Crowley and Aziraphale speaking this angelic/demonic tongue throughout the years interspersed with bits from various human languages, because humans have concepts that would not occur to angels and demons and therefore would not exist in their language. For example: humor, sarcasm, metaphors - these things escape them, for the most part.

Imagine Crowley and Aziraphale speaking the angelic tongue with a hodgepodge of the languages they’ve learned over 6,000 years. They probably have words from ancient Sumerian back from when they were in Mesopotamia in their inside language that no human has heard in millennia. 

(It reminds me of how sometimes, multilingual people speak English and their mother tongue all in one breath. Sometimes, one word has a more appropriate meaning in one language, or maybe a word has no direct translation in the other. Or frankly, from personal experience, sometimes the brain is just stupid and can’t remember words – I use words from one language or the other to fill in the gaps.)

In the beginning when they first met, Crowley and Aziraphale spoke two different dialects of the original angelic tongue. They sort of understand more or less what the other is saying, but they’re not quite on the same page all the time. 

Today, they speak a language that makes sense only to the two of them, the angelic tongue with bits of French and Spanish and ancient Sumerian and ancient Greek and probably a bit of Chinese and a sprinkling of Filipino thrown in for good measure. A language totally incomprehensible to everyone except the two of them. They evolved their own language just from the sheer amount of time they’ve spent with each other on Earth. JUST IMAGINE.

One last note: Language is also nonverbal, and it is entirely possible that this nonverbal language also makes sense only to them. Makes you wonder… WHAT DOES ALL THIS PASSIONATE GAZING MEAN TO THEM? HMMM WHO KNOWS. WHAT A MYSTERY.

[charlottemadison42]

ohmigod, never have i so quickly adopted a headcanon

I love the idea of them both gradually becoming incomprehensible (when they speak to one another) to the rest of humanity, to heaven, and to hell.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Okay, but this also makes all that talk of “second alternative rendez vous” and “don’t call me NICE” fucking hilarious, because none of it matters in the slightest.

Crowley could ring Aziraphale up and be like “hey angel, want to meet up under the bandstand in St James Park at exactly x time on the dot so we can catch up and chat about how we’re both totally traitors and also I’m actually kind of a good person sometimes? Cool, ciao!” and it would basically mean the same thing to Heaven and Hell, whose surveillance teams are currently wondering if their mics are working, because they only caught about two words of that, and those don’t make sense in context.

This also explains how they are able to have some frankly disturbing conversations in full view of the humans about horrifying floods and trying to circumvent the apocalypse and so forth, and none of them say anything. They’re all just trying to work out exactly where those two nice looking gentlemen are from. (They’re pretty sure they caught some shaky sounding French a few sentences ago, but now that one is speaking what sounds a bit like Japanese, and the other one made some noises in response that they’re not sure human vocal chords should be capable of…)

Aziraphale and Crowley are aware that their superiors prefer them to speak in enochian (or whatever the angelic language is called), and that they have to try and speak more formally when they’re not on Earth, but they haven’t quite realised that the reason Gabriel looks at Aziraphale funny and tells him to “speak up” when he lapses into the sort of language he uses with Crowley is because the two of them have essentially developed their own personal creole. The transition from demonic and angelic enochian, to demonic and angelic enochian with some human words thrown in, to a combination of the two and also a various mixture of every human language they’ve ever become fluent in, was gradual enough that they didn’t really pick up on it.

This also raises the possibility that either they had to spend a lot of time teaching each other their respective dialects the night before the bodyswap (which might not be that hard, if the language they usually use is just a combined version of both of them) or, more entertainingly, one of the reasons why Gabriel was so short with ‘Aziraphale’ at his execution is because he genuinely has very little idea what he’s saying, but he’s pretty sure he just caught the enochian for “greater good” in amongst all the babble (although the accent is fucking bizzare), so he’s going to seize on that and hope that he can make Aziraphale stop talking before any of the other archangels realise that he can’t understand him.

