elfgirlcore

she/her 400 years HRT

[pnglove]

let’s get cozy with mama

[weirdpngs]

Baby need smoko

[kushblazer666]

me

[elfgirlposting]

"No you don't understand, if I drive a small car it will get crushed by all the bigger cars! The only way to be safe is to be in the biggest, stupidest vehicle on the road!"

Ride the bus motherfucker, can't get much bigger than that.

[mollyjames]

hush hush

[badassdemonsword]

Im dryin up faster than lake mead just thinking about it

[the-bar-sinister]

[femmenietzsche]

Hot tip for any aspiring contract killers/hitmen - if you pretend to have a code of honor sometimes you can dupe clients into paying you extra for women and children

[arden-in-the-garden]

I had a dream last night that the Decemberists guy put out a new song that was him announcing the band was breaking up, but the song was also his like detailing his future career path, and it was an excruciatingly granular 13.5 minutes of him explaining to us in detail that he was going to become a world renowned marionette maker and like the steps he was going to take to complete this (step 1 was learn to spin flax to make his own cord, step 2 was learn whittling to create his own puppets, step 3 to make his own paints, etc etc. He was going for that vertical slice sort of thing) All the while someone was shouting in the background I DON'T WANNA BREAK UP and WHO'S GOING TO GET MY ACCORDION because apparently there was a custody battle happening for that?? But as it turned out the song was too much of a banger and people wouldn't let them quit and also he had like horrible arthritis in his hands that was preventing him from making the shit so they announced within the week that the band was actually back together and The Marionette Maker's Heart's Desire was like their new #1 hit

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

After school care pulled me aside about my child dropping an f-bomb “without remorse” and I put on my concerned face and nodded a bunch.

Apparently he was building something with a younger kid “who really looks up to him and is just starting to make friends” and said “Hey, you’re really fucking good at this.” which is, in my estimation, really a parenting victory.

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

I absolutely failed at doing this:

[rainbow-femme]

Bro they got geep in Ohio

[dacuala]

numpy

rhymes with lumpy

rhymes with dumb pie

Voting ended onAug 2

[gender-trash]

question for 61% of you: do you also pronounce the programming language like "pee-thon"??

[molags-balls]

wyd after taking this

[skelegun]

[tpwrtrmnky]

sometimes it occurs to me that while "get bottom surgery and then use a strapon" is an obvious course of action for many trans lesbians, a lot of cis people would be extremely confused by the suggestion that someone would do this.

[duchessvongooseberg]

🗣️ 📢 ‼️

[tf2heritageposts]

millions of american soldiers die every year trying to rocket jump. thankfully their lives are worthless

[allegedly-human]

nothing is more tumblr than having a tumblr sexyman wiki and then warn you to not find some of those men sexy because it's problematic

[sapphire--moonlight]

you all have to check out the rules if this wiki. theyre wild

Generally, you will be warned for breaking the rules a few times before you are banned. The first ban will likely be one week long, the seco

Throwing this one out as a fave. Didnt realize Animal Crossing was porn.

They also have a classification system aped from scp including a tier for character who nobody thinks are sexy. unsexy characters are allowed and if a character actually has sex thats too sexy for the sexman wiki

[sailatina3]

What on earth

[toskarin]

I don’t understand the sexual appeal of elves. Could you help clarify for me?

we're gonna start with the basics: imagine an ear that comes to a point

[toskarin]

maybe if he had, we'd remember him as hugo dyson

[rambrandt-the-painter]

wonder if people would like to see me draw actually monstrous women....

[rambrandt-the-painter]

okay you all said yes you can't get mad at me

[rambrandt-the-painter]

they're all dating <3

[segamascott]

taylor swift invited a guy who owns and operates an ice detention center to her wedding swifties can pack it up forever now your bitch is awful

[originalitysquared]

Wild how no one made announcements like this about P.Diddy when his trial was happening.

Wild how abusive artists like Micheal Jackson can have biography movies made and not a single mention of accused abuses or the subsequent trials will be mentioned.

Hmmmm I wonder why people feel the need to explicitly condemn women and any action they may have possibly been a part of (like inviting a shitty guy to your wedding) yet do not extend this same behavior to men in the same industry who commit abuse and atrocities on a much larger scale 🤔?

[segamascott]

yeah i hate concentration camps because i hate women you caught me