Eli Tells Stories

they~them / on my nerd sh!t 🤓 / fandom 🔱 / Give me a writing prompt if you like. Don't ask me for money, though. You'll be barking up the wrong tree.

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

"He makes me laugh so much, and he's such a brilliant actor, it's lovely to be looking at him, gazing into those eyes, those Scottish eyes." - Michael about David on Lorraine 02.03.2026 🥰❤️

[redrosesinblue]

[heymeowmao]

2026.02.27 ° Chang Huasen Weibo Update

[lavenderlemniscate]

feels like im always recovering. when do i get to live

[lavenderlemniscate]

"it's okay to rest for as long as you need from burnout" how long is it actually going to take though. there's stuff i wanna do.

[godspeedyoublackemperor]

thinking about how my history teacher was talking about the french revolution one time and he wrote "bourgeoisie" on the board and said raise your hand if you think you can pronounce this and i raised my hand and he looked at the hammer and sickle pin on my backpack and said "ill come back to you"

[salty-inc]

Gonna tell y’all what I can hear now that I got my hearing aids

[salty-inc]

Birds! They chirp and it’s so beautiful.

[salty-inc]

Far away cow moos

[salty-inc]

My friend has this is his back yard and to say I cried is an understatement.

[salty-inc]

My best friends singing voice

[salty-inc]

Chickens: *chicken noise*

Me, sobbing:

[salty-inc]

The filter for my fish tank! Bubble bubble bubble

[salty-inc]

I sit in the bass section in band. Today I could clearly hear the flutes up at the front! They’re not great, but I can finally hear them!

[salty-inc]

The sound of walking in sand.

Soft but kinda crunchy? Very nice sound 10/10

[salty-inc]

Me playing guitar for the first time. Took the hearing aids out. Not a very good sound… yet

[salty-inc]

Tree leaves in the wind. I got a little spooked at first because it’s 1 am and I’m alone in the park but it’s a real good sound.

[salty-inc]

Bees

Let me say, it was really fucking terrifying walking past the flowering tree in my backyard and hearing zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz coming from it.

[salty-inc]

“sunlight” by Hozier

I sat in my car alone while listening to it. I knew it would be special but wow, that was a religious experience.

[salty-inc]

Their hooves make sounds in the grass but they are completely silent. Beautiful creatures. Beautiful sound

[salty-inc]

Pine needles and pine cones make crunchy sounds!!! Oh my! Very nice

[salty-inc]

Colored pencils make a real nice scratch noise when I’m drawing. I didn’t know they did that

[salty-inc]

I forgot to add this is the beginning! But that little sniffing noise that dogs make when they’re smelling the air or the ground? Wonderful!

[salty-inc]

OCEAN!!!!!!

[salty-inc]

So there was just an entire booth full of wind chimes for sale at mountain fair. It started to get a little windy and they all went off at once. It was so pretty.

[cj-valentine]

This is the most beautiful post on this whole site

[popcultureds]

GONE GIRL (2014)  dir. David Fincher

[birdmans]

Diary of a Wimpy Kid dir. Thor Freudenthal

[lemuenic]

[eli-tells-stories]

A Mythology Refresher:

[eli-tells-stories]

During The Son of Neptune:

Percy: "Do we know each other?"

Nico:

[eli-tells-stories]

ps: I rewrote this 5 times, but at least I used my own thumbs dammit

[eli-tells-stories]

My Queer/Adhd Unable-to-Sit-in-a-Chair-Right Reckoning:

Today I stubbed my big toe, and it was nowhere near the ground. I stubbed it on the underside edge of the coffee table as I lifted my foot to slip into my signature cross-legged position, social norms be damned.

Mind you, I've just clipped may nails, too, so the underside edge of the table connected with my nub of a clipped nail. Not to mention its -2°C here, and colder than a Hyperborean's ballsack — so, my feet are cold.

Am I making clear to y'all just how much pain I am currently in?

[witchchild]

[thaliasthunder]

OH SHES HERE AND SHES THUNDERSTRUCKING

[eli-tells-stories]

She can do whatever she wants, forever.

[eli-tells-stories]

On Venezuela - a Rant.

If His US Imperial Pussy Highness (derogatory) decides to pull a similar stunt on Canada (we can all agree its about the oil, not the drugs, right?), then I will be... prepared. Take heed.

Every Canadian should go watch Red Dawn, and I mean both films (1984 with Swayze and 2012 with Hemsworth) to get an accurate representation of how I will be responding to any hostile invasion, occupation, or other such acts against my country by the current US administration. How I'd expect any red-blooded Northerner to respond.

Venezuela might be cheering now (even though over 40 cilivians and military personnel died in the attack on Caracas), but that is going to change very fucking quickly. I'm predicting it now. Marines in Venezuelan streets with assault rifles "keeping the peace" until Cheeto Man can install a puppet of his choosing. The resulting power vacuum from kidnapping Maduro is his own little creation, the opportunist fuck. I just wish there was something I could singlehandedly do to help those people that think the US just "liberated" them of their dictator. Out of the frying pan...

If he can disregard the rule of law and do this, and his soldiers are actually following his unlawful orders, I have no doubt he will try it with his Northern neighbors who boast an abundance of natural resources and fossil fuels on our land. If he doesn't face consequences for this act of war, if he receives ANY kind of positive reinforcement from this, he will do it again. We need to stop being so fucking complacent and implicit.

If you won't watch Red Dawn, at least read The Hunger Games trilogy. Understand that these stories are prophetic as fuck. Understand that we are in an era were dystopian media is at a Simpson's level of prevalency. We need a Rebellion. Desperately.

To close, I want anyone reading this to celebrate the Ides of March with me this year - with our full fucking chests. Bring back the Guillotine. Bring back executing dictators, tyrants, and despots.

Just know - nay, mark me motherfucker - I and people like me will become your worst nightmare, Donald. You better think thrice before you look North. Because We The North. Canada has never lost a war. And we aren't about to start now. Elbows Up, bitches.

/rantover.

[nuthin-gold-can-stay]

no but the fact that percy jackson used to work summer jobs before he found chb will never not be funny to me

because can you imagine being a regular ol' new yorker

and turning the corner one fine summer day

and the first thing you see is this ratty emo kid who is clearly ADHD, younger than twelve, and trying to walk five dogs at once while holding his lunch money in one hand, somebody's pizza that has to be delivered to the opposite city of the city in the next fifteen minutes in the other, with a packet of undone summer homework spilling out of his backpack, and he's doing it all while riding a skateboard down lexington avenue

[eli-tells-stories]

this is the realest thing I've seen today. VERY New York.

[eli-tells-stories]

Am I on a John Williams kick?

Yes.

Am I watching every film with his music in chronological order of release?

Yes.

It's about to get messy.