[contraststudies]

How DARE you hide this in the tags @cheeseanonioncrisps

#good omens #aziraphale speaks angelic enochian with a slight english accent #during the warlock years crowley’s demonic enochian becomes more and more scottish #good omens meta#good omens headcanons #crowley is talking to Aziraphale on a bus #and a nearby human says ‘hey you’re in england! speak english!’ #they both switch to old english #nobody gets it #except for the one student at the back of the bus #who’s been studying anglo-saxon literature #and now has to explain to her friends why she’s giggling so much #they drive their superiors mad #crowley uses whatever language he likes in his reports #knowing that hell’s desk workers can’t keep track of current human writing systems #during the ancient egypt craze of the 1920s #he sent in a few written in what he remembered of hieroglyphics #knowing that by the time they translated it to something his higher ups could read #he would have done something more impressive to get them off his back about that several decades long nap #but even his enochian is… off #because he’ll slip into the angelic dialect without realising #aziraphale does the same with demonic slang #(michael notices but doesn’t say anything and sometimes asks ligur to translate some of the newer words) #they talk to each other more than they talk to heaven and hell

[sarahthecoat]

rb for awesome discussion

[elephantasmosgothoughts]

Okay, but now think about that guy that spoke to Aziraphale after Crowley was all ‘and I won’t even think about you!” He’d have no fucking clue what Crowley just said. He just knows the tone and the angry way Crowley’s waving about and driving off, the sad look on Aziraphale’s face, and just decides that’s it’s a lover’s quarrel. “Don’t worry, you’re better off without him.” In other words, humans are so stupid, but can be so clever, and it’s hilarious.

[elephantasmosgothoughts]

I know it’s a bit of a long shot, but I was thinking about the stereotype that mental problems are caused by phones. That awful, really messed up mentality that ‘oh, he’s on a phone all day? Must be why he has depression’ or ‘must be why he’s so moody and messed up all the time’.

Then I thought about Warlock, and Adam in comparison. Warlock was thought to have been the anti-Christ. By two idiots, yes, but the thing about his character is that he’s always moody, on his phone, etc. But he’s not the anti-Christ. Then think about Adam, the boy who loves the outdoors, who socializes with friends, runs through nature, looks for all the world like the sweetest, most innocent kid ever. And he’s the anti-Christ. Like I said it’s a bit far-fetched, but it seems like a subtle jab at that stupid phone-mental health stereotype, and further still, that people are so much more than their first impressions.

People aren’t what you expect them to be. In order to know who they truly are, you have to look deeper.

And, isn’t that shown in literally every other character in the fandom too? Crowley, the demon that’s nice. Aziraphale, the materialistic, emotionally torn angel. Hell, all the angels, who are supposed to be good, are worse than the demons are. The whole theme for Good Omens, at least one of them, is to look beyond face value, to find your own truth and connections, however unlikely they are. I’ll be honest when I say I’ve only been in this fandom for a few months, but I’ve heard stories about how this book changed people’s lives. I haven’t read it yet (I’m going to someday) but the more I spend time thinking about it, the deeper and more meaningful it gets, and I can finally see why it can have that kind of affect on people. That’s pretty amazing.

[elephantasmosgothoughts]

Aziraphale would give the best comforting hugs. They’d feel so warm and fluffy, yet secure and supportive at the same time. Even if you’re a complete stranger, he’d probably whisper comforting things to you, low and soothing, and rub your back till you calm down. Maybe he’d offer to make you tea, and sit in his bookshop to talk about whatever happened. Maybe he’d give you advice, or some numbers to call, and you bet your ass he’d put some kind of calming miracle over you when you leave, some kind of warm reassurance that stays with you till you get back home, or to a person you’re close to.

We all need an Aziraphale in our lives.

[elephantasmosgothoughts]

Guys I know it’s a horrible joke, but remember that old vine that’s like “help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”

Naturally, since I also have an unhealthy hyper fixation on GO, I can only apply this to Crowley- *braces for tomato projectiles* I’M SORRY!!!

[elephantasmosgothoughts]

Hello! I wrote a fic a while ago, and it just now occurred to me that I can post it here too. Let me know what you think!

Of Stars And Meteorites

Summary: He's the meteorite to his angel's stars, but the pain of falling is always worth the beauty.

Words: 1,313

Tags: Crowley, Aziraphale mentioned, Crowley loves Aziraphale, Drabble, Mentioned God, Crowley was Raphael before falling, He/him pronouns for Crowley, He/him pronouns for Aziraphale, Crowley’s fall, Crowley created the stars.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25160404

[elephantasmosgothoughts]

We know Aziraphale only gave Crowley that tartan flask of holy water so he wouldn’t accidentally kill himself trying to steal it. But think about that situation. This is Aziraphale, the angel who’s so in love but can’t let himself acknowledge it. The guy who pines and yearns but rejects because he’s afraid. So when Crowley asks for holy water, ‘insurance’ that most certainly means a suicide pill, he finally discovers what he fears even more than Heaven: Crowley dying. Crowley’s asking Aziraphale to enable his own suicide, should the need for ‘insurance’ arise. Of course he says no. Vehemently. The one time he refuses to help according to the Arrangement. If Crowley goes through with that, it’ll be his fault for supplying the method, and he couldn’t live with himself if that happened. Of course Crowley tries to get some himself, at which point Azi realizes it’s inevitable. So he takes the path with less risk of accidental death, and gives Crowley the flask, knowing that it’ll be his fault if Crowley uses it.

Now imagine this. It’s after the apocadidnt, they’re finally free to be together. They’ve finally started openly showing affection, behaving like a real couple does. And Azi remembers the flask. He asks for it back- Crowley doesn’t need it anymore, not when he has Aziraphale to protect him now. Crowley’s claim that he ‘used it already’ throws him for a heart wrenching loop. All the worst images come to mind. When? Why? Was it an attempt? How is he alive? He’s in shock, all these thoughts of Crowley being depressed and alone taking over, and naturally he internalizes that feeling of guilt, and it takes quite an effort on Crowley’s part to calm him enough to give him an explanation. By the time he’s done, Aziraphale couldn’t care less about the fact that Crowley killed Ligur with it, he’s just glad that something hadn’t happened to make Crowley use it on himself. That’s the only thing that matters, because Crowley is his world, and he can’t imagine living without him.

[elephantasmosgothoughts]

I know I already did a post about ‘you go too fast for me’ but consider: the book shop was the first time Aziraphale went too fast for Crowley. The one time he couldn’t save his angel in six thousand years, and it’s because Crowley couldn’t go fast enough.

[elephantasmosgothoughts]

Circus AU! I need a fic for this! Here’s my idea:

The one where Crowley’s some kind of acrobat or trapeze artist. Incredibly talented, freakishly flexible, hand/eye coordination through the roof, can do so many incredible things. He fell once as a kid, which has left its scars, but he works hard to make up for it. He loves being in the air, doing what he does best, and he loves his circus family.

Aziraphale, naturally, is a magician! Incredibly talented and witty, fooling even the cleverest of people. He loves making children happy. Loves the look of wonder in people’s eyes when he does something outrageous. Maybe he even trains with birds! He grew up in a strict religious family, but ran away when he was a teenager when his parents rejected him for being gay.

Maybe he’s kept some of his religious conditioning. Aziraphale gets flustered around this devilish acrobat, but won’t let himself admit that he loves him. Crowley, in turn, is hopelessly in love with the caring, soft magician that loves to brighten people’s days. Maybe an incident happened, where he came on too strongly, and Aziraphale’s reaction scared them both away from each other, so now he pines from afar.

And other characters can be added too! Madame Tracy as a fortune teller. Newt, of course, as a clown. I thought Anathema could be a fortune teller too, but with madame Tracy already in the position, maybe she’d be better suited to being Crowley’s partner, another acrobat. She ‘curses’ people though. A hilarious string of coincidental misfortunes happening to any person she curses. Shadwell would be some kind of lion tamer, he has that whole tough guy general vibe anyways.

Guys I’m going to write a fic about this someday. I don’t know how to write long ones yet, cause I’m a horrible plotter, but still. This idea is too good to give up and I really love it.

[skimbleshankstherailwaycat]

hot take: aziraphale says "you go too fast for me crowley" because he can sense love and he's still kind of shook that it only took him saying he gave his flaming sword away for the biggest purest wave of love he's ever felt to start emanating from some random demon

[skimbleshankstherailwaycat]

we're all just npcs in the strange video game of aziraphale's life

[thegoodomensdumpster]

Dialogue option: “You go too fast for me Crowley.” Crowley will remember this. 

[pinkpiggy93]

Aziraphale: "you go too fast for me, Crowley"

New path unlocked.

[elephantasmosgothoughts]

Azi:“You go too fast for me Crowley”

Crowley: *thinking* “Yeah but the only way to slow down is if you die”

Me: *flashing forward to when Crowley straight up crashed and burned after he thought Azi really DID die, but the second he found out he was alive he goes speeding in a flaming car to meet him again* wow. My heart’s cracked, but Crowley seriously never slows down. Aziraphale is like crack to him.

[elephantasmosgothoughts]

Crowley terrorizes his plants, but I like to imagine he loves them too. Like, he’ll scream at them, he’ll put the fear of God (him) into them, he’ll make them think they’ll get shredded if they don’t perform well. But he always takes care of them. Always gives them the right amount of water, shapes them, gives them all the sunlight they need, the right soil, etc. You KNOW he’s proud of them, secretly. But if someone hurts them in some way? Or maybe he’s walking down the street and sees someone stepping on the flowers at the park, and he just loses his shit. “HOW?? DARE YOU?!? THESE FLOWERS ARE TRYING SO HARD TO GROW ALL ON THEIR OWN, THEY’VE WORKED THEIR ASSES OFF, AND YOU JUST STEP ON THEM?!” Of course he miracles them straight again, the only time he’ll help a plant with miracles is when something beyond their actual control hurts them. I like to think about this a lot ☺️

[elephantasmosgothoughts]

I wonder what Hastur was like before he Fell. Clear skin, healthy blond hair, deep brown eyes that speak of the love he feels for everything, even when he doesn’t broadcast it like other angels do. I think he’d have a rather dry sense of humor- hilarious, but sometimes flying right over the heads of his peers. When he Fell, he lost that humor, hence his hatred for jokes, the kind that reminds him of what he used to have.

Imagine majestic white wings, thin but spanning far, feathers soft but firm to match his personality as an angel. Kind but hard working hands, always the most efficient at whatever they’re doing. He’d have been considered one of the most reliable angels, always somewhat serious and steadfast like he is as a demon, but not incapable of having fun. A brother. Someone other angels looked up to.

I imagine he Fell for saying something he shouldn’t have, to the wrong person maybe. Usually he’s very good at keeping secrets, but with the First War breaking out, his loyalties are divided. Friend vs friend, one side planning the rebellion, the other planning to squash it. Eventually he’d overhear something important, and he’d have to choose. So he did. He helped the rebellion, betrayed against his better judgement. So he Fell, and became a bullfrog to fit his crime of blurbing. Always croaking, searching for flies of information, twisted to fit his new nature as a demon.

Every character in this show is so interesting to think about. Even if it’s not true, I love that we can fill in the blanks ourselves and it still makes sense.

[elephantasmosgothoughts]

Guys let’s talk about Gabriel for a minute. We all know him as this angry, shitty boss figure, but what is he really? Yes, a boss. An archangel of Heaven. Someone so dedicated to his job that he’s willing to hurt his own family to get things done. He’s still an asshole, but he loves God so much, he’s willing to do anything for her. He trusts her implicitly. He’s brainwashed himself into thinking he’s always right, because to acknowledge that he’s wrong is to acknowledge that God is wrong, and that he’s been harming people for nothing. He’s narcissistic, rude, bigoted, but now that he knows the Ineffable Plan is more important than the Great plan? If he somehow saw that the pain he causes people is unnecessary? He’d change. In a big way. God will always be his main focus, but he’d start asking questions too, the kind that he used to think was dangerous. He’d start treating people better, though he’d never admit it. He’d be less harsh on lesser angels like Aziraphale, more accommodating to humans even. Maybe, given enough time to think things through, he’d even apologize to people, even though it makes him uncomfortable. The kind of character growth people go through when the foundation of their beliefs has been shook. And who knows? Perhaps he’d even be willing to be nice to demons, in which case he and Beezelbub could be a possibility, finally. I’m not excusing his behavior and downright savagery to Aziraphale, but what I’m trying to say is that he’s just as well rounded of a character as Crowley or Aziraphale. He has a lot of potential to change and be an ally, maybe even a friend, instead of just a shitty boss and I think that’s really cool.

[elephantasmosgothoughts]

If Aziraphale was a demon, his main deadly sin would be Lust, change my mind. We all know how much he likes Gluttony, with food, books, etc. But come on. Look at Angel Crowley (or Raphael, if you like that headcanon) in all his beauty. Red fiery hair, golden eyes, the saunter with sexy hips, the sensual way his lips quirk when he’s about to laugh, always witty and ready with a sarcastic response. One glance and Aziraphale would be half way to the moon. He’d give up food if it meant having Crowley. As a demon, combined with his penchant for gluttony, he’d be even thirstier than demon Crowley is and I think that’s a hilarious concept.